Research shows that in many
industrialized nations, most young adults
only feel that they are truly adult after
reaching their late 20s and early 30s
 Emerging adulthood – the lives of many
young people today indicate that the
transition to adult roles has become so
delayed that it has spawned a new
transitional period

› extends from the late teens to the mid-20s

Emerging adulthood greatly prolongs identity development
›

Routes to adult responsibilities are highly diverse in timing and
order across individuals, with little that is normative or socially
expected
›

Released from the oversight of parents but not yet immersed in adult
roles, 18-25 year olds can engage in activities of the widest possible
scope
Ex. Many more college students than in past generations pursue their
education in a drawn-out, nonlinear way – changing majors as they
explore career options, taking courses while working part-time, or
interrupting school to work or travel
During the college years, young people refine their approach to
constructing an identity
Besides exploring in breadth (weighing multiple possibilities), they also
explore in depth (evaluating existing commitments)
› Ex. Before students choose a major they usually take classes in multiple
areas, and once a decision on a major has been made, students usually
evaluate in depth the field they have selected, reflecting on their
interests, motivation, and performance
›

Emerging adulthood is limited to cultures that postpone entry
into adult roles until the 20s
›

In developing nations, only a few individuals experience emerging
adulthood, usually the individuals from wealthy families who are
admitted to universities
In industrialized countries, where many benefit from these
transitional years, young people vary in their beliefs about what it
means to become an adult
Young adults from diverse cultures, ethnicities, and religions emphasize
psychological qualities, especially self-sufficiency, as well as deciding on
personal beliefs and values, establishing an equal relationship with
parents, and becoming financially independent
› Young adults from collectivist minority groups also attach a great
importance to becoming more considerate of others, to attaining certain
roles, and to self-control
›

Emerging adulthood is limited for low SES young people in
Western nations
›
Low SES is limited by early parenthood, dropping out of high school, and
no access to vocational training

Emerging adults play a more active role in their own
development than at any earlier time
They choose and coordinate demanding life roles and acquire the skills
necessary to succeed in those roles
› As they experiment, they often encounter disappointments in love and
work that require them to adjust, and sometimes radically change, their
life path
›


Emerging adults’ explorations also extend to earlier risks,
including unprotected sexual activity, substance use, and
hazardous driving behavior
›
›
Certain types of risks also increase
Ex. Drug taking peaks between ages 19-22
›
See chart on page 468 of text for a list of cognitive, emotional and social
attributes and social supports that foster resilience in emerging adulthood
Research shows that personal attributes, such as planning and
decision making, and social supports, including a secure parentemerging adult bond, foster resilience (the capacity to
overcome challenge and adversity) and a successful passage
through these years

Intimacy versus Isolation reflects the young person’s thoughts and
feelings about making a permanent commitment to an intimate partner
›

A secure identity fosters attainment of intimacy
›
›

For both men and women, identity achievement is positively correlated with fidelity
and love, while identity moratorium is negatively associated with fidelity and love
For women, coordination of identity and intimacy is more complex than for men,
because women are more likely to consider the impact of their personal goals on
important relationships
Young people who have achieved intimacy are more cooperative,
tolerant, and accepting of differences in background and values in their
friendships and work ties
›

Maturity involves balancing the desire for self-determination with the desire for
intimacy
In contrast, people with a sense of isolation hesitate to form close ties because they
fear loss of their own identity, tend to compete rather than cooperate, are not
accepting of differences, and are easily threatened when others get too close
Erikson believed that successful resolution of intimacy versus isolation
prepares the individual for the middle adulthood stage
›
Generativity – caring for the next generation and helping to improve society

In the 1970s, growing interest in adult
development led to several widely read
books on the topic
› Daniel Levinson’s The Seasons of a Man’s Life
› George Vaillant’s Adaptation to Life
› Aging Well presents psychosocial theories in
the tradition of Erikson

Conducted in-depth biographical interviews with men and
women age 35-45
›

Identified a common path of change within which men and women
approach developmental tasks in somewhat different ways
Like Erikson, Levinson saw development as a sequence of
qualitatively distinct stages
Each stage begins with a transition
Followed by a stable phase during which individuals build a life structure
aimed at balancing inner personal demands and outside social
demands
› Eventually people question the current structure, and a new transition
occurs
›
›
A key concept in Levinson’s theory is the life structure – the
underlying design of a person’s life, consisting of relationships
with significant individuals, groups, and institutions
 Men’s and women’s accounts of their lives confirm Levinson’s
description of development

