Understanding the Early Teens
St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church, Washington, D.C.
Parents & Servants – March 20, 2009
Yousry Armanios, M.D.
YARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COM
614-327-8289 (M)

Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth,
Before the difficult days come,
And the years draw near when you say,
“ I have no pleasure in them”
(Ecclesiastes 12:1)

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As Parents
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As Educators
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As Church Servants

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Developmental Stages
Characteristics or Features
Different Needs
Different Expectations
Different Tasks
Different Challenges
Different Approaches

Nature & Nurture
1. Nature
The Genetic Element:
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How Much Do We Inherit?
Personal Differences
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Behavioral Impact
Health Factors

Nature & Nurture
2. Nurture
Exposure to:
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Parents
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Family
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Media
School
Peers
Friends
Church

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Major Events: Early Life Trauma
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How Have They Been Raised?
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Ranking
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Role Modeling

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Pressures from Inside
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Pressures from Outside

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1.
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3.
Teen Turmoil: The Change!
Puberty: Fast Physical Growth
Puberty: Sexual Maturity
Detachment from Family
Personality Issues:
Stumbling with Identity
Conflicts with Self-Image
Perception: Adults or Children?!

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Lack of or Distorted Parenting
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Lack of Healthy Sexual Education
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Exposure to Peer Pressure
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Exposure to Media

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Increasing Role of Friends & Peers
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Experimenting & Risk-Taking
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Understanding a “Relationship”
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Life is still a sort of “Fun”!

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Let us have fun!
It’s Cool!
It feels good!
Are you chicken?
Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you.
Just enjoy it!

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They all do it!
It’s the North American way
Just try it once!
You’re big enough!
No one will know
Dad, Mom: You don’t understand!

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Avoiding Reality
Confusing Reality with Virtuality
Following the Majority
Following the Trend or the Fashion
Technology: the New Small World
Confusing Freedom & Responsibility
The Deception of “Love & Sex”!

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Virtuality & Reality
Communication 20 Years Ago
Communication Now:

How Do They Communicate Now?
Cell Phone; iPhone; Blackberry
The Internet; Email
Chat Rooms;
Instant Messages;
Text Messages;
Video Clips

How Do They Communicate Now?
My Space; Face Book
U-Tube;
Palm Pilot; iPod;
Hi-Pixel Photography;
Web Cam;
E-Games…

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The change from child to adult is an especially dangerous time for adolescents.
From their earliest years, children watch television shows that stimulate sorts of gratification that can destroy their future.

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Later, they become involved with Hi-
Tec devices that carry strong mixed messages
Teenagers are at risk from this sort of mass-market encouragement besides pressures from peers.

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From the book: Epidemic: How Teen Sex
is Killing Our Kids, by Meg Meeker, M.D.
In 1950, we had 2 sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In 2005, we had 80!
Each day, 9000 teens will become infected with a new STD.
The number of teens who have STDs but do not know it (because they have no symptoms) probably exceeds those whose diseases have been diagnosed.

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Statistics about pornography are even worse:
Pornography is a 13-billion-dollar/year business.
There are 4.2 million internet porn sites,
300,000 of them are about children or young teens.
Porn sites are hit 42 million times a day!
At any time, on the internet there are
40,000 child sexual abusers surfing the web looking for victims

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Teens may feel safe because they can remain anonymous while looking for
Internet information on sex. Sexual predators know this and manipulate young people into online relationships and, later, set up a time and place to meet.
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Girls who watched more than 14 hours of rap music videos per week were more likely to have multiple sex partners and to be diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease

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Teens don't need a sexual predator to introduce them to online pornography.
It comes to them through porn spam on their e-mail or by inadvertently clicking on a link to a porn site.
Through pornography, young people get a twisted view of what constitutes normal relationships. In fact, pornography is directly related to sexual abuse, rape, and sexual violence.

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Just as sexual preferences are learned behaviors, most or all sexual deviations are learned behaviors.
Pornography has the power of conditioning into sexual deviancy.
Pornography can be addictive, with the individual becoming desensitized to 'soft' porn and moving on to twisted and dangerous images of sexual bondage.

Teen Myths:
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All teens are having sex!
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Having sex makes you an adult!
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Something is wrong with an older teen
(17-19) who is not having sex!

Teen Myths:
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A girl can't get pregnant if it's her first time!
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A girl can't get pregnant if she's menstruating!
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You are a virgin as long as you don't have sexual intercourse -- oral sex doesn't count!

Acting Out Previous Experiences
Emotional:
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Anger
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Guilt
Hurt
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Mood-Swings
Behavioral:
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Rebellion
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Delinquency

Positive:
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Love, Structure & Healthy Communication
Identifying with Two Parents
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Achievement of Previous Stages’ Goals
Negative:
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Exposures to Earlier Life Trauma
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Exposure to Mood Altering Experiences
Any Limitations or Disability

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Time to Start Knowing God as Savior
Time to Give more than to Receive
Time to Develop Healthy Image
Time to Gain Validation
Time to Identify with Gender
Time to Start Independence
Time to Practice Self-Control

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Dealing with Sexual Impulses
Finding Salvation in Knowing God
Finding Shelter in Confession
Finding Strength in Communion
Risks:
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Sticking Only to Rituals: Duality
Being Overpowered by Guilt

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Surrendering to Peer Pressures
Impulsiveness
Risky Sexual Behaviors
Experimenting with Alcohol or Drugs
Involvement with Crime
“Ganging Around” & Delinquency
Most Importantly: Lack of Spirituality

We May Be Concerned about:
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The “Fanatic” Teen!
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Teen Accidental Death
Teen Depression:
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Suicide is the third leading cause of death among the 15-24 years-old.
One third of teen population has thought of killing themselves!

“With God, All Things Are
Possible”
(Mark 10:27)
Thank You