The “I can” statements for Monday and Tuesday—
1) I can define summary, paraphrase and quoting.
2) I can paraphrase without plagiarizing.
3) I can correctly quote using MLA style.
Class lesson plans for Monday and Tuesday
1) Review note cards and briefly discuss Thursday’s powerpoint.
2) Discuss and take notes on the difference between summary, paraphrase and quotes.
3) Discuss and take notes on when to paraphrase versus when to quote.
4) Look at good and bad examples of paraphrasing.
5) Take notes on how to paraphrase.
6) Judge the validity of two paraphrase samples.
7) Review basics of incorporating quotes.
8) Look at examples of using information correctly.
9) Discuss Works Cited pages and where to find information on them.
PARAPHRASING EXAMPLES
Daniel Kies
Department of English
College of DuPage
Summarizing and Paraphrasing Successfully
Successful and Unsuccessful Examples
The following successful and unsuccessful paraphrases are based on the paragraph below. The first two
paraphrases after the original passage demonstrates two improper ways of handling source material: (1)
word-for-word plagiarism and (2) cut-and-paste plagiarism. Finally, the last example provides a model of
a successful paraphrase. Each paraphrase is followed by an explanation of its strengths or weaknesses.
The Original Paragraph:
The linguistic criticism of Nineteen Eighty-Four has focused primarily on Newspeak as a language and on
Orwell's ideas about the relationship between language and thought. It has largely ignored, however, the
literary language Orwell used in writing Nineteen Eighty-Four. Indeed, the few critical remarks about
Orwell's use of language have generally been negative — sometimes attributing the dull, monotonous, dry
writing style to Orwell's career as a journalist or to the phlegmatic topic of his novel. Irving Howe, for
example, writes that the style of 1984, which many readers take to be drab or uninspired or sweaty, would
have been appreciated by someone like Defoe, since Defoe would have immediately understood how the
pressures of Orwell's subject, like the pressures of his own, demand a gritty and hammering factuality.
The style of 1984 is the style of a man whose commitment to a dreadful vision is at war with the nausea
to which that vision reduces him. So acute is this conflict that delicacies of phrasing or displays of
rhetoric come to seem frivolous — he has no time, he must get it all down. Those who fail to see this, I
am convinced, have succumbed to the pleasant tyrannies of estheticism; they have allowed their fondness
for a cultivated style to blind them to the urgencies of prophetic expression. The last thing Orwell cared
about when he wrote 1984, the last thing he should have cared about, was literature.
I believe those critical responses to Orwell — including Howe's defense of his style — are wrong.
(from "The Uses of Passivity, " Daniel Kies, 229)
Two Unsuccessful Paraphrases:
The underlined words are directly copied from the source.
1. Word-for-word Plagiarism
Notice that the writer has not only "borrowed" the original's
ideas with no acknowledgment, he or she has maintained the
The linguistic criticism of Nineteen
author's method of expression and sentence structure. Even
Eighty-Four focuses mostly on
if the writer had acknowledged the source of these ideas,
Newspeak as a language and on Orwell's
this passage would still be plagiarized because much of its
ideas about language and thought. The
exact wording comes from the original with no quotation
few critical remarks about Orwell's use
marks to indicate that the language is the original's. The
of language have been bad, claiming
example contains repeated use of exact wording and
that his poor writing style was due to
sentence structure without any quotation marks.
Orwell's career as a journalist or the
topic of his novel. Only the critic Irving
Placing quotation marks around all material directly taken
Howe felt that Orwell's style appreciated
from the original would make this paragraph so cluttered as
by someone like Defoe. Kies believes all
to be unreadable. If a writer likes the ideas and the wording
those critics are wrong.
of the original this much, if it is important to the paper, and
if it is stated more concisely in the original than it would be
in a paraphrase or summary, then quote the original. Otherwise, paraphrase.
2. Cut-and-paste Plagiarism
Most critics who discuss the language of
1984 either focus primarily on
Newspeak as a language or Orwell's
ideas about the relationship between
language and thought. The few who
describe the novel's writing style have a
negative reaction. They argue that its
dreary style is a product of Orwell's
career as a journalist or the phlegmatic
topic of his novel. Even one critic's
defense of Orwell's style seems wrong.
In the second example, the "cut-and-paste" plagiarism
example, note the underlined phrases which have been
borrowed from the original and shifted around. The
original's structure has been modified to a certain extent by
the writer, but numerous key phrases have been retained
without quotation marks, and the source has not been
credited.
A Legitimate Paraphrase:
An Example of a Good Paraphrase
In "The Uses of Passivity," Kies argues
that the critic's reactions to Orwell's
writing style in 1984 is wrong. Most
critics charge that the novel's style is dry
and lifeless, attributing this either to
Orwell's career as a journalist or to the
novel's dreary topic. Even one critic's
modest defense of Orwell's style strikes
Kies as weak (229).
In the example of a legitimate paraphrase, the original ideas
and specific language have been documented (by direct
references to the author, by citations to his article, and by
quotation marks where specific language has been used).
