Chapter 6 - Writing Bad-News Messages
Chapter 6: Writing Bad-News Messages
Think of times when a business writer might need to give unwelcome news. This is a very
common situation—and the advice in this chapter will be very helpful.
When the main message is bad news, you should usually write in the indirect order.
Such messages are likely to be received more positively when an explanation precedes the bad
news. An explanation may even convince the reader that the writer is cleared of fault. It can also
serve to cushion the shock of the bad news. But you may be justified in using directness in
certain cases:
 when it is in the reader’s best interest to convey the negative news right away and to
encourage them to act on the news,
 when the negative news will be accepted routinely,
 or when you think the reader will appreciate frankness.
The General Indirect Plan
Begin with a strategic buffer. Use it to introduce your strategy to overcome the reader’s
resistance. It might be an explanation, a review of justifying facts—whatever you think will
work. You might also acknowledge any preceding messages in your opening.
Then develop the strategy—continue what the beginning set up. Make your case in such a way
that the reader will see your point and consider it reasonable—perhaps even in his or her best
interest.
Then present the negative. It should be the logical outcome of the preceding strategy, and it
should be worded as positively as the situation permits.
When possible (which is often), offer a compromise or alternative solution. When you say no or
announce negative news, you’ve left your reader with a problem. Help him/her solve it to the best
of your ability.
End on a positive note, shifting the focus to happier things—just as you would do at the end of a
face-to-face meeting.
Highlight the important elements of the strategic buffer in bad-news messages.
Good strategic buffers . . .
 Are neutral or positive
 Acknowledge the situation
 Put the reader in the best position to accept the news
 Are careful not to raise hopes
What are some opening lines that could help the reader receive bad news?
6-1
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education.
Chapter 6 - Writing Bad-News Messages
When delivering bad news, the first thought is often to apologize. This is useful in some cases
but not all (or most). If the writer is at fault, the apology should be made early in the message as
part of the explanation. Then the writer should move on. No apology should reappear at the end
of the message.
If the writer is not directly at fault, an apology can make it seem otherwise. An apology can also
be seen as an admission of guilt and can have legal implications. When in doubt, a writer should
consult a supervisor or legal advisor before sending a message of apology.
Refused Requests
In these situations, someone has asked you for something, and you must refuse—a very common
business situation.
Such messages are almost always negative, although they vary in degree of negativity. Usually in
such messages you have two goals:
1. to refuse, and
2. to maintain goodwill.
Before you write anything, you should think through the situation and work out a strategy—that
is, how you will explain or justify your decision.
Perhaps you must refuse because of company policy. In this case, it is advisable to justify the
policy rather than to just say it is company policy to refuse.
Probably you will refuse because the facts of the case justify refusing. When this is the case, you
can review the facts and appeal to fair play.
And there can be other reasons. In all cases, study the facts and work out as convincing an
explanation as you can.
With your strategy developed, you next put it into message form.
Begin indirectly with words that meet these requirements:
1. They clearly indicate that you are responding to the request.
2. They are neutral—that is, they do not imply yes or no.
3. They set up the strategy you have devised.
For example, if you are responding to a request for permission to use a company’s grounds for a
political fundraiser and you must say no, you might begin: “We are honored by your request for
permission to hold your important event on our grounds. Our landscapers have worked hard to
create a place that adds beauty to the community, and we are happy to host community events
whenever possible.”
These words are about the subject of the request, so they obviously indicate an answer to the
request. They do not give away the answer. And they set up the strategy (that the company can
6-2
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education.
Chapter 6 - Writing Bad-News Messages
host community events only when they are not affiliated with a particular political or religious
cause).
The reasoning set up by the opening follows. You present your reasoning as convincingly as you
can, taking care to avoid unnecessary negative wording and to use the you-viewpoint.
After you have presented your case, you refuse. Take care to use no unnecessary negatives,
making this part as positive as the situation permits. Avoid harsh words such as “I refuse,” “will
not,” and “cannot.” Timeworn apologies such as “I deeply regret” or “I am sorry to say”
emphasize the negative and can sound insincere.
Avoid giving the refusal undue emphasis—by position, space, or wording.
A compromise can often be used to soften the refusal and build goodwill. When this is possible,
take advantage of it. For example: “The best we can do . . .”; “Have you considered . . .”; “You
might want to . . .”; “May I suggest that you . . .”; or other ways that direct your reader toward at
least a partial solution to his/her problem.
Good closing talk is something pleasant that does not dwell on the refusal. What you choose to
use will depend on the facts of the case. But select something that fits the situation—something
you might say if you were face to face with the reader.
Avoid the timeworn negative apologies: “I sincerely regret that we have had to refuse . . . .”
Equally bad are the timeworn appeals to understanding: “I sincerely hope that you understand
why we must make this decision.”
Indirect Claims
When something goes wrong in business relations, one party may attempt to correct the matter by
making a claim against the other.
The claim may be made in person, by telephone, or by written message. As the text says, it may
also be direct or indirect, depending on the situation. And even when it is indirect, it states the
problem early in the message.
When you are making a routine claim—such as informing a mail-order company that they sent
the wrong number of ink cartridges—you do not have to do much strategizing. This is one of
those mistakes that sometimes happens, and the company will probably be happy to correct it
once you bring it to their attention. A quick phone call often takes care of such situations.
But in cases where the solution is not so clear cut, you will need to be more strategic and
persuasive. You will also need to take care to control your tone so as not to undermine your
request.
State early in the message that there is a problem—but word this statement as neutrally as
possible. When appropriate, reference the invoice number, order number, or date of transaction.
