CHAPTER 2
Creating
Business
Messages
Instructor Only Version
© 2007 Thomson South-Western
 Audience oriented
 Purposeful
 Economical
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 2
Improving Your
Business Writing
To improve your writing skills, you need
 Good teaching materials with excellent
model documents
 An effective writing
process
 A trainer
 Practice
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 3
The Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 4
The Writing Process
 Prewriting: the 1st phase of the writing process
involves analyzing and anticipating the audience and
then adapting to that audience.
 Writing: the 2nd phase of the writing process includes
researching, organizing the message, and actually
writing it.
 Revising: the 3rd phase of the writing process includes
revising for clarity and readability, proofreading for
errors, and evaluating for effectiveness.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 5
Approximately how much time
should be spent at each stage?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 6
Prewriting
 Analyzing the purpose and the audience
• Identifying your purpose: to inform or to
persuade or to promote goodwill
• Selecting the best channel depends on
importance of the message, the feedback
required, the need of permanent record, the
cost, the degree of formality
• Switching to faster channels
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 7
Factors Determining
Channel Selection
 Importance of message
 Amount and speed of feedback required
 Necessity of a permanent record
 Cost of the channel
 Degree of formality required
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 8
Media Richness
 The extent to which a channel or
medium recreates or represents all the
information available in the original
message.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 9
Factors Affecting
Media Richness
 Speed
 Interactivity
 Verbal and
nonverbal cues
 Everyday
language
 Focus on individual
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 10
Media Richness
 A richer medium, such as face-to-face
conversation, permits more interactivity and
feedback. They enable the sender to provide
more verbal and visual cues, as well as allow the
sender to tailor the message to the audience.
 A leaner medium, such as report or proposal,
presents a flat, one dimension message.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 11
Choosing Communication Channels
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 13
Choosing Communication Channels
(continued)
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 14
Choosing Communication Channels
(concluded)
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 15
E-mail
What channel is
best to announce
decreased
insurance benefits
for 250
employees?

Fax
Letter
Memo

Report
Telephone
Voice Mail
Meeting
Conversation
Discuss any differences with the
suggested answers provided.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Web
Chapter 2, Slide 16
What channel is
best for a sales
message
promoting a new
product to
customers?
What channel is
best for responding
to similar
customer
inquiries?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
E-mail
Fax
Letter

