Listening is a Lost Art
For years, I have told my most unmotivated students that even if they were to come
to school without a notebook, pen or pencil that they could pass every class. All they
would have to do is to stop the unnecessary talking to friends in class and just sit
quietly and listen. Just show up and pay attention to what is being said. Just really
take note of other students’ questions and hear what the teacher’s response is and
they would pass the class. I have yet to see one student take me up on this. Like they
say, “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.” The truth is
that kids talk too much and listen too little. When did this behavior really begin to
take its toll on daily conversation?
I do not know, but I believe it happened when we began losing the magnificence of
the spoken word – of language. Today’s student conversations are so often void of
meaning that it is painful hearing them take place. People may not be as smart as
they used to be, but they certainly know when they hear something not worth
listening to.
Have you ever noticed how students will listen to one teacher and not another? If you
are around that teacher (who commands attention) when he or she is speaking to
students just listen – really listen. Try to hear what the message he or she is putting
forth in their choice of words or how the words are being said. I would venture to
guess that those words are pretty basic and straightforward, but are being said with
some degree of authority. They cut through the bull and their message shines like a
star. Their message is shining brightly. While the most important first step is to have
students hear to you speak, the other part depends on having the student hear you,
and listen to what you are saying.
The honest truth is that listening is such a lost art that most people do not even notice
it is missing! Have you ever silently stood around a group of students and watched
and listened carefully without participating? Notice anything unusual? If you listen
carefully, you would notice that most people do not listen to what others have to say.
You will see that one person will say something, followed up by another person
saying something, and finally someone else will say something after that. Not of it
connected. None of it related. If you listen carefully, you will notice that most
students do not respond to what someone else has just said. They are too busy
“chomping at the bit” waiting patiently (sometimes impatiently) to inject their two
cents into the mix. Often their responses are not even relative to the story line of
what is being said.
The “body” of the conversation is even so irrelevant to them that by the time they
make their contribution, their “slot” for an appropriate response has already come
and gone. They might have noticed that but… they were not listening! They had
nothing else on their mind but their own thought.
Listening is a critical part of communication. Being a good listener will not only help
you solve issues that arise at home, at work, and in general life duties, but it will help
you see the world through the eyes of those around you. By listening – really
listening – to what those around you have to say, you will be privy to the ideas and
insights that have brought you to the conversation in the first place. This applies to
students in particular. In other words, how will you know what to say in response to
another person’s comments unless you are actually listening to what they have to
say?
The problem is that we have this extraordinary language – English – and have spent
many years studying it, yet we are slowly losing the ability to use it with any skill or
depth. All too often, people in a conversation believe that

their viewpoint is the most notable one and that

they are smarter than those around them. (This comes from today’s “me”
society.)
The problem is that neither of these points is true. First, in order for a conversation to
take place all thoughts and ideas must rely on equal footing. This is an especially
valuable lesson for young people to learn, as this is the time they are forming
speaking patterns that will last them their lifetimes. This need to focus their attention
comes at an even more critical time when many students are learning English as their
second language. Because of these factors they need to “ante up” even more than a
native language learner. Paying attention by shutting off cell phones and other
electronic devices so as to remove all distractions is just the tip of the iceberg.
Second, there is, and will always be, someone out there who is smarter, prettier,
bigger, wiser, more fluent, etc… That’s life. It is fluid, and it changes.
Once students understand the faulty logic of these two points, they need to try –
really, really hard – to be quiet. This is easier than it sounds, and it is best achieved
in steps, especially for students, but here is an exercise they might attempt. Try to be
quiet for one minute and make a real effort to listen to what is being said. The next
time, make it two minutes. Build up your endurance; all the while listening actively.
Just as a language cannot learned passively, listening cannot be performed passively
either.
Many of us mistakenly believe that hearing and listening are the same. Well, there
are similarities, for instance, a loss of hearing and a loss of listening can both cause
significant problems. In school, a loss of either can cause a student to miss out on
valuable information – not just in the classroom setting either. How many times have
you had a student come up to you and say, “He just said such and such…” while the
“offender” comes along and says, “She did not understand what I was saying. I
meant…” Well, the first student did hear the words the second student was saying,
because “something” was successfully transferred. They heard each other, but did
not understand the meaning of what the other said because they were not listening.
This can be frustrating and produce predictable non-desirous consequences in school.
Everything we do in school is based on communication and listening of both students
and staff to take this information in and process that information. The listener needs
to be alert and consciously aware that
1. a message is sent to them for a reason, and
2. the information in that message may be hugely important, not so important,
or unimportant, but they will not know unless they listen carefully.
There are dozens, possibly hundreds, of reasons why people do not listen. From the
teacher’s perspective the “why” of not listening often falls into the “we are not in a
position to cure all social and behavioral shortcomings” category. Speak English
with me has this message. In order to increase students’ verbal English fluency we
need to have a procedure of a set of protocols that cover all bases in accomplishing
this task. Engaging students to become active listeners is a key component of Speak
English with me. This program does just that on so many levels, but the most salient
aspect we can never forget is that we are “the experts” in speaking English. We
need to set the tone and show our ELLs “how it’s done.”
So why is this so important – especially for our ELL’s?
If our new English learners – our ELL’s – are unable to hear, listen and comprehend
the conversation, the meaningful dialogue, with teachers and other English-speaking
students they will naturally gravitate toward native speaking conversations. We will
lose them. We are losing them. Do you really think that English Language Learners
come to school to speak in their native tongue? If they do, then why do we call them
English Language Learners?
If our ELLs could converse fluently in English with us, I think they would say,
“Hey teacher, I come here every day and am waiting for you to engage me!
