A Psychosocial Model of Adoption Adjustment1
Infancy (Birth to 12 Months)
Erickson’s Psychosocial Tasks: Trust vs. M istrust

Adjusting to transition to a new home.
o
Infant Responses to a New Home.
(Birth to 4 weeks) Little distress
seen. Newborns are focused on
having body needs met and not
attentive to surroundings.
(4-12 weeks) Much distress seen.
Infants can respond to new stimuli in
the environment, but cannot shut it
out when it becomes too much.
(12-24 weeks) Little distress seen.
Babies can respond to more complex
stimuli, modify it as needed, and
adjust better to changes in diet and
environment.
- (6-12 months) Much distress seen.
Babies are grieving for loss of the
primary caretaker to whom
attachment is intense at this age.
o Developing secure attachments, especially
in cases of delayed placement.
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Developmental Effects of Parental Separation/Loss
Short-term effects of parental separation/loss
o
Grief is shown through a regression in dependency (withdrawal, sleeping or eating
problems, uncontrollable crying, etc.)
o
Child’s sense of security and trust for adult availability is undermined.
o
Interruption in the acquisition of basic cause and effect understanding because of
changes in daily routine that accompany changes in caretakers.
Possible long-term effects of the loss
o
If dependency needs are not met, child expects that life owes him.
o
Difficulty ever meeting dependency needs of others.
o
Poor trust.
o
If cause and effect not addressed, learning problems seen at the 4–6 grade level.
Minimizing the effects of the loss
o
Ensuring that new caretakers are available “on demand” for the infant.
o
Gearing all interactions to “What will help this infant learn to trust that adults will be
available?”
o
Transferring routines to the new family setting.
o
Following a consistent routine.
1
Brodzinsky, David; Schechter, Marshall; and Marantz, Robin. Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search For Self, Doubleday, 1992. Enita KearnsHout, Consultant/Trainer, February, 2000 (Developed for The Adoption Exchange, Denver, Colorado). Adapted from Fahlberg, Vera I., A Child’s
Journey Through Placement. Perspectives Press, 1991. Adapted by Laura Williams, June 2002.
ACHIEVING PERMANENCY
Central California Training Academy
Page 8
Handout 8
Toddlerhood and Preschool (Age 12 Months to
5 Years)
Developmental Effects of Parental Separation/Loss
Erickson’s Psychosocial Tasks: Autonomy vs.
Shame and Doubt and Initiative vs. Guilt
Placement-Related Tasks
Need to understand that they were first born to
birth parents who could not take care of them.

Learning about birth and reproduction.
o
Around Age 4, beginning to
understand:
Time and space.
That things happened in the
past about which they have no
memory.
The concept that they may
someday be a mom or dad.
Ask questions about growing
inside “your tummy.”

Adjusting to initial information about
placement.

Enjoy hearing their story told to them;
Encourage caretakers parents to start
talking to children about placement now.

Recognizing differences in physical
appearance, especially in interracial
placement; Do not really comprehend how
these differences came about.
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Toddler Years (1–3)
Short-term effects of parental separation/loss

Disruption of balance between age-appropriate
dependency and independence

Interference in the child’s sense of self (changes in first
name during this period of ego development may be
particularly harmful)

Decreased awareness of both external and internal
stimuli

Regression in terms of most recently acquired skills

Temporary interruption of language acquisition
Possible long-term effects of the loss

Permanent disruption in balance between dependency
and independence; child may grow up to be “victim” or
“victimizer.”

Permanent disruption in ego development may result
in development of “borderline personality.”

A lack of awareness of internal discomfort (that is,
knowing when hungry or full, not being aware of
physical pain, and so forth).

Long-term subtle language problems.

As adults, problems with being rigid, inflexible, and
unable to deal with aggressive impulses.

Long-term problems with interpersonal relationships.
Minimizing the effects of the loss

Preparing for moves

Paying careful attention to meeting child’s
dependency needs while helping child feel more
adequate

Allowing regression to earlier levels of functioning
Pre-School Years (3–6)
Short-term effects of parental separation/loss

Magical thinking about the loss.

Child’s perception that s/he is “bad.”
Long-range effects of the loss

Child’s belief that s/he does not deserve to have good
things happen.

Child’s persistence in misbehaving.

Problems with sexual identity if the child thinks the loss
was a result of his desiring the parent of the opposite
sex all to him/herself.

Difficulty taking responsibility for his own behavior.

Need for external controls.

Difficulty taking nurturing or enjoying the pleasures of
childhood.

