Billy Blue Sky
Third Draft
By John Köehler
© Copyright 2011 by John Koehler
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means –
electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other - except for brief quotations
in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the author.
john@koehlerbooks.com
757-289-6006
Preface
My name is Billy Blue Sky. That’s my nickname—everyone calls me that. My fancy name
is William Lincoln Pearlman, but I only use that on important grown-up papers. My mom gave
me my nickname when I was little ‘cause I used to go outside and shout , “Blue Sky! Blue Sky!
Blue Sky!” I remember doing that. I still like to run around outside, especially when the sky is so
blue, the way it gets sometimes right after a storm when it’s like that snap crackle pop cereal. But
I don’t say, “blue sky” anymore because I’m all grown up and grown-ups have to be serious.
But I don’t mind if you call me Billy Blue Sky ‘cause that’s my name.
I want to tell you a story about what happened to me two years ago, when I was just tenyears-old. It seems like a long time ago, but my mom says it feels like yesterday. Gampa says it
was just a few eye blinks ago, but I tried counting my eye blinks in an hour and it was more than
a few. So I told Gampa he was full of prunes. He laughed. I don’t like prunes.
I became famous. Famous is hard to explain to people. But I will try. One day you are
just a kid who is playing and nobody seems to notice you. Then, a few people got to know me
on account of I can heal people. Well, those people told other people and then the television
people got involved and then I became famous. Pretty soon, more people know you and talk
about you than you meet more people than you ever thought you’d meet.
It’s not hard or anything. I didn’t really do anything. It is their job to make you famous, so
they work really hard and you don’t have to do much. When you are famous, people sneak you
ice cream. I liked that. My mom got upset with it all, but I don’t think she was mad at me.
I love my mom. Her name is Linda. I think she may be the most special woman in the
entire world. She’s still not sure about God, which is a little surprising to me since we saw so
2
much magic. She’s the finest invention God ever made. She is awesome and bad-to-the-bone
cool. She is my mom. I know your mom is great, but my mom is the greatest! She is S-P-E-C-IA-L!
I’m special too. I’ve been called special all my life because I have Down syndrome. It
makes me look funny and sound funny and walk funny. Yup, I’m a funny guy. You may not
believe this, but I’m glad God let me have Down syndrome ‘cause I get to help others who are
like me, and people who are not like me. Being special is cool. And I’m really good at Special
Olympics basketball and I got three gold medals this year.
The story I’m going to tell you really happened, but it may be hard for you to believe
because some magic stuff happened. My Gamma calls it “God stuff.” I used to call God “Sky
Daddy,” but now I just call him God, or late at night in my bed when I’m all alone, I still call
him Sky Daddy, but I don’t like to tell others because it sounds like baby talk. God doesn’t mind
if we baby talk to him. He likes it.
Gamma says God looks just like me, but I think she was trying to be nice. Why would God
want Down syndrome? My Gamma says a smart heart is better than a smart brain. If everyone
had Down syndrome I think they would be happier, but I don’t know that for certain.
Down syndrome was named after a doctor who discovered it. His name was Dr. Down. My
Gampa likes to say “Get Down, Billy!” and then he dances around like a special needs man.
Gamma says, “Stop it Henry!” whenever Gampa does that, but it makes me laugh cause he’s so
silly.
Dr. Down found out that people like me are missing a chromosome, which is a tiny little
thing inside of us we can’t even see without a super powerful microscope. I looked in one once
3
and there were squirming things like baby crabs in there. Gave me the creeps. I don’t like the
idea of baby crabs living inside me, but the doctor said there were T-rex white cells that beat up
the crabs. I like having T-rex super heroes living inside me. That’s super cool!
If you want to read my story you have to believe in magic. I want you to pinky swear with
me. That means you mean it. You don't have to swear to God ‘cause my Gampa said God
doesn’t like it when we swear..
Now put up your pinky and pretend you’re hooking yours with mine. Now close your eyes
and wish I may and wish I might, I wish upon a star tonight. Say “I promise to believe whatever
Billy says ‘cause it is the truth, so help me God.’’
Because God will help you if you ask him to.
I hope you like my story. I asked my mom and dad to help me tell it, even though they
don’t really like each other.
Love,
Billy
4
Chapter 1
Linda
"Look, Mom," Billy said, excitedly pointing out the window. "Blue sky outside." He
touched his chest and said, "Billy Blue Sky inside."
He laughed, then grimaced as the tape holding the EKG leads pulled against his chest.
“Owee.”
My parents and I waited with Billy in his room at Riverview Hospital, a local children’s
hospital here in Virginia Beach. Summer vacation had just begun, so Billy’s friend Jerome was
there too. He and Billy were inseparable, the “Two Detectives’’ as they liked to call themselves.
They had been best buddies since the first grade and lucky for us, Jerome lived within walking
distance. So we saw a lot of him and his family.
The hospital makes the visit as fun as possible, with silly cartoon creatures on the wall,
cartoon patient gowns, and cartoons on the TV. Practically a Disney hospital! Jerome and Billy
had already picked out their characters and were goofing full time. Each room had a pullout
couch for parents to sleep over and plenty of extra seating to create a more casual setting, unlike
a typical hospital.
But you can only cover up so much. Billy was about to be wheeled into an OR for openheart surgery to correct a ventricular septal defect; a fancy name for a hole in his heart. Doctors
call it VSD. It is a common surgery for kids with Down syndrome, and many of his friends bore
5
the tell-tale vertical scars on their chests. But even though he was about to have his chest cracked
open, Billy was cracking jokes.
“Hey, Jerome,” he said, “I’m gonna have scars just like Frankenstein.” Jerome put his arms
out and started walking around like Frankenstein, bumping into things. He walked up to me and
acted like he was going to eat my head. Billy burst with laughter as he and Jerome high-fived
each other.
"Very funny, wise guys," I said. "Your doctors are going to stop by soon, Billy. What are
you going to tell them?"
"They are awesome!"
"What else?"
"Be careful."
We laughed, but Gamma broke down and sobbed. Billy doesn’t like to see people cry,
especially his Gamma. So, he motioned her over to the chair beside his bed. Jerome watched
cartoons with my dad, oblivious to the drama playing out beside them.
Billy brightened his Gamma’s mood doing what he always does, using simple honesty. He
had done this since he was a baby. My mom was sixty-five, and Billy was only ten, yet he was
the adult in that moment. He was the one going under the knife yet he was unafraid, ministering
to the needs of his favorite Gamma. That was Billy..
6
I looked at Billy as he talked with his Gamma and Gampa and I thought about all the times I
had pulled out photos of him to share with other parents. They all thought their child was the
most beautiful human on the planet. We would croon over each child’s photo, making sounds of
pleasure. The sounds would change when they looked at Billy. The sounds of pity came
unbidden. They looked at Billy and saw the tell-tale stigmatic marks of Down syndrome; the
shortened body, small hands and feet, a narrow, deep-set cast to his eyes. In person, they would
hear his slight speech impediment. They saw and heard imperfection and so they pitied me for
having to cope with such a burden. But, to me, Billy was perfect in every way, especially when
you added his spirit into the mix, — a glow that does not always convey from still photos.
Billy has some of his father’s looks, and mine too. He has my blond hair, though mine
needs a little help from a bottle these days. He has my lips, which according to some guys I
know,are show stoppers.. And best of all he has my eyes, a blue-green mix with yellow flecks
around the pupil. Amazing eyes. I tell him he stole my eyes and he says they were a gift. He’s
right, of course.
My cell phone rang and the caller ID said, “Steve.” Billy’s dad. My ex.
“Hello, Steve,” I answered flatly.
“Daddy!” yelled Billy, reaching for the phone. I dutifully handed over the phone and Billy
enjoyed a conversation with his dad. It was so sweet watching him talk, his face animated and
joyful. No question he loved his dad, and that was why Steve was allowed to keep coming.
When Steve decided to leave for good on Billy’s first birthday, we worked out a mutually
agreeable arrangement. He gave me the house, and made the house payments, in return for no
7
future alimony or child-support payments. He kept the right to see Billy once a month for a full
day. While I did want Billy to stay connected with the father he loved, I wondered why Steve
bothered.
Steve had been pretty good, I had to admit, about taking Billy around to fun places, and he
seemed to have developed a better tolerance of Billy’s disability. Even so, he missed some
months. I didn’t mind, but it would put Billy in a blue mood for a day. He loved his daddy and
looked forward to their time together.
I put up with it for Billy’s sake, not Steve’s. Any man who would walk out on his wife and
son over a disability didn’t rate very high in my book. I had lost trust in him and he knew it.
That’s why he accepted the arrangement and didn’t push for more. He didn’t want the
responsibility of caring for Billy or being a real dad to him. To Steve, being a dad meant giving
Billy his blood and his name, nothing more.
I often wonder why I married a loser like Steve. I must have been naïve. We met at
Virginia Tech. He was a junior and I was a lowly freshman. He was so handsome. Honestly, he
took my breath away. He was studying to be an engineer but he seemed a lot more fun than the
other stiffs in that curriculum.
Steve always said he had “targeted me for acquisition” when he first laid eyes on me. The
key word in that case being “laid.” I confess to enjoying being his target. We would take canoe
trips on the New River and dance at Shadows, the only bar with live music in Blacksburg. He
courted me with a passion that was at times overwhelming. Did I mention he was gorgeous?
8
Steve graduated and took a job in the DC area working for a government contractor. We
both dated other people for a while, but we stayed in touch. By the time I was ready to graduate,
we had agreed that I would move in with him and look for a job in Washington. Two years later
we were married and moved to Virginia Beach so Steve could work for a Navy contractor. It
was a glorious time. A year later Billy along came and I was the happiest woman ever.
Soon, my joy turned to ash.
Steve seemed to resent the bond between Billy and I. I think he resented it because he just
could not relax with Billy. He held Billy like a bag of groceries. Billy’s disabilities were obvious
early and Steve reacted by spending less time at home and less time with us when he was home.
In the end he couldn’t get comfortable with Billy’s disabilities. Perhaps it hurt his ego. I don’t
know, and he never said. The more I asked him about it, the more he resented me. Whatever the
case, Billy was the innocent wedge that separated us.
In the end, Steve failed my ultimate test to determine whether someone was a good person.
The Billy Test. If someone reacted favorably to Billy, even if they were uncomfortable and
honest about it, then they would get the thumbs up. Steve was not only uncomfortable around his
son, he was embarrassed by him. This infuriated me. Think wounded saber-toothed tigress!
It was painful for me to discover that, after eight years, the man I thought I knew had a hole
in his character a mile wide. When his old firm invited him back to to Washington, Steve
couldn’t pack his things fast enough. He pretended like the job was a promotion, but I found out
later the position paid less money. Suddenly, it was just Billy and me.
9
Billy hung up with his dad at the hospital just as Dr. Marty walked in with a younger
doctor, introducing him as Dr. Jim. The new doc was about my age and very handsome. He had
big, beautiful puppy eyes, perfect for kids I guessed, and not so bad for single moms either.
Thick curly hair, the kind you’d see on a Greek statue, and a matching goatee. He was tall, kind
of lanky, and had an athletic swagger about him. I noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding band.
After nine years of pushing men away, I was surprised by the thrill I felt when I shook hands and
looked into his eyes. And a little guilty that I was attracted to a guy while my son was about to
have open-heart surgery.
"Hi, Dr. Marty!” said Billy, patting the bed. “Come sit with me."
Dr. Marty sat beside Billy and gave him a stern look. "What's all the laughing going on
around here, young man?"
"I'm telling jokes ‘cause Gamma’s sad."
"So you're a comedian? Maybe after your surgery you could tell some of the other kids here
at the hospital some jokes. Think you’d want to do that, Billy Blue Sky?"
"Is the Pope Catholic?"
Everyone laughed, but Mom elbowed Dad in the ribs, because Billy had picked the
expression up from Gampa, one of many. Dr. Marty motioned to the other doctor. "Billy, this is
Dr. Jim. He's a cardiologist. Bet you don't know what that means."
"Bet I do! He's a heart doctor." Billy pushed Dr. Marty off the bed and patted it again,
waving for Dr. Jim to sit. He did and Billy took his hand and held it.
10
"Hello, Dr. Jim. I’m Billy Blue Sky." He leaned forward and looked closely into Dr. Jim's
eyes. "What’s your puppy’s name?"
Dr. Jim looked surprised and flustered, and glanced over at Marty and me for support. My
parents and I laughed. This wasn't the first time that Billy had intuited things about people in
unusual ways. Some might say Billy had good guesses or luck, and others might say he was
psychic. I didn't really know, but after ten years I was used to it, putting it down as just another
Billy thing.
"We just got a lab puppy for my daughter’s fourteenth birthday," said Dr. Jim to Billy.
"How did you know that?"
"I saw her in your heart."
A certain silence filled the room. Mom and I called it "Billy Time," when things slowed
down and took on another dimension. Mom called it “God stuff,” but I just called it “Billy.”
Dr. Jim stood, attempting to recover his professional bearing. He consulted his chart, then
said, "Billy, when I see you in the operating room, we’re going to have you breathe some special
air that will put you to sleep."
"What will Billy dream?"
Dr. Jim smiled. "Maybe you'll dream about my puppy. You can take her for a walk. Her
name is Velvet because she feels soft, like velvet."
Billy smiled and turned to me for the okay. I gave him the nod, so he said, "Billy will walk
Velvet.”
11
Billy hooked Dr. Jim’s pinky with his. “Pinky swear!"
"What am I swearing, Billy?"
"That you wake Billy up!”
***
If you want to know the way to break a woman’s heart, cut open the chest of her son and
perform surgery. Those four hours were a red-hot poker on my soul and I had to remind myself
to breathe. It was awful. Everybody kept a close eye on everybody else and we passed each
minute. Billy, on the other hand, got to dream the entire time, and it turns out he did take Dr.
Jim's puppy for a walk.
Billy was unconscious and in recovery for more hours than I can remember. He had drain
tubes coming from his chest and was breathing with a ventilator. Day faded into night as the
hours passed. I stared at his beautiful face, waiting to see his eyes glow and his mouth smile.
The nurses who checked on him kept reassuring me that Billy’s vitals were stable. The
doctors told us the surgery went well. I believed them, but I needed to hear my child before I was
convinced.
Finally, Billy awoke, mouthing some words in a groggy, hushed tone.
"Can we get a puppy, Mom? Like Velvet?"
12
Then he grimaced as the pain hit him. His hands flew to his chest and he cried, "Owww!" I
took his hands and soothed him while he whimpered. A pretty young nurse walked in, saw that
Billy was awake and asked how he felt.
“It hurts, here,’’ Billy said motioning to his chest.
“Billy, my name is Nurse Bonnie. I’m going to make the pain go away. But it will make you
really sleepy."
The nurse gave me a reassuring smile, knowing I could use the rest, too.
"I dreamed about Velvet," said Billy to no one, lying in bed and staring into space.
Bonnie hung the bag of medication and started it dripping into Billy's IV. Soon he relaxed,
his breathing slowed and his eyes grew heavy. He drifted off to sleep with a small smile on his
face, while I leaned on my mother’s shoulder.
Later Dr. Jim came in to see how Billy was doing.
“Most kids,” Dr. Jim told me, “do fine with the mixture of anesthesia we use, but I like to
watch out for any unusual symptoms. Everything looks good for Billy. The surgery was perfect,
if I do say so myself.”
“I’d like to take Billy over to the oncology floor in a day or two,” he said. “Marty’s idea.
We think it will be good for him and could be really good for the kids over there to get infected
with his natural humor. Some of them are terminal. Do you think Billy would be okay with
that?” He gave a sad smile. “Are you okay with that?”
13
“I think that’s fine,” I replied. “Billy and I have talked about dying before. He knows more
about it then I do, that’s for sure.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Billy is an exceptional child, Dr. Jim.”
“Call me Jim.”
“Oh, okay. I’m Linda.” I put out my hand and we shook. “Nice to meet you, again! With
spiritual stuff and things from the Bible, Billy’s really smart. Almost savant smart.”
“Did you teach him?”
“No. Well… yes. Maybe a little.’’ I tried to think back on how Billy learned those things. I
remembered him asking questions from books he was reading, and discussions about what they
meant. He always had great questions, especially about Bible stuff. So he would keep digging,
and often my mom and dad would help him too.
“All I really did was make books available, including the Bible. He wanted to know what it
was and I told him it was a book about God. That was about two years ago.”
“So he’s been reading the Bible for two years?”
“Yes. And he talks to God too. I guess you could call it prayer. It’s really sweet. He calls
God his Sky Daddy.
“What happened to his real daddy, if I may ask?”
14
“He left on Billy’s first birthday. He didn’t want to be the full-time dad of a kid with Down
syndrome. Nice guy, huh?”
“No, he’s not a nice guy.”
“What about you, Doc? No ring. No time for social life?”
His face softened with sadness, and he stared past me with a distant expression. I wanted to
stroke his face, but instead said, “I’m sorry.” I knew something bad had happened, and mentally
kicked myself for being impulsive about things of the heart. Billy and I were alike in that way.
“My wife died five years ago. Breast cancer. I never wanted to be with anyone since then.
Never felt right for me.” I noticed the use of the past tense “wanted.”
“Me neither,” I replied. “But anything’s possible.”
He stared openly at me for a moment, then visibly collected himself. “I’ll check on Billy
again the day after tomorrow. See if he’s up to taking that trip down to visit the kids. See you
later, Linda.”
I watched him walk out of the room and realized that my heart was racing.
15
Chapter 2
Billy
I liked being in the hospital with Mom and Gamma and Gampa. And my best friend,
Jerome. I wasn’t scared but Gamma was. She was okay after I gave her a hug and we talked. If I
close my eyes I can see that day and the people. My family. The doctors and nurses. That’s
pretty cool to see things with my eyes closed. Almost like magic. But everyone can do it so
maybe it’s not really magic. Or maybe everyone can do some magic? I don’t know about that.
I got to pick out which gown I wore. I called it a dress ‘cause it felt like a long dress even
though I’m not a girl, but Mom called it a gown. I picked out the Spiderman one ‘cause Spidey
rules and Jerome said he liked that one best too, and too bad he didn’t need surgery ‘cause then
we could wear the same uniform. I still wear Spiderman underwear, but don’t tell anyone. My
unders are cool as a moose. Gampa taught me that. Gampa is seventy six and still “sprightly.” I
think that means he can jump around and stuff.
Underneath my gown was NOTHING! Gampa said I was “naked as a jaybird.” I showed
Gampa and Jerome my butt and Jerome called me “white bread” and I called him “chocolate.”
That made me laugh, which pulled the tape on my chest again. That made me say, “Owee!”
again and Gamma yelled at Gampa to stop making me laugh, but he said it was Jerome’s fault
and Gamma said, “Henry” real loud, so we stopped joking around. So me and Gampa and
Jerome finger swore together and agreed only to smile. It was pretty hard ‘cause Jerome and
16
Gampa are super funny, especially with faces and voices and stuff, so I told them to stop making
faces and Gamma yelled again. “’Henry!’”
Lots of other kids got their hearts fixed like me. When we went swimming we looked like a
bunch of zippers. We said, “Zip!” and fell in the water. I love the water and I’m on the Special
Olympics swim team. I don’t like the backstroke ‘cause I can’t see where I’m going and once I
hit my head and it really hurt. I bled in the pool and they made everyone get out. I felt bad but
they said it wasn’t my fault.
I remember my mom sitting in a chair next to my bed, looking at me. I looked back at her.
Mom is pretty. Guys look at her all the time, but when I tell her they are looking she says “No
way, Jose.” But I say “yes way, Jose,” ‘cause they do look at her ‘cause she’s pretty. She has
blond hair that goes down to her shoulders. Not yellow-blond but like honey when Gamma pours
it out and it’s still in the air with the sun shining through it.
Mom has a mouth that is “made for smiling” as Gampa likes to say. I wish she smiled more
with her heart. Sometimes when she smiles at me I can see way down deep inside her and she’s
not smiling down there. And I can feel it when I touch her; I can feel the truth. That makes me
sad. I try to make her smile, but sometimes I think she misses my daddy.
But she says no, she doesn’t miss him. I ask her could she get me another all-the-time
daddy one day and she says “maybe.” Which is mom talk for no way, Jose. I like my mom’s eyes
the best. They are sparkle eyes, just like mine. They are pretty green and blue with little bits of
yellow around the black dot thing in the middle.
One time a guy called Mom a “fox,” and Gampa and I laughed so hard, and now we call
her “Foxy Lady,” but sometimes she doesn’t like that. Sometimes she is far away, like she was
that day in the hospital, when I was ten.
17
When Gamma started crying she was sitting over there alone in her chair. It was like a
cloud came into the room and froze my heart like the Ice Man guy on TV who can freeze up
anything he breathes on. He’s kind of creepy and I would never pick his super power.
I patted the bed and waved Gamma to come over, and she did come over and sat right on
the bed. We all gave her a “group grope” as Gampa likes to call it. I put my hand on Gamma’s
heart and I could feel it beating like an Indian drum. I closed my eyes and asked Sky Daddy to
give Gamma her joy juice back. That’s what she calls it when she goes to church and cries real
good and gets “filled up.” I don’t know what joy juice is, but I like grape juice a lot. I can drink
three cups in a row without stopping. One time Jerome and I drank a big bottle of Pepsi with
Gampa and we burped and peed for two hours.
My arms began to tingle while I was touching Gamma and I knew that Sky Daddy was
there. I could feel him roll down my arms and into Gamma. It felt like warm water pouring out
of me. I knew that she was sure gonna feel better soon. And she did. She started laughing and the
sun came out again right in my room, but it was the kind of sun you can see with your eyes
closed. I thanked Sky Daddy and opened my eyes to see my Gamma all caught up and her joy
juices were coming out of her eyes like a faucet. She was feeling better.
“Don’t cry, Gamma,” I told her. “I’m coming back. Billy’s not scared.”
“I know you’re not scared,” said Gamma, tears still slowly rolling down her cheeks.
“Well, then why are you sad?”
“Because I don’t like seeing my favorite grandchild in the hospital.”
“But Gamma,” I said, wiping the tears off of her face. “I’m your only grandchild!”
18
Chapter 3
Linda
Within two days Billy was walking around his room and trying to sneak out into the
hallway. Strangely enough, his pain had diminished so much that he was completely off of the
pain meds and was only taking the occasional Tylenol. By the third day he was climbing the
walls, driving me crazy with a million questions about the kids he was going to visit with Dr.
Jim.
“Why does Dr. Jim want Billy to talk to the kids?” he asked me.
“Well, sweetie, these kids are pretty sick, and a lot of them are sad. They don’t feel so happy
in their heart like you do. I think Dr. Jim is hoping you can make them smile and laugh at some
of your jokes.”
“Billy can do that. Where’s Dr. Jim?”
“He’ll be here soon, Billy Blue Sky. So just hold your horses.”
“I want a horse!”
Dr. Jim walked into the room pushing a wheelchair and announced with an affected British
accent, “Your chariot has arrived, sir.”
19
Billy jumped out of the bed, pulling his EKG wires and tipping the IV stand over. Dr. Jim
and I both reached for it and bumped heads. I fell backwards and he caught me, along with the
IV stand. We were tangled with the tubing and close together. He was blushing, but he didn’t let
go of me right away. I liked the feel of his hands on me. My skin tingled where he touched me
and we both started laughing at the same time.
Billy’s head was swiveling back and forth between Dr. Jim and me as we separated. He was
smiling and pointing his finger at Jim. “Dr. Jim, you like my mom.” It was a simple statement of
fact. Jim blushed even more, and tried to stammer a reply. Billy broke into gales of contagious
laughter, and soon we were all caught up in it. I noticed that Jim did not deny the accusation, and
I was glad. Dr. Jim scanned Billy’s chart on the mobile PC cart. “Okay, wise guy,” he said. “I
think you are doing well enough for a quick trip to visit some kids.”
“Yay!” said Billy. He sat in the wheelchair and patted the arms impatiently. “Let’s go.”
“Yes, Master,” said Dr. Jim in his best Igor voice, pushing Billy out the door. “I hear and
obey.”
I followed behind, until Billy yelled, “Mom, mom, hold my hand!”
“Yes, Master,” I said, also in an Igor voice. Billy giggled.
“You sound like monsters! Talk normal,” he said.
“Yes, Master,” we replied.
We rode the elevator to the third floor and made our way down to the oncology area. We
turned into a room with a rainbow poster on the door. A young girl with a bald head was lying in
20
bed, asleep. Several IVs and leads were attached to her, and monitors displayed her vital signs.
Jim had said she was eleven, but she looked much younger, asleep and without hair.
A woman stood from where she had been sitting beside her daughter’s bed. She looked to
be about my age and managed a slight smile.
“Hello, Dr. Jim,” she said.
“Hi, Janine. This is Linda Pearlman. And this is the young man I told you about, Billy Blue
Sky.” Janine came around the bed and knelt down beside Billy. He took her hand and looked into
her eyes. Some say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and with Billy I think that may be true.
He sees into their souls and can feel them, feel their dreams.
“Hello, Janine,” said Billy. He looked around and said, “God is here.” He said it with such
assurance and simplicity, and for him it was just the truth. Janine stared at him, with a shocked
look sketched on her face. Then a tear rolled down her face and she nodded her head at Billy.
“Yes, He is here, Billy. I just wish he would heal my Maggie.”
Billy rolled to the bed and took Maggie’s hand. He looked at her and smiled his far away
Billy smile. Then he closed his eyes and was perfectly still. We watched and waited. The lights
in the room flickered and dimmed for just a moment.
Maggie’s eyes opened. She looked confused and frightened at first. Then she saw Billy and
visibly relaxed, a tired smile sneaking out. They talked softly together while we watched and
listened. It was simple and magic. Maggie closed her eyes for a while, then asked, “Am I in
21
Heaven?” Billy shook his head no, moving aside so Maggie could see us. Maggie looked at us
all, her face softening when she saw her mom.
By now Janine was silently sobbing against my shoulder, and I was holding her up. I rubbed
her back and whispered encouragements to her. The four of us were acting like we had known
each other all our lives. It was another case of Billy Time. Jim moved in closer to the bed to
listen.
