ROOTS AND WINGS
FOURTH GRADE
LESSON TWO
Rev 10-04
I.
Review
A. Ask students to take out their R&W folders and put on their nametags.
B. Remind students that last time you were together, they:
1. Learned the ground rules they would be following in their Roots
and Wings lessons.
2. Reviewed previous lessons.
3. Remind them of what they listed on the board during the last
lesson.
II.
Overview
A. Tell students that by the end of 4th grade, they should have a good
understanding of what assertiveness is and how to communicate their
needs effectively.
B. Tell students that today’s lesson will focus on reviewing the 3 types of
communicators – assertive, aggressive and passive. Tell them that you
hope they will be able to define assertiveness by the end of the lesson.
III.
Program
A. Review the 3 types of communicators: The Aggressive (Bully), The
Passive, and The Assertive Communicator. Students should be familiar
with these terms from their third grade Roots and Wings lessons.
1.
Hand out definitions of Assertive, Aggressive and Passive. Ask a
student to read aloud and discuss examples of each.
2.
Focus on assertiveness and use the example of Martin Luther
King Jr. as an assertive person. Dr. King was a PeaceBuilder. He
noticed the hurt that racism caused, and he did something to right
this wrong.
 He could have taken the passive route and quietly allowed
racism to go on.
 He could have also taken the aggressive (violent) approach that
others in his day took like the Black Panthers.
 Instead, Dr. King politely, but very firmly stated his beliefs.
He hurt no one, yet he had a huge impact on how Americans
viewed racism.
B. Hand out bookmarks (Optional: wait until Martin Luther King day/week
to hand out bookmarks.).
IV.
Evaluation
A. Role Play: Pick 3 students from the class. Give them each one of the 3
cards that have the 3 types of communicators on them. Tell them that you
will read a situation to them, and that you want them to react to this
situation the way the type of communicator on their card would. Have the
rest of the class guess which type they are portraying and give feedback as
to other ways that students could have responded assertively.
B. Repeat this several times with several different groups of 3 so that
more students have a chance to participate.
SITUATIONS:
Situation #1: You are standing in line at the movie theatre and someone
cuts in front of you. You are not sure if they saw you.
Situation #2: You are on the playground and someone will not let you
participate in a game.
Situation #3: You are rollerblading on the sidewalk in front of your
house. A neighbor kid comes over and pushes your younger sister off her
bicycle.
Situation #4: You go out to eat at a restaurant and order a cheeseburger.
The cheeseburger is cold.
Situation #5: Your parents have asked the kids next door to stay out of
the flowerbed, and the kids are running through it again.
OPTIONAL: If there is time, you can have students think of situations
and discuss to handle it assertively.
V.
Summary
Thank the students. Tell them that you “have a dream” that each child will
become a more assertive person by the end of 4th grade.
Lesson Purpose
To review the 3 types of communicators, to teach the children what it means
to be assertive. To use bookmarks as a visual cue to remind the children of
the meaning of assertiveness.
Objectives:
1. The students will be able to list the three types of communicators.
2. The students will learn the definition of assertive.
3. The students will learn the difference between being assertive, aggressive,
and passive.
4. The students will see Martin Luther King Jr. as an example of an assertive
person.
PF Lesson Prep



Make copies of the definition of Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
Pick up the visual cue (bookmark, etc).
Optional: Bring in a picture of Martin Luther King Jr.
Lesson Material Required
1.
2.
3.
4.
Aggressive, Passive, and Assertive Role Play Cards
Student copies of Passive, Aggressive, Assertive definition sheet.
Visual cue (bookmark)
Optional: Picture of Martin Luther King Jr.
Instructions: cut each communication style out and paste onto an index card.
AGGRESSIVE (BULLY)




Speak with a loud and harsh voice to stand up for rights,
thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
Be disrespectful of the other person’s rights.
Refuse to compromise.
Body Language: Angry, staring eye contact, invade
personal body space, use aggressive gestures like pointing
your finger at the other person, and stand with a stiff,
clenched up posture.
PASSIVE



Either not say what you feel and want, or say it in a very
soft, meek and apologetic way so it doesn’t look like you
really mean it.
Be respectful of the other person’s rights, BUT disregard
your own rights.
Body Language: No eye contact, use nervous gestures
and stand with head hanging, and with a slumped posture.
ASSERTIVE




Speak calmly and stand up for personal rights, say what
your thoughts are, what you are feeling and what you
believe.
Be respectful of the other person’s rights.
Be open to compromise.
Body Language: Direct, but non-threatening eye contact,
respect personal body space, and stand with an erect, but
relaxed posture.
Definitions: Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
PASSIVE:

Violates one’s own rights by failing to express honest feelings, thoughts, and beliefs and
consequently permitting others to violate oneself or the expressing of one’s own thoughts and
feelings in such an apologetic, meek manner that others can easily disregard them.

The basic message of a passive communicator: “My feelings don’t matter – only yours do.
My thoughts aren’t important – yours are the only ones worth listening to. I’m nothing –
you’re superior”.

The goal of passive communication is to appease others and to avoid conflict at any cost.

Body Language: No eye contact, soft, whiny or muffled voice, cringing/or physically making
yourself seem small (hang-dog posture), use of nervous or childish gestures.
AGGRESSIVE:

Stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a way that is
often dishonest, usually inappropriate, and always violates the rights of others.

The basic message of an aggressive communicator: “This is what I think – you’re stupid for
believing differently. This is what I want – what you want is not important. This is what I
feel – your feelings don’t count”.

The goal of aggressive communication is domination, and winning, forcing the other person
to lose. Winning is ensured by humiliating, degrading, belittling, or overpowering other
people so that they become weaker or less able to express and defend their needs and rights.

Body Language: Invasive/angry staring – eye contact, loud voice, invasion of personal body
space, use of aggressive gestures (pointing finger), stiff, “muscled up” posture, towering over
others.
ASSERTIVE:

Stands up for personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and
appropriate ways that do not violate another person’s rights.

The basic message of an assertive communicator: “This is what I think. This is what I feel.
This is how I see the situation”.

The goal of assertive communication is to get and give respect, to ask for fair play, and to
leave room for compromise when the rights and needs of two people conflict.

Body Language: Direct, but non-threatening eye contact, calm voice, respectful of personal
body space, use of illustrative gestures, and an erect, but relaxed posture.