Teaching Notes
Troubleshooting
It’s okay – in fact, it’s GREAT! - to hit disconnect. This is where the
real exploration and healing comes!
In fact, those very moments in prayer where we hit disconnection
are exactly the places we want to be. Those are the entrances to
uncharted territory - an invitation to explore new territory with the
Lord, to watch him bring light and life into the darkness. That’s
the cutting edge of our spiritual growth and the forward
movement of the kingdom. This is where we get to see God
doing some of his best work! :0)
Disconnect happens when capacity is exceeded.
Our brains, like electrical circuits in a house, shuts down when
capacity is exceeded. Also like a house electrical system, this keeps
us from “starting on fire.” Thank God for disconnect!
Disconnect always tied to being or feeling alone. Shut down can
keep us from being relational. If nobody else comes alongside to
help us, attune, augment our capacity, we can’t handle it and are
unable to process. If someone does come along, often we’re able
to process and it doesn’t become trauma.
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Trauma is not how bad something is or seems on some absolute
scale of horribleness, but rather whether we have the capacity to
fully process the event. If we are unable to fully process it, it
becomes trauma, no matter how small it may seem.
Remember there are two types of trauma:
○ A Trauma = absence of good things (neglect, lack of joy in
home, no secure attachments built, no return-to-joy, etc.)
○ B Trauma = presence of bad things (what we usually think of
as traumatic experiences - abuse, accident, violence, natural
disaster, etc.)
○ Generally, “A” means one didn’t have the resources needed
to develop a healthily functioning brain, and “B” interrupts
the healthy functioning. So if you already have A and then
get B, you can see it would be much harder to deal with.
When trauma happens, processing is stuck at one or more brain
levels:
○ Misinterpretation (lies), vows, confusion at level 5
Ex: “It’s my fault that Mommy & Daddy got divorced.”
(No adult discovering the lie or correcting it.)
○ Lack of skills/self-awareness at level 4
Ex: Jessie constantly fighting with brother when playing
basketball together. Stuck in situation and unable to
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step out of it enough to think about alternative
responses or solutions. (No adult stepping in to model
a better way forward.)
○ Lack of joy bridges or relational connection at level 3
Ex: Isolating when in pain (No adult there to attune and
bring child back to joy, so as they grow up there’s no
experience or trust that connecting to others while in
pain could be helpful.)
○ Dissociation at level 2 - Unable to really connect with their
own emotions, body sensations, memories, etc.
Ex: Person can think of images from an abuse memory
without feeling anything, or the emotions and body
sensations come but there are no memory images or
thoughts that come along with them. (Pain exceeded
capacity at some time and nobody helped process it by
augmenting capacity.)
○ Lack of secure attachment at level 1
Ex: Always trying to perform, sense of identity comes
from doing well rather than being oneself. (Never felt
secure in or loved for who they were. Mother, father or
other caregiver was unable to provide secure
attachment.)
* * * Notice one major theme here is that trauma is tied to being
alone. This is why we always start with connection and check the
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connection regularly. Returning to trauma without connection is
re-traumatizing. * * *
Sometimes it’s tempting to get frustrated or angry or despairing
that our brains shut down and disconnect from the situation, or
from God, or from relationship. It can be painful and lonely,
especially if it extends over a long period of time and/or seems
like it will never change. It can take a lot of patience to deal with
shut-down, especially when it is pervasive and long-lasting. It’s
easy to feel like this prayer thing isn’t working for me, that God
and/or other significant people in life have abandoned me, or that
there’s something I’m doing wrong - or that I am fundamentally
wrong.
But here’s the good news we’re discovering: The parts of our brain
that process pain are not fixed. They’re changeable. God can
always change anything, of course - but in this case, we’re finding
that there are things we can do to help with this process. We can
cultivate connection, because God made our brains to grow in
relationship. He made our brains so that this relational part can
keep growing even when the other parts of our brain have
stopped growing. As we find that we’re not alone, that God and
others augment our capacity, then wherever we’re stuck on the
pain processing pathway, we can get unstuck. And it all happens
by staying in relationship. Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t that GOOD?