As Billy rolled away from Maggie’s bed, Janine composed herself and turned back to her
daughter, who was sitting up in bed, a thousand-watt smile lighting her face. She had not seen
that kind of smile on her daughter’s face for months. She hugged Billy, who was slumped down
in his wheelchair, half asleep.
Then she came to me and took my hands. “I don’t know what just happened here, but I
haven’t seen Maggie this happy in months. Billy must have some kind of special gift.”
I looked down at my now sleeping son, and nodded my head. “Yes, he does.”
While we had been talking I had noticed how a sunbeam was lighting the wall. It moved
quickly towards the door, which exploded with light and glowed.. It was amazing. Then it faded
and there, leaning against the still glowing door, was a young woman in a doctor’s white coat,
looking over at the kids with a soft smile.. I had never seen her before, yet felt like I knew her.
She was very young to be a doctor, I thought, still in her twenties. She was a classic
European beauty with golden hair elegantly coiffed and held up by what looked to be a silver
comb. She was concentrating on Billy and Maggie and did not notice me, at first. Then she saw
me looking at her and smiled. She nodded her head at me, as if to say, “Some kids, aren’t they?”
22
I walked over and introduced myself to her, while Jim chatted with the kids and Janine. We
shook hands and I looked into her eyes and forgot myself for a moment. It was like I was in a
dream. Then she laughed and the mood was broken.
“I am so pleased to meet you, Mrs. Pearlman,” she said in a delightful French accent. “My
name is Gabrielle Gardienne. Billy is a wonderful boy. He is lucky to have you as his mama.”
She put her hand on my arm when she said “Billy” and I felt the electricity of her touch. I was a
little frightened, yet drawn to her.
“I’m part of the exchange program with a hospital in Paris,” Gabrielle continued. “I am
doing a study about the effect of faith in medicine.”
Billy walked over and hugged Gabrielle. I quickly explained he often did that with people
and she said it was okay, she loved it. They spoke briefly, and then she left. Watching her leave,
I realized I wanted to know more about her. The fact that she was observing Billy and working
with Jim didn’t help. I was probably feeling a little jealous.
I joined Jim and we chatted a while with Janine, and then rolled Billy out and headed back
to his room. He fell asleep again in the hallway.
“I’ve never seen anything quite like what Billy did back there,” said Jim, as we rolled Billy
down to the elevator.
“Billy’s always been special that way,” I mumbled.
“What way?” asked Jim. “Getting inside people’s dreams or doing magic?”
23
I stopped and he did too. “Come on, Jim. We’re not talking about magic or anything else.
Billy has an infectious happiness. He lights people up with his smile.
“You think?” asked Jim, sarcastically. He took my arm and we continued walking. “We
need to get this guy in bed for some rest. Whatever he did to Maggie really drained him.”
We walked the rest of the way to Billy’s room in comfortable silence, inside our own
thoughts. I really was confused about what had happened but, then again, Billy had been
surprising me his whole life. He was, in fact, a magical kid. But now he seemed to have some
kind of new gift I had never seen before.
***
Billy
My mom met Dr. Jim and acted like a girl. It was funny. It was at the hospital when he came
to visit with Dr. Marty. Dr. Marty could do card tricks and made me a balloon animal once; I
think it was a dog. He made one for Jerome too, but it popped on the way home and I told
Jerome it was just the head of a dog. He liked it. I loved Dr. Marty. He’s the best.
Mom used to tell me that she didn’t want to date guys anymore, that I was her man. Even
though I wasn’t a man.. Sometimes we went out for play dates, but I knew it was just pretend. I
24
knew my Mom liked guys, but she was just worried ‘cause she said she got hurt by my daddy
and didn’t want to get hurt all over again. He hurt her heart bad, she said. I wish I could fix it, but
some things can’t be fixed by little kids.
When Dr. Jim came into my room, Mom turned red. I’m talking like a red balloon. Bright
red! Mom never turns red unless she is mad at me or maybe Gampa. She gets mad at Gampa,
turns red, and stomps her feet a lot when he tells me grown-up stuff. Then Gamma picks on him
too and says “Henry!” like it's a naughty word. Someone always seems to be mad at Gampa.
Sometimes Mom gets mad at me, like I said. Good thing she forgives me over and over
again. Once I told her she had to forgive me four hundred and ninety times ‘cause that’s what it
says in the Bible, and I know ‘cause I added it up with Jerome. We used a calculator. Seven
times seventy equals four hundred and ninety. I figure I have at least four hundred more
chances. I worry about what could happen if I reach four hundred and ninety. Please, God, don’t
ever let that happen.
I never ever saw my mom turn red over a guy, but she did for Dr. Jim. I could tell he liked
her too ‘cause he kept looking at her real close and smiling a lot. His teeth were white. Mom’s
hands started flying all over and she was touching her hair and she was laughing too loud when
he said something funny. I remember that.
“Dr. Jim,” I said. “You like my mother!”
My mom laughed and Dr. Jim stuttered just like my friend Tommy. He takes medication so
he doesn’t stutter too much. Don’t ask Tommy to say Brontosaurus or any big word with a B
‘cause it will make you laugh and that’s not polite.. Unless you’re his friend, in which case you
25
can laugh and he won’t hit you. I don’t think Dr. Jim has a stuttering problem, so it was okay to
laugh.
Dr. Jim turned red and we all laughed, and I said, “You are so busted.” My mom taught me
that and I like to say it, but not all the time ‘cause it can backfire.
A few days after my surgery, Dr. Jim came back and took me down to visit with Maggie. I
got to ride in a wheelchair, which was cool. The place where the kids with cancer stayed smelled
bad to me. It was kind of spooky but I wasn’t really scared.
Maggie was fast asleep when we got there. She looked like a pretty little bald-headed
princess lying on her bed. She was so skinny I could see through her skin. When I saw her I felt
funny and I started to tingle all over. I was like, “uh oh, Billy, here it comes again!” I have felt
tingle stuff since I was a baby. The first time it happened I was little and I was scared. Then I
figured out it was Sky Daddy, so pretty soon I grew to like it. It is a feeling like angel dust
pouring on my head. It makes my hairs stand up at attention like soldiers. It feels like someone
big is breathing on me and inside of me. I get warm all over like when Mom lets me sit in the hot
tub with the hot water bubbling and my knees are wobbly when I try to stand up. First the tingle,
then Sky Daddy. It happens like that.
When Sky Daddy arrives, all bets are off. I learned that expression from Gampa..
With Maggie, the tingle was double strong. Double trouble like my Gampa says! Only there
was no trouble with Maggie, except she was gonna die soon.
When I saw Maggie I rolled up to her bed and put my hands on her arm. I closed my eyes
and the tingle grew inside of me, just like a superhero with power rays shooting out of my hands.
26
Then I saw Maggie inside my head. She had all her hair and she wasn’t sick. She looked like a
Barbie doll princess and I wanted to marry her. Please don’t tell her that. We held hands and
skipped down a hill, kicking a ball. I loved her. I remember big butterflies and the sounds of
birds and a big, blue sky. Sky Daddy was looking at us from the bottom of the hill. He had his
arms out and Maggie was running to him. Then I felt a snap and opened my eyes. I went from
one dream to another.
Maggie was looking right at me and I knew my dream had been real.
“Hello, Billy,” she said in a sleepy voice. “You were in my dream. We were running down a
hill, chasing a rainbow ball. How did you get in my dream?”
“Magic!” I said, clapping my hands. I was happy that we both had the same dream ‘cause
that kind of magic only comes from Sky Daddy. I was glad we got to share it. I wondered, did
she know I wanted to marry her in the dream? And still did a little.
“Who was the nice old man waiting for us down at the bottom of the hill?” Maggie asked
me.
“Sky Daddy.”
Maggie closed her eyes, got real sad and started to cry. She said, “I’m supposed to die soon.
I’m stage four and that’s not good.” I guessed stage four means you die soon and that would
make anyone sad. But I wasn’t sad for Maggie anymore. I had seen her in the dream and she was
RUNNING!
“Maggie,” I told her. “In the dream you weren’t sick.”
27
“Oh,” she said.
“Do you believe in magic, Maggie?” I asked her. She pulled the blanket over her head.
“I think magic is just make-believe,” she told me from under the covers.I think she was
ready to die but I was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen.
I pulled her covers back and put my hand on her tummy.
“Sky Daddy says magic is inside you.”
“What kind of magic?” she asked me.
“His.”
She sat up some in her bed. I heard her mom make a noise about that, like it was a big deal
that Maggie was sitting up in bed.
“What else did he say?” she asked me.
“He said you were his best, favorite girl.” I didn’t hear Sky Daddy say that, but I could see
the way he looked at Maggie. His eyes were shining bright for her and he had his arms out for
her, not me. I could hug Sky Daddy any old time, but this time was for Maggie.
She held my hands like in the dream.
“Did he really say that, Billy?”
“Yes, he did.”
“Is he God?”
28
“Yes, he is He’s everywhere.” I remember pointing around the room. .”
And that’s how I got to meet Maggie and she started believing in magic again.
29
Chapter 5
Linda
My mom was pulling a shift at the hospital with Billy the next morning, while I took care of
some household chores: laundry, bills, cleaning. Then I spent an hour talking with the office. I
was a private investigator with a staff of three; two in the field and one administrative. Our
biggest client was a huge, silk stocking law firm. We stayed busy because we were relentless
about digging up information. I called the staff “my little diggers.”
My phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. I put on my investigator voice and
answered.
“This is Linda Pearlman.”
“You sound very professional,” said Dr. Jim.
“Hello, Dr. Jim. You know I actually am a professional,” I said, slightly more sarcastic than
I intended.
“I bet you’re good at whatever you do. What do you do?”
I gave him the two-minute drill on what I did. I was happy to hear from him, but also
concerned about his call.
“Is everything okay with Billy?” I asked..
30
“Oh, yes. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He sounded contrite, and I relaxed. “He’s right on
track for an early release. His heart is strong and he’s healing exceptionally well. Quite fast, in
fact. I talked to Marty and we’re talking about booting Billy out of here in two days.”
“Wow, that’s a week early.”
“His progress is miraculous, Linda.”
“How’s Maggie?”
“I’m not supposed to talk about other patients, Linda.”
“Oh my God, did she die?” I blurted. I was horrified and worried how Billy would handle
her death..
“No, no, she didn’t die. Just the opposite, in fact. She’s showing very strong signs of
recovery.”
“But she was stage four, wasn’t she? You said she was terminal.”
“She was terminal.”
“This is great news. Did you start her on some new chemo?”
“No, it wasn’t the chemo, Linda. Her white count was so low we couldn’t try her on
anything new. She was slated for hospice care.”
“I don’t understand. So what was it?’’
31
I could hear him breathing on the other end of the line. The silence stretched out. Then he
cleared his throat and said, “Linda, I’m a doctor, a scientist. I make my decisions based on clear
evidence. What happened to Maggie goes against all my medical training. We are in the land of
UFOs and unicorns. It’s a UMM.”
“What’s a UMM?”
“An Unexplained Medical Miracle. It happens sometimes. Not very often, but it does
happen. People get better when they shouldn’t, and we don’t know why. We can only guess.”
“So, what’s your best guess about Maggie?”
Again there was silence. I was beginning to feel frightened. “Jim, what’s going on?”
“Linda, I’m in a bit of new territory here, so be patient with me.”
“Of course, Jim.”
“Did Billy ever talk to you about the miracles in the Bible?”
“All the time. He calls it God Magic. I call it hocus pocus.”
Jim let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I call it, too.” He paused, struggling for the
right words. “My whole life, my whole career has been built around the certainty of science. I
have seen the right diagnosis, the right combination of chemicals, the right educated guess beat
tremendous odds and win the day.”
“Maggie’s white blood count has quadrupled and the lesions on her lungs have shrunk. Her
hemoglobin has completely turned around. And her hair is starting to grow again.”
32
The hair thing got me. The idea of Maggie’s hair growing back made me choke up with joy
and wonder.
“You’re kind of scaring me here, Jim. What am I missing?”
“I think Billy did it.”
I laughed nervously. Here was another Billy convert. He just wasn’t used to Billy’s
powers, and I told him that.
“I’m not just talking about Billy’s sunny personality and his obvious powers of persuasion,
Linda. Or his emphatic gift to help people feel better. Those are natural gifts and we all have
some level of those.”
“He’s a kid, Jim! He’s not some kind of weirdo psychic. He’s a kid.”
“Easy, Linda. I’m on your side here.”
“Are you saying that my son healed that girl?”
“There is no other explanation, scientific of otherwise,” Jim stated forcefully. “I have been
racking my brain for an explanation of her recovery in the natural world. I believe Billy did it.”
“My son is a healer.” That was the first time I said it aloud with conviction. It was an
overwhelming idea, and at the time, I had no idea what it meant. All I knew for sure was that I
was frightened.
33
Chapter 6
Linda
I couldn’t sleep that night thinking about Billy and his apparent newfound ability to heal
people. So far it was just Maggie, but what if it happened again? Part of me felt excited,, but the
other part was frightened of the unknown. I wasn’t afraid of the dark, but I was afraid of the
things I couldn’t see in the dark. The things that go bump in the night.
This was supernatural stuff. God magic, as Billy would say. God and I never really
understood each other, but now I was forced to consider the implications of a supernatural power
within my son. I was out of my league. How was I supposed to even deal with that? I hadn’t
prayed since I was a kid. I didn’t know God at all, but apparently He knew my son quite well. I
was a little jealous.
Billy healing Maggie was mind blowing. It was literally hard to wrap my head around,
impossible to understand in a logical way. That’s what Jim was telling me. His logic said this
was impossible, but his instincts said there was no other answer but Billy. How did he get this
ability? He had never shown it before, that’s for sure. Then Tuesday came, and Tuesday turned
into Wednesday. As is often the case, life crept in and I put away what Jim and I talked about. I
wasn’t hiding it. It was the elephant in the corner of my mind, impossible to miss, quietly
demanding my attention. But Billy needed my help. Because he was doing so well I was already
34
starting to spend more time at work, transitioning back into my normal schedule. The elephant
waited.
Saturday came before I knew it, the day Billy was scheduled to be released from the
hospital. The nurses had grown attached to him and threw Billy an impromptu party. Dr. Jim
came by towards the end of the party with his daughter, Anika. Billy was chasing Maggie around
the room. They were giggling like little kids - healthy little kids. We introduced them to Anika
and the three of them hung out like old pals. The Billy Effect. They talked about Velvet, Billy’s
amazing dog.
Jim laughed at Billy’s antics, saying, “Maggie’s a miracle, Linda. Look at her.”
Maggie’s hair was definitely growing back, much darker than before the chemo. She had put
on weight and there were no longer dark circles under her eyes. She didn’t look like a dying
child. She looked like a normal, healthy twelve-year old-with really short hair. According to Jim,
the cancer was rapidly receding. He reiterated that neither he nor his medical colleagues had ever
seen anything like it.
“Any other hypothesis about her recovery?” I asked.
“Sure, but all of it’s useless,’’ Jim said. “The hospital administration is spinning. They
want to just call it a recovery. Unexplained, but still a win for the home team. They’re going to
talk with you about that.”
“Why? What’s there to talk about?”
“They don’t want the word to go out about a miracle. It would be bad for business.”
35
While Jim was talking light suddenly reflected off of a wall mirror. It was blinding: I looked
down and rubbed my eyes.
“Are you okay?” Jim asked. “Did you get something in your eyes?” He came closer, a lot
closer. He gently grabbed my chin and pushed my head back a little.
“You know I am a doctor,” he said. “Let me have a look.” With his free hand he smoothed
back my hair and looked into my eyes. He was so close I could smell his scent. He was smiling
into my eyes while I got lost in his.
Finally I came to my senses and pushed him back a little with a laugh. Another laugh joined
mine while Jim turned to talk with Billy, and there was was Dr. Gabby, the French observer. She
seemed to be observing everywhere I went. I was a little irritated, but the look in her eyes was so
genuinely amused I relaxed and walked over to her.
“Men are the same everywhere, don’t you think, Mrs. Pearlman?”
“Call me Linda,” I replied. “And yes, I’m sure men are the same all over the world.” She
walked out just as a man walked in.
“Did you say something?’’ Jim asked, as he turned away from Billy.
“No, just to doctor Gabby here,’’ I said.
“Who?’’ Jim asked with a puzzled look.
Dr. Gabby had vanished as quickly as she appeared. She must be one busy gal, I thought.
36
Jim walked up behind me and whispered, “Here comes the guy from administration I told
you about. Good luck.” He sounded like he was sending me to the firing squad.
He was pudgy, middle-aged, and nearly bald, wearing a frumpy suit and out-of-date, large
glasses that magnified his eyes to insect proportion. He gripped a briefcase with both hands as if
it contained the Holy Grail. I was instantly on edge and instinctively did not like him.. He
brought out what Steve used to call the “psycho killer” in me.
He extended his hand, saying, “Mrs. Pearlman. I’m Abner Hannity.” His name certainly fit
him, I thought. “Could you spare a few minutes to discuss Billy’s release?”
I looked quickly at Jim, who had backed away from our discussion and was again watching
the kids play and talking with Janine. He wanted nothing to do with Hannity, I could tell. I
looked at the man and said, “Mr. Hannity, I’ve already discussed Billy’s release with his doctors
and two of the nurses, as well as someone from accounting. Is there a problem?’’
“May I just have five minutes of your time, Mrs. Pearlman? I can assure you it will be time
well spent.”
We walked to a small conference room near the elevator. Hannity pulled out a file folder
from his briefcase and opened it. He laid a sheet in front of me.
“That is the bill you received, correct?”
I scanned it and the bottom line was certainly correct. “Yes, that looks right.”
“According to our records, after your insurance pays its part, you will owe the hospital and
the doctors about $55,000.”
37
I already knew that, but to hear a man like Abner Hannity say it somehow made it sound
dirty. I grimaced with distaste and pushed the paper back at the man.
“Why did you want to talk with me, Mr. Hannity?”
“To offer you a deal.”
“A deal? I will pay back the money, you don’t have to worry about that!”
“We are not disputing your ability to pay, Mrs. Pearlman.” He placed another document in
front of me. “The hospital would like to pay for all your expenses, Mrs. Pearlman, as a goodwill
gesture.”
I scanned the two-page document. I had reviewed many like it at the firm, and it looked
pretty straightforward. Then I read the release clause, towards the end of the document. It read,
in part, “The Client and her family shall refrain from publically discussing any part of her son’s
surgery, or any other events that occurred during her son’s stay at the hospital.”
A sledgehammer of awareness hit me. They wanted to squash the miracle, make it go away.
It wasn’t like I was going to have a press conference on the way out, but they didn’t know that.
The offer was tempting.
I wouldn’t have to tap into my savings or struggle making
payments. Besides, I wasn’t planning on talking about what happened and, in fact, I hoped to put
it all behind us.
“Just to be clear here, Mr. Hannity. The hospital will pay for all my expenses in return for us
not talking about what Billy did for Maggie?”
38
“Allegedly did, Mrs. Pearlman. There is no evidence that Billy did anything at all. She got
better while she was under the hospital’s care. Period. We don’t want any gossip that might hurt
the hospital’s image.”
“You do realize that a lot of people already know about this?”
“They will be dealt with individually. But this offer is just for you and your family, and
won’t be available after you leave the hospital. It’s a good deal for you, Mrs. Pearlman. I advise
you to take it.” I studied the insect for a moment and realized he was right.
I signed the document. We discussed details, and I returned to the room where the amazing
and incredible Billy Blue Sky was performing. He was standing on his bed, with a sheet tied
around his shoulders.
“Billy Blue Sky is here,” he said. “You are my people. You will obey me!” He pointed at
me and said, “Queen Mom is here. She gets a gold crown. She will ride blue ponies!”
Everyone applauded, and Billy jumped down from the bed and hugged me. He started
packing up his presents and clothes, excited to be going home.
One of the nurses approached me. She was young and looked embarrassed.
“Mrs. Pearlman?”
“That’s me.” I looked down at her nametag. “Hi Bonnie, thanks for helping care for Billy.”
She turned to look at him. “I’m going to miss Billy. He’s blessed, Mrs. Pearlman. Billy is
blessed.”
39
I looked closely at her while she watched Billy. There was such love innocent love and
devotion. It was touching. She turned and saw me watching her. She blushed and looked down,
as if I had read her mind.
“Did something happen with you and Billy?”
She nodded her head slowly and rubbed a cross hanging from around her neck. A tear was
running down her cheek. I waited.
“Two nights ago,” she began, “I was checking his vitals. He woke up and called me over to
his bed. He said he was sorry my tummy hurt.”
She was crying harder, so I pulled her out into the hallway and waited for her to continue.
“I swear I never said anything about my stomach hurting, but it did; I had a urinary tract
infection. It wasn’t contagious and I was already on medication, but it hurt pretty badly. He took
my hand, Mrs. Pearlman, and closed his eyes. Then he fell asleep.”
I waited but she seemed content and her tears had stopped. “So nothing happened?” I asked.
“Well, actually the lights went out and we went on generator power for about five minutes.
Then I realized that my pain was gone. Completely gone. It felt like a miracle, like a holy
moment. I could feel God’s presence. I heard about what he did for Maggie. Now me. I was
thinking that God must have a plan for Billy. He can heal people.”
She touched her belly and said, “He healed me.”
40
Chapter 7
Linda
We settled back into our normal routine at home. The house was a ranch that I had owned
since the first year of my marriage. After I became a single mom, my parents paid to have a large
wing added to the house and then moved in with Billy and I, which turned out to be a blessing. I
had free babysitters and caregivers and they got to see their favorite grandson and daughter. They
added stability and family and Dad gave Billy some of the missing male factor, including some
awful expressions.
Billy improved rapidly and within two weeks was back to most of his normal activities
around the house. We went to the hospital for a couple of follow-up appointments and Billy
passed the tests with flying colors.
Time passed and things changed. Jim stayed in touch, calling almost every day to
supposedly check on Billy. When the calls persisted it was clear Jim was checking on me. Within
a month we started dating.
After nine years of walking in the desert, I had finally found an oasis in a gentle man who
loved kids, starting with his own. That was the first thing that attracted me to him; the way he
treated his daughter, Anika, and Billy. Not to mention his looks and his character. We agreed to
go slow and ease into the dating game again. Neither one of us wanted to get hurt, yet both of us
wanted what we had been missing.
41
At first we kept it grounded at the house. I invited Bill and Anika over for family time, for
dinners and to just hang out over a movie, Monopoly, or video games. Jim was a very good sport
and incredibly patient with Billy, who loved Jim.
Anika was fourteen, a natural older sister for Billy, very loving and helpful, but also able to
keep up with Billy’s normal ten-year-old craziness. They played outside on the swing set, played
with Velvet everywhere. They read to each other and watched TV together. Billy and Jerome
even made her an honorary detective in their not-so-secret detective club.
I loved watching them together.
“Come, Velvet!” said Billy in a mock stern voice. Jim and Anika had brought Velvet over
in a seemingly futile exercise to train her. More like pretending to train her. Which at the
moment consisted of Anika playing tug of war with Velvet and a sock, and Billy trying to get her
to come. Nothing much was accomplished other than a lot of laughter and silliness. I called
them, Billy, Anika and Velvet, the new My Three Stooges show.
Velvet dropped the sock and scampered over to Billy, who pet and praised her. “Good dog,
Velvet. Billy loves you.”
Jim watched the two of them with a raised eyebrow. “Nice job, Billy. That’s the first time
I’ve seen her come. What’s your secret?”
“Magic!”
42
I knew the truth, and waited for Jim to notice Velvet was now chewing on something and
begging in front of Billy. Jim’s light bulb went off.
“Hey,” he said. “What’s she eating, Billy? Did you use a treat to get her to come?”
Billy grabbed Velvet and tried to crawl away with her. Jim pulled them both onto his lap
and grabbed Billy’s hands. Billy was laughing and fought him, saying, “Magic! Billy Blue Sky
has magic! It was Gampa’s idea!”
“That’s true,” said Gampa from his recliner.
Jim pried Billy’s hands open and several dog treats fell out. Velvet gobbled them up.
“Oh, I see,” said Jim as he tickled the hysterical Billy. “Magic, huh? I’ll show you magic.”
Soon Anika and Billy were both at opposite ends of the room, using the treats to get Velvet to
come. I couldn’t help but smile.
The doorbell rang and I stood. “Hey, guys, I’ve got a client coming over to pick something
up. Try not to let the dog eat him.”
“Mom,” said Billy, “Velvet’s not hungry now. Your client is safe!” I walked to the front
door and welcomed my client.
Jerry Wiseman had hired me to help find his daughter. She had been missing three days.
The police had had no luck; there were no signs of her and all the usual possibilities had been
covered. I had explained that the police were actively pursuing the case, but Wiseman was not
satisfied and wanted me to dig further.
43
Kidnapping was the obvious criminal suspicion in a missing child case, and that was the
angle I was pursuing, with the client’s blessing.
“Hi, Jerry,” I welcome him. “Come on in. Let’s go back to the office. We have to run the
puppy gauntlet.”
I led him into the family room where everyone was down on the ground. Velvet wandered
over and sniffed Jerry. He pushed her away with his foot. She growled at him and backed up.
Billy picked her up.
“Jerry, this is my friend Jim and his daughter, Anika. And this is my son, Billy.”
I watched Jerry shake hands with Jim and Anika. Then he put his hands to his sides and said
hello to Billy. Billy stood and put his hand out, saying, “I’m Billy Blue Sky.”
Jerry turned red, then reluctantly put his hand out and shook Billy’s hand. Billy’s expression
changed to surprise as he held Jerry’s hand. The TV cut off and my dad said, “Hey!” and started
banging the remote on his hands, thinking it was the batteries. Must have worked because the TV
came right back on.
Billy released Jerry’s hand with a pained expression on his face, turned, and left the room.
Anika followed him as Jerry and I walked through into my office. We sat at the small conference
table and I got out the report I had for him. I had the strangest feeling as if Jerry had hurt Billy’s
hand on purpose, but knew that was unlikely. Still, why the look on Billy’s face?
44
I was concerned about his reaction to Velvet and even more so to Billy. My child was an
emotional barometer, and if people had a strong reaction against him there was usually some
underlying reason.
“Do you have trouble with special needs people, Jerry?”
He turned red again and looked down, somewhat chagrined.
