Workshop on
writing English
good
By Jeff South | Fulbright Scholar | U.S.A.
Teaching at Northeast Normal University, Changchun
jcsouth@vcu.edu | WeChat: JeffS63
Workshop on
writing English
good well
By Jeff South | Fulbright Scholar | U.S.A.
Teaching at Northeast Normal University, Changchun
jcsouth@vcu.edu | WeChat: JeffS63
Robertson School of Media & Culture
About
 30,000+
students
 Capital of state of Virginia
 Engineering, Business, Arts,
Sciences, Humanities, Medicine …
 Sports, cultural activities, fun
 International connections
About me
 American
journalist & professor
 Fulbright Program (exchange
program for teachers & students)
 What I like: traveling,
my motorcycle,
my cat, Napster …
Writing workshop
 Your
purpose (and audience)
 Your focus (something to say)
 Mechanics (grammar, rules)
 Clarity (being understood)
 Style (creativity, elegance)
Important for journalists … and for everybody!
http://wp.vcu.edu/datajournalism/2014/05/22/taiyuan/
Email
jcsouth@vcu.edu
for the link
Your purpose
 ‘Medium
is the message’
McLuhan
 Mass media theory
 Also applies to individuals
 What & why are you writing?
◦Research paper? Essay? Letter?
 To
whom are you writing?
◦Official? Acquaintance? Friend?
How do they differ?
 Article
for a journal
 Text message to a friend
 Application to study abroad
 Your résumé
 Story for a magazine
 Letter to a professor
 Posting on social media
Implications
 Formality
 Style
manual
 How you address people
 Strictly facts vs. opinion
 Straightforward vs. creative
 Whether to use first-person
 Use of bullets, abbreviations
Focus
 One-sentence
I am asking
you for a
letter of
recommendation.
summary
 Your main point
 Tell-a-friend technique
 The Weibo / Twitter technique
 Make an outline: your focus
and supporting points
 Omit unrelated information
Journalism students’ notes:
We searched the database of the U.S. Patent
Office.
We found that Chinese inventors got 9,042
U.S. patents in 2013. That’s the most they have
ever received.
Here are the number of U.S. patents that
Chinese inventors got in previous years:
 5,050 in 2010
 5,499 in 2011
 7,445 in 2012
From 2010 to 2013, the number of U.S.
patents received by Chinese inventors increased
by 79 percent.
Chinese inventors received a
record number of U.S. patents
last year – almost an 80
percent increase from 2010.
China ranked fifth among all
countries in the number of
patents obtained from the U.S.
in 2013. That was up from a
No. 8 ranking in 2011 and
2012.
Mechanics
Grammar
Without
Punctuation
Spelling
you’re not
going anywhere
Sentence
 Words
that express a
complete thought
 Must have a subject (noun)
and predicate (verb)
 Begins with capital letter
and ends with a period
Common errors
 Incomplete
sentences
(fragments)
 Run-on sentences
 Subject-verb agreement
Fragment or sentence?
On the other side of the mountain.
They live on the other side of the
mountain.
Ping Yao is located on the other
side of the mountain.
Fragment or sentence?
Shao Yifu, the famous Chinese
movie producer, died in January.
It is a sentence!
Shao Yifu, the famous Chinese
movie producer, died in January.
Fragment or sentence?
Unfortunately, instead of reporting
their discovery.
Unfortunately, instead of reporting
their discovery, the farmers used
many of the coffin planks as
firewood and left the site badly
damaged.
Fragment or sentence?
Chinese Assistant Foreign Minister
Zheng Zeguang summoned U.S.
Ambassador to China Max
Baucus on Monday night,
protesting the indictment against
five Chinese military officers.
It’s a sentence.
Fragment or sentence?
Chinese Assistant Foreign Minister
Zheng Zeguang summoned
U.S. Ambassador to China Max
Baucus on Monday night,
protesting the indictment against
five Chinese military officers.
Fragment or sentence?
The group's event will generate an
estimated $85 million for the
Anaheim area, and the 7,000
attendees will fill 13,000 to
14,000 hotel room nights at more
than 30 area hotels.
It’s a sentence.
Fragment or sentence?
The group's event will generate
an estimated $85 million for the
Anaheim area, and the 7,000
attendees will fill 13,000 to
14,000 hotel room nights at more
than 30 area hotels.
Subject & verb
 The
subject agrees with its
verb no matter how far apart
the two are.
 Do not be distracted by
words between the subject
and verb.
33
Subject & verb
A
list of readings [has / have]
been sent to all students.
 A list of readings has been
sent to all students.
34
Subject & verb
 All
of the students, including
the boy who received the
highest grade, [is / are]
going to Beijing.
 All of the students, including
the boy who received the
highest grade, are going to
Beijing.
35
Windows 8 replaced Windows XP
after Microsoft stopped providing
the general public with XP support
and security updates on April 8.