Isn’t that just like God? :0)
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What if can’t get a connection at all in the first place?
Work on helping recipient identify connection experiences in life:
○ Describe what connection is like, possibly sharing one of
your own experiences
○ Consider favorite things, like food, activities, vacation, pets,
significant people
○ Get RCs on – do RC Exercises, practice appreciation, attune
○ Practice basic brain skills – use THRIVE skills
○ Practice noticing emotions & moments of gratitude during
the week
○ Have recipient imagine what kind of situation would help
them feel connected (and see if it’s like any real experiences
from their life). Perhaps offer photos/images (magazine
cuttings) for them to choose from.
○ Offer lists of emotion words, body sensations, or even
cartoon faces showing emotions to help them identify what
they’re experiencing
Basic Reconnection Process
See Connection Process handout, step IX
 When something painful comes up, validate/affirm before
going back to connection
○ Pain is totally okay as long as they are connected!
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○ Once reconnected,
 Look at pain/disconnect from place of connection
and/or
 (If able) be present to pain & connection at the same
time
Pernicious Block (What, why, how)
PB Definition: Pernicious Immanuel Blockage – trauma-based
beliefs, choices or vows that stand in the way of perceiving the
Lord’s presence, experiencing being with him & receiving from him.
Often involves transferring early childhood traumatic experiences
and beliefs (whether A or B trauma) onto God. Transference =
putting someone else’s face on me, your pastor, your therapist,
your boss, God. You’re looking at God but you’re seeing someone
else. Doug (Karl Lehman demo video) put his mom’s face on God.
“My mom and dad, I couldn’t get connected with ‘em. I’m not
gonna get it from Mom and Dad. I never got it.” “Mom making
me go upstairs, go to bed at 7:00. I’ve always felt that she just
wanted to get rid of me - ‘I don’t want you, you’re just a pain. I
want you to go to bed so I can do what I wanna do.’”
The place where the PB pops up is a hopeless, helpless, dependent
child place. The recipient has no experiential sense that it’s their
problem but truly believes it’s about God. Result is that the
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painful emotion & the beliefs feel absolutely true about God &
that it’s his responsibility to fix it. The ball is in his court.
The result is a catch-22 ~ we’re unable to accept the very things
we need: God’s presence and his truth.
Look at list of beliefs, etc. from page 1 of handout: Why would I
want God to be with me if I thought that he
from handout)
(fill in the blank
? Do you see the problem?
 See Pernicious Block handout
 Also note how essential appreciation connection can be in
addressing the PB, since interaction directly with God can
trigger the disconnect
Other troubleshooting issues
Lies, vows, unforgiveness & repentance in a session
Lies & vows often underlie PB. See first page of PB handout.
Repentance, forgiveness, renouncing vows, discovering
lies/truth, etc. is important but doesn’t always need to be
addressed explicitly or sought out. Often we don’t need to
say an official prayer of repentance or forgiveness because
those things just happen as the Lord brings his presence,
light, love, security, and truth – and as the person works
through the 5 brain levels to process the experience.
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With bitterness/anger, it may be helpful to say:
 Do you want to keep that? Do you want it to stay in
place?
 Feel around and see if there’s a more vulnerable
emotion under the anger
Homework
REFLECTION
As you receive Immanuel, or just in daily life, notice when you are
starting to disconnect. How can you tell? Are there patterns to
your disconnection (certain emotions, people, situations that
trigger you)?
ACTION
When you disconnect, try inviting the Lord or refreshing a
connection experience. Start noticing when you get triggered as a
facilitator/observer of prayer as well.
NEW LEARNING
Watch the Doug video (20 min). Note how Dr. Lehman responds
to Doug’s disconnect. (This will not necessarily follow the exact
steps from today’s teaching, as it’s a different situation.)
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