“No, I don’t have trouble with them,” he said. “They just make me uncomfortable. I don’t
have a lot of experience with them.” That was an honest and acceptable answer. I changed the
subject, we discussed his case and he left.
I rejoined Billy, Anika, and Jim in the family room. They were watching a video. I sat near
Billy and put my arm around him. He leaned into me.
“Hi, Mom,” he said, eyes on the video.
“Hi, Billy. Hey, what happened when you shook Mr. Wiseman’s hand?”
“Nothing.”
I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, receiving protests of “Hey, we were watching
that,” from the kids and Jim. I turned Billy to face me and lifted his chin to look me in the eyes.
He didn’t want to look at me, which was very unusual, and usually meant he was hiding
something.
“You didn’t like him, did you Billy?”
He looked up at me and shook his head no.
45
“What did you feel when you shook his hand, Billy?”
“He’s a bad man.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Bad man is mean to little girl.”
It was never a good sign when Billy’s language started to break down. It was a sure sign of
emotional turmoil. Now I knew something was wrong and a terrible idea began to form. I went
to my office and pulled out the photo of Amy, Jerry’s missing daughter. I gave the photo to Billy
without a word.
His face became sad and he handed the photo back to me. “That’s the girl, Mommy.”
Billy only called me “Mommy” when he was upset or emotional, or really tired.
“Sweetie, what did you see when you shook Mr. Wiseman’s hand?”
“He was yelling at that girl. He put her in a box. I saw a boat and water. He’s a bad man. A
bad, bad man.”
I questioned Billy a while longer but was not able to get much more from him. His vision
was short and quick. The girl, the dad yelling, and the box, boat, and water. The implication was
terrible: Jerry Wiseman had kidnapped his own daughter and had put her in a box. She was either
dead or held somewhere against her will, possibly on a boat.
Wiseman and his wife had separated a few years back and had shared custody of Amy.
There were no money issues, no past problems between them or disputes over their daughter.
46
Police had tentatively cleared them as suspects. I certainly had not had any reason to suspect
Wiseman. But now my son was implicating him based on a handshake, and I had no choice but
to check it out.
***
Billy
I am like my Mom. I love finding out stuff. But not all stuff is fun to find out. Like that guy
who came to the house—the bad guy. When Velvet growled at him I wanted to growl too. That
sounds funny, but it’s true. If you feel like growling at someone like a dog, that’s not good.
Gampa taught me how to shake hands like a man. I like to do it ‘cause it is a grown-up
thing. He taught me to look people in the eyes and say, “Nice to meetcha.” I like meeting people,
so I didn’t have to fake it, but sometimes I do have to fake it when I can tell they are mean or had
done something naughty.
Gamma says some people walk around with a black cloud over them. I’ve never seen that so
I think she means an inside cloud. I can feel it in them, kind of like a black cloud. Most people
feel sunny to me, and I can almost hear their heart beating like a happy drum.
Mom’s client had a very black cloud in him. I could feel it. He looked at me like I was a bug
he wanted to squoosh, like I saw Gampa do once to a big old roach in the kitchen. But I still
stuck out my hand to shake. I think that was a brave thing to do. Maybe being brave means
47
you’re scared too? Gampa says you have to “fight the fear,” but I didn’t want to fight it. I wanted
to run away and hide.
When he shook my hand it was like shaking Darth Vader’s hand. It was cold. My eyes were
open but all I saw was black, like I got too close to Darth Vader and he sucked the light out of
me. Then I saw the little girl inside my head. She was in a box. That man had put her there. He
had a bad black thunderstorm cloud in him and all around him. It was making lightning inside
my head and I knew I could get electrocuted and I should run inside, but I was already inside.
Then he let go of my hand and I remembered where I was. I knew that man was worse than
Darth Vader ‘cause Darth Vader didn’t really want to hurt his son, right? But that black cloud
man was hurting his little girl. It made me sad.
But I was happy ‘cause Mom said I was her little detective and they were gonna save that
little girl. I said, “Yay!” But only after that mean man left, ‘cause I would not say it in front of
him. No way, Jose.
After he left, Jerome came over and we took Anika outside and made her a detective in our
detectives club. We never knew we would have a girl. We sat on the grass and told her our
secrets.
“Wow,” Anika said. “Are you sure you want a girl in your club? What if you get cooties?”
Jerome and I looked at each other. He looked confused so I helped him out.
“She’s joking, Jerome,” I said. “Gampa taught me about sarcasm. It’s like using fake words
to make a point. Kinda like joking around.” Jerome still looked confused.
48
I told Anika, “Me and Jerome want you in our club. We don’t care about cooties, but you
have to swear to the rules.”
Jerome put his hand up, saying, “I care about cooties. I want as many as I can get!” He
closed his eyes, leaned over to Anika, and puckered his lips for a kiss. It was the funniest thing
ever. We high-fived a whole bunch and laughed loud.
Anika looked back and forth between Jerome and me as we laughed, shaking her head. “A
couple of comedians,” she said. “Why don’t you call this The Wise Guy Detective Club?” We
couldn’t believe it. Jerome’s eyes were wide open and so was his mouth. Gampa says when
people look that way they are flycatchers, but I never caught a fly with my mouth except when I
ride my bike. Once I caught a big moth that way, too, and there was powder all over my face. It
was gross.
Jerome looked at me and we nodded. “We love the new name!” said Jerome. “Let’s go catch
some bad guys!”
He started to get up but Anika stopped him. “Wait, Jerome. What are the rules?”
Jerome held up a hand like a gun and said, “Repeat after me, Anika, and do what I do.” So
he taught Anika the rules of the club, the new Wise Guy Detectives Club with a girl in it now.
We let her in partly ‘cause of Velvet, who we named our Detective Dog, or DD for short.
The rules go like this: “I promise to always do good. To look out for bad guys and catch
them if I can. To help people and never hurt them. So help me God. Amen.”
49
Then we went on an adventure, with Velvet sort of leading the way by smelling stuff. Anika
and Jerome said she was on the trail of a bad guy, but I think she was just smelling any old thing.
We walked around the block and said hi to some friends and introduced Anika and Velvet.
Everyone loved Velvet. A few people asked if Jerome and I were hunting bad guys and we said,
“Always.” Our club was supposed to be secret, but everyone knew about it.
We stopped at a house with a “For Sale” sign in the front yard. The grass was long and a
bunch of tree branches were down in the yard. Some of the windows were broken, too. Jerome
and I figured that was a crime, but we had always been too scared to investigate. Plus some of
the older kids said the house was haunted. We believed them.
But now we had Anika, and she wasn’t scared at all. She said, “Come on guys, let’s go
look.” She started walking towards the house, letting Velvet sniff stuff in the yard. Jerome and I
stood on the sidewalk. We were scared of the house and had talked about it a lot.
“I don’t like that house,” I said. “It scares me.”
“Me too,” said Jerome. “But look, Billy, Anika’s a girl, and she ain’t scared. We better go
with her. To protect her.”
I stared at him, not understanding, but then I got it. “Yeah,” I said. “We need to protect
Anika. So we caught up with her and we walked around the house to the back yard. The grass
was really tall and there were some broken bottles on the ground. We walked down to a small
pond and found a place where someone had lit a fire, with rocks around it, like a campsite.
“Cool,” said Jerome. “Looks like some kids been camping down here. Check it out, an old
tennis shoe! Hey, Billy, check it out and see if you see anything.” I grabbed the shoe, which had
50
holes in it. I checked it for spiders ‘cause once I got bit by a spider hiding in an old shoe. Mom
had to put some cream on that bite and it made my hand swell up big. Gampa called me “ham
hand” and Gamma said “Henry,” but it made me laugh when he called me ham hand, even
though there was not ham on it.
But this shoe didn’t have any spiders hiding in it. Just some dirt and leaves, which I shook
out. Then I put my hand inside the shoe where the kid’s foot would have touched it. I can’t feel
stuff on the outside usually. I closed my eyes and concentrated.
“You can’t see anything with your eyes closed, Billy,” said Anika with a laugh. I opened my
eyes and looked at her until she stopped smiling. Then I glanced at Jerome and he told Anika,
“This is one of the secret things we do, Anika. You can’t tell anyone.”
“Oh, is this like what Billy did to that girl, Maggie, at the hospital?”
“Yes, it is,” I told her. “It’s easy to feel things when I touch people. But it’s a lot harder to
feel stuff from clothes.”
“Especially old stuff,” added Jerome. By now Anika was excited by the secret and she
swore to never tell anyone. I closed my eyes again.
At first all I could see was blackness. Then a tiny snap and tingle, but not much. I saw boys
playing baseball. Then I saw them swimming in the pond. Then I saw the inside of the shoe, like
I was crawling into it. I crawled into a nest of old grass and found a bunch of blind baby mice.
They were squealing at me and I went over and started licking them.
I dropped the shoe and opened my eyes.
51
“What happened? What did you see?” asked Anika.
“Jerome,” I said. “See if there’s a nest inside the shoe.” He picked up the shoe and used a
stick to pull out the nest I had seen. There was one tiny skeleton of a mouse inside the grass.
“Ugh!” said Anika. “That’s so gross.”
“Cool!” said Jerome. “Our first skeleton!” He was so excited and wanted to take the shoe
and the skeleton home. But Anika said we should bury it, so we did, down by the pond where the
ground was wet and easy to dig.
A shadow fell on us. We turned to see a big, big, big man. The sun was behind him so I
couldn’t see his face, but we were scared ‘cause he was so big. He just stood there, the man with
no face, pretty close to us. Anika said, “Run!” and she took off running with Jerome right behind
her. I don’t know why, but I just stood there and looked up at the man. I wasn’t scared anymore.
I heard Anika yell, “Run, Billy, run!” But I didn’t run. I wanted to see what the man looked
like and I didn’t think he would hurt me. I didn’t know why I felt that way, I just felt it. I walked
around the man so the sun was behind me. He turned with me. He had Down syndrome, just like
me. He was dirty and his clothes were dirty. Gampa sometimes took me to a place where
homeless people came to eat. We fed them. A lot of them looked just like this man.
He was bigger than Jim and looked very strong. I could tell from his eyes and the way he
looked at me that he wasn’t as smart as I was. Sometimes Down syndrome messes up people’s
heads so they can’t think so well. I got lucky. This man wasn’t so lucky. But he didn’t want to
hurt me.
52
“My name’s Billy Blue Sky. What’s your name?” I asked him.
He shook his head and started signing with his hands, really fast. I learned some sign
language in school and Special Olympics ‘cause we had a deaf guy on our team. But I’m not that
good. I signed for him to slow down and signed my name. He smiled and signed that his name
was Larry. He held out his hand to shake. Then we hugged.
We talked for a long time. Kinda talk and kinda sign talk. But we understood each other.
Then the police came with guns and my mom and Jim and Anika and Jerome were running and
screaming my name. Mom was crying, and that doesn’t happen too much. I stepped in front of
Larry and he sat down behind me ‘cause the guns scared him. The policemen put their guns away
and told Larry to stand, but he couldn’t hear them so I signed for him to stand and he did.
I told my mom and the police what had happened. I told them that Larry had been living in
the house cause the people he used to live with were mean to him. I asked Mom if he could live
with us but she said no, and the police took him away. They said they would help him. Cops are
the good guys, so I knew they would.
Mom hugged me a lot that day and I got extra ice cream that night. Thanks to Larry.
53
Chapter 8
Linda
When Jerome and Anika came running into the house screaming that a big man had taken
Billy, I froze. Then, Jim grabbed my hand and we all went flying out of the door and down the
street, Anika and Jerome leading. Jim called the cops and they were pulling up just as we ran into
the yard.
It was probably a good thing I didn’t have my gun, because when I saw Billy with that man,
I was terrified and wanted to kill him. But as we got closer I could see that Billy wasn’t afraid or
in danger. He had his arms out to protect the man, who dropped to the ground and huddled
behind Billy.
Billy told us the entire story, as Larry stood meekly by his side. He was the biggest adult
with Down syndrome I had ever seen. Not so tall, but powerfully built with huge muscles. Billy
said Larry was a power lifter, and I believed him. I was thankful that he was peaceful, because a
man that large could have easily killed Billy if he wanted to.
Jim knew sign language, self-taught after dealing with deaf kids at the hospital. He talked
with Larry and they hit it off. Billy wanted Larry to come home with us, but I explained that he
was not a puppy and the police would take care of him. Still, it was hard for him and he struggled
54
not to cry. Larry did cry, though. We promised to see him again, and I told the cops I’d get the
low down from one of my police buddies. I called him later that night.
Detective Fred Bowling, aka the “Bowling Ball,” was called BB by his friends. He was a
short, thick man of about forty, solid as a rock. I knew from experience that he could move fast
and was incredibly strong. On a dare, I had once tried to throw him with a judo move. I was the
one who landed on my butt, to the sound of laughter from the cops.. Bowling picked me up and
we became fast friends. He looked out for me from that moment on.
“Hey, it’s the Pearl!” said Bowling on the phone. “How’s it going, you?”
“Not bad, BB. How’re you doing?” We chatted and caught up on life. I told him about
Billy’s adventure and Larry and asked him to keep me in the loop. Then I filled him in on my
“hunch” about Jerry Wiseman.
He whistled. “That’s a heckuva hunch, kid. I get ‘em too. Let me talk to Len and see what
he thinks.” Len Grossman was BB’s partner of ten years. BB was short and round, Len was tall
and thin. Laurel and Hardy. “We’re busting our butts on a bunch of cases, but he’s here at the
moment, so your timing’s good. I’ll call you right back.”
He did. “Turns out Wiseman does have a boat, Pearlman.” He gave me the address. “I’m
heading over there now with Lou. If you should happen to meet us over there, we’ll be okay with
that. So maybe I’ll see you in about 30.” That was code for ‘be there.’ He hung up and I loaded
up. Jim offered to stay on “duty” with Billy, as my parents were out for an hour.
55
I was at the marina thirty minutes later. It was a big one, and fairly new, built less than
twenty years ago in the Lynnhaven area near the Lesner Bridge. This was not a low-end, bluecollar type of marina. These slips housed some expensive watercraft, ranging up to sixty feet in
length. It looked like hundreds of them.
BB and Lou were already there. The marina was large and Len had to check his notes
several times as we wound our way across several docks and gangways. We finally arrived at the
right slip.
“This is it,” said Len, checking his notes. “And this is the boat, according to the records.”
“I assume you have a warrant?” I asked Len.
“No time to get one,” he replied. “That’s why you’re going on board, Pearlman. We’ll wait
here in case you find something.”
I realized I’d been setup, but it made sense. If the girl was on board then all haste must be
used. The cover-up could come later.
The boat was a thirty-five-footer with a large forward cabin. I put on gloves, pulled in the
stern line and jumped aboard. I walked up to the cabin door and tried the handle. It was locked. I
knocked loudly and yelled, “Amy, are you in there?”
I heard scuffling sounds and a muffled voice. So did the cops, and they jumped aboard.
They tried the door again, but it wasn’t budging. Len looked at BB, who nodded. He grabbed the
overhanding section of cabin with both hands and swung his legs forward against the door. It
exploded inward.
56
BB moved aside and let Lou take the lead. We found Amy inside a large footlocker. When
we opened it, we were assaulted by the smells of vomit, urine, and feces. I had to step back for a
minute to keep from vomiting. What kind of an animal would do this to his own daughter?
Holes had been drilled into it so it was clear murder was not intended. At least not yet. Her
mouth was covered with duct tape, which had been wound around her head several times. Her
hands were tied behind her back and her legs were also bound and then tied to her hands. She
was trussed like a chicken.
She squinted and cried out in pain when we opened the footlocker. She had been in the dark
for four days, and the bright sunlight hurt her eyes. She couldn’t see and she was terribly afraid.
“It’s okay, Amy,” I told her. “You’re okay now. The police are here.” She nodded her head
and tried to talk, but the tape prevented her from making sense. I told her I was going to remove
the tape from her mouth, and that it would hurt. She nodded again. BB handed me a Swiss Army
knife, and I used the small scissors to cut the tape away from her mouth.
She started croaking out words, but her voice was hoarse. We gave her some water to drink
and introduced ourselves. The water and sunlight and reality of her rescue set in. She began
shaking and crying. I held her and after a while she calmed down. I nodded to Len.
“Amy, who tied you up and left you here?”
“My daddy did.” BB and Len exchanged a glance.
“Did he tell you why he did it?”
57
“He said I was a bad girl and needed to go away.” She cried harder and looked up at me,
asking, “I’m not a bad girl, am I?”
“No, Amy,” I replied. “You are not a bad girl. You are a good girl.”
“I’m afraid of him.”
“The police will keep you safe, sweetie.”
She hugged me. “Can I stay with you?” I looked at Len and he nodded. I took Amy home to
wait for her mom, while Len and BB arrested Jerry Wiseman. He confessed to kidnapping his
daughter and admitted he was planning to kill her. His motive? He hated his ex-wife and wanted
to make her life miserable. He didn’t want to be a dad anymore and was tired of paying for
childcare. The criminal psychologist said he was a borderline sociopath. Soon he’d be behind
bars and off the streets. Good riddance. What is it with some of the so-called fathers out there?
Billy hugged Amy when he met her at the house, saying, “You’re safe now.” She cried. Her
mother picked her up soon after and the case was closed. I never got paid for the work I did, but I
never regretted any of it. I wondered if I would be putting my son on the payroll soon.
He had just solved his first case.
58
Chapter ??? _______
Billy
That Sunday was the big day, the day it all began; Gampa called it the Billy Bowl, like the
Super Bowl. Gampa says bad words when he watches football and his team’s losing. He says
them quiet so Gamma doesn’t say “Henry!” and my mom doesn’t get red in the face. But I can
hear him. He whispers, “Sorry, Billy” to me. I forgive him. I will forgive Gampa a billion times,
and that’s a lot.
Usually I go to church with Gamma and Gampa, and Mom would stay home. She didn’t like
to go to church.. I don’t think she knew how to talk to God yet. She didn’t think he was real. She
called it make believe and mumbo jumbo. I tried to explain it to her, but how can you explain
what people can’t see? Gampa said mumbo jumbo was Cajun chowder with jumbo shrimp, but I
told him he was full of prunes. He laughed.
But Mom came because she said “a little help from above” wouldn’t hurt. She thinks if there
is a Heaven it is up in the sky and not down here. But there’s a sky in our hearts too and that
means down here. But Mom didn’t know how to listen with her heart. But she’s my mom. She’s
the best.
Mom and I sat in the backseat, thumb wrestling. I remember that, because she beat me doing
a double criss-cross. That is really hard to win both hands, but she won.
59
“Oh yeah, who’s the champ now?” my mom said. Gamma said that was obnoxious talk, but
I thought it was funny how Mom was pumping her fist and saying “Ooo oh, oh yeah.” So I did it
with her and Gamma said, “Settle down back there.” But she wasn’t really mad, I could tell.
Gampa said, “Damn it!” and rolled around on the front seat. I knew his hip was bothering
him again. Gampa limps, so sometimes I call him Gimpy Gampa after he calls me “Little
Whippersnapper.” I like that name and think it’s funny. Gampa was sitting next to Gamma, who
was driving. When he said “Damn it!” Gamma shot eye lasers at him. That’s what Gampa calls
them. He says they make him melt, like the witch in the Wizard of Oz.
“This seat’s got no padding at all,” said Gampa. “Not like the seat in that sixty-six Cadillac,
eh hon?” He poked Gamma with his finger and she swerved the car she was so mad, and almost
hit another car. Gampa said, “Oh shit!” and Gamma said, “Stop it, Henry!” in her mean voice.
Gamma didn’t use her mean voice on me. Only on Gampa and Mom. “ Mind your manners.
Young ears are listening.”
They were talking about me ‘cause I had the youngest ears. Gampa rolled over and winked
at me, but then he groaned again. His hip. I felt bad for him, then a firecracker idea came to me.
Mom calls cool ideas “firecracker ideas.” It was like BOOM, I’m gonna help Gampa.
I reached up and grabbed his shoulders. I said, “Put your seat back, Gampa. All the way
back.” He did it right away. I thought he might ask why or give me a funny Gampa look. He just
grabbed that handle thing on the side of his chair, and next thing you know, Gampa was in my
lap.
60
I stared down at him and used my Dracula voice, “Look into my eyes, Gampa. Look and
you will be healed!” We laughed but Mom wasn’t laughing with us. She had her worry look on
her face. I kissed Gampa on his forehead and whispered, “Close your eyes, old timer.” I
whispered ‘cause Mom doesn’t like it when I call Gampa “old timer.” But he liked it and smiled
with his eyes closed.
I shut my eyes too and felt the tingle. Sky Daddy was coming. It started in my toes and
came up through my body and down my arms. I knew it was going into Gampa. I saw Gampa
running inside my head, just like Maggie did. He was running away from me down to a lake
where a boat was tied up. Someone was in the boat, but I couldn’t tell who it was. They waved at
us. Gampa waved back and so did I. It’s polite to wave back, that’s what Gamma says.
“Oh, shoot!” said Gamma. Gamma never says bad words. “Shoot’’ is a big word for her to
use. I opened my eyes and she was smacking her fist on the dashboard. It was really loud and
Mom’s eyes were wide open and round. Gampa was a sleeping like a baby kitten. He was
snoring a little. That made me smile, but I didn’t laugh out loud ‘cause I didn’t want to wake
him.
“The darned dashboard lights went out,” said Gamma. “I have no idea how fast I’m going.”
She kept banging the car and then the lights came back on. Gamma thought she fixed it, but I
knew better. I held Gampa’s head in my lap as we turned into the church. I looked down at him.
He is my Gampa and I love him so much.
Mom and Gamma started to get out, so I said, “Gampa, wake up old timer!”
61
Gampa opened his eyes. He grabbed me and pulled me down for a kiss. He said, “Who you
calling old timer, you young whippersnapper.” See what I mean? We don’t use them like bad
names. They are love names, but we have to be careful where we say it ‘cause it can sound mean
to others even though it’s not.
***
Linda
We got out of the car and headed for the church. Billy ran ahead and Dad chased him down
and caught him. Mom and I looked at each other with complete surprise. Dad hadn’t run like that
in years. Because of his hip his normal gait was a slow hobbling walk, but now he was running
so fast he could catch a ten-year-old.
They waited for us to catch up, panting on the front steps of the church.
“I feel great,” said Dad. “My hip doesn’t even hurt. Maybe that darned car seat slipped my
hip back in. I can’t believe it.” He was practically giddy with excitement. It was touching. Mom
and I exchanged a look. We knew what had happened. Billy had happened—again.
We entered the church atrium, where a lot of folks were talking. The service was still about
ten minutes away. Everyone turned to stare at us and the entire room got quiet. Then they were
moving towards us en masse and everyone was talking at the same time. I felt like a rock star and
62
Billy was a rock star. They congratulated him on his recovery and high-fived him over and over
again. I was concerned about his strength, so I pulled him back next to me.
Then the crowd parted and nurse Bonnie and a man came through, along with Jim and
Anika. Needless to say I was shocked, but it was a good kind of shock, I suppose. Bonnie hugged
me and introduced me to her husband.
“Linda, this is my husband, Jeff. We go here. We’re just so excited you’re here.” She looked
down at Billy. “Especially Billy Blue Sky.”
“That’s me!” said Billy with pride. He hugged Bonnie and Jim. Then he took off with
Anika, headed for the student ministry area. Bonnie and her husband were talking to my parents,
leaving Jim and me alone. I looked into his beautiful eyes and I wanted to kiss him. Just like that.
I blushed. He noticed but was gallant and changed the subject.
“Billy looks great, Linda. What are you guys feeding him?”
By now my mom had noticed the connection Jim and I had, and she moved in for the kill. I
hadn’t shown interest in a man in several years and now she was coming to close the deal. She
hugged Jim.
“So good to see you, Jim. What brings you out to our fine church?”
“Oh, I was just passing through,” he replied with a chuckle, looking over at me.
“Somehow,” said my mother, “I find it hard to be believe that you ‘pass through’ anywhere.
You are a man of action and plans, aren’t you, Jim?”
“Busted,” said Jim, laughing.
63
Not one to give up, my mother followed up with, “Did you come to see Linda?”
“Mom!” I barked, too loudly.
“Actually,” said Jim, looking my mother in the eye, “I’m friends with Bonnie and Jeff. They
invited me to come, and I wanted to see Billy. He’s my patient.”
“So Linda had nothing to do with it?”
“Geez, Mom!” I squealed again. “I’m not some teenage girl you have to look out for.”
Mom hugged me close and whispered, “Well somebody does, darling. Somebody does.”
She led the way into the sanctuary, saying, “Let’s find some seats.”
The service was fine. Nothing special. Then at the end Pastor Jim said, “As everybody
probably knows, one of our favorites came home from the hospital yesterday. Folks, let’s
welcome back Billy Blue Sky!”
The entire church jumped to their feet and applauded as Billy came bounding in from the
side door, followed by Anika. Billy ran up onto the stage and hugged Pastor Jim, who kept him
close.
“Please be seated,” said Pastor Jim. Then he said, “Billy, remind me, which organ you got
operated on. Was it your brain?” He handed Billy a microphone.
Billy laughed and spoke into his microphone like an old stagehand. “Pastor Jim is funny.
They operated on Billy’s heart. I show you.”
64
I started to stand, but my father put his hand on my arm and said, “Let him go, baby girl. Let
him have his say and do it his way.”
There were gasps from the crowd as Billy unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his chest. The
bright red scars from the surgery could be clearly seen, a cross on his chest. Pastor Jim touched
the scar and asked, “Does it hurt, Billy?”
“Nope, not no more. It hurt bad right after surgery. I said dammit once like my Gampa. He’s
over there!” Billy pointed over to us and waved. My dad smiled at the laughter and waved back
at Billy, while I tried my best to disappear into the seat. Jim chuckled beside me.
“Oh, I hear you, Billy,” continued the pastor. “It’s hard to always say the right thing, isn’t
it?”
Billy closed his eyes and said, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from
calamity.” A gasp went up from the church.
“That’s from Proverbs, isn’t it Billy?”
“Yes, it is, Pastor Jim. I love that book.”
“What else do you love, Billy?”
“I love God. He loves us this much.” He spread his arms wide. The church was quiet as the
Billy moment took effect.
