Elise Schmidt
Family Systems
LP8
1
As a child you grow up in your household with rules and roles. As you grow older and
older you notice other families live differently and do things in a different manner. You realize
your family is unique and your system is an individual itself. As a child you see this and as a
teenager you may ask why even resent your family system. As a young adult, especially in this
class, you see your life as a puzzle and all the pieces coming together. You knew what was
happening, but the “whys” start being answered as are the “hows”.
As a little girl I had a better relationship with my father than my mother. My mother was
at the hierarchy of the household and held the most power. This resulted in a strain in my
mothers’ and my relationship as a teenager, and me being a “daddy’s girl”. Within my social
group when reminiscing about our childhood they all tell stories about how their mothers would
say “just wait till your father gets home” but my brother and I had a different authoritarian. As a
child this characteristic of our family system was the first indicator that our family was unique.
I am from a nuclear family and grew up in a Christian home. These two things I
believe dramatically have affected who I am today and how our family operated. Our rules were
based off our religious values. Like all families our family had boundaries and redundant
patterns of behavior which characterizes our relationships within our family system (Becvar &
Becvar, 1999) which gave us our own identity. Within my family system we had an open system
that was flexible. This led our family to flow smoothly through changes that life would bring and
allow us to return to homoeostasis.
As a teenager I thought our family lacked communication and my voice was never
heard. In only a few short years maturity and with the help of this class I have realized that is not
the case. Both my parents let my brother and I express us verbally; as long as it was respectful.
My parents also verbally expressed to us how they felt and our communication was very open
Elise Schmidt
Family Systems
LP8
2
verbally. When listening and talking my parents gave us their full attention and used facial
gestures indicating sincerity. (Missouri Department of Social Services, 2007)
In truth out of my family members I had the loudest non-verbal communication. My facial
gestures when communicating were and still are all over the place along with hand movements
when talking leading me to believe that I caused circular causality when communicating with my
family. (Becvar & Becvar, 1999) In any context of talking with our parents the rules of the family
were always used. My brother and I could never use inappropriate language such as swearing,
cursing, and using the Lord’s name in vain. Respectful communication was always expected
verbally and non-verbally. Rolling of the eyes and eye contact were two non-verbal rules that we
always applied when communicating.
My brother and I had a very close alliance and were our own subsystem. Although I am
two years older than my brother and a different sex we have always been incredibly close.
Since birth he has been my little baby and one of my best friends. Being the first born I had
more responsibility, due to my personality I was very talkative and outgoing which I believe led
my brother to be quiet and reserved; our personalities worked well together.
Being first born had the largest impact on my life. Our family is very close we see my
aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents very often. I was the first born out of all of my cousins
on both sides which led me to enjoy the lime light. (Neal, 2009) As an adult this has not
changed and affected how I view myself. My parents let me be an individual and I felt so loved
as a child from all of my family that I was comfortable with who I was. As a child I did not follow
the crowed, as a teenager girl I never looked down at myself, and as an adult I know my
strengths and I’m okay with my weaknesses. The love I knew I had and the different
components from my family system made growing up easy. I knew I had people to talk to and
that were there for me and I had confidence in myself.
Elise Schmidt
Family Systems
LP8
3
My mother highly values family which is one reason why we are so close and one
reason as a teenager I rebelled: letting go was difficult for her. At eighteen I disrupted our family
system by getting pregnant and moving out. I appreciated my family and saw how blessed I was
because of this. My mother, who I was the most fearful of telling, was there for me in every way.
She has become my best friend as well as my mother after that event in our family. Our family
reached a new homeostasis quickly after this.
My father is a social butterfly and this opened our family system to multiple people. My
father’s friends are like a part of our family. My father being social has resulted in my brother
and I open to many friendships. As a parent now I want my children to have the family I had,
which is why all of my and my boyfriends friends are their godparents and constantly involved in
their lives.
After talking this class I see how close my family is and how lucky I am to have my
family. My family of origin is still a large part of my life and my children’s life. I appreciate how
unique families are and how every individual plays a large role. I also see how many of the rules
and roles from my family of origin have rolled over into my own family; which after taking this
class I find interesting and makes me feel good.
Elise Schmidt
Family Systems
LP8
4
References
Becvar, D. S., & Becvar, R. J. (1999). Systems Theory and Family Therapy 2e. Oxford:
University Press of America, Inc.
