4/21/11
Thesis makes no claim
 Subject linked to the intention to write about
it, but without a claim
 Even if altered, the thesis still may not need
to be defended or argued
Example:
I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with
evolution in The Origin of Species
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Raise specific issues for the essay to explore
Example:
Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in
The Origin of Species initially leads him to
neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his
theory of evolution – survival as a matter of
interdependence.
The thesis is obviously true or is a statement
of fact
 A thesis needs to be an assertion with which
it would be possible for readers to disagree.
 Therefore, universally accepted claims, or
statements that are generally accepted as
true will not make a good thesis statement.
Example:
The jean industry targets its advertisements to
appeal to young adults.
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Find some avenue of inquiry – a question
about the facts or an issue raised by them.
Make an assertion with which it would be
possible for readers to disagree.
Example:
By inventing new terms, such as “loose fit” and
“relaxed fit,” the jean industry has attempted to
normalize, even glorify, its product for an older
and more obese generation.
The thesis restates conventional wisdom
 Conventional wisdom is like a cultural cliché
 These are ideas that have, overtime, become
trite.
 They are generally culturally “approved”
Example:
An important part of one’s college education is
learning to better understand others’ points of
view.
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Seek to complicate, or see more than one point
of view on, your subject. Avoid conventional
wisdom unless you can introduce a fresh
perspective on it.
Example:
While an important part of one’s college education
is learning to better understand others’ points of
view, a persistent danger is that the students will
simply be required to substitute the teacher’s
answers for the ones they grew up uncritically
believing.
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Bases its claim on personal conviction
Avoid simply approval or disapproval
Don’t judge or testify to their worth, but
rather, evaluate them analytically
Need to be able to think from multiple
perspectives if you are going to have the
ability to defend your argument against
challenges
Example:
Although I agree with Jeane Kirkpatrick’s argument
that environmentalists and business should work
together to ensure the ecological future of the
world, and that this cooperation is beneficial for
both sides, the indisputable fact is that
environmental considerations should always be a
part of any decision that is made. Any individual, if
he looks deeply enough into his soul, knows what
is right and what is wrong. The environment
should be protected because it is the right thing to
do not because someone is forcing you to do it.
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Try other points of view honestly and
dispassionately; treat your ideas as
hypotheses to be tested rather then inherent
truths.
One way is to replace opinions (in the form of
self-evident truths) with ideas or theories
about the meaning and significance of the
subjects that are capable of being supported
and qualified
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Although I agree with Jeane Kirkpatrick’s
argument that environmentalists and
businesses should work together to ensure
the ecological future of the world, her
argument undervalues the necessity of
pressuring businesses to attend to
environmental concerns that may not benefit
them in the short run
Makes an overly broad claim
 Overly generalized thesis avoid complexity
 Do not use “both positive and negative” type
statements
Example:
Othello is a play about love and jealousy
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Convert broad categories and generic claims
to more specific, more qualified assertions
Find new ways to bring out the complexity of
your subject
Example
Although Othello appears to attack jealousy, it
also supports the skepticism of the jealous
characters over the naïveté of the lovers.