Notice too that the original language and structure have been
modified to fit this summary's own purpose.
Notes—How do you paraphrase well?
Next—Have the next two writers paraphrased well?
The original—
Three underappreciated facts should be acknowledged in any attempt to systematically improve academic
achievement at the district level. First, many secondary schools, particularly urban schools that serve
large numbers of high-poverty children, are performing very poorly. The majority of middle school
students in large, northern, industrial cities, such as Baltimore and Philadelphia, graduate from 8th grade
two to three grade levels behind the national average in the major subject areas, then attend high schools
where most of the students drop out. Second, the number and concentration of poorly performing
secondary schools varies by place—some districts have only a few low-performing secondary schools;
other districts, often those heavily populated with poor and minority students, have a high percentage of
low-performing schools. Third, much of this poor performance is either actively created or passively
permitted. It is not simply the result of schools, districts, and states doing the best job they can under
difficult circumstances. Poorly performing middle and high schools and the school districts and states in
which they are located often directly but inadvertently contribute to the low performance of their students
(Balfanz, 1997, in press).
Paraphrase #1—Is this a legitimate paraphrase, or is it plagiarism?
Three facts should be recognized to improve academic achievement at the district level. First, many high
schools, particularly city schools that serve large numbers of high-poverty children, perform very poorly.
Second, the number and concentration of poorly performing secondary schools varies by location--only a
few in some districts, a high percentage in other districts. Third, much of this poor performance is either
actively created or passively allowed. It is not just the result of schools doing the best they can under
challenging circumstances. Poorly performing schools and school districts directly but unconsciously
contribute to the low student performance. (Balfanz, as cited in Balfanz & Mac Iver, 1999).
Paraphrase #2—Is this a legitimate paraphrase, or is it plagiarism?
Balfanz (as cited in Balfanz & Mac Iver, 1999), wrote that many urban schools serving children of
poverty perform “very poorly” (p. 4). He noted that these schools are not equally distributed: some
districts have a few, while other districts—especially those with large numbers of poor and minority
children—have many. He stated that poor student performance was not just a result of uncontrollable
conditions in the districts, but was also attributable to the actions or neglect by policy makers at the
school, district, and state levels.
Let’s check the following site for an evaluation:
http://www2.smumn.edu/deptpages/~tcwritingcenter/FACULTY_RESOURCES/Plargiarism_from_WC.h
tm
Handout: Quoting Others
Contributors:Cristyn Elder, Ehren Pflugfelder, Elizabeth Angeli
Last Edited: 2010-11-30 11:18:58
18 March 2012
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/930/10/
Using the words of others can be tricky business. You typically only want to use a direct quotation in the
following situations: if you’re using that statement as a piece of evidence for your own argument, if
you’re establishing another’s position, or if another person has said something better and more clearly
than you can.
The main problem with using quotations happens when writers assume that the meaning of the
quotation is obvious. Writers who make this mistake believe that their job is done when they’ve chosen a
quotation and inserted it into their text. Quotations need to be taken from their original context and
integrated fully into their new textual surroundings. Every quotation needs to have your own words
appear in the same sentence. Here are some easy to use templates* for doing this type of introduction:
Templates for Introducing Quotations
X states, “__________.”
As the world-famous scholar X explains it, “________.”
As claimed by X, “______.”
In her article _______, X suggests that “_________.”
In X’s perspective, “___________.”
X concurs when she notes, “_______.”
You may have noticed that when the word “that” is used, the comma frequently becomes unnecessary.
This is because the word “that” integrates the quotation with the main clause of your sentence (instead of
creating an independent and dependent clause).
Now that you’ve successfully used the quotation in your sentence, it’s time to explain what that
quotations means—either in a general sense or in the context of your argument. Here are some
templates for explaining quotations:
Templates for Explaining Quotations
In other words, X asserts __________.
In arguing this claim, X argues that __________.
X is insisting that _________.
What X really means is that ____________.
The basis of X’s argument is that ___________.
Various incorporations of a source
MLA Citation Examples from http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/930/08/
Original passage from page 248 of Ashley Montagu’s book, The American Way of Life:
To be human is to weep. The human species is the only one in the whole world of animate nature that
sheds tears. The trained inability of any human being to weep is a lessening of his capacity to be human –
a defect that usually goes deeper than the mere inability to cry. And this, among other things, is what
American parents – with the best intentions in the world – have achieved for the American male. It is
very sad. If we feel like it, let us all have a good cry – and clear our minds of those cobwebs of confusion,
which have for so long prevented us from understanding the ineluctable necessity of crying.
Now look at the various ways you can use the opinion expressed in the passage.
Montagu claims that American men have a diminished capacity to be human because they have been
trained by their culture not to cry (248).
In his book The American Way of Life, Ashley Montagu writes, “The trained inability of any human being
to weep is a lessening of his capacity to be human – a defect which usually goes deeper than the mere
inability to cry” (248).