He continued. “Jesus let kids hang out with him. That’s cool. I love him.”
“Do you ever talk to him, Billy?”
65
“I talk to him every day. A lot.”
“What’s he telling you?” asked Pastor Jim.
“He says, ‘Help my people’.”
“What do you think He means by that?”
Billy paused and put his chin in his hands and thought about the question for a while. It was
a good question. If God told us to help His people, what would we do?
Billy looked up at Pastor Jim and said, “God says to love one another. It helps people when
we love them. That makes God happy.”
“Amen, Billy Blue Sky. Amen, little brother.” He took Billy and walked him down the three
stairs to the floor level.
“Folks, the elders are going to pray over Billy now, and thank the Lord for delivering him.”
Several men walked to where Billy was and stood close to him, reaching out to touch his
arm, shoulder, or head. One man in a wheelchair rolled up and laid a hand on Billy’s arm.
When they started praying Billy put both of his hands on the man in the wheelchair and
closed his eyes. The church was quiet and expectant. My phone beeped and powered down. All
around me I could hear the sound of phones powering down on their own. People were looking
up with surprise, grabbing their phones. A murmur of noise rolled through the church.
Pastor Jim noticed. He finished praying and dismissed the church. Billy chatted with the
elders, comfortable being one of the boys.
66
We were waiting for people to walk past us so we could fetch Billy, so I spent a few minutes
talking with Jim. More like staring at him as he talked about his life and growing up. My
attraction to him was growing exponentially, and he knew it. We both could feel it, and neither
one of us knew where it was going. We longed for the unknown but were a little frightened by it.
A gasp went up from the front of the church, a commotion was under way near the stage. I
was immediately concerned for Billy, but couldn’t see past all the people winding their way
down the aisle. I stood up on the pew. Billy was fine, but he was not the cause of the excitement.
The man in the wheelchair had gotten out of his chair and was now walking slowly but
steadily down the aisle. No one moved for what seemed like an eternity as the man slowly
walked to the first pew. He sat down and the church erupted in applause.
I collected Billy and headed for the side aisle where there were fewer people blocking my
way to the atrium. Sunlight was streaming in through the stained glass windows, coloring the
pews and the people. It was beautiful.
As we approached one of the windows, the sunlight refracted in the panes and momentarily
blinded me. I had to stop and put my hands up. When I peeked through my fingers I could see a
figure with light streaming around her. It was Gabby.
“Gabby!” Billy cried, and ran to hug her.
“Hello, Billy, mon ami. Now will you go and wait with your grandmama? She is just there
in the foyer.” Billy ran off and Gabby stood before me. In a brilliant flash of revelation, I knew
who she was.
67
“You’re not really a doctor, are you?” I asked.
“Oh, but I am a very good doctor. The best. I am a healer.”
“But that’s not why you’re here, is it Gabrielle?”
“Why do you say these things, Linda?” she asked softly.
I looked at her for a long while. It would have been awkward with most people, but with her
it was not. She was radiantly beautiful and very easy to be with.
“You know I’m an investigator, Gabby,” I said. “I’m good at putting things together. I took
French in high school. Gardienne means guardian. Gabby is short for Gabrielle, which is the
feminine version of Gabriel. Gabriel the guardian angel. And come to think of it, no one else but
me and Billy has ever spoken to you.”
Her expression changed. Softened. She began to glow, slowly at first, but building until she
burned like a fire. All that remained of her face were her eyes. All else was pure radiance that
consumed everything around me until my entire being was filled with the light, and her eyes. At
first I was frightened, but then consumed by the beauty of her eyes. They were kind and
peaceful, and I was not afraid.
Then she diminished and it was just Gabby sitting next to me.
“What did you see and feel?” she asked me.
“I saw you as pure light and energy. Very powerful. I felt peaceful and protected.” I looked
around to see the reaction of Gabby’s explosion of light. Everyone should have seen it, but no
one was looking our way. “Why was I chosen?” I asked.
68
“Chosen?”
“To see you for who you really are. No one else sees the light the way I do whenever you
come. I don’t even think they see you. Every time you show up the most powerful radiant light—
like nothing I’ve ever seen before—blinds me. When I touch you I can feel your heart. And you
keep showing up. You came for Billy, didn’t you?”
“Yes, and for you too, Linda.”
“Why?”
“To watch out for you both. To witness and report to my Master.”
“Who is your Master?”
“My Master loves that Billy calls Him ‘Sky Daddy.’ That makes Him so happy. He wishes
all people would love Him like Billy does.”
“Why is this happening to Billy?”
“He was chosen as a sign of my Master’s love for all people. It is a great honor to be chosen
by God.”
Suddenly my head exploded with light and piercing waves of pain washed through me. I
simply could not deal with what I was hearing. Too much had happened in too little time and
now I was talking to an angel. Or losing my mind. Or both. A fearful light was filling my head. It
felt like glass shattering. Too much. Too sharp.
69
“I have a blinding headache,” I said, bending over in the pew. “My head is so full. This is
impossible. I’m talking to an angel!”
Gabby put her hands on my head. The pain receded instantly. She leaned into me and spoke
softly. “You have seen and talked with a supernatural being, Linda. It is too much for you to take
right now, so I am going to reduce this memory.”
I woke up with a start, standing on my feet, staring at the stained glass. I laughed and Gabby
laughed with me.
“I think I was daydreaming,” I said. “Let’s go find Billy.”
“No, you go ahead,” she answered. “I want to pray for a while.” She sat in a pew and the
sun found her again. She glowed. People were still streaming out of the church, but no one was
looking at Gabby, or me for that matter. I noticed that Gabby did not close her eyes when she
prayed, but stared straight ahead, a beatific Mona Lisa smile on her face.
I left her there and walked down the aisle into the atrium. Jim and Billy were thumb
wrestling while Anika tickled her dad. Billy was using both hands. Cheating in other words. My
parents were there, talking to a neighbor. It was quite a tableau my family made. It now seemed
natural to consider Jim and Anika as part of our family.
“Guess who’s here?” I said to Jim.
He pushed Billy away, saying, “Billy, you won, even if you did cheat. Now, go play with
Anika.”
“Who’s here?” he asked me with a curious look.
70
“Doctor Gabby, from the hospital. She’s inside praying.”
“Doctor Gabby?” Jim said with a quizzical expression. “I don’t know a Doctor Gabby.
What’s her full name?”
“Doctor Gabrielle Gardienne. She’s part of your exchange program from France.” I know I
was starting to sound a little hysterical, because I was worried again about losing my mind.
“Linda, we don’t have an exchange program with France, and as far as I know, there is no
doctor with that name at the hospital.”
I grabbed Jim’s arm and dragged him into the sanctuary. I pointed to where Gabby sat,
sunlight falling on her.
“Are you telling me you don’t know that woman?” I asked, raising my voice with
exasperation and pointing at Gabby.
“What woman?” said Jim.
“Stop playing, Jim! Are you telling me you don’t see that woman sitting in the pew?”
“I see sunlight coming in through a window and lighting up a pew up there, but that’s about
it. The church is deserted, Linda.” He looked at me with concern. “Linda, I think you need to sit
down.” He tried to lead me to a pew, but I pulled away and bolted down the aisle to where
Gabby was still praying. I slid across the pew to her. She kept praying.
Then she opened her eyes and smiled at me.
71
“Don’t be afraid, Linda. My Master is pleased with you. Don’t be afraid for He is with you.
So am I. No one else can see me but you and Billy. I should have told you this before. You are
not crazy. I must go but you will see me again. I am with you always. You are an investigator,
and I am a guardian.”
She winked, and then she slid right through me. I felt her move through every pore on my
skin, every hair on my head. I could feel her heartbeat repeated multiple times. I could taste her
inside of me. Then she was gone, and I knew I would be okay. I wasn’t crazy. Not yet.
I walked to Jim and took his hand. We gathered up our family and went home. Nothing
more was ever said about my lunatic moment at the church.
72
Chapter 10
Linda
Billy Blue Sky went viral on a Sunday. When the elder got up out of his wheelchair and
walked in church, six hundred people were in the church that day and perhaps two hundred
witnessed the healing. I knew that most of those two hundred had email accounts and many of
them had Facebook accounts. I knew that the word would get out quickly, but I just didn’t think
it would happen so fast. The tremendous power of social media became evident to me that day.
I started getting calls as soon as we left the church. Within an hour I stopped taking them
and my voicemail filled up. Friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers were calling me,
hoping to get in on a special thing. I had over one hundred emails when I got home. It was
overwhelming.
Jim came over with Anika and Velvet. The four adults huddled at the kitchen table and
made a game plan, while Billy and Anika played games with Velvet. I wanted to play with the
kids and pretend nothing had changed. But it had.
“He healed that little girl at the hospital,” said my dad. “He healed my hip. Then he healed
Joe. The guy’s got ALS for crying out loud. We gotta tell people the truth!”
73
“No, we do not have to tell people anything, Dad,” I replied with some force. “We’re not
talking about some grown-up evangelist here. We’re talking about your ten-year-old grandson. If
we tell people the truth about Billy it could ruin his life. And ours.”
“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic, honey,” chimed in my mom.
“I am not being melodramatic, Mom. I know how people can be. If they think we have an
honest-to-God faith healer living here, we are in big trouble.”
Jim put his hand on my arm and smiled at me. I felt some of the tension drain. That smile of
his—and his presence—certainly had power over me. The right kind of power. I realized that I
was, in fact, being melodramatic.
“I think you’re right, Linda,” Jim said. “We have to be careful about what we say. But the
truth will come out eventually and we may want to get out ahead of it.”
Everyone stopped and stared at Jim, like he had just spoken in tongues, or had started
speaking in Russian. We waited for him to continue. He looked back and forth at us, waiting for
one of us to respond. Finally, he sighed heavily and jumped in.
“Okay, so maybe I’m not a PR guru, but it just strikes me that if we do nothing, they may do
much worse. Something happened today at church that was mind blowing. The same thing
happened to Maggie and Bonnie at the hospital, not to mention Henry’s hip on the way to
church. The cat is out of the bag, and we can either try to spin it in the way we want, or others
will drag it through the streets the way they want.”
74
My mom had a horrified look on her face, while my dad tried unsuccessfully not to laugh at
her. I figured Jim was probably right. We couldn’t take the ostrich position on this; there was no
place to hide. The story had been exposed and it was live, spreading rapidly even as we
conducted our little pow-wow.
The house phone rang and I shut my eyes, not wanting to deal with it. My dad answered it
and walked out to the front room as he talked to the caller. I could see him pull the curtains back
from the bay window and look outside. He hung up and walked back into the kitchen.
“That was channel six,” he said. “That lady reporter who comes on at five.”
“What did she want?” I asked.
“Well, honey, she wants to interview you and Billy.”
“Absolutely not. We are not going down to the station or wherever for some lousy interview
so they can terrify my son.”
“Well, no, baby girl. You don’t have to go down to the station. She’s outside on the front
porch with a camera crew.”
I stood, really pissed off about these people coming onto my property. Who did they think
they were? I headed for the front door with a look of murder in my eyes. Dad and Jim both
intercepted me.
“Get the hell out of my way!” I demanded.
“Linda Marie Pearlman!” my mother said. “Don’t you use that language in this house.”
75
I readied my verbal canon for a reply, but after looking at the fire in my mother’s eyes and
hearing the use of my middle name, I relented and sat back down, crossing my arms with the
sullenness of a teenager.
My dad and Jim were still standing.
Dad said, “Honey, let’s invite her in. She sounds nice enough and this way we can control
the setting and what they see and hear.”
Jim nodded agreement. “This is exactly what we were talking about, Linda. Let’s stay out
front of this and control the spin as much as we can. Inviting them in is the move of an honest
and innocent citizen offering to help.”
My mother had a pursed look on her face and I asked her what she thought.
“I don’t know about these things, honey,” she replied. “I don’t think it can hurt and your
father and Jim are probably right; if you can control it then that’s a good thing. But I don’t really
know what’s right. This is your call, honey.”
By now I had calmed down and was able to rationally consider an emotional situation. The
news channel was simply doing its job, running down a potentially amazing story about a kid
who healed a man in church. I wondered how much the reporters knew about the hospital. I had
signed the document agreeing not to talk about it, but the news team might already have
information. The only way to find out was to do the interview.
I asked my mom to clean up Billy and went back to change into something a little nicer and
to refresh my makeup. My dad invited the crew in and they set up in the living room.
76
***
I put my church clothes back on. I figured I might as well look halfway decent and it was
Sunday. How would they know I was an on-again, off-again churchgoer? Who cared?
Billy was in control, no surprise there, when I walked into the room. He was making faces at
the camera and watching himself on the monitor they had hooked up. He was also flirting with
the very pretty reporter, who was obviously captivated by Billy. I paused to watch them. Clearly
she knew he was important and softening him up for the interview was a good idea. But she
seemed genuine and liked Billy, so at least my hellcat radar wasn’t going off.
She noticed me and smiled, putting out her hand. “Hi, Ms. Pearlman. I’m Benita Williams
from News Channel Six.” She had a strong grip. We exchanged a few pleasantries, and I cut to
the chase.
“Tell me exactly what you want to cover with this interview, Miss Williams,” I asked in my
interrogation voice.
I was pushing her on purpose to see how she handled the pressure, and to see if she slipped
up and admitted anything out of line. It was a technique I had learned from some cop friends
over the years, and from a lot of the good detective thrillers I was known to read from time to
time.
77
She looked me in the eye, and in a more measured manner replied, “We are following up on
a story about a man at your church, a Mister Joe Jacobs. He says, and witnesses corroborate, that
your son may have healed him today at church.”
“So you already interviewed Mister Jacobs?” I asked.
“Yes, we did. Let me show you some of that tape, as it does a great job of setting up your
interview.” She motioned to her cameraman , who punched a button. The monitor showed Joe
Jacobs, standing outside of his house, a smile on his face.
“I have ALS,” said Joe, looking off camera. “Or I had it. For the past two years I’ve been in
a wheelchair, losing more and more of my muscle control. ALS is not a pretty thing. Your body
pretty much wastes away, but your mind stays sharp.
“All I know is that there I was at church with all the other elders. We were praying for Billy,
for his body to heal quickly and to give thanks to God for his recovery. I was sitting in my
wheelchair, and he was standing right in front of me. I put my hand on his arm, and he put both
of his hands on my chest. His eyes were closed. I think he was praying. So I closed my eyes and
started to pray too. That’s why we were there, you know.
“I felt hot all of a sudden, and my legs got tingly. It was the strangest feeling, but I felt
strong again, like a kid ready to go run outside just for fun. I opened my eyes and Billy was
smiling at me. He looked really tired. My body felt strange, like it was waking up. I was worried
at first. Thought maybe I was having a stroke or something. Billy looked down at me and said,
‘Stand up and walk.’ So I did.
78
“It was a miracle from God, I’m here to say. I stood up from my wheelchair and walked
down the aisle of my church for the first time in two years. I didn’t make it past the first pew, but
still, it was a miracle. Look at me!”
Joe put his arms out and spun slowly around in a slightly drunken circle. Then he walked
right up to the camera and said, “I can walk again. I was a cripple and now I can walk again,
thanks to Billy Blue Sky.”
They stopped the tape. I was speechless and a little angry that she had jumped me that way.
But I knew she was just doing her job, and the interview with Joe was golden. And she did seem
like a good egg, so I trusted my instincts and moved ahead. We brought some chairs in from the
kitchen. Billy and I sat close together, while Benita sat close to the camera, facing us. She had
wisely turned the monitor so only she could see it, much to Billy’s disappointment.
After they fussed with the lights and mics, we began.
“Misses Pearlman,” began Benita. “What can you tell us about what happened at your
church today with Mister Jacobs?”
I looked down at Billy, who was fidgeting. I held his hand and he calmed down a little; I
could feel him focus on me.
I looked up at Benita and replied, “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what happened at
church today. It was pretty amazing, that’s for sure.”
“Mister Jacobs said that he and the other elders were praying for Billy when it happened.”
“Yes, they were all surrounding him.”
79
“Do you think Billy healed Mister Jacobs, as he claims?”
“I don’t really know what that means. How could he heal someone? What does that even
mean? Billy is ten years old. He’s just a kid, not a faith healer.”
Benita turned to Billy and smiled. “They call you Billy Blue Sky,” she said. “How did you
get such a great name?”
“My mom calls me that. When I was a baby I ran outside. I said, ‘Blue sky, blue sky.’ So
she calls me Billy Blue Sky. That’s my name.”
“Billy, can you tell us what happened to Mister Jacobs?”
“Sky Daddy healed him.”
“Sky Daddy? Who is Sky Daddy, Billy?”
“God.”
That was it. Now the spiritual cat, or holy-roller cat, was really out of the bag, and it was
huge, like a saber-toothed tiger. My son was talking about God. Completely innocently and
disarmingly like only Billy can, but the God door was wide open now, and I expected it would
stay open.
I looked beyond the camera at Jim and my parents. They had pleased looks on their faces.
So why wasn’t I pleased? Maybe because I was the protective mom, always ready to defend her
son. But I didn’t know how to defend against spiritual stuff. I was way out of my league. They
believed in things they couldn’t even see, while I refused to believe in things I had seen happen
as clear as day.
80
“So God healed Mister Jacobs?”
“Yes, he did.”
“Why do you think God healed Mister Jacobs?”
“Because he loves him! This much.” Billy spread his arms wide and smiled. I knew that clip
would be viewed countless times on TV and YouTube. Classic Billy.
“Billy, did you heal a girl named Maggie at the hospital?”
I jumped in, hard. “I’m really sorry. We’re not allowed to discuss what happened while
Billy was in the hospital. You’ll need to discuss that with hospital administrators.”
Benita nodded her head in understanding, as if she had expected I would say that. I was sure
she had already spoken to the hospital. She must have discovered some things on her own,
otherwise she wouldn’t have known about Maggie.
Billy looked disappointed that he couldn’t talk about Maggie, then brightened, saying, “I
healed Gampa’s hip today!”
I shook my head with exasperation, realizing that I was no longer in control. To make
matters worse, my dad blurted out, “He sure did. On the way to church he did it. It’s a miracle!”
And there was the ‘miracle’ word, out for all to hear. My son, the miracle healer.
I stood up and said, “Come on, Dad, you can take the hot seat.” They took my microphone
off and wired my dad. He sat down next to Billy, who gave him a huge hug and climbed into his
lap.
81
“This is my Gampa,” said Billy, patting Dad’s chest. “You can call him Henry.”
Benita laughed. “Thank you, Billy, I will if that’s okay with your Gampa.” It was just fine
with Gampa, who loved being the center of attention from a pretty young thing like Benita. He
had even put on cologne, the Old Turkey.
“Henry, can you tell us what happened today on the way to church?”
“Sure I can, little lady.” That was my dad going rogue John Wayne. “We were on the way to
church and I was complaining about my hip. My right one, here.” He patted his right hip and
stretched out his leg. “See, there’s no pain. Before Billy did his thing, it hurt pretty much all the
time. We were looking into getting a hip replacement, right Billy Buckwheat?”
“That’s right, Gampa Goofy.” They laughed together.
“What did Billy do?” asked Benita.
“He told me to lay back in my seat, so I dropped it all the way down so I was practically in
the back seat with Billy. He put his hands on my head and closed his eyes.”
“Billy was praying,” said Billy, nodding his head.
“Then what happened, Henry?” asked Benita.
“I fell asleep!” He started laughing again and Billy joined in.
“You fell asleep, old timer!” laughed Billy.
“You better watch yourself, Buckwheat,” said Dad, tickling Billy.
82
“So nothing happened after that?” prompted Benita.
“Well, sure it did,” said Dad. “When I woke up I felt great. When we got to the church,
Billy took off running, and so did I. I caught him, for crying out loud. I haven’t run like that in
five years.”
“What do you think happened?”
“I think God happened. Through Billy.”
She turned to Billy and paused. Billy stared at her and smiled. They liked each other, it was
plain to see.
“Billy, why did you heal your Gampa?”
“I love him!”
“Did God help you?”
“Yes, he did.”
“Why does God heal people through you, Billy?”
“Because He loves them. He loves Gampa. He loves Mister Joe. He loves Maggie and Nurse
Bonnie. God loves everyone.”
The room was quiet, in the midst of another Billy moment. Benita could feel it too. I saw a
tear slide down her cheek. She didn’t wipe it away. Billy saw it too, and his expression softened.
He walked over and hugged her where she sat. The camera operator lifted the tripod and stepped
back to get the scene on tape.
83
“Don’t cry, Benita. Don’t cry. Be happy. God loves you.”
Benita broke down in sobs and covered her face. The interview was over. Billy ministered
to Benita in the way only Billy could. I watched it unfold from across the room, standing next to
my mom and Jim. I watched as my son was exposed as the sensation that he has always been, but
now with an added twist: a little boy with the power to heal people. I didn’t know where his
power came from, but it was there. It was real and could not be denied. Some would say it was
all God, but all I could see was Billy.
I didn’t know where it was going, but I knew we were going there. We were off to see the
wizard, and I was sure that more strange things and dangers lurked along the way, just like in the
movie. The problem was, I didn’t think the dangers were going to be as obvious as they were in
the Land of Oz.
84
Chapter 11
Linda
One week later, Billy’s father came back to town.
Billy was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, watching a Disney show with one eye,
and reading a book on his iPad with the other. We’re pretty much high-tech multitaskers around
the Pearlman’s.
The home phone rang. It was Steve. I walked around the corner into the dining room so
Billy couldn’t hear me.
“What do you want, Steve?” I asked, all pretense of cordiality missing.
“You sound pretty defensive, Linda,” he replied. “Are you okay?” He sounded sincere, and I
found myself drawn to his natural magnetism. But then I reminded myself of what he had done
to his own son, that his morals were built on sand, and I found my stride.
“Yeah, I am pretty defensive, Steve,” I admitted. “There’s a lot going on right now with
Billy. And I never know who I can count on to stick around and look out for him.”
“That was a long time ago, Linda.”
“No, Steve. It’s every day. Every day Billy is reminded he doesn’t have a full-time father.”
There was a pause on the line. Steve must have realized I was in no mood for games.
85
“I heard you found a new guy, Linda.”
It was such a juvenile thing to say, hoping it would get my goat. And it did. I’m not sure
why it did, but I instantly was on the defensive. Steve enjoyed his momentary victory while I
tried to think of the right thing to say, while the silence stretched out between us.
“Cat got your tongue, baby?”
“I’m not your baby, Steve, and you know it.”
“Does your doctor friend call you ‘baby’?”
“I’m hanging up on you, Steve.”
“I want to see my son,” he replied with some force and a little regret. He had enjoyed
baiting me. “I have the right and I want to see him. I’ve heard some of the news reports, and I’m
concerned about him.”
I paused to think about what he had just said, considering the plausibility of his concern. He
did have a certain love for Billy, but Steve always was first concerned about himself. So in the
end my Truth Detector wasn’t even moving, and I decided this was just more bull from an MIA
father.
“Gee, Steve,” I said. “That’s really very touching. I’m really moved by your sincerity. Oh,
wait, no I’m not. My son just had major surgery, so now’s not a good time.”
“Now is a good time and now is a time that fits my rights as stipulated in our agreement,
Linda. So quit being a jerk, and let’s move forward.”
86
Steve was right, of course. For him, I was a jerk. He did have the right to see his son, so we
made the arrangements. I hung up the phone just as Billy came around the corner, a smear of
jelly on his lip.
“Was that Daddy?” he asked, hopefully.
“Yes, it was, Billy. He wants to see you.”
Billy’s face lit up like a neon sign. Once again I was reminded how my son just wanted to
be with the ones he loved. For him, the past was the past, dead and gone, and the now was now.
He loved his daddy and would always forgive him and see him whenever possible. If it was up to
Billy, Steve would move back in tomorrow. If only life was that simple, I thought.
“Yayyyyyyyippeeeeeeeeeeee!” he yelled, and promptly ran around the house yelling, “My
daddy’s coming. My daddy’s coming!”
***
Steve picked Billy up Saturday morning, purportedly for another baby-daddy fun day. He
said they were going to the Norfolk Zoo and then would just see what came next. Billy was
excited, wearing his Norfolk Zoo hat, bouncing off the walls as he waited for his dad.
The only good thing from these monthly get-togethers was that I had a free day to catch up
on things I needed to around the house or at work, or I could have my own play day, take naps,
or do other things that I liked. Sounds a bit egocentric, but the truth is that raising a kid is a lot of
87
work, and raising a special needs kid like Billy is even more work and can be exhausting. No
wonder more than eighty percent of the couples break up, leaving the mom to go it alone. A
single parental exclamation point!
I worked in my office with the door open into the family room, so I could hear my parents
and some of the TV. Dad was multi-tasking, reading a book and flipping back and forth between
sports and various news channels.
Shortly after lunch my dad said, “Holy crap!”
To which Mom replied, “Henry!”
“Look,” Dad said, pointing at the TV. “Steve and Billy are on CNN!”
88
Chapter 12
Steve
I picked Billy up from Linda’s and we headed for the zoo. Billy was super happy because
we were riding in my black Mustang GT with the top down. I bought the car about a year ago,
just before I lost my job.. Linda didn’t know anything at all about my problems, and I had hoped
to keep it that way.
All she cared about was the monthly mortgage payment. And for nine years I had been on
time every month; twelve hundred bucks every single stinking month. But that unbroken string
was about to come to an end, unless I quickly found a new source of income.
I looked over at Billy, my new meal ticket. Billy was in happy land, as usual, sticking his
hands and his face up into the slipstream of air zooming over the windshield. I had grown to love
my son, but I always felt like there was something more, something missing. I was used to the
looks of pity from other people, and had managed to find a way to be “proud” of being Billy’s
father.
But the truth was, I made these visits partly to infuriate Linda. It was her fault Billy was the
way he was. I knew all about the extra chromosome and that it took two to make a kid. But she
could have agreed to an abortion when we found out the fetus had Down syndrome. He wasn’t
89
even a kid yet, just some floating cluster of cells inside my wife’s belly. It would have been so
easy to try again for a healthy child. A normal kid.
Not Linda. She fought me tooth and nail and in the end refused, so I had no choice but to
cave. . Why dodn’t people ever side with the dad, I wondered for the thousandth time? It should
be a joint decision, but since we were split on it, she won, and we wound up with a special kid,
but not the kind of special I was hoping for. In my mond, I had been dealt a bad hand. And it
wasn’t the first time.