The company still offers extended
XP support to enterprise
customers with which they have
lucrative support contracts, such
as the Netherlands and UK
governments.
Windows 8 replaced Windows XP
after Microsoft stopped providing
the general public with XP support
and security updates on April 8.
The company still offers extended
XP support to enterprise
customers with which they have
lucrative support contracts, such
as the Netherlands and UK
governments.
Windows 8 replaced Windows XP
after Microsoft stopped providing
the general public with XP support
and security updates on April 8.
The company ?still offers extended
XP support to enterprise
customers ?
with which they have
lucrative support contracts, such
as the Netherlands and UK
governments.
Windows 8 replaced Windows XP
after Microsoft stopped providing
the general public with XP support
and security updates on April 8.
The company still offers extended
XP support to enterprise
customers with which they have
it has lucrative support contracts,
such as the Netherlands and UK
governments.
Clarity
 Short
sentences
 Short subject
 Active voice
 Start with subject (or use a
comma before the subject)
 ‘Branch to the right’
Short sentences
More than three decades after the
administration of U.S. President
Richard Nixon opened relations with
China, the reminiscences of five
former US ambassadors to China
underscore the boldness of the
diplomacy of that era – especially
compared with the more cautious
dynamic that prevails today.
Short sentences
It has been more than three
decades since U.S. President Richard
Nixon opened relations with China.
Yesterday, five former U.S.
ambassadors to China reminisced
about that breakthrough. Their
comments underscore the boldness of
the diplomacy of that era – especially
compared with the more cautious
dynamic today.
Active voice
 Subject
> action verb > object
 The Robot Challenge was won
by a team of students from
TYUT.
 A team of students from TYUT
won the Robot Challenge
Active voice
A
speech at the conference
was given by Professor Xie
Kechang.
 Professor Xie Kechang gave a
speech at the conference.
Active voice
 In
the book, it is said that
coal is key to China’s energy
future.
 The book said that coal is key
to China’s energy future.
Weak constructions
 There
are many students
who are freaking out about
taking the gaokao.
 Many students are freaking
out about taking the gaokao.
Hard to understand
In response to the disclosures by
Edward Snowden, who stole files
from government computers,
gave them to reporters and has
sought asylum in Russia, the
U.S. House on Thursday passed
legislation to end the National
Security Agency's bulk collection
of American phone records.
Hard to understand
In response to the disclosures by
Edward Snowden, who stole files
from government computers,
gave them to reporters and has
sought asylum in Russia, the
U.S. House on Thursday passed
legislation to end the National
Security Agency's bulk collection
of American phone records.
Start with subject
The U.S. House on Thursday
passed legislation to end the
National Security Agency's bulk
collection of American phone
records in response to the
disclosures by Edward Snowden,
who stole files from government
computers, gave them to reporters
and has sought asylum in Russia.
Introductory phrase
 If
you start a sentence with a
short phrase, use a comma
After graduating from TYUT, he
moved to Beiing.
Since about 70,000 people died
in the Sicuan earthquake,
China has sought to improve
building standards.
55
Style & grace
 Parallel
construction
 Analogies
 Transitions
 Pacing
Parallel construction
‘Let freedom ring from the
prodigious hilltops of New
Hampshire. Let freedom ring
from the mighty mountains
of New York. Let freedom
ring from the snow-capped
Rockies of Colorado.’
– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
He didn’t tell his patients. He
didn’t tell officials at Baltimore
Johns Hopkins Hospital, where
he was a cancer surgeon. He
didn’t tell the doctor who
bought his medical practice
earlier this year.
But now the case of Dr. Almaraz,
who died of AIDS on Nov. 16 at
the age of 41, has freightened
his patients.
Philadelphia Inquirer
Transitions
 Tie
sentences and
paragraphs to the preceding
sentences and paragraphs
 One idea flows into another
 Present info; support it with
a fact or quote
 As
a result
 So
 Consequently
 Therefore
 Because
 At
the time
 Meanwhile
 Before
 Then
 In the past
 After
 Later
Time connections
Logical connections
Transitions
 Nearby
 But
 In
 However
the same …
 Across the …
 In China …
 Still
 Nevertheless
 Despite
 In
contrast
 On the other
hand
Contrasts
Place connections
Transitions
Pacing
 Mix
long and short sentences
and paragraphs
 Raise a question (but use
this technique rarely)
 Effective pacing holds
the reader’s interest
On New Year’s Eve, Lisa Botzum
visited the emergency room of
the Hospital of the University of
Pennsylvania, complaining of
nausea and vomiting. She was
given a pregnancy test. She was
elated by the result.
Few others were.
Philadelphia Inquirer
Final writing tip
 Mark
Twain
 ‘Employ a simple and
straightforward style’
 ‘I would have written a
shorter letter, but I did not
have the time’
Thank you!