PowerPoint Presentation to accompany
Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition
Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal
Conflicts
Presentation prepared by
Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim
Scanlon of West Chester University
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™
is a trademark used herein under license.
For permission to use material from this text, contact us by:
Phone: 1-800-730-2214 Fax: 1-800-730-2215
Web: www.thomsonrights.com
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
CHAPTER 10
Managing
Interpersonal Conflicts
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Managing
Interpersonal Conflicts
• The Nature of Conflict
• Personal Conflict Styles
• Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear
Message Format
• Conflict in Relational Systems
• Variables in Conflict Styles
• Methods of Conflict Resolution
• Win-Win Communication Skills
• Constructive Conflict: Questions and
Answers
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
The Nature of Conflict
Conflict Defined
Conflict is defined as an expressed struggle between
two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible
goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other
party in achieving their goals.
•
•
•
•
•
Expressed Struggle
Perceived Incompatible Goals
Perceived Scarce Rewards
Interdependence
Interference from the Other Party
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
The Nature of Conflict
Conflict is Natural
No matter how close
you are to somebody,
there will be times
when your ideas or
actions or needs
won’t match those of
others around you.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
The Nature of Conflict
Conflict Can be Beneficial
Effective communication during conflict can keep
good relationships strong. People who work
through their conflicts using constructive skills are
more satisfied with their relationships and with the
outcomes of their conflicts.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Personal Conflict Styles
Nonassertive Behavior
Nonassertion - the inability or unwillingness to express
thoughts or feelings in a conflict
• Avoidance: physical or conversational, steering
clear of conflict
• Accommodation: giving in; putting other’s needs
ahead of your own
Direct Aggression
Direct Aggression – expressing a criticism or demand that
threatens the face of the person at whom it is directed.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Personal Conflict Styles
Passive Aggression
Passive Aggression - occurs when a communicator
expresses hostility in an obscure way; “crazymaking”
Indirect Communication
Indirect Communication - a roundabout way of
expressing wants or needs in order to save face
for the recipient.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Personal Conflict Styles
Assertion
Assertion - a clear and direct expression of the sender’s
needs, thoughts, or feelings, without judging or
dictating to others.
Which Style is Best ?
Factors to consider :
1) The Relationship
2) The Situation
3) The Receiver
4) Your Goals
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Assertion Without Aggression:
The Clear Message Format
Behavior
Behavioral Description - an account that refers only to
observable phenomena; behavioral description should be
objective, describing an event without interpreting it
Interpretation
Interpretation - the process of attaching meaning to
behavior; there can be more than one interpretation
attached to a behavior
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Assertion Without Aggression:
The Clear Message Format
Feeling
Feeling – an expression of the emotion you are
experiencing as a result of the other person’s behavior
Consequence
A consequence statement explains what happens as a
result of the behavior you have described, your
interpretation, the ensuing feeling, or all three.
Three types of consequences:
• what happens to you, the speaker
• what happens to the person you’re addressing
• what happens to others
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Assertion Without Aggression:
The Clear Message Format
Intention
Intention Statements can communicate three kinds of
messages:
1) a description of where you stand on an issue
2) requests of others
3) descriptions of how you plan to act in the future.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Assertion Without Aggression:
The Clear Message Format
Using the Clear Message Format
Behavior-interpretation-feeling-consequences-intention
format :
1) The elements may be delivered in mixed order.
2) Word the message to suit your personal style.
3) When appropriate combine two elements in a
single phrase.
4) Take your time delivering the message.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Conflict in Relational Systems
Relational Conflict Style - a pattern of
managing disagreements that develops in a
long-term relationship.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Conflict in Relational Systems
Complementary, Symmetrical,
and Parallel Styles
Complementary Conflict Style - partners use different
but mutually reinforcing behaviors
Symmetrical Conflict Style - both parties use the same
behaviors
Parallel Conflict Style - shifts between complementary
and symmetrical patterns from one issue to another
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Conflict in Relational Systems
Intimate and Aggressive Styles
Nonintimate-Aggressive
Nonintimate-Nonaggressive
Intimate-Aggressive
Intimate-Nonaggressive
Conflict Rituals
Conflict Ritual – unacknowledged but very real patterns
of interlocking behavior
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Variables in Conflict Styles
Gender
Men and women approach
conflict differently.
Culture
The way in which people manage
conflict varies tremendously depending
on their cultural background.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Methods of Conflict Resolution
Win-Lose
Win-lose Problem Solving – one party gets what he or
she wants and the other party comes up short
Lose-Lose
Lose-lose Problem Solving – neither side is satisfied
with the outcome
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Methods of Conflict Resolution
Compromise
Compromise – gives both parties at least some of what
they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals.
Win-Win
Win-win problem solving is an
approach to conflict resolution in
which the parties work together to
satisfy all of their needs and goals.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Win-Win Communication Skills
1) Identify Your Problem and Unmet Needs
2) Make a Date
3) Describe Your Problem and Needs
4) Consider Your Partner’s Point of View
5) Negotiate a Solution
6) Follow Up the Solution
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Constructive Conflict:
Questions and Answers
Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too
Good to be True?
Mutual benefit is not only desirable—it works. Good
intentions and creative thinking can lead to outcomes
that satisfy everyone’s needs.
Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too
Elaborate?
The win-win approach is detailed and highly structured,
but you will not use every step when resolving conflict in
everyday life.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Constructive Conflict:
Questions and Answers
Isn’t Win-Win Negotiating Too Rational?
It may be the most sensible, and
sometimes it may be impossible to
be rational. In these situations, let
your frustrations out, but be sure
your partner understands what
you’re doing and that what ever
you say doesn’t call for a response.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Constructive Conflict:
Questions and Answers
Is it Possible to Change Others?
Show that it’s in your partner’s
self-interest to work together with
you, projecting both the favorable
consequences of cooperating and
the unfavorable consequences of
competing. Also, you can boost the
odds of getting your partner to
cooperate by modeling the
communication skills described in
the book.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.