Cards were part of my current predicament.. A big part.
At first it had seemed so innocent. I played in a monthly poker game with some buddies
from school and the office. I started winning more hands, and grew fascinated by the techniques
and science of the game. I started thinking more and more about it, reading books, watching
poker on TV, and getting advice from serious players.
Then my buddy Rick took me to Atlantic City for a weekend.. We had a free two-bedroom
suite, because Rick was “a player,’’ meaning he spent big money there every month. He could
afford to. Rick had made a fortune in real estate, and now enjoyed fast cars, women, and
gambling on a regular basis. Ah, the life of a rich, single man! That was the life I wanted, and I
wanted it now.
Once I split from Linda, I had achieved the women and the fast cars part, but the money
had not arrived. I made a steady living as an electrical engineer and was good at my job. But then
I started spending more and more time thinking about gambling while at work, and I started
making mistakes. Rick noticed my growing infatuation with gambling and tried to warn me..
90
“Look, Steve,” he said. “Gambling is supposed to be a fun diversion, not a lifestyle. You
can’t win, man. Not enough to make a living. Only a few can do that. The house always wins in
the end and if you put too much into this you will lose big. Are you hearing me, old buddy?”
“Yeah, I hear you, Rick.” I told him. “I’m listening.”
For a while I did listen and managed to ignore the call of the gambling sirens.. Things got
back on track at work. I was dating beautiful women and the sex was great. I had a fast car.
All seemed under control, until I took another trip to Atlantic City with Rick. I won big and
went home with eleven grand. Winning left me high, a drug that proved addictive and, ultimately
destructive. Gambling became my raison d'être. My calling. I was like a dedicated amateur
golfer shooting a single perfect round and deciding to go pro based on that one game. Only an
idiot would do that, I knew, but I was deluded and naïve.
That was two years ago, and two years was all it took to unravel a life completely. I snapped
back to the present and listened to Billy making horn sounds and pulling his “air” horn at the big
rig we were passing. The driver tooted his horn and Billy laughed and clapped his hands.
I watched Billy out of the corner of his eyes, hoping that I could cash in on my son’s gift.
Billy would be my paycheck and my way out. Normally I would never have considered
exploiting my son for money, but after the first visit from Vincent, the “friend” of the Atlantic
City pawn shop where I owed a loan shark just shy of one hundred grand, I was frightened for
my life.
Vincent showed up at my apartment, unexpectedly. My doorbell rang and I opened the door.
I had never seen him before, but I knew who he was. He was from Atlantic City, he had killed
91
people and he was going to kill me too. All that went quickly through my mind. I wanted to slam
the door in his face, but he was already moving past me into the apartment. He was completely at
home, relaxed and unconcerned. I actually had the thought that he had come to tell me my debt
was paid off. Wishful thinking, as it turned out.
“Hey, Stevie, you got a beer? I could use a cold beer if you got one.”
I got a beer and handed it to him, already seated on the couch like he owned the place,
which in a sense he did. He pointed to a chair opposite and said, “Have a seat, Stevie. We need to
talk.” I sat.
“My name’s Steve,” I said. “Not Stevie, just Steve.”
“Sure, sure. I got it. So look, Stevie. Nothing personal, but you owe us a hundred large. You
know this already, so I’m sorry to be throwing up spilt milk and all.” I almost laughed at the
euphemism but wisely kept my mouth shut, waiting for him to finish.
“Like I was saying,” he continued. “This is just a friendly visit to see how you’re doin’. See
if you still have your job, still makin’ money, that kind of thing. So… how you doin’, Stevie?”
He spread his arms out in a display of concern, but somehow it didn’t jibe with the shark death
eyes.
I had asked around about Vincent after I ran up my debt and he called me, describing
himself as a personal friend of Ricky Vaspasian at the Atlantic City Pawn Shop. A cocktail
waitress at the Brown Pelican Casino had told me about the AC, as she called it, after I had
complained about needing more money. I started by borrowing five grand and quickly paid it
back. Then on one big weekend I borrowed twenty grand, paid it back and walked away with ten.
92
Ricky and I were practically partners. Then I had a run of bad luck. Really bad luck. A hundred
grand of bad luck, and Vincent had finally come to collect. Or kill me.
I sighed heavily and told him the truth. “I’m okay, Vincent. But I don’t have the money yet
and I don’t know how I’m going to get it.”
He made a few “tsk’’ sounds like my mother used to make when she felt sorry for me. She
always sounded like she was concerned, but when Vincent made the sounds it was frightening,
like buzzards clicking their beaks while waiting for dinner to die below them.
“I feel bad about your situation, Stevie, I really do. That’s why the casino asked me to give
you an incentive, in hopes that you will do the right thing.”
Once again I was momentarily filled with hope, but then I remembered who I was talking to,
and that the issue of a hundred large was immensely serious and would never be forgiven or
forgotten.
“What incentive?” I asked.
“Funny you should ask, Stevie. Funny you should ask. Here’s the deal: we’re gonna give
you two months to come up with the money.”
“Two months!” I cried. “How the hell am I gonna come up with a hundred grand in two
months, Vincent?”
He held up his hands in a stopping motion. “You haven’t heard the incentive yet, Stevie.
You ready to hear it?” I nodded my head, fearful and hopeful all at once.
93
“If you don’t have the money in two months, then you are going to go away on a very long
trip.”
I didn’t get it at first and must have looked confused, because he continued, “A permanent
trip, Stevie. A trip you don’t come back from. A trip where you’ll never see your little retard son
again. That kind of trip. Get it now?”
I nodded my head, realizing that my life was over, but that wasn’t good enough for Vincent.
“I need to hear you say you understand what I said and agree to our demands.”
So I swore to have the money in two months and said I understood that if I did not have the
money I would have to go away, which I understood was a euphemism for going away in a
casket to a cemetery. Not a trip I wanted to make anytime soon.
***
Soon after Vincent’s visit, I called my friend Tom Brown, a publicist with BigBiz Media in
Arlington. They dealt primarily with political celebrities and the entertainment business, but I
figured Tom could steer me straight and tell me whether they were interested in Billy. I sent him
the source material, the interviews, YouTube videos, and contact information for some of the
people who Billy had healed.
Tom called me back a day later.
94
“Holy shit, Steve!” he said.
“Is that a good ‘holy shit’ or a bad one?” I asked.
“Very good, old buddy. This thing has legs like you wouldn’t believe. So far it contained
mostly down in the Virginia Beach area, that’s good for us. Not viral yet. There have been some
feeds to a few local stations, but nothing national. We talked to the players, the people Billy
healed. They will do anything for him. They love the kid. Big love, Steve. This stuff can’t be
made up. Or at least this doesn’t sound made up. We even talked to Benita Williams, the
reporter. She got choked up talking about Billy.”
“So what do you think we should do?” I asked.
“What I think is good stuff. Big stuff!” He was practically giddy and I have to admit that I
was feeling it too. “We want to handle this. I talked to the partners yesterday. Billy is unique.
Nothing like him has ever happened before. A ten-year-old kid with Down syndrome healing
people? Are you kidding me? If it was an adult or even a normal kid, we wouldn’t touch it. Well,
maybe. But this feels and smells and looks real. We don’t even know where it could go.”
“Is there any money in this, Tom? I’d like to be able to send Billy to college and set him up
for life. And quite frankly, I could use some cash.”
There was a pause on the line, then Tom replied in a quieter, more reserved manner. “Yeah,
Steve, there could be big money. If the Enquirer or another rag wants an exclusive, they could
pay big. And then there are the talk shows, daily news. Maybe some of the respectable print
media. We’re thinking big churches may want him too. Paid speaking gigs. Definitely a book.
95
And of course this could be a killer movie and Hollywood could be interested in buying the
rights. So yeah, all things are possible, sport.”
“How much money are we talking about, Tom? I mean, I know you can’t quote anything,
but give me a range.”
“Steve, we don’t like to give quotes without a lot more info, but our people have gone over
this and we’ve made some initial inquiries. There is significant interest. The idea of a special
needs kid having some kind of supernatural power is blockbuster stuff, bro.”
“Just give me a broad range,” I pushed.
“Okay, buddy, but this is only for your ears.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it, Tom.”
“On the low end we probably are looking at income of two or three hundred thousand. On
the high end we’re talking two to three million. Maybe more”
I couldn’t talk for a moment, overcome with relief and emotion. This would answer all my
problems and get me back on track to success. I could clear out my debts and stake some new
games. But this time I’d do it right. I’d be smart.
“Did you say, ‘millions,’ Tom?”
“Yes, that’s possible. It all depends on how the rollout goes. Just keep in mind that you get a
third, Steve.”
“Yeah, I get that. So what do I have to do next?”
96
“You’re going to need to come in and sign a contract for you and Billy. We’ll have to work
out the details for the launch, but after that, we’ll take care of everything. All you have to do is
bring Billy to the press conference down in Norfolk. We have the perfect spot in mind.”
I went in to see Tom three days later and signed the papers, which turned my son into a
commodity. Did I feel great about doing that? Not completely. But the alternative was far worse
than taking advantage of my son’s gift. If I didn’t try something he wasn’t going to have a dad
much longer.
Ten days after signing the papers, I was taking Billy to the press conference. Right after a
visit to the Norfolk Zoo, so I could fulfill what I had told Linda. I didn’t tell her about the press
conference because she would have ruined it. Wait ‘til she sees that on TV, I thought, with a
smile. Oh baby, the dookie is going to hit the fan, and Linda the Wicked Witch of the East will
ride again!
***
The Billy Blue Sky event to launch Billy’s career as a superstar was held at the Crescent
Moon Cruise and Celebration Center in Norfolk’s harbor area. It was an area Billy and I had
visited several times, mainly because of the cool stuff at the Nauticus naval museum next to the
cruise center and the gigantic battleship Wisconsin, tied alongside.. Touring the Wisconsin was
one of the few places I ever saw Billy get reverentially quiet, almost like in church. After each
visit it was a sailor’s life for him, and he swore he was going to join the Navy when he grew up.
97
The Crescent Moon could easily hold up to 1,500 people, but based on similar events,
BigBiz had planned on seating for a relatively small crowd of 100. They expected a lot of press,
some local special needs community advocates and possibly people from local churches. They
started pushing the event two days prior to the launch, partly to keep Linda from finding out
about it.
They had to bring in more chairs.
An hour before show time there were close to 500 people inside, and a line was forming
outside. A steel band played Caribbean rhythms on the outside deck. Vendors sold food, drink
and other things they thought people would buy. A festival atmosphere pervaded the place, along
with a certain religious undertone and expectation. Billy couldn’t believe all the people were
there to see him. We went in the back way, which Billy didn’t like as he wanted to greet his
“posse.”
Rock music filled the room and stage area. Security guards were in evidence, as if a national
star was coming. BigBiz had spent big money on what they hoped would be a big payoff. Tom
was relieved when he saw Billy and me make our way to the stage where he was waiting. A
murmur rose in the crowd when people saw Billy. It changed to a deep-throated roar when Billy
realized they were happy to see him and ran up onto the stage and waved at the crowd.
A large graphic covered the back wall. It showed a photo of Billy with the words Billy Blue
Sky. He had been turned into a logo. He loved it and ran up to the image and hugged it. The
crowd applauded.
Tom and I stood below the stage, looking up at Billy.
98
“Look at him, Steve!” said Tom with admiration. “He’s a natural, man. They love him.”
“Yeah, he’s not afraid of anything, that’s for sure. Except for spiders.”
We looked at each other and laughed. Tom said, “Get him down, Steve. He’s giving it away
too soon. Get him down.”
I ran up the stairs and walked to the back of the stage where Billy was waving at his huge
poster. Billy jumped into my arms and I started to carry him down off the stage. But Billy
squirmed down and lifted my arm up like a prizefighter, pointing at me and inciting the crowd by
lifting his other hand up, up, up. It was a little embarrassing, but also totally cool.
“That’s my dad!” yelled Billy. He wasn’t wearing a microphone, but his voice carried to the
front rows and his body language was unmistakable. The crowd loved it and began chanting,
“Bill-eee, Bill-eee, Bill-eee!” I loved it too. The last time a crowd had roared for me was on a
high school football field. Billy and I started posing and playing on stage, until Tom literally
dragged us off.
“Come on, rock stars,” he said, with excitement in his voice, leading to the VIP waiting area
behind stage.
“Dad, we’re rock stars!” said Billy, high-fiving me as we walked.
“Pretty cool, Billy Blue Sky,” I agreed. “They love you, son.”
“They love us both, Dad. We’re a team.” Billy hugged me, and I hugged him back. If this
was called exploiting my son then maybe I should have done it a long time ago, because I had
never felt so close to Billy.
99
Still, I suffered a moment of guilt about taking advantage of my son’s new abilities. I wasn’t
even sure if they were real.. And of course I hadn’t told Linda about the launch, and how I had
signed away our son’s life to a publicity agency. Then I thought about the money I owed and
things came back into focus. Sharp focus.
I was realizing that Billy was worth a fortune if he really was able to heal people. Why
shouldn’t I be the person introducing his son to the world? I was his legal father and had joint
legal custody according to the agreement. But that was a slippery slope, I knew, and expected
Linda to fight back, hard.
But that was later, and this was now. Now was the time for Billy and me to take the stage
and kick off a rock star tour.
100
Chapter 13
Linda
I ran into the room and looked at the TV, but it had gone to a commercial. My dad was
standing with my mom. Her face was white with shock and she was shaking her head. She
looked so concerned that I put my arms around her. Then dad put his arms around us both, while
we waited for Billy to come back on CNN.
“It was just his picture, honey,” my dad told me. “Maybe he’s not really coming on live.”
I grabbed the remote from Dad and switched it to MSNBC. They were reporting live from
the event I knew nothing about. There was a large caption on the bottom of the screen that said,
“THE BILLY BLUE SKY LAUNCH. LIVE FROM NORFOLK, VIRGINIA.” I literally saw
red for a few moments, such was my rage at Steve. How could he do this? How could I have
missed this? Then I remembered that after the overwhelming response to Billymania, I had
stopped going online for the past few days. I needed a break, so I took it by shutting down my
links to the outside world. But I had missed any talk of the event, and they must have kept it on
the lowdown.
I forced my concentration back to the TV.
There was a lively crowd, rock music blaring, and an empty stage with what looked like a
talk show setup of several high, folding director’s chairs, one with the words Billy Blue Sky
101
lettered across the back. I noticed the huge picture of Billy on the back wall; very professional.
Steve had set this whole thing up, that snake. I put aside my thoughts and listened in as the
reporter began coverage.
“Thanks, Dave. We are here at the Crescent Moon Cruise and Celebration Center in
Norfolk’s downtown harbor area. As you can see, behind me we have a very excited crowd.
They are here to meet Billy Blue Sky. Billy is the son of Steve and Linda Pearlman from
Virginia Beach. He is ten years old and has Down syndrome.
“But that’s not why everyone came today. They came because Billy has healed several
people in the past few weeks.”
The TV changed to a split screen so the anchor could weigh in.
“Michelle,” began the anchor, “do we know anything about any of these so-called
healings?”
“Dave, according to reports, Billy touched the lives of at least four people in the area. One
of them was a twelve-year-old girl named Maggie Brown. Maggie was terminally ill with
leukemia when Billy visited her in her hospital room. We happen to have Maggie and her mom,
Janine Brown, with us today.”
The camera zoomed out, and there they were. Janine looked frightened, but Maggie looked
like a million dollars, happy and alert. Hard to believe she had been close to dying a month ago.
The camera loved her.
102
“Maggie,” began Michelle, “Tell us about that day at the hospital.” I knew that Janine had
not signed an agreement with the hospital, and that I might take some heat as a result, since Billy
was the source of this media coverage.
Maggie spoke in her little girl voice, but with great conviction. “I had leukemia. My mom
told me they were going to take me home to die soon. I was ready and didn’t like the hospital.
The nurses were nice though.”
“What happened when Billy visited your room?” asked Michelle.
“I was asleep and I saw him in my dream. We were running down a hill together towards an
old man at the bottom of the hill. He seemed nice and I wondered what his name was. Then I
woke up and Billy was there. I felt better.”
Michelle turned to Janine and asked, “Mrs. Brown, your daughter was terminally ill and
then she had a complete recovery. What did the doctors say had happened?”
“They couldn’t explain it at all. One of them called it a medical miracle.”
“What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know exactly,” replied Janine, tears streaming down her face. “I’m not a doctor. I’m
just a mom. All I know for sure is that Maggie was dying. Then Billy came into the room. He
touched her and she was better. Billy happened to Maggie, Ms. Thompson. Billy did something
and it saved Maggie’s life.”
“Do you think he healed her?”
103
The camera zoomed in for her reply. She paused for a beat, then she turned and looked
directly into the camera. “Yes, I think Billy Blue Sky healed my daughter.”
My world crashed in on me. My son had just been called a healer on national TV. Now I
didn’t just have to worry about local crazies or people at church trying to exploit or bother my
son. Now things had gone global, and the pebbles we had dropped into the local pond had
become a tsunami..
They went to commercial and I came out of my trance.
My mother wondered, “Why didn’t Janine call us? How could this happen right here in
Nofolk and we didn’t know about it?”
“Steve set this whole thing up, Mom,” I replied, acid dripping from every word. “He
planned the whole thing. Probably hired a big PR firm. They got in touch with the local folks
Billy has helped. I bet you ten bucks they bring out Joe Jacobs and Nurse Bonnie. They probably
thought we would be there. This is really low, even for Steve.”
“Well, he has no right to do this!” My mother was pacing by now, a sure sign of her
agitation. It took a lot to upset my mom and you had to look for the signs. Pacing was just the
first.. She looked over at me. I looked down and shook my head.
“Does Steve have the right to do this, honey?” she asked me.
I met her gaze with a sad look. “Yeah, Mom. Steve does have the right. We have joint
custody, but I’m the primary caregiver. Steve has full rights as Billy’s dad while he is with him.”
104
Mom stopped pacing and stared at me for a second. “Why on earth would you agree to that
with that despicable man?”
She was simply asking the question I had asked for years. For me it had been simple: I
wanted to give Steve a chance to become the father Billy needed. Or at least become a real dad.
Dads are there. They love their kids. They show up. Now Steve had shown up in an
unimaginable way.
“I did what I thought was best for my son. Not your son, Mom. He’s mine. I wanted Billy to
have a father and that is the end of the story. Not another word!”
I stared her down and she visibly wilted. I walked to where she was standing and tried to
put my arms around her. She pushed me away and clenched her fists.
“I won’t have it, I tell you. I won’t have it!” Her fist was now coming down on her open
palm, the second sign of anger. When I was a kid, Mom’s fist pumping was never a good thing.
It only happened when I had crossed a line. Steve’s breach clearly crossed a line in my mother’s
world. He was dead meat.
“Shhhhh!” Dad hushed us, pointing at the TV.
After Janine had been interviewed, MSNBC cut back to the national anchor for a news
wrap-up. They had returned and the same reporter was speaking, the empty stage visible behind
her.
105
“Thanks, Dave. The Billy Blue Sky launch is about to start here and…” A loud rock guitar
riff interrupted her. She pointed to the stage and stepped out of the frame. The camera zoomed in
onto the empty stage.
A deep voice announced over the PA system, “Ladies and gentlemen, from Mount Calvary
Baptist Church, please welcome Bishop Corey McGraff.”
A well-dressed black man bounded up the five stairs to the stage. The crowd lit up and made
noise as he turned to them. I had seen him before, on TV and in the local media. He was a fairly
well known black preacher with a large congregation in Norfolk. He had a Sunday TV show,
had written a few books, and seemed to have a good PR machine, showing up everywhere.
He was easy to like and listen to. He looked to be about forty five, with just a little gray on
the temples of his short black hair. The camera closed on him. His eyes were beautiful, sienna
brown with yellow and green flecks. I’m a sucker for eyes. He waited for the crowd to quiet. He
had an unmistakable presence about him.
“Well, he certainly is a nice looking black man,” offered my mother. We turned to stare at
her. She rarely commented about men, but such was the power of Bishop McGraff.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began. “I am so pleased to welcome you here to the launch of
Billy Blue Sky.” The crowd was obviously filled with some of McGraff’s congregation, and he
had to wait again for them to calm as he waved them to order.
“My name is Corey McGraff. I am privileged to be the pastor of Mount Calvary Baptist
Church. Some of our people are here, as you can tell by the noise.” More clapping and laughing.
“Two thousand years ago, a Jewish rabbi started healing people. Not just once, or twice, but
106
many times. Not just witnessed by a few, but by thousands. It is part of history and backed up by
credible eyewitnesses. It really happened.
“Today you are going to meet a young boy who has been healing people. Some of these
people are here today. I did not see these healings, but I believe they happened, based on the
eyewitness accounts and the historical record. The documentation. Some of you may ask if this is
true. That is for you to decide, not me. Some of you will ask if this is natural or from God? Also
for you to individually decide. Some of you will ask, why would God use a little boy with Down
syndrome?”
He paused for effect. The crowd was quiet, waiting for him to give them the answer. This
guy was good.
“My answer might start with, ‘Why not?’ Why wouldn’t God use a kid with special needs?
All things are possible according to God. I for one have no problem believing what I’m hearing.”
He paused and looked over the crowd. Then he looked directly into the camera and said, as
if to all the millions of people watching him, “Do you? Do you believe in miracles?” The crowd
roared their affirmative to him and he smiled down at them. “Yes, you do, and so do I.”
“Now, before we meet this remarkable young man, let’s bring out three people who Billy
has touched and healed. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Maggie Brown, Bonnie
Simpson, and Joe Jacobs.”
The crowd applauded as the three climbed the stairs. Maggie and Bonnie were on either side
of Joe. Each held one of his elbows as they carefully made their way up onto the stage. Joe was
107
walking, carefully. I knew that he was getting rehab to build up the muscle mass he had lost over
the past few years of being wheelchair-bound.
As they took their seats, I thought about how they had been caught up in Billy’s life. And
mine. Even though I was angry about the situation, I tried to think about it rationally. They were
there because they had met Billy, and something had happened to them. They were there to tell
their story. They wanted to help. I accepted that.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen,” continued McGraff. “It gives me great pleasure to
introduce you to the star of the show, the boy who seems to be changing the world, one person at
a time. Please put your hands together and welcome Mr. Billy Blue Sky!”
He appeared from the side, running. I couldn’t help but smile. His enthusiasm was
contagious. Anyone could clearly see he was very happy to be there. He ran onto the stage with
both arms in the air, fists pumping, and hugged each of the three people he had helped, then he
hugged McGraff. The crowd was going nuts, and started a Billy chant.
“Bill-eee, Bill-eee!”
McGraff motioned for Billy to go forward and accept the crowd’s adulation. I could see they
had put a lavaliere mic on his shirt. He was never shy about playing the crowd and being the
star. His fists pumped in rhythm with the crowd’s chant. They loved him and got louder. He
clapped for them. I cried and clapped too. We were all clapping for Billy.
McGraff walked up beside Billy and put an arm around him, putting up a hand to quiet the
crowd. “What do you think, Billy? What do you think about all these people?”
108
Billy looked up at McGraff and said, “I love them!” And I knew he really did. McGraff
walked Billy back to his special Billy chair and helped him up into it. Then he took a seat.
“Billy, tell us about yourself,” began McGraff.
“I’m Billy Blue Sky!”
“How did you get that name?”
“My mom gave me that name when I was a kid. I chased birds around.”
“So you’re not a kid now?” asked McGraff.
“No, silly man. I’m ten years old,” replied Billy. The crowd laughed and he laughed with
them.
“What happened to you at the hospital, Billy?”
“I got open-heart surgery. You want to see my scars?”
Apparently no one had prepped McGrath for that little part of Billy’s character: a complete
lack of fear mixed with a desire to share. But in the end it didn’t matter. Billy took McGrath’s
momentary silence as a yes and bounded out of his chair. He stepped up to the edge of the stage
and unbuttoned his shirt. Same as in church. I could only smile as I watched my son show off his
scars.
“The doctors fixed my heart,” said Billy, holding his shirt open so the crowd could see his
scar. “It doesn’t hurt.” A murmur of noise swept through the crowd as Billy went back to his
chair, tucking in his shirt.
109
“Thanks for showing us that, Billy,” said McGraff softly. “Tell us about Maggie. What
happened on the day you visited her?”
Billy got out of his chair and stood next to Maggie, holding her hand. “This is Maggie, you
guys. Say hi!” The crowd said hi. Billy looked at Maggie.
“Maggie is my friend. She had cancer. She was sleeping when I met her. I prayed and Sky
Daddy came to see her.”
“Who is ‘Sky Daddy’?” asked McGraff.
“God,” answered Billy. Shouts and applause from the crowd. National TV. My son was
talking about God on national TV. I could only watch, helplessly.
“What did God tell you about Maggie?”
“That he loved her as his most favorite girl.” Billy lifted Maggie’s arm and riled up the
crowd again.
“Then what happened, Billy?” asked McGraff.
“God took away her cancer.”
“How did he do that?”
“I don’t know. I’m just a kid.” McGraff joined in the laughter again. My mom was crying
along with me. My dad was smiling, a proud look on his face.
“Billy, did you heal Maggie?”
110
“No, God healed her.”
“Did God use you to help him heal Maggie?”
“Yes, he did.”
“But why?”
“Because I’m Billy Blue Sky and he loves me!” Billy pumped his fists in the air and stood
again. He walked to the front of the stage. He motioned for the crowd to be quiet, like he had
seen the bishop do it.
“God loves Billy Blue Sky and he uses me. I like it. He loves you too. He will use you if
you let him. You have to let him.” The crowd was so quiet I thought we had lost sound.
“Billy,” began McGraff, breaking the spell. “I want you to meet two people. One of them is
sick, and the other isn’t. Do you think you can tell which one is sick?”
Billy clapped his hands. He loved games. “Yes, I can!” he said. Two women came up onto
the stage and were introduced to Billy. He hugged them both and held their hands, pulling one
forward, saying, “This is Jackie. She’s my friend. Jackie isn’t sick.”
Then he grabbed the other and brought her forward. “This is Carol. She’s my friend. She is
sick in her tummy.”