Memo
Report
Telephone

Voice Mail
Meeting
Conversation
Web

Chapter 2, Slide 17
Prewriting
 Analyzing the purpose and the audience
• Identifying your purpose
• Selecting the best channel
• Switching to faster channels
 Anticipating the Audience
• Profiling the audience
• Responding to the profile
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 18
Asking the Right Questions to
Profile Your Audience
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 19
Asking the Right Questions to
Profile Your Audience
(concluded)
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 20
Prewriting
 Analyzing the purpose and the audience
• Identifying your purpose
• Selecting the best channel
• Switching to faster channels
 Anticipating the Audience
• Profiling the audience
• Responding to the profile
 Adapting to the task and audience
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 21
Spotlight
Audience
Benefits
Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Mary Mary
Ellen Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
7e 7e
Chapter
Chapter2,
2,Slide
Slide 22
Spotlight Audience Benefits
Shape your statements to involve the
reader.
Instead of this:
Try this:
We are promoting a
new plan that we
believe has many
outstanding benefits.
You will enjoy total peace
of mind with our
affordable hospitalization
plan that meets all your
needs.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 23
Spotlight
Audience
Benefits
Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Cultivate
A “You”
View
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 24
Cultivate a “You” View
Emphasize second-person pronouns
(you/your) instead of first-person pronouns
(I/we, us, our)
Instead of this:
Try this:
Before we can allow you to
purchase items on this new
account, we must wait two
weeks to verify your credit.
You may begin
making purchases
on your new account
in two weeks.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 25
Create audience benefits and use the
“you view.”
Revise these sentences:
These are better:
Quick
You can now purchase
H-P computers at
Check
discounted prices.
We are now offering
H-P computers at
discounted prices.
We are pleased to
announce that you have
been approved to enroll
in our leadership
training program.
Congratulations! You
have been selected to
enter our leadership
training program!
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 26
Spotlight
Audience
Benefits
Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Sound
Conversational
Mary Mary
Ellen Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
7e 7e
Cultivate
A “You”
View
Chapter
Chapter2,
2,Slide
Slide 27
Sound Conversational
Instead of this:
Try this:
The undersigned takes
pleasure in . . .
I’m happy to . . .
It may be of some concern
to you to learn that your
check has been received
and your account has been
credited for $250.
We’ve credited your
account for $250.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 28
Sound Conversational,
but Professional
 A: Hey, boss, GR8 news! Firewall now
installed! BTW, check with me b4
announcing it.
 B: Mr.Smith, our new firewall software is
now installed. Please check with me
before announcing it.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 29
Sound Conversational,
but Professional
 A: All employees are herewith instructed
to return the appropriately designated
contracts to the undersigned.
 B: Please return your contracts to me.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 30
Levels of Language Use
Unprofessional
Conversational
Formal
Found in
Some comic
strips, and songs,
some
commercials,
some
conversations,
some IM and
e-mail messages
Business
messages, novels,
most newspapers,
and most
magazines
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Scientific writing,
legal documents,
scholarly books,
formal essays,
proclamations
Chapter 2, Slide 31
Unprofessional
Conversational
Formal
Characterized by
Incorrect grammar,
unpredictable
sentence structure,
inappropriate
punctuation, slang,
vulgarisms
Correct grammar
and punctuation,
conversational
tone, simple
sentence structure,
familiar words
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Correct grammar,
serious tone,
complex sentence
structure,
polysyllabic words
Chapter 2, Slide 32
Unprofessional
Conversational
Formal
Examples
Wasted
guts
nab
bad-mouth
dough, bread
stewed,
plastered
I ain’t
humongous
tight
Ruined
nerve
catch
criticize
money
intoxicated,
drunk
I’m not
enormous
frugal
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Annihilated
courage
apprehend
disparage
currency
inebriated
I am not
prodigious
penurious
Chapter 2, Slide 33
Revise to make the tone conversational,
yet professional and concise.
Revise these sentences:
These are better:
We urge you to
Quick
approve the contract
by voting yes.
Check
To facilitate contract
ratification, your negotiators
urge that the membership
respond in the affirmative.
Kindly inform the undersigned
whether or not your
representative will be making
a visitation in the near future.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Please tell me whether
your representative will
be visiting before June
1.
Chapter 2, Slide 34
Spotlight
Audience
Benefits
Employ
Positive
Language
Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Cultivate
A “You”
View
Sound
Conversational
Mary Mary
Ellen Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
7e 7e
Chapter
Chapter2,
2,Slide
Slide 35
Positive Language
 The clarity and tone of message are
considerably improved if you use
positive rather than negative language.
 It creates goodwill and gives more
options to receivers.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 36
Employ Positive Language
Instead of this:
Try this:
Employees may not use the Employees may use
First Street entrance during the Market Street
entrance during
remodeling.
remodeling.
We cannot fill your order
until we receive an exact
model number.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
We can fill your order
once we receive an
exact model number.
Chapter 2, Slide 37
Hidden Messages
Some words and phrases convey a
negative and unpleasant tone. They
may imply a hidden message that the
writer does not intend. Think twice
before using the following negative
expressions.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 38
Negative Language
Hidden Meaning
You overlooked
You are careless
You state that
But I don’t believe you
You failed to
You are careless
You claim that
It’s probably untrue
You are wrong
I am right
You do not understand
You are not very bright
Your delay
You are at fault
You forgot to
You are inefficient and
careless
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 39
State ideas more positively.
Revise these sentences:
These are better:
You will be paid
Quick
promptly once the
Check
job is completed
We must withhold payment
until you complete the job
satisfactorily.
If you fail to follow each
requirement, you will not
receive your $50 rebate.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
satisfactorily.
By following each
requirement, you will
receive your $50
rebate.
Chapter 2, Slide 40
Spotlight
Audience
Benefits
Use
Inclusive
Language
Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Employ
Positive
Language
Mary Mary
Ellen Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
7e 7e
Cultivate
A “You”
View
Sound
Conversational
Chapter
Chapter2,
2,Slide
Slide 41
Inclusive Language
 A business writer who is alert and
empathic will strive to use words that
include rather than exclude people.
 Sensitive communicators avoid
language that excludes people.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 42
Use Inclusive Language
Instead of this:
Try this:
Have you called a
salesman?
Have you called a
salesperson?
Every executive
has his own office.
 All executives have their own
offices.
 Every executive has an office.
 All executives have offices.
 Every executive has his or
her own office.
This alternative is
wordy and calls
attention to itself
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 43
Revise to use inclusive language.
Revise these sentences:
These are better:
Any applicant for the
position of policeman must
submit a medical report
signed by his physician.
Applicants for police
officer positions must
submit medical
reports signed by
their physicians.
All employees are
entitled to see their
personnel files.
Quick
Check
Every employee is entitled
to see his personnel file.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 44
Spotlight
Audience
Benefits
Draw on
Familiar
Words
Adopt
Plain
Language
Cultivate
A “You”
View
Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Use
Inclusive
Language
Sound
Conversational
Use Positive
Language
Mary Mary
Ellen Ellen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
7e 7e
Chapter
Chapter2,
2,Slide
Slide 45
Adopt Plain Language
Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and
inflated language.
Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein addressed
is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or her department
representative submit, to the Department of Labor official
described above, a comment on whether the proposed plan, in his
or her considered view, meets the requirements of the 2003 law.
Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether the
proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2003 law.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 46
Draw on Familiar Words
Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar
words. Use short, simple, and common
words whenever possible.
Less familiar words
Simple alternatives
encounter
extrapolate
obligatory
terminate
meet
project
required
end
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 47
Revise the following sentences using
simpler language.
Please ascertain whether Please find out whether
we must perpetuate our
we must continue our
current contract.
current contract.
Quick
Check
He hypothesized that
stock values would
deteriorate.
He guessed that stock
values would fall.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 48
Revise the following sentences using
simpler language.
Because we cannot
monitor all activities, we
must terminate the
agreement.
I’ll interface with Mark to
access his people.
Because we cannot
check all activities, we
must end the contract.
Quick
Check
I’ll talk with Mark about
using his staff.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e
Chapter 2, Slide 49