What I’ve Learned from Men
by Barbara Ehrenreich
Building vocabulary
1.
Understanding the writer’s ideas
1. That men are of little use for the
serious things of life—although the
message is offered wryly rather than in
anger or self-righteousness.
Understanding the writer’s ideas
2. The “tough” guy has “an aura of power and control”
(par. 6), is assertive and aggressive (par. 4), claims
his achievements (par. 6), keeps a poker face (par. 7),
keeps silent when he wishes (par. 9), knows how to
get mad (par. 11), and of course has magical effect
on waiters. The ladylike woman is servile and
committed to being nice (par. 4), has her on-cue
smile ready for all occasions (par. 4), simpers in tight
spots (par. 5), is self-deprecating (par. 6), chatters
(par. 8), gets irritated rather than angry (par. 11), and
of course is invisible to waiters.
Understanding the writer’s ideas
3. To show that ladylikeness infects
most women, even well-known and
“full-grown” (par. 3) feminists.
4. Because women associate their own
exercise of power with selfishness and
destructiveness (par. 6).
Understanding the writer’s ideas
5. (should stop doing) Unnecessary smiling (par. 7)
and being the ones responsible to keep conversation
going. (why?) Because these acts of deference make
it appear the other party has the “power advantage”
(par. 8).
(should start doing) Women should take credit
where credit is due (par. 10) and learn to show anger
(par. 11). (why?) Because taking credit tells others
you are confident, and intend to continue to succeed
(par. 10); because diverting anger into a minor key is
weak.
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
1. The tone is argumentative, mocking
and iconoclastic but in a light almost
amused vein. The opening clause of the
first sentence, with its possibility of high
seriousness, is deflated by the clause
which follows the colon. We are thus led
to expect a debunking attitude toward
men, and toward relations between men
and women. (continues)
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
1. (continues) The view of men as
performers of “conversational
euthanasia” or as oblivious slobs
reinforces the attitude established in the
opening sentence. Similarly, the
surprise of what the writer expects
women to learn is again consonant with
the opening tone of the essay.
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
2. To allow the debunking tone of the
first two paragraphs to prepare the
ground for the writer’s thesis, increasing
the effect of surprise and assuring the
emotional consent of her reader (or of
her women readers) for her main
argument.
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
3. (3 & 4): By picking up the notion of “lady”
that ends par. 3 in the first few words of par. 4,
which defines “ladylikeness.”
(4 & 5): By contrasting “wimps” (the last word
of par. 4) and “macho stars.”
(6 & &): By using “So” to signal a casual
summing up of what came before, and then
restating the thesis (“We might as well get a
little tougher”).
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
4. As a feminist psychiatrist, Miller can
speak with authority about women’s
psychology. Ehrenreich can therefore
use Miller’s insights to illuminate the
meaning of certain “standard”
behaviors of women, as well as to
support remedial strategies.
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
5. The informality reinforces the
debunking tone of the essay, whereas
the formal usage establishes a
professional authority. The essay
appeared in MS. And was intended,
therefore, for a fairly general, “popular”
audience.
Understanding the writer’s
techniques
6. To show through personal example
how life could be different if only women
were to get tough—thus clinching her
thesis.