6-3
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education.
Chapter 6 - Writing Bad-News Messages
One possible way to do so is in a subject line like this one: “Subject: Breakage of glassware
shipped under invoice No. L1308.” Your opening paragraph can then add further specifics.
In the body of the message, present your case as persuasively but unemotionally as you can.
Explain clearly what went wrong.
Present the evidence. You may want to interpret the error in terms of its effect: “The Fanuc robot
that we purchased last January 17 has broken down, resulting in the stoppage of one of our
assembly lines.”
Be tactful, don’t assume or imply distrust, and resist the temptation to display anger.
After making the claim, move to the adjustment request. Either say what action you want or let
the reader choose the appropriate action.
End with words that state or imply your desire to continue relations with the reader. For example:
“We would appreciate your immediate replacement of this unit so that we can resume
production.” (Avoid such rubber stamps as “Thanking you in advance . . . .”)
Adjustment Refusals
Messages that refuse claims carry bad news. Like other bad-news messages, they are usually
handled with indirectness.
Probably, the reader believes he or she is right and that you are wrong, although some know their
claims are weak.
A good beginning step in working on the letter is to decide how to explain your decision. Your
decision should be based on the facts of the case; after all, you have good reasons on your side.
(If you do not, then you have a very difficult message to write indeed—and should reconsider the
refusal, if possible.)
So you review the facts, and you determine the explanation that will be most likely to convince
the reader that right is on your side.
As in other refusals, the opening should 1) be on subject, 2) be neutral, and 3) set up the
explanation. Because you are answering a message (the claim), you should refer to this message,
either incidentally (“As described in your April 7 letter”) or in a subject line (“Subject: Your
August 2 letter about Order 3188”).
The subject matter of the opening can be almost anything that sets up a review of the facts of the
case. It could be a point on which you and the reader can agree: “You are correct in believing that
a two-ton Deep Kold window unit should cool the ordinary three-room apartment.” The sentence
makes contact on a common point and sets up the reasoning (the apartment in question is not an
ordinary three-room apartment).
6-4
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education.
Chapter 6 - Writing Bad-News Messages
The opening set-up could be a statement showing concern for the reader’s well-being. “Assisting
young couples to enjoy beautifully decorated homes at budget prices is one of our most satisfying
goals. We do all we reasonably can to reach it.”
From this opening sentence the writer will shift smoothly to proving that making the adjustment
goes beyond what can reasonably be expected.
The explanation that was set up by the opening logically follows. This explanation should be
convincing. This means that it should be believable, and to be believable, it should be based on
fact. It should show clearly that right is on your side.
Use your best writing skills in presenting your reasoning. This means avoiding unnecessary
negatives and emphasizing the positive. It also means writing nothing that questions the reader’s
honesty or intelligence—nothing insulting. (“If you had read the contract you would have known
that…”).
Your explanation should lead to and set up the refusal. So after explaining, refuse. Refuse
positively—yet clearly. To make sure it is positive, study the effects of your words. Avoid
unnecessary negatives. If the situation justifies it, consider a compromise.
To make sure your refusal is clear, use words that leave no doubt. Example: “For these reasons,
you will understand why we can pay only when our employees pack the goods.” Or “Although
the contract clearly ended our responsibility on May 1, we will do whatever we can to help repair
the equipment.” Or “In view of these facts, the best we can do is repair the equipment at cost.”
End with a pleasant comment. Avoid referring unnecessarily to the refusal. Even well-intended
apologies are negative here.
A good general topic is some more agreeable aspect of customer relations—new products,
services, uses of the product, industry news, and the like. Almost any friendly comment that
appears logical in this case will do.
Negative Announcements
Sometimes businesses have to announce bad news to their customers and employees—for
example, a price increase, a reduction in employee benefits, the closing of a store.
As with the negative messages previously discussed, the writer begins by searching for a strategy.
Negative announcements follow the general construction of other bad-news messages. Due to the
nature of the content that such announcements commonly carry, the main goals of the negative
announcement are to 1) present the bad news as accurately and positively as possible and 2) leave
readers feeling that the writer has carefully considered their interests.
In these instances, the writer begins by thinking “What can be said that will cushion the shock of
6-5
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education.
Chapter 6 - Writing Bad-News Messages
the bad news?”
The beginning should set up the justification of the announcement and ease the reader into the
discovery of the bad news. This can be done with a cordial statement that focuses on the
relationship of the writer to the reader(s) or a set-up of the justifying information to follow.
The background reasons for and explanation of the news should be offered next, using the
techniques for positive effect. Take care to cover all the necessary details. Anticipate the readers’
questions and answer them. If the bad news creates problems, try to help solve them.
The negative news should be presented as positively as the situation justifies. But it must be
crystal clear. As in the other negative messages, the words must be carefully chosen.
Often change is a part of negative announcements. Use this message to assure your readers of
positive elements that are remaining in place, to call attention to potential benefits that may result
from the changes, and to help resolve any problems that come from the changes.
End on a note that affirms the good relationship between you and your readers and perhaps looks
ahead to something positive.
Directness may be appropriate in some cases—for example, if the news is expected, if the news
is only mildly negative, or if it is already known through leaks of information.
Even so, exercise care in word selection. Present the information positively and clearly.
In addition to letting anger pass, this can also mean letting any initial negativity about the
situation pass. The best bad-news messages are those written out of confidence and a positive
approach (with the glass being viewed as half full rather than half empty). Perhaps the best
advice of all is to get oneself in the right frame of mind before writing such a message—even if
that means purging the bad mood first with a message that one would never send!
6-6
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education.