›
They also reveal that early adulthood is the era of “greatest energy and
abundance, contradiction and stress”

Levinson found that during the early adult transition, most
people construct a dream – an image of themselves in the
adult world that guides their decision making
› For men, the dream usually emphasizes an independent
achiever in an occupational role
› Most career-oriented women display “split dreams” involving
both marriage and career

Young adults also form a relationship with a mentor who
facilitates realization of their dream – often a senior
colleague at work
› Finding a supportive mentor is easier for men than for women
› Men oriented toward high-status careers spend their 20s
acquiring professional skills, values, and credentials
› For many women, by contrast, career development often
extends into middle age





During the age-30 transition, young people who were
preoccupied with career and are still single usually
focus on finding a life partner
While women who had emphasized marriage and
motherhood often develop more individualistic goals
To create the culminating life structure of early
adulthood, men usually “settle down” by focusing on
certain relationships and aspirations
Many women remain unsettled in their 30s, often
because they have added an occupational or
relationship commitment
Not until middle age do many women attain the
stability typical of men in their 30s
› Reaching career maturity and taking on more authority in
the community

Vaillant examined the development of nearly
250 men born in the 1920s
› They were selected for the study while they were
›
›
›
›
students at a highly competitive liberal arts college
As many as possible were followed over the lifespan
In college, the participants underwent extensive
interviews
During each succeeding decade, they answered
lengthy questionnaires
Then Vaillant interviewed the men at ages 47, 60,
and 70 about work, family, and physical and mental
health

Vaillant’s research confirmed Erikson’s stages but
filled gaps between them, and is also compatible
with Levinson’s theory
› After focusing on intimacy concerns in their 20s, the men
shifted their focus to career consolidation in their 30s
› In their 40s, they pulled back from the individual
achievement and became more generative
› In their 50s and 60s, they became guardians of their
culture, expressing concern about the values of the new
generation and the state of their society
› In their 70s, the men became more spiritual and reflective

Later, in another lifelong study, Vaillant studied
women and found that they went through a similar
series of changes
Their conclusions are based largely on
interviews with people born in the first
few decades of the 20th century and
might not apply as broadly to young
adults today
 Levinson’s sample included only a few
non-college-educated , low-income
adults, and almost no low SES women

› The effects of SES on life course remain
largely uninvestigated

An important cultural and generational influence on adult development
in all societies is the social clock
›

A major source of personality change in adulthood can be conformity
to or departure from the social clock
›
›
›
›

Social clock – age-graded expectations for major life events, such as starting a first
job, getting married, birth of the first child, buying a home, and retiring
In one study, women born in the 1930s were followed up at ages 27 and 43
Those who followed a “feminine” social clock (marriage and parenthood in the
early or mid-20s) became more responsible self-controlled, tolerant, and caring but
declined in self-esteem and felt more vulnerable as their lives progressed
Those who followed a “masculine” social clock (entry into a high-status career and
advancement by the late 20s) became more dominant, sociable, independent,
and intellectually effective
Those who had neither married or begun a career by age 30 suffered from feelings
of incompetence, self-doubt, and loneliness
Age-graded expectations for appropriate behavior have become
increasingly flexible
›
›
›
›
But, many adults experience psychological distress when they are substantially
behind in timing of life events
Following a social clock of some kind seems to foster confidence during early
adulthood
It guarantees that young people will engage in the work of society, develop skills,
and gain in understanding of the self and others
Thus, the stability of society depends on having people committed to social-clock
patterns
To establish an intimate tie to another
person, people must find a partner and
build an emotional bond that they
sustain over time
 Although young adults are especially
concerned with romantic love, the need
for intimacy can also be satisfied through
other relationships involving mutual
commitment

› With friends, siblings, and co-workers

Both biological and social forces contribute to mate selection

Intimate partners generally meet in places where they find people of
their own age, ethnicity, SES, and religion

People usually select partners who resemble themselves in attitudes,
personality, education plans, and intelligence, physical attractiveness,
and even height

Many studies confirm that the more similar partners are, the more
satisfied they tend to be with their relationship and the more likely they
are to stay together

Men and women differ in the importance they place on certain
characteristics which reflect evolutionary theory
›
›
Women assign greater weight to intelligence, ambition, financial status, and moral
character as well as preference for same-age or slightly older partners
Men place more emphasis on physical attractiveness and domestic skills and also
prefer a younger partner

