EXCELLENT … VIRTUOUS … VALOROUS
RARE … UNCOMMON … EXCEPTIONAL
TRUSTWORTHY … LOYAL …PURE
The
Excellent
Wife
DEPENDABLE … DEVOTED … DIGNIFIED
of Proverbs 31
INDUSTRIOUS … BENEVOLENT … FRUGILE
FIT … KIND … WISE … HONORABLE
READY … WORTHY … GOD-FEARING
BEAUTIFUL IN GOD’S EYES
The Proverbs 31 Wife
• Advice from a mother to her son
– To a young king, on how to rule
– Lemuel = “consecrated to the Lord”
– Possibly Bathsheba to Solomon
• Not a man’s standards, but a woman’s
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For men: qualities to look for in a mate
For husbands: what to expect of your wife
For women: how to be a godly wife
For wives: what God and husbands expect of you
The Challenge: Rarity
An excellent wife is hard to find, but worth the wait!
Hebrew word chayil means valor
Her worth is
greater than jewels,
rubies, pearls, coral…
Behavior & Qualities of the Excellent Wife
• Trustworthy with money (v 11)
• Does good, not evil, to him (v12)
– Supports him, does not undermine him
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Willing to work, not lazy (v13)
Frugile & diverse spender (v 14)
Knows the value of good meals (v 15)
Wise investor (v 16)
Physically fit (v 17)
Always on duty (v18)
– Doesn’t have time for gossip
Behavior & Qualities of the Excellent Wife
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Willing to do manual labor (19)
Charitable to the needy (20)
Knows how to dress the family (21)
Cares about her appearance (22)
Brings honor to her husband (23)
Respected in business matters (24)
Dignified, confident (25)
Wise & gentle (26)
Puts family first (27)
Results of Her Behavior
• Children & husband praise her
(v 28)
– Better than other noble daughters
(v 29)
• Praised because she fears God
(v 30)
– She is beautiful in God’s sight!
• She deserves the fruit of her
labors (v 31)
When we examine this ancient biblical ideal of womanhood, we do
not find the stereotyped housewife occupied with dirty dishes and
laundry, her daily life dictated by the demands of her husband and her
children. Nor do we find a hardened, overly ambitious career woman
who leaves her family to fend for itself.
What we find is a strong, dignified, multitalented, caring woman
who is an individual in her own right. This woman has money to invest,
servants to look after and real estate to manage. She is her husband’s
partner, and she is completely trusted with the responsibility for their
lands, property and goods.
She has the business skills to buy and sell in the market, along with
the heartfelt sensitivity and compassion to care for and fulfill the needs
of people who are less fortunate. Cheerfully and energetically she
tackles the challenges each day brings. Her husband and children love
and respect her for her kind, generous and caring nature.
But with all her responsibilities, first and foremost, she looks to
God. Her primary concern is God’s will in her life. She is a woman
after God’s own heart.
New Testament Instructions for Wives
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Abstain from immorality (1 Cor. 7:2)
Fulfill duties to husband (1 Cor. 7:3)
Submit body to husband (1 Cor. 7:4)
Exercise authority over husband’s body (1 Cor. 7:4)
Not leave her husband (1 Cor. 7:10, 13)
Be an example to husband & children (1 Cor. 7:14; 1 Pet. 3:1)
Respect chain of authority (1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5:23)
Subject herself in church (1 Cor. 14:34-35; 1 Tim. 2:11-12)
Be subject to husband (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18)
Respect her husband (Eph. 5:33)
Dress modestly (1 Tim. 2:9)
Perform good works (1 Tim. 2:10)
New Testament Instructions for Wives
• “faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint” (1 Tim. 2:15)
• “dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all
things” (1 Tim. 3:11)
• “reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to
much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage
the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their
own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored”
(Titus 2:3-5)
• 1 Pet. 3:1-6
• The excellent wife will also do everything she can to support and
enable her husband who desires to be an elder, deacon, or
evangelist, or teacher!
A Lofty Standard…Some Examples
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Sarah (1 Pet. 3:1-6) – submitted
Jael (Judges 5:24) – brave
Ruth (Ruth 3:11) – reputation
Esther (Esther 2:17) – pure
Hannah (Judges 1) – God-fearing
Mary (Luke 1:48) – humble
Tabitha (Acts 9:36) – charitable
Lydia (Acts 16:14) – worshiped God
Final thoughts…
• Beside every godly man should be a godly woman
• Men: be selective in choosing a mate
– Don’t settle for the first pretty face!
– Consider her past and present, and your future with her
• Women: be excellent so you will be selected
– Uphold God’s standard in the man you choose too
• For the married: both must be excellent to maintain
godliness in the marriage – if there is a secret to a happy
marriage, this is it!
– Easier to be an excellent spouse when you have an excellent spouse
– Failure of one to be excellent doesn’t justify failure of the other
EXCELLENT … VIRTUOUS … VALOROUS
RARE … UNCOMMON … EXCEPTIONAL
TRUSTWORTHY … LOYAL …PURE
The
Excellent
Wife
DEPENDABLE … DEVOTED … DIGNIFIED
of Proverbs 31
INDUSTRIOUS … BENEVOLENT … FRUGILE
FIT … KIND … WISE … HONORABLE
READY … WORTHY … GOD-FEARING
BEAUTIFUL IN GOD’S EYES