ENC 1102 Hybrid Day 8 – Global revision [M 2-6] Goals: Students will review their drafts and identify areas in need of revision and development What’s the old-before-new principle? (p. 580) General idea is that readers understand better when what they already know introduces what they need to learn. Works at a lot of levels (like class intro: old concepts first). The idea is that the reader can only hold so much in short-term memory — can only pay attention to so much at once. The reader is always trying to connect what they’re reading now to what they’ve read already in the piece. So if you list a bunch of new information -What does your book call the old before new contract? Don’t ask this. Just mention it. -More specific. Using old-new principle in your sentences. Examples on p.606 (just read first two sentences of A and B) Point before particular? (p. 601) Why? (helps reader make meaning out of particulars. They know what to do with the particulars when they read them. Like old-new principle in that sense – old info tells us what to do with new info – but not identical, since the point is no “older” than the particular (at least until you make it that way by putting it first). Often you’ll find you put the particulars before the point and need to revise. Most of us think from particulars to points, particular to general, but that doesn’t mean it’s easier to follow writing that’s organized that way. ) Part I. Annotation Review: What does it mean to annotate? You’re trying to label each paragraph in your essay to figure out (a) what it says and (b) what it does. What’s the difference? Begin by underlining your thesis. Then, spend the next 5-10 minutes annotating your drafts by writing brief notes in the margins describing the purpose of each paragraph (e.g., “identifying opposing views” or “developing reason #1”). TRY TO ANNOTATE WITH COMPLETE SENTENCES. Part II. Unity and Coherence When you were annotating, did you notice any paragraphs that seemed to have more than one purpose? This is often a sign that a paragraph can be split up into two or more paragraphs in order to address each point more thoroughly and independently. Each paragraph should be UNIFIED. Next, look at the transitions between paragraphs. How does one paragraph lead logically to the next? Is there something in the first sentence of one paragraph that makes reference to the previous paragraph? If you see places where this is missing, try to draft a sentence or two to create a stronger transition. This will lead to a greater sense of COHERENCE, which is often what people mean when they talk about how a paper “flows.” Part III. Incorporating Support Are there any places where you could offer more direct quotes as support for your points. Are there any points that still feel underdeveloped? Don’t expect readers to know what you mean. Really spell it out for your audience. Part IV. Plan for next class Journal: Review the assignment sheet on Moodle and, using the grading criteria as a checklist, write a plan for what you will need to revise. REVIEW HW