Strike up a conversation with me! This is why I am here! You complain when
all I do is speak with my friends in Spanish (for example), but you don’t try to
engage me in meaningful dialogue! Say hi! Ask me something! I want to speak
with you in English, but I need you to help create a sense of urgency within me
to get me started! I am a little afraid and also… shy and embarrassed! Get me
started and I can take it from there! Will your job be done then, teacher? No,
but you’re getting warm. I still need you to speak with me every day to
reinforce the words I am learning! Did you learn French in high school? Can
you converse in French today? Of course not! Why? You haven’t practiced
every day. See this button on my shirt? It says. “Speak English with me.” If I
am wearing it, it is my way of asking you to open a dialogue with me – in
English! Come on now, let’s get started!”
Believe it or not, this is what I think most kids are thinking. They want to be
involved with us. They want to be heard! Being heard gives them something that so
many ELLs are missing. They want to feel important, and if not important, they at
least want to feel good. If not, what else would they be thinking?
“Get away from me. I come to school to speak in solely in my native language
to make sure I will never rise above being a minimum wage worker!”
Impossible! It may appear that way, but it is just not conceivable!
Finally, the words you say have to be clear, understandable and have purpose – just
like in the books we read. On that note allow me to close out this chapter with one
final thought on speaking English and books. How often during the day do you hear
conversations talking place similar to the ones you might hear in a book, a simple
novel, or better yet a classic novel?
I love reading. In fact, like so many of you, I have a hard time finding time to
squeeze a good book in between working, writing and speaking. Though I have
always been an avid reader, listening to audio books made me realize something
about the words written by some of my favorite writers: Michael Crichton, Dean
Koontz, etc… (I like horror.) A while back I was struck by this something. I was
struck by the words I was hearing in these books. I heard people communicating.
They were speaking, relaying dialogue back and forth; using sentences that actually
meant something to the people they were talking to or speaking with.
And then I realized that there is never a time in the books I read when there is
speaking without people listening. There is never a time when one person is speaking
with the other person, ignoring the words spoken, waiting to jump in like a jaguar on
its prey. There are never the kinds of conversations one might hear in the hallways of
our schools. If authors penned the words we hear in our students’ conversations, it
would be a slurry of twaddle. (Yes, a slurry of twaddle!)
When I listen to these stories, I can actually envision myself being right there where
those characters are and doing what they are doing. Whether I am hiding from the
bogey man or banishing some other source of evil in a novel, I can always feel, hear
and taste what they are experiencing. Why is this so? Why don’t we feel the same
way when a friend is telling us about what they are doing after school or where they
are going for lunch?
I would love to hear us speak more like they do in books that we read. I don’t mean
the proper Queen’s English (which is not even spoken by all in England.) I mean
people speaking with each other – and then listening. I have read many of the
classics, and in them, there is the same vein of conversation style that I hear in the
fateful words of my horror novels. Characters live for dialogue, but they exist but for
the spoken word. They are non-existent without the flow of thoughts in the form of
words from one person to another.
This is what we need to teach to students. Hopefully our students can learn to speak
better by taking the time to become better listeners. We need to demonstrate to our
students that books are not just words randomly thrown together. We can’t have
students read books – incorrectly believing the words are written solely for their
“paper” value – and then have teachers not emulate what the characters have
demonstrated. Readers are able to bond with the characters because of the dialogue
they have with each other and with other characters. We cannot say to the kids, “Oh
yeah, this is what good writing is all about,” and then verbally demonstrate
something entirely different to them in and out of the classrooms through
conversations with them as well as with other teaches. At the risk of sounding like a
broken record – we are the experts, and we need to demonstrate this expertise every
time we open our mouths in front of our students.
Note – Having observed successful teachers who run organized, well-managed
classrooms I find one vein of commonality. They all speak clearly, deliberately,
and with authority. Their words have a message – always. Every time they
open their mouths, they communicate (def. - to impart knowledge)
Words, both written and spoken, have existed and flourished for millennia. They
have survived for a reason. They are important. No, they are more than important.
They are essential if we are to adapt and survive. Speak English with me presents
the challenge of revitalizing oral communication/conversational English in today’s
culture; a culture considered by some to be a barren wasteland of communication –
lots of fluff and very little stuff – aided in no small part to texting, tweeting and
keyboarding.
By planting the seed of the spoken word, we sow the future of communication. We
will reap great fortune if as teachers, the planters, we plant the seeds of spoken
English, and nurture the growth and development of this distinctive harvest.
On the Speak English with me website, you will find my list of 100 Great Literary
Classics, along with some of my favorite Chinese books. Get your kids to read as
many of these as possible for two reasons. First, the SAT’s are right around the
corner, and it is always good practice to reference a classic on the SAT (even if it is
Aesop’s Fables.) Second, I am mortified by the fiction purchased by schools today. I
have repeatedly asked about these “books” (I am being generous) and why are we
distributing such graphic reading material (smut) to our ELL’s as a way of
introducing American literature?
I am told it is because the kids can relate to them. B.S.!
I have objected by saying that most of our students do not come from homes filled
with drug addiction, rape, incest, violent beatings, adultery, and worse, but my words
fall on deaf ears. Obviously whoever purchases this material does not understand
that, “what the mind believes the mind achieves.” Let us begin raising the bar ever so
slightly and push the classics (even if it is an abridged version) whenever possible.
Teachers, you must never forget, our students (especially our ELL’s) look up to you
to help guide them. Let’s show them how high they can reach
You are the experts, so once again, “Speak English with US.”