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Letters and Memos that Carry
Negative News
8
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Learning Objectives
Identify the need for indirectness in
delivering bad news.
Recognize six components in an effective
indirect strategy.
Apply skilful writing techniques in refusing
requests.
Retain good will while refusing claims.
Demonstrate tact in refusing credit requests.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Before Applying the Indirect
Writing Strategy
Analyze the message.
Anticipate the reader’s reaction.
Know when to be direct
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Elements of the Indirect
Strategy
Buffer
Transition
Explanation
Bad news
Alternative(s)
Goodwill closing
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Develop a Good Buffer
Reduces or cushions the shock of negative
news.
Provides a neutral or positive opening that
does not reveal the bad news.
Is
 neutral
 upbeat
 relevant
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Build a Smooth Transition
Guides the reader to an explanation that
follows.
Plants a key word or idea in the buffer
and/or transition that leads the reader to
reasons for refusal.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Present the Explanation
Presents sound reasons for denying a
request.
Projects an unemotional, objective, and
helpful tone.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
De-emphasize Bad News
Avoid the spotlight.
Put the bad news in the middle of a
paragraph halfway through the letter.
Use a long sentence.
Don’t put bad news in a short, simple
sentence.
Put the bad news in a subordinate clause.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
De-emphasize Bad News
I realize that the new accountant, if hired, would help all
departments prepare tax information. You realize, however,
that because the fiscal year ends this month, most department
funds are earmarked. Although financial support for
additional help cannot be provided by the departments,
most employees are willing to devote extra time and effort
during tax preparation.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
De-emphasize Bad News
Use the passive voice.
Although financial support cannot be provided by the
departments for additional help, most employees are willing
to devote extra time and effort during tax preparation.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
De-emphasize Bad News
Be clear but not overly graphic.
Imply the refusal.
I realize that the new accountant, if hired, would help all
departments prepare tax information. You realize, however,
that because the fiscal year ends this month, most
department funds are earmarked.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
De-emphasize Bad News
Offer an alternative.
Although financial support cannot be provided by the
departments for additional help, most employees are willing
to devote extra time and effort during tax preparation.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Close With Goodwill
Provide courteous, pleasant, and forward-
looking closing that doesn’t refer directly to
the bad news.
We hope that the dedication of the present staff will contribute
to successful tax preparation.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Close With Goodwill
Avoid closings that
Refer to the bad news
Conclude with clichés
Invite further correspondence
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Buffer:
Identify previous correspondence
incidentally or in a subject line.
Begin with a neutral statement on which
both reader and writer can agree.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Friendly refusal for a cash refund
Dear Mr. Durante:
SUBJECT: YOUR MAY 15 LETTER
You are one of nearly 500 individuals who
took advantage of our membership campaign
and joined the MegaGym physical fitness
program. We’re glad that you have been able
to use our outstanding training equipment
and our workout classes for the past seven
months.
Identifies
previous
correspondence.
Neutral
statement.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Transition:
Plant a key idea or word that leads naturally
to the explanation.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
You are one of nearly 500 individuals who
took advantage of our membership
campaign and joined the MegaGym physical
fitness program. We’re glad that you have
been able to use our outstanding training
equipment and our workout classes for the
past seven months.
Key Word.
Because of the success of our membership
campaign, we have been able to add a
number of state-of-the-art equipment units.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Explanation:
Present valid reasons for the refusal.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Because of the success of our membership
campaign, we have been able to add a number
of state-of-the-art equipment units. This and
other improvements depend on the
contracts signed by individuals like you.
We hire employees, schedule workouts, and
purchase equipment based on the number
of contract memberships in effect.
Explanation
is logical
and
objective.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Bad News:
Soften the blow by de-emphasizing refusal.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
To allow membership contracts to be broken
would make it impossible for us to fulfill our
commitments to our employees and to our
members. Although your contract payment
cannot be refunded, we can deactivate your
membership. When you return from your
overseas assignment, you may resume your
active status and use the remaining five
months of your membership.
Refusal is
softened
by position,
wording,
and
alternative.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Closing:
Renew good feelings with a positive
statement.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Requests and Claims
Enclosed is a form for you to return regarding
the status of your membership. You can count
on MegaGym to help you get back in shape
when you are able to resume your
membership.
Goodwill
closing
focuses on
making
alternative
easy to
accept.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
Buffer:
Express appreciation for order or for credit
application.