McGraff stepped forward and asked Billy, “Can you heal her, Billy? Right now?”
111
“Let me ask,” said Billy. He held one of Carol’s hands, and put the other on her stomach. He
closed his eyes. A sigh went through the crowd. It was another Billy moment. We were
witnessing a young boy being asked to heal a woman on live TV.
Billy opened his eyes and hugged Carol. He looked up at her with a serious expression and
said, “I’m sorry Carol. Sky Daddy said you have to wait.”
Carol sobbed and Billy hugged her again. Then the lights dimmed. The TV went black for a
moment, then a quick flash of colored bars and we were live again. McGraff was continuing the
interview.
“…He said he loves you, Carol. Did you feel it?” Carol continued to sob. By now many
people in the crowd were crying. Others were shouting out exclamations like, “Praise God!”
“Glory” and “Thank you Jesus!” Did I just witness my son healing someone on national TV?
McGraff gave Carol a tissue and helped her recover her composure.
“Carol, have you ever met Billy before today?”
“No, I have not.”
“What are you sick with?”
“I have stage three colon cancer.” A gasp from the crowd and from my mother.
“How do you feel now, Carol? Any different?”
“I feel good. I feel at peace.” She turned to Billy. “What a special boy you are, Billy Blue
Sky. God bless you.”
112
Billy laughed, saying, “You bless me, Carol! You rock!”
They cut to the national anchor again, and went to commercial. Then there were some
interviews of Joe and Bonnie. And that was it. Billy’s first press event. Probably not his last. I sat
down, overcome with waves of many different emotions. I wasn’t sure which wave would finish
me. I just wanted to get my son—and my old life—back.
***
Billy
It was so cool to be up there on the big stage with my dad, just the two of us. Super heroes.
But then I remembered Mom and I was sad, because I didn’t think she would want to be up on
stage with Dad and me. Gampa says the bad stuff that happens is “water under the bridge.” I
didn’t know what that meant when I was little, but now that I’m older I know it means that after
things happen they are gone and you can’t get it back. You have to say “see you later, alligator.”
You have to wave goodbye.
There was a gigundo picture of me on the stage and it had the words BILLY BLUE SKY
that were as tall as me. How can my name be as big as me? That made me laugh. I wanted to
take it home and put it in my room, but Dad said it was too big and Tom said it was very
expensive and they were going to use it at other places where I was going to go. I asked how
113
expensive and he said a thousand dollars. I knew that was a lot ‘cause I had one hundred dollars
in my bank account and it took me a year to save that. That means it would take me 10 years to
save up enough money to buy that sign. I wondered why I had to buy my own sign.
I asked Tom if we were going to go on a rock and roll tour. He and my dad laughed at that.
Tom said, “That’s exactly what it will be like, Billy. And do you know who the rock star will
be?”
I held my hand up and said, “Billy Blue Sky!” Sometimes grownups think I’m slow, but I
fool them. Mom says people can’t see inside your head so sometimes you have to show them
you’re smart by acting smart. That way they can see inside of your head.
I wasn’t scared when I went out on stage. Gampa told me people get stage fright, but I never
felt it and I’m glad. But what would you be scared of? I LOVED it! I felt like I was supposed to
be there. Like I belonged there and they didn’t even care I had Down syndrome. Everyone there
loved me. It felt like a bubble bath, when I feel so warm and good and I hear mom singing and
Gampa and Gamma laughing and lots and lots of bubbles. It felt like that.
There were TV cameras there. I waved at them, but the guys with the cameras didn’t wave
back, they just smiled. The crowd of people waved a lot. They waved at me, they waved their
hands back and forth. They sang. There were a lot of black people and they were noisy. Nice
noisy. I could feel them and I know they felt me because they told me they did. Black people are
nice. Gampa calls them colored people and Mom gets mad at him and says he should call them
African Americans and Gampa says they call themselves “people of color,” so why can’t he say
“colored people.” Gamma calls them Negros. I call them nice.
114
One of my best friends is a black boy named Jerome Washington. One day in school he let
me be Jerome and he was Billy. It was fun, but it didn’t make me black and it didn’t give him
Down syndrome. We took our names back. You can’t ever give your name away, Gampa says.
Even when people call you bad names. One day at recess a boy named Sam Wellington called
me “retard” and I laughed at him. He got mad and started hitting me, but Jerome jumped on him
and held him down. He made him eat grass.
Jerome asked me why I was laughing. I told him because Sam Wellington has a funny
name. Jerome said I should not let people pick on me because I have Down syndrome. I told him
I wasn’t the one who ate the grass. He laughed. He told me that black people get picked on
sometime because of the color of their skin.
I looked real close at his skin and held my arm up next to his. My skin is light and has lots
of freckles. The hair on my arm is red and gold and brown. Jerome’s skin is brown like wood,
but like honey on the inside of his arms. His hairs are dark black and curly and thick. We looked
at our arms for a long time, but I could not see one reason to get mad at the color of his skin. It’s
pretty. And besides, he can’t change it unless we got some paint. We talked about that and
started laughing and got in trouble from Miss Prenchly ‘cause we were supposed to be reading.
115
Chapter 14
Linda
Steve called me on the way home from the Billy event. He didn’t try to apologize. Didn’t try
to explain at all. I gave him credit for that. He just said he would explain everything when he
brought Billy home and that he wanted me to meet some people. That’s it. I didn’t talk much. I
just sat there in the den, watching TV but not really hearing or seeing anything.
My mom had gone into battle stations, and was cleaning everything in sight, and fixing
enough food for an army. She brought me some tea and I sipped it. That helped bring me back
down to earth, just the simple act of drinking hot tea made by someone who loved me. I watched
a show on TV and time passed.
Then the home phone rang and mom picked it up. Normally she paces when she’s on the
phone, just like me. But she stopped in the middle of the kitchen, and said, “I’m sorry, who is
this?”
I jumped up and grabbed the phone, figuring it was a reporter or a crank call, or some kind
of weirdo who had seen the Billy Show.
“Hello?” I said into the phone. “This is Linda Pearlman. Who is this?” My no nonsense, no
bullcrap PI voice, guaranteed to put the fear of God into even the bravest cold caller.
116
An authoritative male voice replied. “Mrs. Pearlman? This is Officer Thompson with the
Virginia Beach Police Department. There has been an accident involving your husband and your
son.”
“Oh no!” I blurted. I went completely cold inside and for an instant I thought I had gone
blind. I couldn’t see. My mother grabbed me and held my shoulders, giving me the strength I
needed to continue.
“Are you there, Mrs. Pearlman?”
“Yes, I’m here. Is my son okay?”
“He is being transported in a rescue vehicle to Virginia Beach General. He was responsive.
Looks to have contusions and some mild lacerations, but obviously I’m not a doctor. Based on
my experience, I think he’s going to be fine.”
“What about Steve?”
There was a pause on the line. Not a good pause. I know. I’ve been on the other end before,
trying to decide how to let someone know something bad has happened to a loved one.
“I’m afraid the news is not so good about your husband.” I didn’t correct him, just waited
for him to continue. “The accident occurred at high speed on interstate two-sixty-four. Another
vehicle was merging onto the highway too quickly and your husband hit him. The vehicle spun
several times. Your husband wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was ejected from the car.”
“Is he still alive?”
“Yes, ma’am, he is. But I suggest you get over to the hospital as quick as you can.”
117
We arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later. I called Jim on the way and he promised to meet
us there. First, we saw Billy. Having Jim with us proved to be just the thing. He took over and
issued orders and had the hospital doing whatever he asked for. Amazing. Billy was sedated and
very sleepy, but he knew us and said hi. He asked about his daddy.
Jim examined him carefully. He said he would need to stay for a few days for observation,
since he had just had open-heart surgery. Jim said based on the kind of healer Billy was and all
the evidence, his prognosis was very good. They would still do tests and take pictures to check
for internal injuries and to monitor his heart.
My mom stayed with Billy while Jim and I tracked down Steve in one of the other ER bays.
We caught up to him as they were moving him over to one of the operating rooms. Steve was
unconscious and looked deathly pale. His face was a mess of blood, bruises, tape, and streaks of
fluid. He was unrecognizable. Jim talked to an intern walking with the bed. He gave the chart to
Jim who asked questions in rapid fire. Jim shook hands with the intern and took me aside.
He shook his head. “Steve’s in bad shape, Linda. He was thrown out of the vehicle and
rolled across traffic and struck a guardrail. It’s a wonder he’s even alive, and a miracle he didn’t
get hit by another car. He has major internal injuries, head trauma and has lost almost four units
of blood. Another five minutes out there and he would have bled to death. He’s alive, but
barely.”
118
I guess I kind of blacked out, because I came to a while later in Jim’s arms. I saw my life
with Steve flickering in my mind like a movie. Every scene was there. Our first meeting, the way
I felt, my racing heart. His good looks. Our first kiss. First sex. Having Billy, the breakup. Jim
held me while I cried and plummeted down the emotional roller coaster of my life.
After a minute of near emotional collapse, the Pearlman drive and toughness kicked in, and
I stepped back from Jim and stood on my own. I wiped away the tears and got a grip. This was
not the time to lose it, I told myself. I would be “Stands with Fist” again, the nickname Jim gave
me when I get tough. I held up my fist to him and we both laughed. I would be tough even when
the tears were so close. I had to be, for Billy’s sake.
“We need to take Billy to see his father. Just in case.” Jim frowned, and I knew he was
thinking about Billy’s condition. Then I saw his compassion replace the scientific nature of Dr.
Jim, and he nodded.
We went back to Billy’s room. He was still sleeping. Jim made some calls about Steve’s
surgery and asked for a call back when he was out. We waited while Billy slept. Two hours later
the call came, and Jim made arrangements with the nurses to make Billy transportable; they
disconnected his IV and the leads to the EKG, and unplugged the bed. Within 10 minutes we
were rolling my still-sleeping son down the hallway, into the elevator, and down to the surgical
care ward..
Steve looked awful. He was connected to an array of leads and IV tubes. He had a breathing
tube taped to his mouth. His face was swollen up like a small pumpkin. Red lacerations mixed
with purple and blue bruises. What looked like hundreds of stitches traced his jaw, down his
119
neck were hidden under his hospital gown. The left side of his head was shaved and stitched. A
shunt was taped to his head, and a brownish red fluid seeped out.
I had spent a good deal of time hating this man over the years, yet now all I could feel was
compassion and sorrow. I didn’t want him to die. I didn’t want Billy to lose his father, again.
Two nurses were fussing around Steve like mother hens and they looked irritated when we
rolled Billy in. Jim quickly explained the situation and they efficiently cleared enough space for
us to wheel Billy’s bed next to Steve’s.
Jim told me, “They’re worried most about his blood pressure. It’s dangerously low because
of the blood loss; he’s still in shock. If it stays this low it could lead to a stroke, organ failure, or
cardiac arrest. The goal now is to stabilize him and get his pressure to come back up into the
normal range.”
The younger of the two nurses, Sally according to her nametag, surveyed the sight of the
man and boy sleeping side by side.
“That’s Billy Blue Sky,” she said. Jim and I looked at each other as Sally walked next to
Billy’s bed, took his hand and looked down at his face. “Hello, Billy Blue Sky,” she said.
Billy opened his eyes and said, “Hello, Sally. Is my daddy okay?”
Sally nodded towards Steve, saying, “He’s right next to you, Billy. He’s hurt pretty bad.”
Billy rolled over in his bed and saw Steve. “Daddy! Wake up, Daddy!” He took Steve’s
hand in his and looked him over. “I love you, Daddy.” Jim held me up. I nearly collapsed as
strength drained from my legs.
120
Billy fell asleep holding his father’s hands. Suddenly all the electronic equipment in the
room started beeping and the displays zeroed out. Sally froze, a horrified look on her face. She
stepped out into the open area. All the other nurses were looking at her.
“We’re still up, Sally,” said one of the nurses, moving quickly towards Sally. “Looks like
it’s just your room. We’ll bring in the battery backup.” She slipped into a storage room.
Sally walked back into the room and all the equipment came back on.
“Oh,” she said, matter of fact. “Looks like it’s back. That was strange.” She came over and
double-checked the equipment, which functioned normally. After another minute, she gave us
the one-minute sign and we stood and watched Steve, hoping something would happen. Sally did
too, when she wasn’t fussing with the equipment or working on one of the other issues
surrounding her new patient. She constantly monitored Steve’s vitals.
“His blood pressure’s going up,” said Sally. “Look at that.” She pointed to the blood
pressure monitor and we watched the numbers going up. It had been 85/42 when we came in.
Now it was 90/50, and moving up a few points per minute.
“Get a manual BP,” said Jim. Sally quickly removed the automatic blood pressure cuff on
Steve’s arm and wrapped the manual cuff. She pumped it and we waited as she read the dial and
felt Steve’s pulse. She looked up at the last reading on the automatic blood pressure monitor.
“They match within two points, doctor,” she said to Jim. “Looks like he’s coming out of
shock.” She looked across at the still sleeping Billy and said, “I’ve never seen a patient in this
kind of shape recover this quickly. It almost feels miraculous.” She winked at us.
121
She replaced the manual cuff with the automatic. Then she said, “I need the room cleared,
doctor. Maybe you should take Billy Blue Sky to visit a few other sick people on the way to his
room? He may have just saved his daddy’s life.”
As she was talking and taking the blood pressure readings, I moved in closer to Steve and
looked at his face. It looked like someone had photo-shopped his bruises and cuts from his face.
He still looked awful, but most of the worst wounds were gone or fading. I wondered how
quickly he would get well so I could give him a piece of my mind.
He opened his eyes, saw me, and smiled a little. There was pain in his smile.
I pointed over to where Billy was dozing in his bed and gave Steve a thumbs up, letting him
know Billy was okay. We both looked together, two parents looking at our son.
“I’m sorry, Linda,” he said after a while. “I shouldn’t have done it.” Tears were streaming
down his face. I was momentarily shocked speechless. I had never seen such a display of
emotion from Steve. The fact that he woke up feeling bad about his actions was also amazing to
me. Everything was upside down.
I patted his arm. “Cat’s out of the bag now, Steve. Billy’s gone national. Our son’s a super
star now.”
“He’s an amazing kid, Linda, he really is. I saw stuff today I didn’t think I’d ever see. Billy
has power. The power to heal.”
“He sure does, Steve, and you better be real thankful for that gift.”
He looked confused. “Why’s that?” he asked.
122
“Because he healed you, Steve. You should be dead, but your son brought you back to life.”
Steve looked back over at the still-sleeping Billy. Tears continued to trickle down his face. I
realized I could be looking at a changed man, and hoped that would be the case.
***
Steve
Out of the frying pan and into the fire, they say. Just when it seemed like maybe I could get
my life back on track, I wrecked my beautiful Mustang. They told me it was the other guy’s
fault, but I just felt like I could have done something. In my dreams I see myself magically
avoiding the wreck, but real life isn’t like that. Real life is fast and sometimes you can’t do
anything at all. All I saw was a blur coming off the ramp and then BANG. Then Billy screaming.
Then nothing.
I had a terrible dream. I was drowning. I was out in the water at night, looking in at the pier
on the oceanfront. The whole Boardwalk was lit up like a beacon and waves of colored light
were shooting up into the sky like the aurora borealis. At least it was a pretty way to die, I
thought.
I waved my hands for the people to see me, but I was too far out and it was dark. I started to
swim in towards shore, but my legs wouldn’t work right, and my arms were too heavy. I felt
123
tired and realized I wasn’t going to make it. Then I heard a boat and saw a light coming towards
me. I couldn’t see the boat because the light was so bright, but I heard someone calling out my
name.
“Steve,” said the voice. “Oh, Stevie boy. Where are you?” It was Vincent, the tough guy
from Atlantic City. I felt even colder than the water and was afraid. The water was going to kill
me, but now I was even more afraid of dying by a shark named Vincent. I tried to swim away
from him, but my arms wouldn’t work.
I heard him laugh, closer to me now. “I see you, Stevie boy. Here I come. I got just the thing
for you, buddy. I’m gonna save your life with a red cowboy.” What the heck was he talking
about? What does a red cowboy have to do with drowning and saving me? I was actually pissed
off at him in my dream.
Finally, I saw the shadow of the boat, and the shape of Vincent leaning over with something
large. He shined the light on the thing. It was a giant playing card, a king of hearts turned into a
raft—the red cowboy. He tossed it into the water, next to me, and I slowly pulled myself in. I lay
there on the face of the king like a beached whale and thanked God for saving me. I didn’t care if
he used a goon like Vincent, I was just happy I would see Billy again. That’s all I cared about.
Vincent pulled the raft in with a boat hook. He looked down on me for a while, shining the
flashlight up onto his face, giving him a Frankenstein look. “I got something for you to take with
you, Stevie boy. Something to keep you company on your trip.”
“What trip?” I croaked, looking back at the shore.
124
He laughed and stared over at the Boardwalk. “Oh, you ain’t going back there, Stevie boy.
You’re going to see my friend Davy.”
He bent down and came up with a large bucket, and poured it into the raft. The clinking and
clanking was loud and deafened me. They were chips. Casino chips. But these were made of
solid gold and they were much heavier than casino chips. They filled the raft and began to cover
me. The raft got lower in the water. Vincent was laughing and continued to empty one bucket
after another into the raft. Water trickled in to fill the raft and I began sinking down into the
water.
I couldn’t swim. I couldn’t move and the chips weighed me down and held me on the raft as
we slipped under the surface of the water. So this is what drowning is like, I thought. I breathed
the water and didn’t drown. I sank to the bottom under my pile of gold and the sharks came to
eat me. They were lit up by their own strange red light, and their eyes glowed. They were
coming to kill me and I knew my time had come. I was ready, but I felt bad for my son. I felt
bad that I wasn’t a better dad, and felt bad I hadn’t been there more for him. I was glad that my
last thoughts were about Billy.
Then I saw a white light in the water, coming toward me. It was a figure carrying a light. It
was Billy walking on the bottom of the water. He waved at me, but I couldn’t move because I
was dead.
“You’re not dead, Daddy,” Billy said.
125
He looked at the sharks and said, “Go away!” They left. Billy walked over to me and took
my hands and lifted me out of the raft. I didn’t know how he had the strength to do that, but he
lifted me as easily as I used to lift him. Like he was the parent and I was the kid.
The water was gone and we were in a field with flowers and grass. The sky was blue and the
sun was warm on my face. Billy was still holding me, looking down at me, smiling. I felt good
being in his arms. Then I remembered all that I had done and felt awful. Tears came.
“Don’t cry, Daddy,” said Billy. “It’s going to be okay. I forgive you. You’ll always be my
daddy, no matter what.”
I woke up from my dream, thanking God for a second chance. Billy was asleep and I was
awake.. I knew he had saved me. I knew somehow God had used him because he came into my
death dream and pulled me back. I promised myself that I would make it up to him and not let
the cards and the gold pull me back under. I had been given a second chance.
126
Chapter 15
Linda
Jim was able to get Billy released from the hospital in two days, which seemed like a
miracle considering all the tests they conducted on him. They were primarily concerned about
his heart and possible internal injuries. But Billy had been wearing his seatbelt and the front and
side airbags had done their job, cushioning him from the force of the impact. Mainly he was sore,
and a bit grumpy to be back in the hospital, away from his school friends, his video games, his
family, and home cooking. He wanted fried chicken and mashed potatoes from his Gamma.
During his stay he had learned how to score ice cream whenever he wanted. Which meant
all day long, or until Momzilla put her foot down. Steve continued to miraculously improve, but
he was going to be in the hospital for another two to three weeks, according to Jim.
We arrived home on Wednesday to discover our front yard covered with stuffed animals,
flowers, balloons, cards, posters, and other assorted material. Two cars were parked in the street
and people were adding a new stuffed animals and flowers. I drove into the garage and shut the
door behind me, happy to be home. I wasn’t ready for a shrine in my front yard. But Billy was.
“Mom, did you see all those stuffed animals?”
“I sure did, Billy Boy.”
“Are they all for me?”
127
“Yes, they are.”
“But why?”
“Because you were in the hospital, Sport. Maybe if we read some of the cards we can find
out.”
“Great idea, Mom!”
We were greeted by my parents, a living room full of flowers and the best of the stuffed
animals. I frowned at my parents and they put their hands up in supplication.
“We couldn’t just leave the flowers out there to die,” said my mom.
“Yeah, and these are some nice stuffed animals,” said my dad. “Come and see, Billy!”
There was a thick envelope on the table with Billy’s name on it. I picked it up, saying,
“What’s this, more cards?”
“No,” replied Mom. “There’s about $10,000 in cash and checks in there.”
“Holy crap!” I blurted.
My mom paused to give me a look, but thankfully remained silent as she busied herself
around the kitchen, preparing dinner. I had been at the hospital for the past two days, so we
caught up. I told her about Billy’s condition as well as Steve’s. She filled me in on the shrine.
“The day of the accident was quiet at first, but by nine that night, the front yard was filled
with candles. It was beautiful.” She stopped and put a hand on her chest and stared out at the
128
memory of that night. “It still makes me cry thinking about it. Complete strangers lighting
candles in our front yard because of a common bond they have with Billy. Amazing.”
We spent the next few hours reading cards. Jerome came over and helped us sort through
everything. Billy liked me to read them out loud while he walked around holding different
stuffed animals, then putting them in lines for mock battles with Jerome. He asked if we could
answer some of the cards, especially to the kids who wrote. I became his secretary as he dictated
his replies on a large stack of thank you note cards my mother had stashed away. Billy insisted
on signing his name on every card Billy Blue Sky. He would draw a little balloon on a string
above his name. That was new.
“Dear Richie,” Billy dictated to one boy who had given a stuffed dinosaur and a card,
obviously filled out by a parent, but signed by Richie. “Thanks for the awesome dinosaur. I will
feed him one of the stuffed ponies I got.” My dad laughed long and hard at that, Billy with him.
It was a guy thing, so I rolled my eyes and did my job of being the lady scribe.
“I am all better now. Love, Billy.” Short and sweet, just like my son.
The doorbell rang and my mother answered. I knew I could rely on her to keep the wellwishers at bay. Billy ran after her, shouting, “Who is it?”
Mom led in a nice looking man in his forties wearing an expensive suit, no tie, and carrying
a briefcase. My hackles automatically rose and I stood, ready to do battle. For some reason of
late, men in suits with briefcases did not give me the warm and fuzzies.
But my mother seemed taken with the man and said, “Linda, this is Tom Brown with Billy’s
PR agency.” I knew that meant it was Steve’s PR agency, but I was very interested in what he
129
had to say. I shook his hand and invited him to sit. My mother brought him coffee and cookies.
My dad continued watching a game, feeling safe in the signals his wife was giving off about the
new man who had just entered his house.
“I just left Steve at the hospital,” began Brown. “Your husband is lucky to be alive,
according to the doctors.”
“Steve and I have been separated for nine years,” I replied somewhat stiffly. “We share the
same last name and our son.”
He glanced over at Billy, who was playing with some of his stuffed animal army, as he
called it. “Steve thinks Billy healed him.” He looked me in the eye and waited to see how I
would respond to that.
“All things are possible,” I replied.
“According to God,” my mother answered from her knitting station. We turned to stare at
her until she said, “Well, everyone knows that is a famous line from the Bible, ‘All things are
possible according to God.’” She turned to continue her knitting, and Brown and I continued. My
mother’s comment irritated me a little, but in a strange way it calmed me down to know I was
quoting Scripture. Yet more proof that the world had turned upside down.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Brown?”
“Please, call me Tom,” he replied with a cheery grin. “Steve asked me to come over and see
you. I argued against it, so soon after Billy got out, but Steve said we owed it to you to share the
exciting news about Billy.”
130
“What exciting news?” I asked quietly. Any “exciting news” from Steve was apt to be
strange or difficult news and not particularly good news.
Tom pulled out a contract from his briefcase and handed it to me.
“Steve signed this contract on behalf of your son three weeks ago. Normally we don’t take
on kids as clients, but Billy’s exposure was growing rapidly, and he was going viral and
becoming a phenomenon. We agreed to take him on, and put together the event in Norfolk. Did
you see it?”
“Oh yeah, I saw it on that TV,” I answered crisply, pointing to the TV Dad was watching.
“The question is why wasn’t I there?”
Brown put up his hands. “I wanted you there. It would have been better from a public
relations standpoint for both parents to be there. But Steve was against it, and said that if you
found out about it you would have shut it down.”
“You’re damn right I would have shut it down!”
“Linda Renee Pearlman!” said my mother, hands on her hips. “Not in front of my grandson,
please.”
I stared bullets at my mother, but she had wisely turned away. I calmed down and looked
over the contract. Steve had effectively signed Billy up to do a promotional tour, starting with
New York City and then heading west. It looked very aggressive, more like something a rock
star or famous author might take on, not a young boy.
“This is absurd. You can’t just take a ten-year-old boy to New York City!” I exclaimed.
131
“Actually we can, according to the contract. But I’m not going to take him, Mrs. Pearlman.
You are.”
“I haven’t agreed to this contract and I have no intention of taking Billy to New York or
anywhere for that matter, on some kind of a promotional tour. He’s not a rock star, he’s a child.”
Brown grabbed the contract and turned it to a page towards the end. He read, “If the Client’s
father is not able to fulfill the contractual elements of the contract, then the mother or other
guardian assigned by the Client’s father shall be required to fulfill the obligations.”
He handed it over to me and said, “Look, Mrs. Pearlman. I have two kids. I am not trying to
cause trouble or interfere. We went over all of this with Steve, and have spent a huge amount of
money on the expectation that Billy would produce income. So for me this can’t be personal. It is
just business.”
“People always say that when they are going to rip you off or do something dreadful.”
“Not in this case. We have already secured several offers and interview requests. We’ve also
talked to two New York publishers who are interested in a book deal. Hollywood won’t be far
behind. The money offered is sizable and would greatly benefit Billy.”
“And Steve, I’m sure.”
“Yes, Steve is taking half of Billy’s fees as his manager.”
“I know about his gambling problem, Tom.”
“So do I. We’ve been friends for a long time. This may be the way that Steve gets back on
track and is able to overcome his addiction. As you said, ‘all things are possible’.”
132
That was a startling admission, and it softened my feelings about Tom Brown.