Missouri Department of Social Services. (2007, October). Family Systems Theory. Retrieved
from Missouri Department of Social Services: 2011
Neal, R. (2009, February 29). Personality Traits Linked To Birth Order. Retrieved from CBS
News: http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500172_162-511694.html
Elise Schmidt
Family Systems
LP8
5
Reflection Paper General Instructions and Rubric
Purpose: As a professional Substance Abuse Counselor, potential employers will expect you to be able to
articulate not only how families are impacted by substance abuse but how families operate as a system and how to
evaluate the functioning of a family from a systems perspective. One way of achieving this is to produce a wellwritten and thoughtful reflection paper on the application of Systems Theory to a subject you know well, your
family of origin.
Format: This reflection paper should be 2 - 3 pages long, computer generated, double-spaced and in a 10-12
point Arial font with one-inch margins. Despite the fact that this paper is designed to reflect your thinking process, it
must cite external sources when appropriate as these will help you to develop an informed opinion based on facts
and not biases. Thus, this reflection paper must include a reference page (bibliography) of no less than three sources.
These sources must be legitimate, reputable and fully referenced (i.e. no wikipedia and no blogs). You are to use
APA citation style. Grammar and spelling will count. Do not procrastinate and try to write your reflection paper at
the last minute. This reflection paper is to demonstrate your understanding and engagement with the topic of
Systems Theory as it applies to your family of origin and must be thoughtful and meaningful.
Grading Rubric: The following rubric will be used to evaluate your work.
Reflection Paper
Rubric
Format
Grammar and
Spelling
Organization
Submission
Reflection
Connection to
readings
(assigned and
ones you have
sought on your
own)
Exceeds Standards
5 points
Paper is neatly typed,
double-spaced, 10-12
point regular font, oneinch margins, and 2 - 3
pages in length with a
minimum of five
references.
No errors.
Meets Standards
4 points
Paper is neatly typed,
double-spaced, 10-12
point regular font, oneinch margins and 1.5
pages in length or short
one reference.
Unsatisfactory
3-0 points
Formatting rules ignored,
shorter than 1 page or
missing more than one
reference.
1-2 minor errors.
Well-organized, well
written, easy to read and
understand.
On time with no
resubmissions.
Shows strong evidence of
reasoned reflection and
depth as how family
systems theory applies to
family of origin.
In-depth synthesis of
thoughtfully selected
aspects of readings related
to the topic. Makes clear
connections between what
is learned from readings
and the topic.
Demonstrate further
analysis and insight
resulting from what you
have learned from
reading. Includes
Well-organized but
“flow” could be
improved.
Resubmission for more
points.
Shows evidence of
reasoned reflection.
Lacks basic proofreading
or contains major errors.
Organization lacking and
arguments difficult or
impossible to follow.
Late or several
resubmissions.
Lacks reflection and
depth.
Goes into more detail
explaining some specific
ideas or issues from
readings related to the
topic. Makes general
connections between what
is learned from readings
and the topic. Includes
reference to at least one
reading other than those
assigned for class.
Identify some general
ideas or issues from
readings related to the
topic. Readings are only
those assigned for the
topic or there is little
evidence that required
readings were read.
Score
Elise Schmidt
Family Systems
LP8
6
reference to at least two
readings other than those
assigned for class.
Connection to
class discussions
& course
objectives
Arguments
Original work
Completeness
Synthesize, analyze and
evaluate thoughtfully
selected aspects of ideas
or issues from the class
discussion as they relate
to this topic.
Provides excellent support
for claims.
Work clearly that of the
author and all citations
appropriate and properly
referenced.
Addresses all elements
contained within the
stated objective(s) of
assignment and extends
beyond.
Synthesize clearly some
directly appropriate ideas
or issues from the class
discussion as they relate
to this topic.
Provides support for
claims.
Work that of the author
but relies heavily on cited
sources.
Restate some general
ideas or issues from the
class discussion as they
relate to this topic or does
not incorporate ideas from
discussion.
Relies solely on opinions
or inappropriate sources.
Work relies almost
exclusively on work of
others.
Addresses all elements
contained within the
stated objective(s) of
assignment.
Fails to address all the
elements contained within
the stated objective(s) of
assignment.
Total