Adult Attachment, Personality,
and Close Relationships
R. Chris Fraley
Department of Psychology
These overheads can be downloaded as a PowerPoint file at
http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/~rcfraley/p250.ppt
Why Study Intimate Relationships in
Personality Psychology?
•
Close relationships
– Source of joy, strength, and security
– Source of pain, conflict, and sorrow
– Many of the goals that organize peoples’
lives are relational
•
My objectives today:
– Discuss briefly an attachment theoretical
view on intimate relationships
– Review some interesting research that has
been generated from this perspective
Attachment Theory as Applied to InfantCaregiver Relationships
•
•
•
John Bowlby’s (1969/1982) attachment theory:
An ethological approach to the study of infantcaregiver relationships
Attachment behavior and its function
The “attachment behavioral system”: an innate
homeostatic feedback system for regulating
attachment behavior
Is the
caregiver
near, attentive,
responsive, etc.?
Yes
Felt
security,
love,
confidence
Playful, less
inhibited, smiling,
sociable
No
Separation
distress
and anxiety
experienced
Attachment behaviors
are activated to some
degree, ranging from
simple visual monitoring
to intense protest,
clinging, and searching
Adapted from Fraley & Shaver (2000)
Individual Differences in Attachment
Organization
• Normative system with variation
• Ainsworth’s strange situation paradigm
• Three attachment patterns:
– secure
– anxious-resistant
– avoidant
• These differences are thought to be
reflections of the way a child’s attachment
system has become organized in the
context of his or her caregiving
environment.
Individual Differences in Attachment
Organization
Secure
• Seems to believe that parent is likely to be
accessible and responsive. Seems competent,
exploration-oriented, and affectively positive.
Soothes easily. Shows early empathy,
communicates clearly about feelings. Solves
problems effectively. (Theoretically stems from
accessible, sensitive, reliable parental
caregiving.)
Individual Differences in Attachment
Organization
Anxious/ambivalent
• Exhibits more crying and separation anxiety.
Does not seem to be confident that parent will
be accessible and responsive. Vigilance and
preoccupation interferes with exploration.
Attachment behavior has a low threshold for
activation. Seems fussy, angry, immature.
(Theoretically stems from parental anxiety,
insensitivity to child’s signals, intrusiveness,
and inconsistency.)
Individual Differences in Attachment
Organization
Avoidant
• Cries relatively little during separation and
actively avoids parent upon reunion. Engages in
displacement exploratory behavior,
characterized as “[turning] to the neutral world
of things, even though displacement exploratory
behavior is devoid of the true interest of secure
exploration.” (Theoretically stems from
parental rejection and discomfort with close
physical contact.)
Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult
Relationships
•
•
Bowlby (1980) and Weiss (1982) suggested
that the attachment system continues to play a
role in adult relationships.
Shaver, Hazan, and Bradshaw (1988) argued
that romantic love is an attachment process
involving the integration of caregiving, sex, and
attachment.
Parallels with respect to Attachment
Infant-caregiver relationship
Romantic love
When AO is not available, infant is anxious,
preoccupied, and unable to explore freely
When LO acts uninterested or distant,
person becomes anxious, preoccupied,
unable to concentrate
Child desires an exclusive relationship with
AO; siblings or other parent may be viewed
as a threat to the bond
Lovers often desire an exclusive
relationship; acquaintances & former lovers
may be viewed as a threat to the bond
When afraid, distressed, sick, threatened,
etc., infants seek physical contact with AO
When afraid, distressed, sick, threatened,
etc., lovers would like to be held and
comforted by LO
Distress at separation or loss: crying, calling
for AP, trying to find AO, becoming sad and
listless if reunion seems impossible
Distress at separation or loss: crying, calling
for LO, trying to find LO, becoming sad and
listless if reunion seems impossible
Parallels with respect to Caregiving
Infant-caregiver relationship
Romantic love
The AO is sensitive to the infant’s physical
and psychological needs
The LO is sensitive to his or her lover’s
physical and psychological needs
An AO will frequently forsake his or her own
needs and activities in order to protect or
tend to his or her child
A LO may forsake his or her own needs or
plans in order to accommodate those of his
or her lover
An AO will sometimes put his or her life at
risk to protect the well-being of the child
A LO will sometimes sacrifice him- or
herself for the protection of the lover
An AO will feel empathically uneasy or
anxious if the child is at risk, ill, etc.