“Okay, Tom. How much money are we talking about?”
“Just for the tour, we think we can get upwards of $80,000. The book offers are hovering
around $200,000, but they will go up as the tour progresses.”
“Holy shit!” I blurted.
“Linda Renee…” my mother began, but I cut her off with a barked, “Mom, I’m not ten
anymore!”
Then I said to Tom, “That’s a lot of money. How much of that would Billy actually get?”
“Our fees are about a third, similar to a law firm. So if we’re talking about two hundred and
eight thousand , Billy would get about the same amount as my firm and Steve get: about ninety
three thousand. Enough to pay for college, or at least to put away for his future. By the way,
we’ll take care of everything. All you have to do is show up and have fun.”
I pointed to the contract and said, “Can we start with the New York interviews? Billy would
love to make that trip, I’m sure.”
Billy heard me say, “Billy would love…” and ran over to me.
“What would Billy love, Mom?” he asked me.
“How’d you like to go to New York City and see the Statue of Liberty?”
“And the Empire State Building?”
133
“That too, big guy. You wanna go?”
Billy clapped his hands together and danced around the room, yelling, “Yay! Billy Blue Sky
is going to New York!”
134
Chapter 17
Linda
The New York tour was arranged for the following week. We left early Thursday morning
and flew up to LaGuardia. Because of Billy’s celebrity, he was recognized on the plane by one of
the flight attendants, and we were instantly bumped up to first-class seats. I settled in for the
flight, while Billy schmoozed with the flight attendants and talked with passengers.
Most had seen him on TV or had heard about him. News of him swept the plane, and soon
heads were craning to catch a glimpse of the boy who could heal people. Billy helped matters by
walking down the aisles and high-fiving all the passengers, who seemed taken with my son, and
his boundless enthusiasm. Eventually the flight attendants had to shoo him back to his seat prior
to landing. He was beaming.
“Mom, these people are nice.”
“Well, of course they are, Billy. What did you expect?”
“I fixed two boo-boos.”
“Ahh, and who had the boo-boos?”
“One girl had a hurt foot. And a man had a tummy boo-boo.”
“Inside his tummy?”
135
“Yes, it was.”
“But he’s all better now?”
“Yes, he is.”
And so it went on the Billy Blue Sky Tour of Adventure. Never a dull moment traveling
with Billy, that’s for sure.
After retrieving our bags we found our driver, who was holding up a BILLY BLUE SKY
sign and followed him out to a Lincoln town car. His name was Freddy. People pointed at Billy
as we passed. So this was what celebrity felt like, I thought. I might as well have been baggage,
for all the attention people were paying me. But that was just fine with me. I was the muscle. The
mom. The Mominator.
Driving into New York was a treat. Billy rode up front with Freddy and they became instant
pals. Freddy pointed out all the sights like a good tour operator, and let Billy play with the radio
and open his power window at will. His favorite trick was to run up the sound proof privacy
window closing off the driver’s area from the passenger’s.
Billy would start the window going up and look back at me, saying, “Oh no, Mom, don’t
leave me.” Then he would keep talking but I couldn’t hear him. I could see him though, as he
high-fived Freddy and they laughed together. They were pretty cute. I pretended to be outraged.
Tom had booked us at the Sheraton, so it would be an easy four-block walk in the morning
to Rockefeller Plaza and the GE Building, where we would appear on the Today Show. I had
watched the program for most of my adult life, and the prospect of actually going on the show
136
seemed surreal. I was thankful that I was just the mom of the star, and would not have the
questions thrown at me.
For the rest of the day we walked around New York enjoying the sites. We walked to
Central Park and fed the ducks and ran in the grass. A man there let Billy fly his remotecontrolled airplane. Afterward, Billy swore he was going to be a pilot. So much for following
after his mother and becoming an investigator. He would certainly stand to make more as a pilot
than as an investigator, that’s for sure.
Then we stopped in for a quick tour of the Museum Of Modern Art. Billy loved the art,
especially the mobiles and abstract work. He also liked the Impressionists work and was taken by
Picasso.
“It looks like pictures from inside my head,” he said about one Pablo Picasso painting.
We loaded up on hot dogs from a street vendor and then headed south for Times Square, our
last major stop before heading back to the hotel. As I expected, Billy was amazed by all the neon
and electronic signs. He stood in the middle of the street with his hands up, spinning around and
around saying, “Lights…. Action….. Camera!” Where did he get this stuff from? Probably my
dad.
We hung out and ate at Hard Rock Café, then went outside to the hustle and bustle of Times
Square, where five-story electronic signs competed with the foot and street traffic of Broadway
and Fashion Avenues. Even the people were electric and Billy could feel it.
After lunch, we did several interviews line up by Tom Brown. I learned that there is a
rhythm to them. I also learned, once again, that they were not there for Billy Blue Sky’s mother,
137
but for the star. He held up well, even though I knew he was tired. By the last interview he was
yawning and fidgeting. We took a taxi back to the hotel and napped away the afternoon.
That night I took Billy to his big surprise for the weekend: the production of the play, The
Lion King. It was spectacular. I wasn’t sure how Billy would react to live theater versus a movie,
but I had nothing to worry about. He loved it. Billy had watched The Lion King DVD hundreds
of times. Every time a new character came out he would shout at the top of his lungs, “Simba!
Hi, Simba!” When Pumba, his favorite character, came out, Billy said, “Pumba, over here! It’s
me, Billy!” I was embarrassed when several people turned to look at my son, but they were all
smiling, and he was one of hundreds of kids going absolutely spastic with excitement.
The rest of the night Billy would shout, “I love you, Pumba!” whenever the fat warthog
appeared. I stopped worrying about it and started screaming with him, as did our entire section of
the crowd. We walked back to the hotel, laughing and singing, bone tired. We slept like babies.
***
Billy
New York was super cool. Gampa told me millions of people live there and I saw a lot, but I
don’t know what a million people looks like. The buildings were so big you couldn’t see the
tops. I wondered if it was scary living up there and if you opened your window would birds fly
138
in, or could you see people inside airplanes. I got to fly in an airplane going to New York. Mom
said we were going four hundred miles an hour. That’s faster than NASCAR, what me and
Gampa like to watch that sometime. They go two hundred miles an hour. Faster than Junior. So
the plane I was on goes super fast!
People walk fast in New York. They must have things to do and are very busy. They don’t
smile too much or wave at you like back home. But the really nice ones stop and talk to you.
There are a gazillion cars and everyone uses their horns to make each other go. I like the yellow
taxis and we got to ride in some of them and I talked to one driver who talked funny ‘cause he
was from Bazooka-stan. I like Bazooka bubble gum and I asked him if he does. He laughed.
There were a lot of people lying on the sidewalk. They had dirty clothes and they smelled. I
felt bad for them and asked Mom if we could help them. She said they were homeless and I
asked her what happened to their homes. And she said they lost them and I told one man I hoped
he found his home again. He put out his hand and asked me for five dollars. He smelled like
Gampa after he had two of his Saturday cocktails.
I asked Mom for the five dollars and she said no, ‘cause the man was just gonna buy some
wine, and the man said, “She’s right, buddy.” So I asked him if he was hungry and he said yes
and we went to a diner on the corner.
“He can’t come in here,” said a lady at the diner, pointing at my new homeless friend.
I said, “This is my new friend, Larry. He doesn’t have a home ‘cause he lost it. My name is
Billy Blue Sky. We’re hungry and we have money.” The lady looked up at my mom. Mom
looked down at me and smiled. I love Mom.
139
Larry ate a bowl of soup, a chicken sandwich, and two plates of French fries. He asked for a
beer and the lady said, “We don’t serve beer and if we did you wouldn’t get it.” So he drank
three Coca-Colas instead. I had root beer and told Larry I was drinking beer. He laughed so hard
snot came out his nose and Mom said, “Oh!” That made me and Larry laugh harder. Once at
school Jerome made a really funny face during lunch and I laughed so hard a piece of cheese
sandwich came out of my nose. I smelled cheese all day long.
140
Chapter 18
Linda
Show time. The next morning we were up, bright and early. Our segment on the Today
Show was on at seven, and we had to be in the greenroom by six fifteen. The show had their limo
outside the hotel waiting for us. Service for the star and his one-woman entourage.
We made it down to the GE Building and Rockefeller Center in a matter of minutes and
were ensconced in the green room with time to spare. Billy and I were taken into makeup
together. They draped paper shawls around our shoulders. Billy’s makeup artist was very pretty
and he noticed, putting on a full court Billy charm school for his new student.
“You are pretty!” Billy said, looking at her in the mirror.
“Well thank you, Billy Blue Sky,” she replied.
“How did you know my name?” asked Billy.
“Everybody knows your name now.”
Billy leaned forward so he could see me, a smug look on his face. I was trying not to laugh.
“Mom, did you hear that?”
“Hear what, Billy?”
141
“Vanessa says everybody knows my name.”
“What is your name?” I asked. I started laughing and Billy figured out I was pulling his leg.
He sat back in his chair, shaking his head slowly.
“That’s my mom,” said Billy. “She thinks she’s funny.”
While we were getting the royal treatment, Jerry McGee from the news desk came in. He
explained that he would be interviewing us. I was a little disappointed that it would not be Matt
Lauer or Ann Curry, but McGee explained that his brother had Down syndrome, and he had
specifically asked for the honor of interviewing Billy.
It was immediately apparent that Jerry had a lot of experience with special kids and put
Billy—and me—at ease. He wasn’t Matt, but he was charming and easy on the eyes, and Billy
loved him. I felt better right away. Once again, Billy amazed me. Here I was the adult, the one
who should be calm as an example for my nervous child, when the reverse was true.
Billy was completely comfortable and playing around as if we were at home, whereas I was
nervous and sweaty. The makeup artist patted me down again and gave me ice water just before
we went on.
They walked us by the main set and we could see Matt and Ann talking on air. It was very
exciting. I kept my hand on Billy and a finger to my lips to remind him to not say a word. We
went into a smaller room with a set. Billy and I sat close together in director-style chairs, and
Jerry took a chair just to the side of the camera that was on us. Another camera off to the side
would capture him.
142
They gave us wireless microphones to wear. Billy made everyone laugh with his sound
check, when he said, “Houston, we have a problem.” Once again my dad reared his ugly head
with the things he had taught my son.
Jerry explained we were to look right at him and not the camera. Much easier that way, he
explained. The studio production assistant asked for quiet as she listened into her headset, then
she started a countdown, “Five, four, three, two…”
Jerry, who had been listening to Ann on a small ear mic, said, “Thanks, Ann. Yes, we are
here with the amazing Billy Blue Sky and his mom, Linda Pearlman. Welcome guys.”
I froze. All those moments of stage fright I suffered during the middle school talent show
came back, and I froze. Fortunately no one noticed, because Billy was stealing the show, as
usual.
“Thanks, Jerry merry boy!” said Billy. The production assistants and camera operators
laughed out loud, along with Jerry.
I was shocked and said, “Billy Pearlman!” which made them laugh again, and made me feel
foolish. I could feel my face turning red.
Billy pointed to me and said, “That’s my mom. Her name is Linda.” For some reason I was
exasperated by Billy taking over the interview, though he was acting according to the normal
Billy MO. I gave him a look.
“No worries, Linda,” said Jerry. “I actually love that name. Can I use it from now on,
Billy?”
143
“Yes, you can.”
“Excellent. Billy, what happened in the hospital with Maggie?”
“Billy prayed for Sky Daddy to fix her.”
“Sky Daddy is God?”
“Yes, he is.”
“So God fixed Maggie by using you. How did he do that?”
Billy paused and frowned, then he smiled and said, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask
him?” Once again there was laughter.
“Will you ask him for me, Billy?”
“I don’t want to know.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t need to know how God does stuff. Billy can’t do magic. God can.”
Jerry turned to me with a smile.
“Linda Pearlman, mother of Billy Blue Sky. Your son has healed a young girl from terminal
cancer, healed a nurse, your father, healed a wheelchair-bound man suffering from ALS, and
then he healed your husband, according to the medical reports. Why do you think this is
happening through Billy? And what do you think is happening?”
144
Fortunately, I had handled these questions before and I knew essentially what they were
looking for. I also knew the truth, or at least the truth as I saw it. What I knew so far about the
media is that in spite of all the talk about entertainment and drama and the rest, essentially they
wanted to report the truth, and let the truth be the story.
“I was there for just about every one of those moments. I saw it with my own eyes.
Something happened. I don’t know what happened, but something happened to all of those
people. The one thing they all had in common was that Billy came to them and touched them.”
“And prayed for them too, Mom,” said Billy, quietly.
“Yes, and he prayed,” I agreed.
Jerry continued. “The doctors have said that the events have been medical in nature. Doctor
Kincaid is on record as having stated that Maggie Brown’s recovery was, ‘a medical miracle.’
Do you think this was a medical event or was it supernatural?”
“Well, clearly there were medical changes, so of course it was a medical event. But I
honestly don’t know what caused it or how it was done.”
He looked at Billy, who was looking at me, expectantly.
“Billy, do you know what caused the healings?”
Billy kept looking at me and I glanced at him. He had a determined look on his face.
“Ask my mom. She knows.”
145
I sighed. “Billy thinks it was God who did these things. He prayed and God answered. That
may be, but I just don’t know. It was miraculous and amazing. I saw it with my own eyes.”
Jerry turned to Billy, smiling. “Who is God?” he asked. Billy looked at Jerry with a
confused look on his face, like he couldn’t believe the question.
“God is everywhere. God is everyone,” he said.
“Is God Jesus?”
“Yes, he is.”
“Muhammad?”
“Yes.”
“Moses?”
“Yes, he is.”
Jerry pointed to himself and asked, “Am I God?”
Billy laughed. “God is inside you.”
“If God is inside me, why can’t I heal people, Billy?”
“Maybe you talk too much.”
I put my hand over my eyes, shaking my head. Billy saw my reaction, but he also heard the
crew laughing. Jerry was also laughing.
146
“I think you’re right, Billy. I do talk too much sometimes. Hey, guess what?”
“That’s what!” said Billy. They high-fived.
“There’s a large crowd of people outside who would like to meet you. We have a stage set
up for you. Would you like to say hi?”
“Do bears shi…” I put my hand over Billy’s mouth and stopped the rest of yet another
wonderful saying my dad had passed on. They crew laughed again, and I’m sure Dad was
cackling back home as he watched. The problem of course was that it was funny for a ten-yearold special needs boy to snap out lines like that.
The interview ended and we left the studio to much fanfare. Tom Brown told us we had
done great and Big Stuff PR’s phones were ringing off the hook. Multiple offers, now
approaching a million dollars. I was in a daze and just wanted to get on the plane and head for
home.
As we were about to head downstairs a producer named Ellen pulled us over to a window.
She pointed down to where a huge crowd had formed on the sidewalk and street below. Several
hundred people were huddled together around a stage.
I looked at Ellen and she smiled and nodded her head. “They’re here for Billy,” she said.
“Really?” Billy asked. He was excited and pushed his face against the glass to get a better
view of “his groupies” as he now called them. Somehow he felt personally responsible for them.
I was worried about my son’s safety and he was worried about the people below. He wanted to
go to them.
147
I watched as he smiled down at them. Such a grown-up smile. Such tenderness and love as I
have never seen on a face, or at least on very few faces. It was angelic and wistful. It was wise
and childlike. He reminded me of the elves in some of the recent movies. Ageless bodies with
ancient hearts. That was how Billy had always been, and as I watched him watch his people, I
knew in that moment that part of his purpose was to give them hope.
He could not heal them all. He couldn’t touch them all. But he could inspire them all. By
now, Ellen was gone and others were running by as they prepared to cover the scene. Billy
turned to me at last and smiled a resigned and impossibly happy smile.
“I have to go down to them, Mom.”
“I know, honey,” I said, a little teary-eyed. He took my hands and looked into my eyes.
“They need me, Mommy.”
The “Mommy” is what did it. I was a goner, a gusher, a fire hydrant for the next few
minutes. When he saw me wiping my eyes he took my hand and led me to the elevator and down
we went.
There were security guards in the lobby looking nervously at the crowd outside. Two of
them got on either side of us, but Billy shook his head, shook the hands of the guards and said,
“Billy won’t need you.”
We came out of the revolving door expecting a lot of noise, but it was strangely quiet,
except for the sound of the traffic and a jet flying over. The crowd was held back by several
148
NYPD officers and a lot of barriers. All eyes were on Billy. Two NBC camera crews were taping
the scene, one handheld right next to us and another on stage.
Tom caught up to us and grabbed my elbow, saying, “The stage is just over here. We need
to get up there right now.” I grabbed Billy, but he pulled away from me and walked over to the
crowd. He walked right up to an old man who looked like he had slept in the street the night
before. Billy hugged him.
A woman rushed at Billy, screaming. She pushed her way through to him and pulled him
into an embrace. She started rocking him and then tried to pull him away with her, speaking what
sounded like a foreign language. An ugly roar issued from the crowd. I rushed forward with the
guards, but it was already over before we got there. A homeless woman wearing reflective
sunglasses grabbed the woman from behind and held her. She turned her head towards me and I
was blinded by the sunlight reflecting off her glasses. She smiled at me and light pulsed from her
body. It was Gabrielle. Our angel had returned.
The woman started weeping. Billy took her hands and talked to her. She nodded her head in
answer to his questions. He bowed his heads and prayed. She cried out, “Help me. Oh God,
please help me to live.” My phone started beeping and turned off by itself. Lights went out in
stores around us. A hum went through the crowd. The Billy effect.
People started kneeling and soon everyone followed, remaining hushed and expectant.
Billy finished with the woman and started walking through the kneeling crowd, touching people.
High-fiving some, hugging others, and just putting a hand on others. He moved across the street
to the edge of the crowd and then came back, like a human lawn mower. Back and forth he went,
149
for twenty minutes. My son touched everyone in that crowd. He touched them physically and I
know they felt him in their hearts. That was just the way it was with Billy.
No one jumped up and said they were healed. Instead, they remained calm, almost peaceful.
Billy walked back over to me and took my hand. He was exhausted and almost asleep on his feet.
He fell against me and I held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep like I had so often until he
had become a big boy.
A murmur went up from the crowd. A buzz. A powerful noise of thanksgiving and praise
and love all mixed together. Then they started chanting, “Bill-EEE!...Bill-EEE!...Bill-EEE!” It
grew to a powerful roar, and people began pumping their fists up into the air in time with the
“EEE!” Even the cops joined in.
Gabrielle stood beside me as we looked down at the boy we loved.
“How much longer will he have this gift, Gabrielle?” I asked her.
“I don’t know.”
I looked at her until she looked me in the eye. “Will Billy be okay?” I asked her.
A look of such incredible kindness swept across her face, but she said nothing. This could
not be good. She was avoiding a question about Billy.
“Why aren’t you answering me?”
Gabrielle put her hands on my face and gently stroked it.
150
“I am not worried about Billy. Billy is protected, but even if something happens to him, he
will be fine. I came for you, Linda. You are my mission and I am your guardian. My Master
loves you more than you will ever know. He sent me to show you the way.”
“The way to what?” I asked.
“The way to my Master.”
“I’m kind of busy right now, Gabrielle. I’ve got my hands full. Tell him maybe later.”
She laughed. “He just heard what you said, Linda. Congratulations, that is the first time you
have talked with him. He accepts your offer and will expect to hear from you later.”
I paused for a moment, reflecting on how ridiculous it was to be having a conversation with
an angel in the middle of huge crowd. Then Gabrielle put her hands on Billy’s face and
whispered, “Wake up, Billy. The Master needs you.” Then she was gone.
Billy woke up and said, “Okay, Gabby.” He squirmed and I put him down. We walked over
to the stage. Billy seemed to be getting his energy back and by the time he stood up on the stage
and was handed a microphone by a stagehand, he was fully energized. A little showman again.
“My name is Billy Blue Sky!” he shouted. The crowd loved him and shouted his name.
They roared their approval of him, the special little boy who had touched them with his hands
and his heart.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the front of the stage with him.
“This is my mom. Everybody say ‘hi, Linda’!” The five hundred or so in the crowd shouted
my name. “I have Down syndrome. But I’m smart.” The crowd agreed with him. “God made me
151
just the way I am. He made you the way you are. We have to be happy the way we are.” A
chorus of “Amen” and “Praise God” filled the air.
“God gave me a gift. He gave you a gift too. Your gift is yours alone. Use it. Help people.
Be nice.”
A ripple of sighs went through the crowd. Then there was quiet. Anticipation.
“Talk to God. Ask him for help. Love him. Love everyone.”
A swelling noise grew as Billy said, “My name is Billy Blue Sky and I love you!” A throaty
roar erupted from the crowd as Billy turned and walked back to me, hugging me tight. They
started chanting his name again. He turned and waved. Then we walked off the stage. Tom led us
to the waiting limo and we headed for the airport. Billy fell asleep on the ride.
Billy slept the entire plane ride to Norfolk, something he normally would not want to miss,
his nose plastered to the window.. I thought it would be great to be home and get back into our
normal lives. Truth is that our lives were not so normal anymore, and probably never would be
again. This was our lives and the show must go on, according to life and the contract.
On the planes, at the airport baggage area, at the Farm Fresh food store, Billy loved it and
gave himself to his fans. But it made him tired, and reminded me that he was just a little boy who
had recently had open-heart surgery. Supernatural powers or not, I needed to look out for him
and he needed to take it easy.
152
153
Chapter 19
Linda
Friday afternoon was a chance for me to go into the office and get caught up with the cases
we had going on. I managed to keep up pretty well on the road with my iPhone and iPad, but still
there was nothing to replace a good face-to-face with my staff. Fortunately, they were all pros
and operated well without me.
Late Friday afternoon I got a call from Detective Fred “BB” Bowling.
“Pearl, baby, how they hanging?” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing, even though I knew
I should be outraged. With BB there was just no being outraged. He was a big bowling ball of a
man who could knock you over with charm while he picked your pocket. And you would thank
him for it. Of course he knew this, and got away with being outrageous.
“BB, you idiot. I don’t have things that hang!” I replied with mock hostility.
“I hope not,” he replied, “‘Cause then we’d have to put you in National Geographic.”
Like I said, he’s an idiot, but a funny idiot. We laughed.
“So what’s up, BB?”
“I got a new case and was wondering if we could borrow the services of your ace detective
boy, Billy Blue Sky.”
154
I paused, thinking back to when Billy had cracked the Wiseman case. Now I wished I’d
never told BB about Billy. “You’re serious, aren’t you, BB?” I asked quietly. He knew me and
my moods. He called me the Ice Queen when I got angry.
“Now don’t get all icy on me, Linda. It was a simple request. We got another missing kid
and I got nothing to go on. I remembered Billy helped us figure out the Wiseman case. So that’s
why I called.”
“BB, he touched Jerry Wiseman and that’s how he knew. He can’t just conjure things out of
thin air. He can only do his magic by touching people. Or in your case the bad guy.”
“I know that,” said BB with certainty. I was being set up by a pro.
“So you have a suspect?”
“Sure do, with an ironclad alibi manufactured by a scumbag parent.”
“How old is the kid?” I asked.
“She’s ten, Pearl. Same age as Billy.”
I groaned. Like I said, he was a pro. I thought about the parents and what they were going
through, and the asshole getting away with it. “BB, if we do this it needs to be legal. You got a
plan?”
“Better than that, Pearl. I got a lineup. Tomorrow morning at ten, at the Second. The little
girl’s friend saw the guy and got away. We’re worried the perp’s gonna go after her next. I’m
thinking that after the lineup we bring Billy in like a star to meet everyone at the precinct,
including the lucky lineup folks. Wadaya say, will you bring Billy?”
155
“See you at ten, BB. And let’s keep this under wraps. Billy attracts quite a crowd wherever
he goes.”
***
Billy was bouncing in the car on the ride to the precinct the next morning, along with his
friend Jerome. Billy insisted Jerome come since the two of them were secret detectives. They
loved BB and especially loved cops in uniform and the badges and other cool stuff they carry on
their belts. When Billy was six he wore a miniature police utility belt with little handcuffs, fake
Mace, a plastic Billy club and gun, and a small flashlight that worked until he tried to use it
underwater.
He would sneak up behind me or my dad and whack us with the little Billy club and yell,
“Billy club, Billy club!” Several times he just about made me pee, and I would grab him in anger
to teach him a lesson, but it only took me a second or two to be caught up in his laughter. He was
a little booger, but he was my little booger.
“Ohhh, look at all the police cars!” said Billy as we turned into the back lot of the Second
Precinct parking lot. “Can we drive in one?” He and Jerome were literally bouncing in their seats
with anticipation.
“Maybe later, Champ. But right now I want you to meet some of the police inside, and some
other people who are there. Sound okay with you?”
156
“You bet your bippy!” said Billy. I laughed.
“Who taught you that?” Though I already knew.
“Gampa did,” said Billy. “He said a bippy is near your belly.”
“Oh he did, did he?” I made a mental note to have another talk with Dad about the things he
was teaching his grandson. Not that all the other talks had ever made a difference.
The cops made a big fuss over Billy with several who we knew coming over. Then they
sent us to one of the small conference rooms, where we found BB with his partner, Detective
Lou Gossman. “Hey, Pearl!” they both said together. Billy saw BB and ran to him for a hug.
“Look who it is,” said BB, “My favorite future detective, Billy Blue Sky and his sidekick
Jerome. You remember Detective Lou, don’t ya Billy?” Billy waved at him and took BB’s
hands.
“Do you really think Billy and Jerome could be detectives?”
“Well I don’t know,” said BB. He brought the two boys together and looked down at them.
“Let me see. Are you smart?”
“Yes, I am!” Billy and Jerome answered together.
“Are you good guys or bad guys?”
“Good guys!”
“Do you like helping people?”
157
“I LOVE helping people!” yelled Billy at the top of his lungs. Everyone in the precinct
believed him.
BB looked down at Billy for a while, finally saying, “Those are very good answers, Billy
Boy. Let me talk to my partner about this.”
He huddled with Lou and they began whispering loudly together so that Billy and Jerome
could hear some of what they were saying. Every now and then they would look over at the boys
and nod their heads. Finally they came to an agreement and solemnly shook hands. Lou left the
room and came back shortly with a few officers who looked resplendent in their uniforms. Billy
could not contain himself.