Evolutionary theory helps explain these findings
Because their capacity to reproduce is limited, women seek a mate with
traits, such as earning power and emotional commitment, that help
ensure children’s survival and well-being
› Women also typically prefer to take time to achieve psychological
intimacy before physical intimacy
› Men look for a mate with traits that signal youth, health, sexual pleasure,
and ability to give birth to and care for offspring
› Additionally men often want a relationship to move quickly toward
physical intimacy
›

From a social learning perspective, mate selection is influenced
by gender roles
›
Men learn to be assertive and independent
 Behaviors needed for success in the work world
Women acquire nurturant behaviors that facilitate caregiving
Each sex then learns to value traits in the other that fit with a traditional
division of labor
› In cultures and in younger generations experiencing greater gender
equity, men and women are more alike in their mate preferences
› Ex. Compared with men in China and Japan, American men place more
emphasis on their mate’s financial prospects and less on her domestic
skills
›
›

But neither men nor women put good looks, earning
power, and mate’s age relative to their own at the
top their wish list
› They place a higher value on relationship satisfaction:
mutual attraction, caring, dependability, emotional
maturity, and a pleasing disposition

Nevertheless, men continue to value physical
attractiveness more than women do
› And women continue to value earning capacity more
than men do

Choice of an intimate partner and quality of the
intimate relationship are also influenced by timing
and by memories of the early parent-child bond

Sternberg’s triangular theory of love – identifies 3
components – intimacy, passion, and commitment – that
shift in emphasis as romantic relationships develop
› Intimacy is the emotional component, involves warm, tender
communication, expressions of concern about the other’s well-
being, and a desire for the partner to reciprocate
› Passion, the desire for sexual activity and romance, is the
physical and psychological arousal component
› Commitment is the cognitive component, leading partners to
decide that they are in love and to maintain that love

Passionate love – intense sexual attraction
› Is strong at the beginning of a relationship, gradually declines in
favor of intimacy and commitment

Intimacy and commitment form the basis of
companionate love – warm, trusting affection and
caregiving

Important features of higher-quality, longlasting relationships include consistent
expressions of commitment and constructive
conflict resolution
› Constructive conflict resolution involves directly
expressing wishes and needs, listening patiently,
asking for clarification, compromising, accepting
responsibility, forgiving their partner, and avoiding
the escalation of negative interaction sparked by
criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling

In contrast, negative behavior and a rise in
stress hormone levels during conflict have been
shown to predict marital dissatisfaction and
eventual divorce
Keeping Love Alive in a Romantic Partnership
Suggestion
Description
Make time for your relationship
To foster relationship satisfaction and a sense of being “in
love,” plan regular times to be together
Tell your partner of your love
Express affection and caring, including the words “I love
you,” at appropriate times, these messages increase
perceptions of commitment and encourage your partner
to respond in kind
Be available to your partner in
times of need
Provide emotional support, giving of yourself when your
partner is distressed
Communicate constructively
and positively about
relationship problems
When your or your partner is dissatisfied, suggest ways of
overcoming difficulties and ask your partner to collaborate
in choosing and implementing a course of action, avoid
the 4 enemies: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and
stonewalling
Show an interest in important
aspects of your partner’s life
Ask about your partner’s work, friends, family, and hobbies
and express appreciation for his or her special abilities and
achievements, in doing so, you grant your partner a sense
of being valued
Confide in your partner
Share innermost feelings, keeping intimacy alive
Forgive minor offenses and try
to understand major offenses
Whenever possible, overcome feelings of anger through
forgiveness, in this way, you acknowledge unjust behavior
but avoid becoming preoccupied with it
Passion and intimacy became the dominant bases for
marriage in the 20th century Western nations as the value
of individualism strengthened
 From this vantage point, mature love is based on
autonomy, appreciation of the partner’s unique qualities,
and intense emotion

› Trying to satisfy dependency needs through an intimate bond is
considered immature

In collectivist Eastern cultures, lifelong dependency is
viewed positively
› Because the self is defined through role relationships, and
affection is distributed across a broad social network, rather than
focused intensely on a single person

Even in countries where arranged marriages are still fairly
common, parents and prospective brides and grooms
consult one another before moving forward