Include resale information if appropriate.
Dear Ms. Rhodes:
We genuinely appreciate your application of April
3 for a Holt Platinum credit card.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
Transition:
Move from buffer to explanation logically.
Repeat key idea or word if possible.
We consider many factors in our evaluation process,
and the requirements for this type of card are
demanding.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
Explanation:
Describe submission of application to
credit-reporting agency.
Do not specify reasons for denial.
Use objective language.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
We consider many factors in our evaluation process, and
the requirements for this type of card are demanding.
After receiving a report of your current credit record
from TRW Information Services, we find that a
Platinum card cannot be issued at this time.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
Bad News:
Imply refusal or state it respectfully.
Offer alternatives, if possible.
Suggest possible extension of future credit
here or in the closing.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
After receiving a report of your current credit record
from TRW Information Services, we find that a Platinum
card cannot be issued at this time. If you feel your credit
report contains inaccurate information, please contact
TRW and follow the instructions on the enclosed sheet
to verify your report.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Writing Plan for Refusing
Credit
Closing:
Project an optimistic look to the future.
Thanks, Ms. Rhodes, for the confidence you have shown
in Holt. We invite you to continue shopping at our stores,
and we look forward to your reapplication in the future.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Credit Refusals That Retain
Business
Avoid language that causes hard feelings.
Include only factually correct information.
Avoid adding your opinions or suggestions.
Strive to retain customers on a cash basis
Prepare for possible future credit--without
raising false expectations.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Revise the following refusals so that the bad
news appears in a subordinate clause or
discuss strategies for revising.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
1. We cannot fill your order because we are
out of Model X-25 printer stands. We can,
however, substitute Model X-35, which can
be shipped immediately.
Although we are out of Model X-25 printer
stands, we can ship immediately Model X-35.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. Kable Connection cannot extend credit on
your Express Card number. However, we can
extend credit if you apply for a Kable Card.
Although Kable Connection cannot extend
credit on your Express Card number, we can
extend credit if you apply for a Kable Card.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Convert the following sentences from active
to passive voice.
1. I am unable to make a cash contribution
this year because of unusually high taxes.
A cash contribution this year is impossible
because of unusually high taxes.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
2. We cannot process your application this
month.
Your application cannot be processed this month.
3. The Transit Authority no longer authorizes
reduced fare for college students.
Reduced fares for college students are no longer
authorized.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Study the following openings of actual bad-news
letters from well-known companies (with names
changed). Discuss strategies for improving the
remaining letters—if they need revision. Use the
following questions to guide your discussion.
 Does
the bad-news letter follow an indirect
strategy?
 Does it open with a buffer?
 Does the letter require revision to retain goodwill?
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Ineffective:
Big Name Cable TV Company
Dear Customer:
In order to provide you with the best in customer service, to
maintain continued picture quality, and to continue delivering the
cable programming you currently enjoy, we must adjust our
rates.
Like every business in town, we are faced with increased
operating costs.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Improved:
Big Name Cable TV Company
Dear Valued Customer:
For many years Big name Cable TV Company has prided itself
on bringing you remarkable programming and responsive service
while keeping customer costs at the lowest in the cable industry.
Like every business in town, however, we are faced with
increased operating costs. In order to continue providing you
with the best in customer service, to maintain continued picture
quality, and to continue delivering the cable programming you
currently enjoy, we find it necessary to adjust our rates.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Ineffective:
Best-Known Garden Product Company
Dear Unhappy Vegetable Gardener:
I am very sorry that you are dissatisfied with the performance of
the PlentiFul plant food product in your garden. We take great
care in blending the finest water soluble plant foods. I am
inclined to believe that your dissatisfaction with our product is
due to some misunderstanding of how water soluble plant foods
should be used or due to some other factor in your garden
completely unrelated to the plant food.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Try Your Skill
Ineffective:
Big Pharmaceutical Company
Dear Mr. Manning:
Thank you for writing about our product, OptiTears. We can
certainly understand your concern over experiencing eye
discomfort following use of this particular bottle. It was helpful
of you to return the bottle of OptiTears in question so that our
laboratories can analyze the product for conformance to
specifications. Results of the analysis provide useful information
in our continual product evaluations and will be made available
to you.
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning
Essentials of Business Communication Third Canadian Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey and Brendan Nagle Copyright 2000 Nelson Thomson Learning