Focus on control issues.
Minimizing the effects of the loss

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Identifying, clarifying, and remediating the magical
thinking (particularly important)
Providing adequate opportunities for play (for reduction
of loss)
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Handout 8
Middle Childhood (Early Stage – Ages 6 to 8 Years), (Later Stage – Ages 9 to 12
Years)
Erickson’s Psychosocial Tasks: Industry vs. Inferiority
Experts consider this a good time for adoptive children to have contact with the birth family if available.

By age 6, understanding reproduction – can differentiate between being born and being adopted.

Understanding the meaning and implications of being placed; begin to see “being placed/adopted”
as a negative.
o Coping with peer reactions to placement; want to “belong” and do not like feeling
different due to being placed/adopted; may resist talking about placement/adoption.
o Coping with stigma associated with placement/adoption.
By age 7 or 8, comparing himself to others – can understand “blood relations” and that his family is
different than that of most other children.
o Coping with physical differences from family members.
Expressing anger, hurt and sadness about abandonment – coming to grips with the reality that to
be chosen, first you have to be “un-chosen” – feeling unlovable, unwanted and unworthy.
o Searching for answers regarding origins and reasons for the placement/adoption –
interested in details like if were birth parents married or had other children.
o Begin internal search for answers; may begin to question choices that birth parents
made (i.e., if she didn’t have enough money, why didn’t she get a job?)
o Feeling guilty about what they did that lead to not being kept by birth parents.
o Problem behaviors may appear as they struggle to cope with feelings of grief and
loss.
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May begin to develop “family romance fantasy” (i.e., I must belong to a richer, kinder, family);
difficult to resolve as, unlike birth kids, they DO have another family out there somewhere.

Until age 10 or 11, not fully understanding the legal system – think birth parents can reclaim them.

Feeling confused about their feelings as they are developing the ability to think without using
words.
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Developmental Effects of Parental Separation/Loss

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Short-term effects of parental separation/loss
o
Less energy for tasks
o
Decreased academic performance
o
Decreased energy for peer relationships
o
Confusion about “right” and “wrong”
Possible long-term effects of the loss
o
Long-term problems in either schooling or peer
relationships
o
Problems with internalization of conscience
o
Focus on control issues
Minimizing the effects of the loss
o
Providing child with opportunities to focus on
grieving
o
Identifying values as “this is the way we do it in our
family,” rather than implying that other values are
wrong
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Handout 8
Developmental Effects of Parental Separation/Loss
Adolescence (Ages 13 to 18)
Erickson’s Psychosocial Tasks: Ego Identity vs. Identity Confusion

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Further exploration of the meaning and implications of being adopted; may want to know more
details of how they came to be available for adoption; it’s important to be truthful with teens.

Coping with adoption-related loss on a deeper level, especially as it relates to the sense of self.
Working to connect “being adopted” to one’s sense of identity (i.e., Who am I in relation to my
birth family? In relation to my adoptive family?)

Coping with differences from family of origin.
o Wanting more details about birth parent’s physical appearance.
o Coping with racial identity (in cases of interracial adoption), physical differences and
birth parent characteristics; may “try on” birth parent attributes (i.e., promiscuity, drug
use, etc.) to see if that’s a part of who they are.
o Tending to guard thoughts and not share questions about their origins with parents.
Working to resolve the family romance fantasy.
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Considering the possibility of searching for biological family; may not openly engage adoptive
parents in this step of the search process; important for adoptive parents to know though that the
questions are being asked internally; encourage adoptive parents to look for opportunities to
open the discussion about adoption (i.e., movies, news articles, etc.)

Not uncommon for adopted teens, particularly those with history of abuse & neglect, to be placed
in out-of-home care for a period of time; encourage adoptive parents to stay connected and work
to create lifelong relationships for the teen.

Looking at the original adoption plan in the context of simple solutions.
Short-term effect of parental separation/loss
o
Interruption in tasks of psychological
separation from parent figures who are
consistent in their availability and behaviors
Possible long-term effects of the loss
o
Adolescent becoming suicidal or acting out
in a variety of antisocial ways if he believes
he has lost all control over his life
o
Adolescent becoming totally dependent on
peers to meet all of his need for approval if
a family doesn’t meet his needs
o
Focus on control issues
Minimizing the effects of the loss
o
Providing numerous opportunities for
children to have control over other aspects
of their lives
o
Making children an integral part of decision
making for their futures
o
Providing stable adult role models
Young Adulthood
Erickson’s Psychosocial Tasks: Intimacy vs. Isolation

Further exploration of the implications of adoption as it relates to the growth of self and the development of intimacy.

Further considerations of searching and/or beginning the search.

Adjusting to parenthood in light of the history of one’s relinquishment.

Facing one’s unknown genetic history in the context of the birth of children.

Coping with adoption-related loss.
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Central California Training Academy
Page 11
Handout 8