Adult friends are usually similar in age, sex, and SES
› Factors that contribute to common interests, experiences,
and needs and therefore to the pleasure derived from the
relationship

Friends enhance self-esteem through affirmation and
acceptance and provide support in times of stress
› Friends also make life more interesting by expanding social
opportunities and access to knowledge and points of view


Trust, intimacy, and loyalty continue to be important
in adult friendships
Sharing thoughts and feelings is sometimes greater in
friendship than in marriage
› Although commitment is less strong as friends come and
go over the life course

Women have more intimate same-sex friendships
than men, and often prefer to “just talk” with friends
› While male friends generally prefer to “do something,”
such as play sports
› Barriers to intimacy between male friends include
competitiveness, which may make men unwilling to
disclose weaknesses, and concern that if they tell about
themselves friends won’t reciprocate


For single adults, friends are the preferred
companions and confidants
Gay and lesbian romantic relationships often
develop out of close same-sex friendships
› With lesbians especially forging compatible friendships
based on gratifying communication before becoming
involved romantically



In the college years, other-sex friendships are
as common as romantic relationships and may
include sex without a dating relationship
After marriage, other-sex friendships decline
with age for men but increase for women, who
tend to form them in the workplace
Many people try to keep other-sex friendships
platonic to safeguard their integrity
› But when sexual attraction does develop, the
relationship often changes into a romantic bond
› Men are more likely than women to feel sexually
attracted to an other-sex friend





The family life cycle – a sequence of phases
characterizing the development of most families around
the world
In early adulthood, people typically live on their own,
marry, and bear and rear children
In middle-age, their children leave home, and their
parenting responsibilities diminish
Late adulthood brings retirement, growing old, and death
of one’s spouse
We have to be careful not to view the family life cycle as
a fixed progression
› Today, wide variations exist in the sequence and timing of its
phases
› High rates of out-of-wedlock births, delayed marriage and
childbearing, divorce, and remarriage all contribute, just to
name a few
› And some people, voluntarily or involuntarily, do not experience
all the family life-cycle phases



The average age of first marriage in the U.S. has risen
›
›
About age 20 for women and 23 for men in 1950
Today, about age 25 ½ for women and 27 ½ for men
›
In the U.S., Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York,
New Jersey, New Mexico, Washington D.C, California, Delaware, Hawaii,
Illinois*, Minnesota, Rhode Island, Maine, Maryland, Washington, and
Vermont have legalized same-sex marriage
90% of Americans marry at least once
Same sex marriages are recognized nationwide in Argentina,
Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway,
Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden
 Evidence on cohabitating same-sex couples suggests that the factors that
contribute to happiness in other-sex marriages also do so in same-sex
unions

But, marriage is more than just the union of two individuals, it also
requires that the spouses’ two family systems adapt and overlap
to create a new subsystem
›
Among same-sex couples, acceptance of the relationship by parents,
inclusion of the partner in family events, and living in a supportive
community where they can be open about their bond benefit
relationship satisfaction and durability
Contemporary alterations in the context of marriage,
including changing gender roles and living farther away
from family members, mean that couples must work
harder than in the past to define their relationships
 Although partners are usually similar in religious and ethnic
background, “mixed” marriages are increasingly common

› Ex. Nearly half of American Jews who marry today select a nonJewish spouse
› Ex. Other-race unions now account for 15.1% of the married
population in the U.S.

Age of marriage is the most consistent predictor of marital
stability
› Young people who marry in their teens and early 20s are far
more likely to divorce than those who marry later

Despite progress in the area of women’s rights
traditional marriages – involving clear division of
husband’s and wife’s roles, still exist in Western nations
› The man is the head of household and his primary
responsibility is the economic well-being of his family
› The woman devotes herself to caring for her husband and
children and to creating a nurturant, comfortable home
› In recent decades these marriages have changed, with
many women who focused on motherhood while their
children were young returning to the work force later

In egalitarian marriages – partners relate as equals,
sharing power and authority
› Both try to balance the time and energy they devote to
their occupations, their children, and their relationship
› Most well-educated, career-oriented women expect this
form of marriage


Factors related to marital satisfaction include family
backgrounds, age at marriage, relationship to
extended family, and personality characteristics
Quality of the marital relationship predicts mental
health similarly for men and women
› However men tend to report feeling slightly happier with
their marriages than do women
› Women tend to feel particularly dissatisfied with marriage
when the demands of husband, children, housework, and
career are overwhelming