A LO will feel empathically uneasy or
anxious if lover is at risk, ill, etc.
Parallels with respect to Sexuality
Infant-caregiver relationship
Romantic love
Infant may feed from AO’s breast; nibble or
suck on skin, fingers, kiss
Lovers may “feed” from breasts, nibble on
earlobes, suck on skin (“hickey”), kiss
Infant and AO frequently engage in eye
contact; infant seems fascinated with AO’s
physical features and enjoys touching
nose, ears, hair, etc.
Lovers frequently engage in eye contact
and seem fascinated with each other’s
physical features and like to explore noses,
ears, hair, etc.
Infant coos, “sings,” talks baby talk, etc.;
mother talks a combination of baby talk and
“motherese.” much nonverbal
communication
Lovers coo, sing, talk baby talk, use soft
maternal tones, etc., and much of their
communication is nonverbal
prolonged ventral-ventral contact, sleep in
same bed
prolonged ventral-ventral contact, sleep in
same bed
Mouth-to-Mouth Feeding and
Courtship
Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult
Relationships
•
•
In short, the dynamics of romantic relationships
are theorized to be driven by the same
behavioral systems that drive infant-caregiver
bonds.
This suggests that the same kinds of individual
differences that characterize infants might
characterize adults.
Hazan & Shaver (1987) measure
Read each of the three self-descriptions below (A, B, and C) and then place a
checkmark next to the single alternative that best describes how you feel in romantic
relationships or is nearest to the way you feel. (Note: The terms "close" and
"intimate" refer to psychological or emotional closeness, not necessarily to sexual
intimacy.)
i>clicker
______A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to
trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous
when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I
feel comfortable being.
______B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable
depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being
abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.
______C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often
worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want
to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.
Hazan & Shaver (1987) measure
Read each of the three self-descriptions below (A, B, and C) and then place a
checkmark next to the single alternative that best describes how you feel in romantic
relationships or is nearest to the way you feel. (Note: The terms "close" and
"intimate" refer to psychological or emotional closeness, not necessarily to sexual
intimacy.)
______A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to
trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous
when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I
feel comfortable being. (AVOIDANT)
______B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable
depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being
abandoned or about someone getting too close to me. (SECURE)
______C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often
worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want
to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.
(ANXIOUS)
Attachment Styles
• These different “attachment styles”
are thought to reflect the unique ways
in which people think about or
represent their attachment
experiences.
• Want to know your attachment style?
Try this on-line test:
•
http://www.yourpersonality.net/relstructures/
Attachment Theory as Applied to Adult
Relationships
•
Here are some of the issues we will cover today:
– How is attachment behavior patterned
among adults?
– Attachment and sexual behavior
– Attraction and partner pairing
– The development of attachment styles
How is Attachment Behavior Manifested in
Romantic Relationships?
• Are there parallels between
attachment dynamics in infancy and
attachment dynamics in adults?
• What is needed:
– A situation that is mildly stressful or
likely to activate attachment-related
concerns (like the strange situation)
– A setting amenable to nonobtrusive
observation
Fraley and Shaver Airport Study
The Airport Study: Methods
• Questionnaire
• Observed and coded the behavior of
(a) separating and (b) nonseparating
couples
• 109 couples
• Median age: 33 (16 to 68 years)
• Median relationship length: 3 yrs. (1
month to 43 yrs.)
• 47% married
The Airport Study: Sampling of
Behaviors
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
brief hug
kissed several times before she leaves
eye-to-eye contact
crying
extended hand stretch
waves “good bye”
whispers “I love you” when boarding
watches plane from window
massages thigh
sitting close together
watching game on TV
last person to board plane
intimate kiss
long hug
3
3
2
2
CAREGIVING
4
1
0
N
O
T
S
E
P
A
R
A
T
IN
G
S
E
P
A
R
A
T
IN
G
1
0
N
O
T
S
E
P
A
R
A
T
IN
G
4
3
SEXUALITY
CONTACTSEEKING
4
2
1
0
N
O
T
S
E
P
A
R
A
T
IN
G
S
E
P
A
R
A
T
IN
G
S
E
P
A
R
A
T
IN
G
0 5 10 15
The Airport Study: Variability in
Attachment Behavior
0
1
2
Contact Seeking
3
• Nonetheless, there
is considerable
variability in the
expression of
attachment
behavior.
