Conflict Resolution
MS. GRIGSBY
Conflict Resolution
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What is conflict?
 a serious disagreement between people with
opposing viewpoints
 To clash or have a quarrel
Conflict Response Style
 Conflict Avoidance - this person choses to avoid any
disagreements (even if this means never speaking up
for themselves)
 Conflict Confrontation - this person may use
confrontation to handle a disagreement
 Conflict Resolution - this person handles conflict by
using conflict resolution skills ( steps to handle
conflict in a responsible manner)
What style is this?
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 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f2yRvMMacE&
sns=em
 http://youtu.be/_ZpDnXYIFjo
What are they thinking?
How do you handle conflict
 How do you respond to conflict?
 What emotion are you usually feeling?
 Do you notice a pattern with your conflict?
 When should you avoid conflict?
Conflict Triggers
 Unmet expectations
 Disagreement
 Pressure
 Differences in beliefs
Warning signs of conflict
 Disagreement
 Strong Emotions
 Dirty Looks
 Name calling or insults
 Others taking sides
 Gestures
 The silent treatment
 Raised Voices
Common results of conflict
 Competition
 Tension
 Violence
 Destruction
 Pain
 Anger
 Anxiety
 Bullying
Definitions
 Collaborate- to work together
 Compromise- each person agrees to give up
something that they would like to reach a solution in
which everyone is happy
 Mediation- using another neutral person to help
reach a solution when having a disagreement
 Negotiation- Talking directly to a person to resolve a
conflict
 WIN-WIN- negotiating a solution where each person
feels like they won
What if?
 You and your sister are watching TV when she
decides to change the channel to watch what she
wants. You ask her to change the channel back but
she refuses.
 How would you react?
 How could you turn this into a WIN-WIN Solution
Outcomes of poor conflict resolution
 Assault
 Break Laws
 Disappointment
 Disrespect
 Fighting
 Guilt
 Punishment
 Resentment
 Suspension
 Threatens Safety
What prevents conflict resolution?
 Name calling
 Sarcasm/Ridicule
 Insulting
 Threatening
 Blaming
 Inflexibility
 Defensive body posturing/language
Is Fighting appropriate for conflict
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 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrM1Nw2QcDw
&sns=em
Handling Conflict
What works?
What doesn’t work
 Avoid situations that
 Aggressive behavior
cause conflict
 Calmly expressing your
feelings
 Finding a mediator
 Take responsibility
 Hitting
 Name Calling
 Screaming
Conflict Escalator
I- Messages
 I feel_______________________
 When you___________________
 Next time____________________
Active Listening
 Look at the person speaking
 Maintain an open mind
 Pay attention
 Ask questions
 Repeat what the speaker says
 Listen for the feelings of the speaker
 Don’t: Interrupt, change the subject, make up your
mind before the person finishes speaking
Positive ways to handle conflict
 Remain Calm
 Define the problem
 Use “I” Messages to explain your own concerns,
needs and basic goals
 Use reflective listening to hear and acknowledge the
other’s needs and basic goals
 Evaluate exactly what each of your actual needs are
with the problem. List needs.
 Identify all possible solutions
What makes conflict good?
 It is an opportunity to learn about yourself and
others
 It helps you grow and mature
 In it increases communication
 It raises issues that need to be worked out
Steps to Positive Decision Making
 Step 1: Identify the problem
 Step 2: Look at all the choices you can make in terms
of a course of action
 Step 3: Consider the pro’s and con’s of each of your
options
 Step 4: Choose a course of action and act upon it
 Step 5: Evaluate the results
What would the world look like if
everyone handled conflict in a
positive way?
Sources
 Bronson, M. (2007). Glencoe health. New York City:
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Glencoe/McGraw-Hill.
Kampwirth, T. J., & Powers, K. M. (2012). Collaborative
consultation in the schools, effective practices for
students with learning and behavior problems. Pearson
College Div.
Kreidler, W. (1997). Conflict resolution in middle school.
New York: Educators for Social Responsibility.
Kreidler, W., & Poliner, R. (1999). Conflict resolution in
the middle school. Cambridge:
Trolley, B. C., Haas, H. S., & Campese Patti, D. (2009).
The School Counselors Guide to Special Education. New
York: Skyhorse Publishing.