Screwtape Proposes a
Toast
CS Lewis
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Screwtape Proposes a Toast can be
summed up in 3 general sections.
• The Corruption of the Educational
System
 • The National Dilemma
 • The Hypocrisy of Religion
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Corrupted Education
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“All is summed up in the prayer which a young female human is
said to have uttered recently: ‘O God, make me a normal
twentieth century girl!’ Thanks to our labours, this will mean
increasingly: ‘Make me a minx, a moron, and a parasite.’”

“I have said that to secure the damnation of these little souls, these
creatures that have almost ceased to be individual, is a laborious and
tricky work. But if proper pains and skill are expended, you can be fairly
confident of the result. The great sinners seem easier to catch. But then
they are incalculable. After you have played them for seventy years, the
Enemy may snatch them from your claws in the seventy-first. They are
capable, you see, of real repentance. They are conscious of real guilt.
They are, if things take the wrong turn, as ready to defy the social
pressures around them for the Enemy’s sake as they were to defy them
for ours. It is in some ways more troublesome to track and swat an
evasive wasp than to shoot, at close range, a wild elephant. But the
elephant is more troublesome if you miss.”

“For “democracy” or the “democratic spirit” (diabolical
sense) leads to a nation without great men, a nation
mainly of subliterates, full of the cocksureness which
flattery breeds on ignorance, and quick to snarl or whimper
at the first sign of criticism. And that is what Hell wishes
every democratic people to be. For when such a nation
meets in conflict a nation where children have been made
to work at school, where talent is placed in high posts, and
where the ignorant mass are allowed no say at all in public
affairs, only one result is possible.”
National Dilemma

“All said and done, my friends, it will be an ill
day for us if what most humans mean by
‘Religion’ ever vanishes from the Earth. It can
still send us the truly delicious sins. Nowhere
do we tempt so successfully as on the very
steps of the altar.”
Religious Hypocrisy

What I want to fix your attention on is the vast overall movement towards the discrediting,
and finally the elimination, of every kind of human excellence -- moral, cultural, social or
intellectual. And is it not pretty to notice how 'democracy' (in the incantatory sense) is now
doing for us the work that was once done by the most ancient dictatorships, and by the
same methods? The basic proposal of the new education is to be that dunces and idlers
must not be made to feel inferior to intelligent and industrious pupils. That would be
'undemocratic.' Children who are fit to proceed may be artificially kept back, because the
others would get a trauma by being left behind. The bright pupil thus remains
democratically fettered to his own age group throughout his school career, and a boy who
would be capable of tackling Aeschylus or Dante sits listening to his coeval's attempts to
spell out A CAT SAT ON A MAT. We may reasonably hope for the virtual abolition of
education when 'I'm as good as you' has fully had its way. All incentives to learn and all
penalties for not learning will vanish. The few who might want to learn will be prevented;
who are they to overtop their fellows? And anyway, the teachers -- or should I say nurses?
-- will be far too busy reassuring the dunces and patting them on the back to waste any
time on real teaching. We shall no longer have to plan and toil to spread imperturbable
conceit and incurable ignorance among men.
NCLB!
MY DEAR WORMWOOD,
It’s amazing how times have changed isn’t it? How
great it is that all of humanity has developed what we
thought was impossible! No longer does your patient have
to wait for anything but himself, everything is disposable!
If he doesn’t like his shirt, he’ll get a new one! If he
doesn’t like his friends, he’ll find new ones! If he doesn’t
like his wife, he’ll find a new one! Even your patient’s
church can be replaced by an exact replica, but with a new
name and a rock-concert stage in the sanctuary.
I now come to you with a plan of destruction, and a
small reward for your success. We no longer have to create
the temptations, for the success of your fellow graduates
has set a stage for your patient’s corruption. I want you to
focus on the main stream wonderings of no absolute truth;
your patient has been blinded by the enemy so far, but let
him wonder; let him see that beam of light. He will not
look into it for the enemy has his hand. All you are to do is
let a tiny crack of light into his mind. All we need is one
little foot-hold, a key to the back-door of his mind.
Auxiliary Letter
Do not bother with your patient’s eagerness for Sundays. For our
lord even wakes up with a smile on the enemy’s day. Watch your patient
closely, he is in the house of the enemy for one hour, but I want you to
notice his actions before and after the enemy’s time for our opportunity is
at this time. Your patient is bombarded with main stream media, mainly
sports on this day. He sits on his chair watching the beloved sportscastors argue nonsense about the gods that will participate in the day’s
games. From breakfast to the last possible second he can watch without
making his family late for church; this brings a natural anticipation of
ending the enemy’s dreadful hour. He will rush back home without one
minute of reflection on the service and resume his position of watching
the games for the remainder of the day.
I also would like to let you in on a little secret playful time me and
my fellow tempters had during my temptership on earth. As the house of
the enemy grows, so does the fun. I mentioned to you the urgency of
your patient to return home and to watch those sporting events. A great
opportunity to play on this is the time when all of our patients are trying
to drive their overly sized cars out of the parking lot. Make bets with your
fellow tempters on who’s patient will win, this will create outrage among
the patients, behind the wheel of a car they are absent of all the enemy
has to offer. This gives the absolute greatest chance for our success,
those visiting and/or unsure of the enemy’s people will see our patients
road-rage in the parking lot his own house! How easy can our job get as
we work so close to the enemy?
Your affectionate uncle,
SCREWTAPE

"There are no ordinary people. You have never
talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts,
civilization-these are mortal, and their life is to
ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals
whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and
exploit-immortal horrors or everlasting
splendours.”– The Weight of Glory
C.S. Lewis Song
Random note:
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Movies based on Lewis’ books that are
coming out soon:
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
(2005)
Prince Caspian (May 16, 2008)
Voyage of the Dawn Treader (May 7,
2010)
The Screwtape Letters (2008)