• People with
avoidant
attachment styles
should exhibit less
attachment
behavior.
4
14
12
10
8
6
4
2
CONTACT SEEKING
SEPARATING
NOT SEPARATING
-2
-1
0
1
AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
2
Do Links Exist between Sexual Behavior
and Attachment Patterns?
• Sexual activity involves some degree
of exploration, novelty, and curiosity.
– According to attachment theory, the
degree to which people liberally
explore their environments is
facilitated by security
• Exploration, of course, also entails
risk, and the defenses people use to
avoid threat may manifest themselves
in the way they think about sexuality.
Unpublished data from Hazan
Unpublished data from Hazan
Psychological Needs
• Sexual behavior can also serve
attachment needs.
• “Make up sex,” for example, is a
means for people to reestablish
proximity and to build a sense of
security following a relationship
conflict.
Motives for sex
Sex for stress
reduction
Sex for self-esteem
Sex for reassurance
Sex for emotional
closeness
Want sex when
insecure
-0.4
-0.2
0
Correlations
anxiety
Data from Davis, Shaver, & Vernon (2004)
0.2
avoidance
0.4
0.6
Attraction and Partner Matching
• In general, people tend to be most
attracted to people with secureseeming qualities.
• If made to choose between insecure
types, people tend to prefer partners
that have attachment styles similar to
their own.
• How does this come to be?
Brumbaugh and Fraley Transference
Study
• People described for us a significant
romantic partner from their past.
• Two weeks later we invited people to the
lab for an unrelated study on dating and
personal ads.
• People read online ads describing two
people
– One that resembled their past partner
– One that resembled another person’s
past partner (yoked control)
• People rated how much they wanted to
date the person and how secure they
thought they would be in a relationship
with the ad person.
Transference Study
• Overall, people tended to relate to the
people in the ads in a way that was
consistent with their prior attachment
style
– People who were secure in the past
felt more secure with the people in
the ads.
– People who were insecure in the
past generally felt more insecure
with the people in the ads.
Transference Study
• Matching effects: People were more
likely to transfer their attachment
styles if there was some degree of
overlap between their past partner
and the person described in the ad
– If secure with past partner,
especially likely to feel secure with
the person in the ad who resembled
the past partner.
– If insecure with past partner,
especially likely to feel insecure
with the person in the ad who
resembled the past partner.
Transference Study
• Overall, people were more interested
in actually dating the people who
resembled their past partner.
• This is an important finding because it
suggests that insecure people, despite
feeling insecure with the person who
resembles their past partner,
nonetheless want to date that person.
• This process may lead people to
recreate and promote insecure
relationship patterns from their past.
How stable are attachment styles from
infancy to adulthood?
•
•
This is one of the big questions in the study of
attachment
– Implications for how we think about the
enduring impact of early experiences,
stability and change, and intervention
Unfortunately, Bowlby was vague regarding the
issue of stability
– On one hand, Bowlby argued that
attachment styles should be open to revision
– On the other hand, Bowlby believed that
early attachment patterns served as the
foundation for subsequent development
How stable are attachment styles from
infancy to adulthood?
•
Meta-analysis is a technique used to combine
results across multiple studies that address a
similar phenomenon.
– All studies containing test-retest data on
attachment between 12 months of age and
subsequent ages were identified (27
samples total)
– Studies classified as belonging to one of five
test-retest intervals: age 1, age 2, age 4, age
6, and age 19
0.8
0.6
0.4
0.2
0.0
Importantly, this degree
of stability is constant
over time.
Continuity
Equivalent to a
correlation of .39.
(60% of people secure
at age 1 are secure at
age 19.)
1.0
Overall, there is a weak
to moderate degree of
stability in attachment
patterns from infancy
forward.
5
10
15
20
Age
Fraley (2002)
Summary
•
Attachment theory is a rich theoretical
framework in which to study some of the
enduring themes of psychology
– development, stability, and change
– mental representation
– psychological growth and psychopathology
– emotions
– the evolution and function of behavior
patterns
– the influence that people have on one
another’s experience
Thank You!