According to Montagu, “To be human is to weep” (248).
“If we feel like it,” writes Montagu, “let us have a good cry – and clear our minds of those cobwebs of
confusion which have for so long prevented us from understanding the intellectual necessity of crying”
(248).
One distinguished anthropologist calls the American male’s reluctance to cry “a lessening of his capacity
to be human” (Montagu 248).
Montagu finds it “very sad” that American men have a “trained inability” to shed tears (248).
When my grandfather died, all the members of my family – men and women alike – wept openly. We
have never been ashamed to cry. As Montagu writes, “to be human is to weep” (248). I am sure we are
more human, and in better mental and physical health, because we are able to express our feelings without
artificial restraints.
Montagu argues that it is both unnatural and harmful for American males not to cry:
To be human is to weep. The human species is the only one in the whole world of animate nature
that sheds tears. The trained inability of any human being to weep is a lessening of his capacity
to be human – a defect that usually goes deeper than the mere inability to cry…. It is very sad.
(248)
What problems do you find in this essay? Label them as you read.
Sports are Basic to Humanity
I agree with Michael Novek that sports are more about beauty and physical prowess than about
the debasing standards of our society. He makes the claim that people who don’t appreciate sporting
activities are missing the point and missing out on some of the most basic parts of humanity. These
people are not really understanding what it means to be a human being, because they fail to get the point
of sports. The point of sports is to compete in victorious battle and win against an opponent and to act in
ways that prove sports are a beautiful act of nature.
Sports are all about the most basic urges of our species. Human beings are competitive by nature,
and as such, have developed competitive games that represent these natures. Ever since cavemen threw
spears at animals, and ever since they determined which caveman could throw a spear the furthest, people
have been obsessed with direct competition. To deny that people are competitive is to deny the very thing
that makes us human. Sports are all about facing off against your opponent and beating them in a game
that is both fair and aggressive. All people understand how important it is to face off in a competitive
challenge sometime in their life: whether it be a chess match or a football game, people all around the
world understand the basic drive for competition. Novek says: “are rituals concerning human survival on
this planet” and he is right (Novek 45). Sports are about our most basic desires as human being and we
express those desires everytime a person throws a basketball or blocks an opponent. “We explain
ourselves through sports” and the language of sports, so we constantly express how important sporting
activities are to our everyday comprehension of self, subjectivity, and harmonious intertextuality.
Of course, sports and games are also more than just running around and trying to beat other
people. We also think of sports as more like an art form where our more noble elements come into play
against each other. People often claim that sports bring out the best in athletes and that athletic
competition is a lot like ballet or artistic expression. Just because competitive sports can be loathsome,
doesn’t mean that it can’t also be beautiful. We value sports for the way that people jump and run, nit
only for the physical aptitude that occurs. “Those who have contempt for sports, our serious citizens, are
a danger to the human race, ants among men, drones in the honeycomb.” Novek is right in suggesting
this point as well. People are more than worker bees, at least those that participate or love sporting
activities are.
Because sports are part of the artistic experience of being human, we value them; they show us
what it is like to operate at our artistic best. Lynn Swann of the Pittsburgh Steelers was not only a gifted
athlete, but also a ballet dancer for nearly nine years at the near-professional skill level, and he claimed
that ballet dancing helped him compete in football in a more complete way; ballet made him better at
football because it was similar physically. Ballet is an art much like football is an art, and anyone who
suggests that all sports are corrupt or barbaric doesn’t know that half of it. As Richard Hinterson says in
his article on the same topic, sports are like the best of what has been thought and said. His essay is about
how competition is beautiful and much like a coherent conflict that imitates the resonance human beings
embody when achieving subjectivity. Sports are an important part of human expression. Sports aren’t
deficient in humanity, they are “full of humanity.”
Thirdly, sports are much more than everyday activities, because those who participate in sports,
from the junior varsity soccer player to the starting tight end for an NFL team, are similar in another way.
People who participate in sports are really “playing God” for a short time. They control the destiny of a
team, or at least themselves, in something that is supposed to be worth more than themselves. Sports are
symbolic of how people interact in a lot of ways, and because of this, they show us the original genetic
nature of homo sapiens. Like Hinterson argues, we talk about sports constantly because they represent
how each and every one of us performs art and competes in battle, in smaller ways, every day of our
lives. We look up to professional athletes because they succeed in ways that are more obvious and
covered by the media than the ways that we succeed—they play Gods for a short time and we look at
them as gods because if it. Hinterson, in his forth chapter, basically claims that we have this same drive,
this internal fabrication from which we fulfill our manifest desires toward the ubermensch.
People should respect sports because they represent everyday life in a number of ways. “Sports
give voice to our conflicts,” our basic emotions and our desire to see people play God (59). Instead of
being more refined than the rest of us who play sports, those individuals who hate sports are deficient in
being human because they don’t understand that sports can express a number of very human virtues.
Works Cited
Novek, Michael. "Sports and our Drive for Distance." New York: Capstone Publishing.