Research in both Western and non-Western
industrialized nations reveals that equal power in the
relationship and sharing of family responsibilities
usually enhances both men’s and women’s
satisfaction
Factor
Happy Marriage
Unhappy Marriage
Family backgrounds
Partners similar in SES,
education, religion, and age
Partners very different in SES,
education, religion, and age
Age at marriage
After age 23
Before age 23
Length of courtship
At least 6 months
Less than 6 months
Timing of first pregnancy
After first year of marriage
Before or within first year of
marriage
Relationship to extended
family
Warm and positive
Negative; wish to maintain
distance
Marital patterns in
extended family
Stable
Unstable; frequent separations
and divorces
Financial and employment
status
Secure
Insecure
Family responsibilities
Shared; perception of
fairness
Largely the woman’s
responsibility; perception of
unfairness
Personality characteristics
Emotionally positive; good
conflict-resolution skills
Emotionally negative and
impulsive; poor conflictresolution skills

In one study 50 happily married couples were interviewed about
their marriages
›

Each participant reported both good times and bad, and many
admitted to having moments when they wanted out
Clearly, marital happiness was no “rose garden”
Rather, it was grounded in mutual respect, pleasure and comfort in each
other’s company, and joint problem solving
› All couples emphasized the need to reshape their relationship in response
to new circumstances and to each partner’s changing needs and
desires
›

Yet many young people have a mythical image of marital bliss,
based more on TV romantic comedies and dramas than on
reality
›
Ex. A substantial number of young adults endorse these beliefs, all
unsupported by facts
 The best single predictor of marital satisfaction is the quality of a couple’s
sex life
 If my spouse loves me, he/she should instinctively know what I want and
need to be happy
 No matter how I behave, my spouse should love me simply because
he/she is my spouse
For many adults, the decision to have children used to be
“a biological given” or “an unavoidable cultural demand”
 Today, in Western industrialized nations, parenthood is a
matter of true individual choice
 Effective birth control techniques enable adults to avoid
having children in most instances
 Changing cultural values allow people to remain childless
with less fear of social criticism and rejection than a
generation or two ago

› In 1950, 78% of American married couples were parents
› Today, 70% bear children, and they tend to be older when they
have their first child

Family size in industrialized nations has declined since 1950
› In 1950, the average number of children per couple was 3.1
› Today it is 1.8 in the U.S. (not really sure how you can have .1 or .8
kids…)

The choice of parenthood is affected by a combination of
factors
›
Including financial circumstances, personal and religious values, and
health conditions
Women with traditional gender identities usually decide to have
children
 Whether a woman is employed or not has less impact on
childbearing than the nature of her occupation

›
Women with high-status, demanding careers less often choose
parenthood and, when they do, more often delay it than women with
less consuming jobs
The most important reasons given for having children include the
warm, affectionate relationship and the stimulation and fun that
children provide
 The most commonly mentioned disadvantages of parenthood
include “loss of freedom” and “financial strain”

›
According to a conservative estimate raising a child in the U.S. from birth
to age 18 costs about $200,000… and that’s before college tuition

The early weeks after a baby enters the
family are full of profound change
› Constant caregiving, added financial
responsibilities, and less time for the couple’s
relationship

These demands usually cause the
gender roles of husband and wife to
become more traditional
› Even for couples who are strongly
committed to gender equality




For most new parents the arrival of a baby does not cause
significant marital strain
›
But troubled marriages usually become more unhappy and distressed
›
Causing an especially difficult post-birth adjustment
›
Especially for women, with negative consequences for parent-infant
interaction
When expectant couples anticipate lack of partner support in
parenting, their prediction generally becomes reality
In dual-earner marriages, the larger the difference in men’s and
women’s caregiving responsibilities, the greater the decline in
marital satisfaction after childbirth
Sharing caregiving predicts greater parental happiness and
sensitivity to the baby
But there is an exception, for employed lower-SES women who endorse
traditional gender roles
› When their husbands take on considerable child-care responsibilities,
these mothers tend to report more distress, perhaps because of
disappointment at being unable to fulfill their desire to do most of the
caregiving
›

A second birth typically requires that fathers
take an even more active role in parenting
› By caring for the firstborn while the mother is
recuperating and by sharing the high demands
of tending to both a baby and a young child

Consequently, well-functioning families with
a newborn second child typically pull back
form the traditional division of responsibilities
that occurred after the first birth