Pastor Stephen Harvell
Love of Christ Church
May 11, 2014
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: What it Means to Me
Part 3, “Hassle-Free Homes” series
Happy Mother’s Day!
Last week I shared how the husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up
for her. I gave 5 clear examples from Scripture of how a husband is to love his wife. He is to: 1) daily
cherish, 2) tenderly communicate, 3) thoughtfully respect, 4) voluntarily submit, and 5) personally
sacrifice. I said a couple of important truths: First, these principles apply, not only to husbands, but also
to wives. And second, they are goals we both strive for but realize we are imperfect and need
forgiveness when we miss the mark. Likewise, today as I share how a wife can respect her husband,
these principles apply to both husbands and wives. Just as last week’s title was linked to the classic
song, “When a Man Loves a Woman,” the title of this week’s message is also tied to a great song. How
many know who originally sung the song, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”?
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T" was written and originally released by Otis Redding in 1965. The song became a
1967 hit and signature song for R&B singer Aretha Franklin. The music in the two versions is
significantly different, and through a few minor changes in the lyrics, the stories told by the songs have
a different flavor. Redding's version is a desperate plea from a man, who will give his woman anything
she wants. He won't care if she does him wrong, as long as he gets his due respect when he comes
home. Franklin's version, however, is a declaration from a strong, confident woman, who knows that
she has everything her man wants. She never does him wrong, and demands his "respect." This
climactic break near the end of the song contains new lyrics and powerful new, soon-famous
hooks: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me.”
Within this key line of the song is a challenge to everyone one of us who want an amazing marriage
and a hassle-free home. We need to find out what respect means, or even just as important, how
we may be showing disrespect within our family, so we can change.
I.
Why Should a Wife Respect Her Husband?
1. Respect Has Power to Glue Marriages Together
“‘… a man will leave his father and mother and be united [glued, fastened together] to his wife, and the
two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect
her husband.” (Ephesians 5:31–33)
Example of contact cement. God’s glue for marriage is made up of two ingredients.
Unconditional love & respect is the supernatural glue
God uses to fasten marriages together for a lifetime.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: What it Means to Me
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Pastor Stephen Harvell
Love of Christ Church
May 11, 2014
2. Respect Has Power to Make a Wife Beautiful
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of
gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a
gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of
the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to
their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her
daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1 Peter 3:3–6)
Submissive respect has supernatural power to change the way a man sees his wife. She becomes
beautiful in his eyes and other women lose their sexual temptation to him. His heart so desires to be
respected, it produces in him unconditional love and sexual attraction to his wife. While the world will
try to convince women to flaunt their sexuality in their outward appearance, God has designed man to
respond to the supernatural beauty of submission and respect.
3. Respect Has Power to Win a Husband’s Heart
“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the
word, they may be won over without words by the behavior [way of life] of their wives, when they see
the purity [free from sin, good will] and reverence [fear of the Lord] of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1–2)
When a woman shows reverence to the Lord and demonstrates unconditional respect to her husband,
it opens his heart to be drawn to an overwhelming love, which gives him the desire to lay down his life
for his wife. This reverses the conflict cycle and starts a reward cycle that produces a life-giving
relationship. It also opens the husband’s heart to understand the love God has for him in giving His only
son and will urge him to surrender to the Lordship of Jesus.
II.
How Can a Wife Show Respect?
Praise Whatever is Positive
“… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”
(Philippians 4:8)
“… the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45)
“The tongue has the power of life and death…” (Proverbs 18:21)
Respect is something that is demonstrated. This is especially seen through our words to each other. We
should be careful with our words in private and even more so in public. Whenever a wife gives her
husband praise, it goes a long way in filling his respect tank. We know men will seek power and fame all to
hear words of praise from the world. How much more do they need to hear praise from their wives? When
my wife tells me I am her hero, it gives me faith to accomplish more. It also produces a deeper love in my
heart for her and a passion to do everything I can to please her.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: What it Means to Me
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Pastor Stephen Harvell
Love of Christ Church
May 11, 2014
Example: Pigeon turning in cage!
Challenge: Go one week without thinking negatively or criticizing your family members. Think
positive, look for it & speak it aloud to them.
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