BB and Lou got in line with the officers. BB waved Billy and Jerome over and made them
stand in front, facing him and the other cops.
“A-TEN-shun!” barked Lou, and he and the two officers came to attention.
“Billy Blue Sky and Jerome,” said BB. “In honor of your outstanding work to rid the world
of bad guys, and in helping people through great acts of love and service, and furthermore for
healing Maggie and so many others, we do hereby and forthwith make you both associate
Miniscule Detectives of the tenth order. Detective Grossman, if you please!”
Lou stepped forward and pinned a small metal badge with the VBPD seal onto Billy and
Jerome’s shirts. The look on Billy’s face was rapturous. His mouth was open in surprise and he
truly could not believe that he could possibly be getting this honor. I’m sure he was already
thinking about all the bad guys he would be nabbing in the days to come. Lou stepped back and
158
they all saluted the boys, who saluted them back. They hugged BB, Lou and the two officers. It
was touching and there I was, crying again.
The officers left and BB said to Billy, “Okay, Deputy, your first job today is to meet some
people. They’re gonna be walking by on the way out. I want you to shake their hands and see if
you feel anything bad about them, okay? We’re looking for a bad guy and we want you to help
us catch him. Can you do that?”
Billy looked like a flycatcher with his mouth hanging completely open. He was dazed. I
nudged him and said, “Billy, did you hear what BB asked you?”
That roused him, a mere woman interfering with a deputy. He gave me an irritated look and
snapped, “Yes, Mom, BB wants me to find the bad guy!”
“That’s right honey, but you can’t say anything if you do. Wait ‘til they’re gone, okay?”
Billy looked a little confused and looked back and forth at BB and me. Then he solemnly
shook his head and said, “Billy won’t squeal.” BB and Lou laughed as they walked out to
conduct the lineup. We were to wait for the word and then come out to the lobby area.
We passed the time doodling, playing tic-tac-toe and talking about being a detective. Jerome
walked around saying “You’re under arrest.” After about thirty minutes, BB popped his head in
and waved us over, “Come on guys, quick, quick, quick.” We followed him out to the lobby.
Billy instantly became the center of attention and drew a crowd. Lou and an officer brought
the five lineup members out into the lobby and they got caught up in the excitement and wanted
159
to meet Billy. Exactly as BB had planned it to go down. BB and Lou corralled the lineup folks
and brought Billy over to meet them. I was close and watched his face.
A lineup is intended to bring several people of similar ethnic, physical, and age
characteristics together for an accuser to identify. Making all the “suspects” look the same is
important from a legal standpoint and protects the rights of the accused and forces the accuser to
be absolutely sure. I had seen many in my time.
All of the men in the line of “suspects” were in their mid-twenties, Caucasian, with dark
hair, and all of them had some kind of facial hair. BB introduced Billy to them with some fanfare
and pointed out his new badge and role. Everyone laughed. Except for the guy in the back of the
line. He looked a little nervous to me. He had a scar on his cheek.
Billy shook hands with all of them. I watched his expression. It was happy with all of them.
The last guy, the one with the scar, tried to walk by Billy with his head down. Billy grabbed him
by the arms and said, “Hi, I’m Billy Blue Sky!” The guy stopped and looked irritated. He looked
down at Billy as Billy held his arm and looked up at him.
A single tear fell down Billy’s cheek and a look of horror came over his face. The lights
dimmed in the lobby and several cell phones started beeping. The cop at the front desk muttered
something about Jesus.
Billy let go of the man, who rubbed his arms and walked out of the door, muttering to
himself. Billy stood perfectly still, looking off in the distance with what soldiers call a thousandyard stare.
160
I guided him over to the conference room. BB and Lou followed and shut the door. I knelt
down and held my son. He was shaking and seemed to be in shock. BB snapped him out of it.
“Great job out there, Detective Billy. They loved you. Well, too bad the bad guy didn’t
show up, ‘cause I sure didn’t see him. But thanks for coming.” He just looked at Billy and
waited.
Billy looked confused at first, then he looked at me. I acted ignorant. Then he realized that
no one but him knew who the bad guy was. So he told us.
“It was the last guy. He’s a very bad man. He hurt a girl who looked like Anika.” He turned
to me with tears in his eyes, “Oh Mommy, it’s not Anika is it?”
“No, baby, she’s fine. Tell BB what you saw.”
“I saw him take her away from her friend. Her friend ran. I saw him tie her up. It was night.
They parked near a tennis court. He walked into the woods. There were forts and tents and stuff.
He took her in a fort and took her clothes off. I saw blood…”
BB and Lou shared a look of comprehension. Lou said, “Sounds like that paint ball fort area
over in Marshview. There’s a tennis court right near one of the entrances to the woods.”
I held Billy and said, “She’s going to be okay, honey.”
He shook his head. “No, Mommy, she’s dead. Her eyes are dead. She is with Sky Daddy
now.”
Unfortunately, Billy was right. They sent a full forensics team with a dog to the site, and
found her body buried in a shallow grave one hundred yards from the forts and paint ball base.
161
They also found plenty of DNA evidence inside one of forts that matched their prime suspect, a
twenty five a year-old college student named Elvis Jenkins who lived across the street from the
victim. The last guy in line.
They nailed the guy and Billy had solved his second case. He had nightmares for a month.
***
I took Billy and Jerome to lunch at McDonald’s and he forgot about what he had seen in his
vision at the precinct for a while. They frolicked in the playground area, then he came back to
the table for ice cream. He loves the soft cones and likes to bite off the bottom and suck it
through. Loudly, which usually bothers me, but in this case I was happy that he was happy and
distracted, hanging out and goofing with his best friend.
“Her name was Velvet.” Billy said, still sucking down the ice cream.
I paused in confusion, and Jerome stopped eating his cone to stare at Billy. “Are you talking
about Anika and Jim’s dog?” I asked. “Did something happen to her?”
Billy slurped out the last bit of ice cream, then bit the bottom of the cone off and looked at
me through it. “I see you, Mommy.” The fact that he was calling me Mommy told me he was
still an emotional train wreck.
“What happened to Velvet, honey?” I asked.
162
“She died.” Now he was crunching his way through the cone. Billy was a noisy eater, but at
least you always knew how much he liked something. If he was quiet while he ate, that usually
was his polite way of telling you the food was lousy.
I pulled out my phone to call Jim, but Billy waved at me to put away my phone. I did, and
then waited for him to finish eating the cone.
“Not the dog, the girl,” he finally said. “The girl who got killed.”
“Her name was Velvet?” I asked.
“Yes, it was,” said Billy. “She was a nice girl. She’s with Sky Daddy now.” He sighed and
then he brightened, as if the truth of what he had just said broke through and overcame the horror
of her death. She was okay now, and so, suddenly, Billy was happy again.
We went to a Pixar movie and he fell asleep, snoring softly on my shoulder while I laughed
and cried my way through the story. I knew he needed to recharge his batteries.
***
Billy
I still have the badge BB gave me that day. I keep it in a drawer now with some of my
special “don’t throw away” stuff. I think Jerome kept his too, ‘cause they were much nicer than
the ones we bought at the store. I don’t wear it or carry it anymore, but back then I carried it all
163
the time. When BB made Jerome and me a detective that may have been the best moment of our
lives. It made me feel like I could work with BB and the other detectives and cops. I remember
thinking that maybe a guy with Down syndrome really could do important stuff.
That was the day I decided I had to go to college, because BB said detectives had to be
smart and had to go to college. That’s what I’m doing now. Mom says I’m high functioning,
which means I’m not totally stupid and not slow like some of my friends. You never know how
Down syndrome is going to affect your brain, but I got lucky.
I got to stay in the regular classes and didn’t have to take the Special Education classes a lot
of my friends take. I wanted to be included in the classes the smart kids took because I thought I
was smart. I may not be as smart as you are, but I’m pretty smart. Some people were mad at my
mom and BB for “exploiting” me when I helped them solve some of those cases. There were
others too, but I’m not supposed to talk about them. I didn’t know what “exploiting” meant, so I
looked it up. I wanted to help and Mom and BB were trying to catch the bad guys. So how can
that be wrong?
The first time we saved the little girl in the box. But the second time we were too late, and
the girl named Velvet died. I wish I had never seen it ‘cause I couldn’t wash it out of my mind. I
asked God to erase those pictures in my head, but they stayed there. I was scared to sleep for a
long time, because I was afraid of the girl named Velvet coming to me in my dream—as a ghost.
She was a good girl, but I did not want to meet her as a ghost.
That man who killed her was just like the man who put his daughter in a box. They felt like
ice and darkness. They were mean and they were evil. Maybe they were like devils, because I
think it must feel that way when God is gone. When God leaves a person completely it is bad,
164
really bad. I think they kicked God out ‘cause there was no light inside them. Only darkness, like
a place where red-eyed rats would live. I don’t like rats, definitely not Darth Vader red-eye rats.
When I held his hand I could feel the girl named Velvet’s life. He took her life away and
turned off her lights. I remember wondering if people like that, bad people, are jealous of the
light we have. That is sad and I feel bad for them. But they should not turn off other people’s
light and take their life.
Gampa said that if a bad man kills someone, the jury and the judge might say that bad man
should die for what he did. That just made me sad too. I don’t know why turning off his life will
pay back the life he took. His life is already dark. I think he’s in Hell already because he kicked
God out.
165
Chapter
Steve
Tom called me when he got back from New York. We chatted about Billy’s appearances
and he caught me up on the tour. He said that the phone lines were burning up and the offers
were coming in like crazy. I had just gotten out of the hospital and was staying in a small onebedroom garage apartment Jim had arranged for me. That act alone would have told me that he
was a good man and—even though I was a little jealous at first—I figured he was good for
Linda. I hoped she was good enough for him.
The apartment was one of several rentals he owned. It was four blocks off the ocean in the
Shadowlawn section of the Beach. They were long blocks and though I could only do a block
this morning, I aimed to make it down to the beach in a few days, a good goal and a payoff of
sorts for staying alive. I figured it would take at least a few months to recuperate. Since Tom had
advanced me some of the money from the Billy Project I figured I could hold out for a while if I
kept my cool and didn’t do anything stupid.
I was still a little stiff but overall felt remarkably good, all things considered. Jim had filled
me in on how bad off I was after the accident, and how lucky I was to be alive and healthy again.
I knew that Billy had saved me and I felt humbled. For the first time in my life I felt like I had
religion. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that I was getting religion. I was a changed
166
man, and was even wondering if being saved by my son meant something more than just in the
flesh.
The phone rang. “Big news, Steve baby,” said Tom after we’d covered the basics. “We’ve
got three big-boy publishers fighting over the book rights. The bidding is at two million right
now.”
“Oh, thank God,” I replied without thinking. There was a long pause on the other end of the
line.
“Am I talking to Steve Pearlman?” asked Tom with a funny tone.
“Yeah, it’s me, Tom. You know it’s me.”
“No, I know a Steve Pearlman who doesn’t go to church, who gambles too much, drinks too
much and chases several skirts at the same time. I don’t know a Steve Pearlman who thanks God.
What happened, did you get religion on me, buddy?”
Then it was my turn to pause. “Maybe,” I finally admitted. “I should have died, Tom. My
son saved me. And now we’ve got enough money coming in to save me.”
“Save you from what, Steve?” asked Tom, a new note of concern in his voice.
“Oh you know, Tom,” I quickly said to cover my mistake. “I’ve got debts, dude. I’ve been
out of work for a while and I’m in a pretty deep financial hole. How soon can I get a hold of a
big chunk to pay off my debts?”
“Probably in another week or so. We already gave you ten grand for the apartment and geton-your-feet expenses. How much do you need?”
167
“A hundred grand,” I replied without missing a beat. I figured why beat around the bush.
That was the figure I owed. Tom didn’t need to know it was for a gambling debt.
Tom whistled. “Whoa, buddy. That is a big chunk of change. No way we can pull that off
until more money comes in, Steve. Besides, how do we know you’re not going to use the money
to gamble? You need to come clean here, Buddy.”
“Tom, I appreciate your concern and all your help. I really do. I am a changed man, my
friend. I’m not going to tell you I’m fixed or whatever, but I am going to tell you that you have
to trust me, and I need the money that is owed me according to the contract. Just as soon as you
can pull it off. Cool?”
After another pause, Tom said, “Yeah, you do sound changed, Steve. No doubt. I’ll see what
we can do, but I’m thinking it will probably be another fifty k within a week, but the big money
won’t roll for another few months. Speaking of casinos, there is a new interesting development.”
“Do tell,” I replied, all ears.
“Well, you’ve heard of that mega-church, Vineyard Living Waters?”
“Yeah, sure. Up near Atlantic City or something? The head guy is on TV a lot. Isn’t he like
a big-time holy roller?”
“He sure is,” replied Tom. “His name is Reverend Timothy Rollins. Published four books.
Has two radio shows and three TV shows, including the live broadcast of their Sunday services.
He has a PR machine the size and quality of large corporations. They have a membership of
twenty five thousand with three campuses. Their net worth for the entire church and all the
168
ministries is north of ninety
million. This guy is political, too, and has huge pull
with
politicians. ”
“Sounds like you have a crush on the guy, Tom. What’s the big deal?”
“They want Billy to come and do a few healing services and come on their radio talk show.
By the way, they not only are near Atlantic City, they are IN Atlantic City, on the Boardwalk.
The church is a converted casino right on the strip.”
I started shaking my head no. “Tom, that’s really nice and all, but we can’t just offer Billy
up for any old offer that comes along, especially one that puts him on the gambling strip in Sin
City.”
“I can assure you we’re not giving in for nothing, Steve. Our minimum price is fifty grand.
They’re offering double that, because they want an exclusive church reach for six months. Plus
they want to include his interviews in a book and other stuff. We’re working on that.”
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. “Are you kidding me? A church is offering to pay
us a hundred grand for Billy to make an appearance?”
“It will be a two-day deal, but yeah, that’s right. The only problem is I’m not sure you
should handle this one, Steve.”
“Why not?” I asked, slightly miffed.
“Come on, Steve, do you really think you can fight the song of the cards?”
“Yeah, I think I can, Tom. I’m going to Gambler’s Anonymous now.”
169
“I think I almost believe you, Buddy. Oh yeah, we contacted some of our casino clients and
there is a bidding war going on to get Billy to make an appearance there.”
“No way!” I shouted. “Linda will have a cow, Tom. Besides, we can’t take a kid into a
casino.”
“Actually we can, Steve, according to our attorneys. Most of the bigger casinos like the
Pelican have Broadway-style shows, singers, comedians. Big venues, a thousand seats or more,
completely separate from the gambling section. So I’m not worried about Billy being exposed to
the gambling. I’m worried about you, Steve. Which is why Linda’s going to take him.”
170
Chapter ____add
Linda
Steve came over with Tom Brown to talk about the trip up to Atlantic City. The amazing
thing was Steve was against the trip and didn’t want Billy to be exposed to the “hedonistic
environment.” How ironic, coming from him. I watched him for a while to see if he was evading
or had other motives, but he seemed to be truthful and was concerned for Billy.. He was a
changed man.
Tom wasn’t presenting Atlantic City as an option. It was part of the deal, the Billy Tour.
“Look, guys,” Tom said. “The contract just goes through the summer. Once Billy’s back in
school we’re done with this stuff. There may be the occasional trip we’ll need you to make, but
only on weekends and during school breaks. Compared to this tour, it will be very quiet.”
Steve shook his head and voiced his concern again. “I know, Tom. I hear you. But why does
it have to be Atlantic City?”
“Two things,” replied Tom. “First, this is a mega church and they have the money to pay us.
Much better to do one big church then a bunch of small churches, don’t you think?”
Steve and I looked at each, nodded, and simultaneously said, “Yes.”
171
Steve also had an issue with Billy’s appearance at the casino, but I sided with Tom on that,
since it was just an appearance and was completely separate from the gambling floor and instead,
was part of the hotel. They were inviting local kids groups and schools to come, going out of
their way to make it kid friendly and not a healing event.. The church would handle that.
Tom insisted I know everything about Steve’s gambling problem and the money he owed.
After all Steve had gone through, and in spite of our past problems, I couldn’t help but pity him.
He was deeply embarrassed about his predicament, but he promised to stay well clear of the
casino floor and would be in the background at the church.
“I’d like to make the trip with you and Billy, Linda, if that’s alright with you,” he asked me.
I had to pause on that. I knew Tom would love the three of us being together, and Billy would be
over the moon about it. Steve’s new humility sealed it for me.
“That’s fine, Steve,” I said. “Billy will love that. Jim and Anika will be there too. But no
funny stuff. I don’t need to be surprised like the Norfolk event.”
“No funny stuff,” he agreed. He put up a pinky, something Billy had taught him. We shook
pinkies and Steve laughed and clapped. He could see the dollar signs in our agreement, and
nothing would make him happier, or richer, than if our family got back together.
***
172
We arrived at the Brown Pelican Hotel & Casino, in Atlantic City the following Friday,
travelling by a limo provided by BigBiz. Tom came through again and had Billy and I in one of
the best suites at the hotel: third floor, two bedrooms. Jim and Anika had their own suite, also
provided in the deal. The main living area was lavishly furnished with a kitchen, huge flat screen
TVs, expansive ocean views, and a wrap-around balcony. The whole thing was lavish, probably
intended for high-roller gamblers..
Billy ran around exploring, playing with the TV remote, the drapes and checking out his
new digs. He called it “Rock Star Hotel” and said we were travelling rock stars. Then he went
out on the balcony and yelled down and waved at passing tourists and hotel guests. Many must
have recognized him because in no time Billy had a crowd below him and was giving a Billy
sermon, making them laugh and applaud. He even got them to do the wave.
Tom and Steve came in and we watched Billy carry on, king of the hotel. “Reminds me of
Norfolk,” Tom said, as Billy flapped his arms at a flock of seagulls looking for treats.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Billy didn’t need any training or help with how to treat a crowd. He just naturally assumes
they love him and they can feel his love for them. He’s a natural and the crowd recognized that.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I agreed, thinking about New York. The idea of engaging the crowd
outside the Today Show was beyond me, but Billy handled it like a pro, like he was born for it.
“He was made for this,” said Steve, as if in agreement with my thoughts.
173
The casino appearance was that evening, and we talked about how that would go and our
respective roles. Then Steve and Tom left, giving Billy and me a chance to relax for a few hours.
174
Chapter add____
Steve
I was bunking with Tom, ostensibly so he could keep an eye on me. It was a nice twobedroom suite, plenty of room. Similar to the room I’d stayed in more than once back in the day
when I fancied myself a high-roller. As soon as we got back from Linda’s room, I had other
plans.
“I got to get some air, Tom. I feel claustrophobic in here.”
“Promise me you won’t gamble, Steve,” he said with force.
I walked up to him and shook his hand. “I promise, Tom. Look, I don’t want to gamble
anymore. I don’t feel the desire. Remember, I told you I’m a changed man.”
He looked me in the eye, then nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I have to trust you to do the right
thing. Besides, maybe this is the best way to prove you are over your addiction. Just be careful,
and be back here in two hours.”
I got out. I was telling Tom the truth about not wanting to gamble. Besides, how could I
gamble when I owed so much money? I didn’t tell Tom about that, figuring that was my
business. I also didn’t tell him I was meeting with loan sharks to clear part of my debt.
175
I walked through the games area and felt the old thrill of the slot machines. I never did much
with the slots, but I always liked the sound they made—the sound of money. I always thought
the people who played the slots were blue-collar suckers. They call these things “one-armed
bandits’’ for a reason. What was there to think about? You pulled an arm or punched a button,
you watched the wheels spin, you stuck another coin in and do it all over again.
But blackjack, now that was a thinking man’s game. That and poker. Those were games
that required intelligence. I guess stupidity doesn’t care if our collars are blue or white.
Even the smells brought back memories; the smell of beer and wine, and rum and cokes, the
national drink for gamblers; the smell of sweat, fear, and excitement; the smell of heavy perfume
and cheap cologne. All mixing together in a powerful blend of humanity.
The noise of the slots was matched only by the roulette table—something I had never been
interested in. It got quieter as I walked through the blackjack and poker tables. This was my
arena, my crib, my favorite place, but I kept walking without the slightest tug to play. I caught
the eye of a few of the dealers and table bosses who nodded and smiled at me.
One of the bosses approached me and said, “Vincent was delayed. He said to meet him at
the AC.” So I had walked through the casino for nothing. But as I walked out, I realized that I
had proved I didn’t need it anymore. I was starting to believe the stuff I had told Tom. Maybe I
was redeemable.
Vincent was waiting for me at the back of the pawn shop. He put his arms out in a false
bonhomie, but I didn’t walk into the hug.
176
“Stevie!” he cried. “It’s good to see you.” He grabbed my cheeks and pecked me on both
sides like the good Italian he wasn’t. Then he frisked me, expertly and very quickly. He found
the bag of money and looked inside. He thumbed through the money, then put it and the bag
back in my pocked. “Follow me, Stevie.”
He led me around the glass displays, the customers and shop employees. We went through a
door into the personal domain of Mr. Ricky Vaspasian . He was sitting at an old oak desk
squeezed into a corner and greeted me by name. He motioned to a couple older
leather side
chairs and then offered me a cigar. Not just any cigar but a Cuban, if my nose was still a good
judge. I put it in my pocket to enjoy later.
“Vincent says things are going well with you, Steve. I’m glad to hear this.”
“Thanks, Mr. Vaspasian,” I replied. My mouth was suddenly dry and I was afraid for my
life. I was more afraid of this kind and seemingly gentle man than of Vincent, the epitome of
evil.
“I understand,” he continued, “that your son has become quite the celebrity and a new
source of income for you. We hear he’s a very big source of income. I’m guessing that’s why
you’re here now?” I wondered how he could know so much about my arrangements, figuring he
knows higher-ups at the Brown Pelican.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, pulling out the money. “I’ve got fifty large with me. Half of what I
owe. I can get the rest within the next six months. Billy is a sure thing, but it just takes time.”
Vincent took the money from me, counted it, and handed it to Mr. Vaspasian, who put it on the
table.
177
He raised an eyebrow and put out his hands in a question to Vincent. “Vincent, how much
time did you give Steve to take care of this matter?” To him my life or death was simply “this
matter.”
“I gave him two months, Boss.”
Vaspasian gave him a perplexed look. “But Vincent, he’s saying he needs six months. I was
never good at math, maybe, but that doesn’t add up to me. Does it add up to you?”
“No, sir,” said Vincent. “I'm afraid it don’t add up. Not even on a calculator.” They both
turned to stare at me and I felt suddenly naked and small, like a mouse feels just before it gets
eaten by a cat.
I didn’t have a plan B, so I remained quiet and waited them out, hoping another solution
would be found, one that would not entail a return trip to the hospital, or worse yet, the morgue. .
“Tell me about Billy Blue Sky,” Vaspasian said out of the clear blue. The sudden shift threw
me, but I figured maybe there is hope there. So I tell him everything I know about Billy’s gift,
the campaign, the book deal, everything. .
“How do you know that this supposed gift the kid has is real?” Vaspasian asked me after I
had finished telling him about the publicity and speaking tour.
“I should be dead,” I replied. “My ex is dating a doctor who treated me. The accident
completely trashed me. My organs were starting to fail, my blood pressure was nil. I was a dead
man. Then my son put his hands on me. I saw him in a dream, then I woke up and felt better. It
was a miracle.”
178
Vaspasian crossed himself like a good Catholic, and wiped away a tear. He drew on his
stogie and ruminated for a while on what I had said. “Steve, I will make you a deal. I will clear
the rest of your debt, but in return I need a favor. I need you to bring Billy so he can heal my son.
His name is Anthony.”
“What’s wrong with your son?” I blurted without thinking.
“He is paranoid schizophrenic, delusional and has seizures. We have to keep him sedated, in
the care of medical personnel around the clock at a clinic twenty miles from here. We’ve tried
everything. Nothing works. I’ve often thought he would be better off dead, but I keep thinking
there is hope for him. His mother, Marie, is sick over this. She cries after every visit and prays at
Saint Nicolas every Sunday at mass. Maybe this thing with your boy is the miracle Marie has
been asking for. Maybe this is God’s hand at work.” More like a mobster’s hand at work, I
thought to myself.
“Can you bring him here tonight, or to the church tomorrow?” I asked.
“No,” he replied softly, wiping his eyes. “He can’t be moved. We’ve tried it and he has to be
sedated. I don’t want him seen by the public and I don’t want to put anyone in danger from my
son. So that means we need Billy to come to him. All I need is an hour. One hour of your time to
free you from debt and save my son. One hour, Steve. Do we have a deal?” He stood and so did
I. I realized the irony of this powerful man overcome with emotion for his son, and had
immediate empathy for him. But he was talking about my son, and I didn’t want Billy anywhere
close to these bozos, in any way tainted by their bad blood and their evil empire.
179
“Mr. Vaspasian. I truly feel bad for your son, but for now it is a no. I will get you the money
in time. I appreciate the offer you have made me. If I change my mind I will let you know.”
He escorted me to the door then grabbed my shoulders from behind and whispered, “You’ll
be hearing from me, Steve. You will definitely be hearing from me. Be very careful in this town.
I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
180
Chapter ____
Billy
I told Mom I wanted to see where they played poker at the casino, cause sometimes Gampa
watches poker on TV—Texas Hold ‘em, where they do the river and the flop and stuff, and make
big piles of chips. Chips are like money, but you can’t pay for stuff with them. You have to cash
them in. Gampa and I play cards sometimes and we use chips too. Sometimes we use potato
chips, which is hard, ‘cause if I eat any I have less chips to bet Gampa with.
Mom said “No way, Jose” on going to the casino, but it was worth asking. Gamma says,
“You never know if you never ask,” so I like to ask for stuff even if I know the answer will be
no. Mom calls me Billy Ten Questions, which sounds like an Indian name, so I let her use it.
I got to meet a bunch of kids that night at the hotel. Grown-ups too. The kids really liked
Velvet, and she got extra treats which is probably why she’s a little chubby. Anika says that’s
just her baby fat, but Gampa calls her Velveeta, which I think is funny ‘cause she kinda looks
like Velveeta cheese.
We went swimming that night in the pool. It was on top of the hotel! I called Gampa and
told him and he said I was making it all up and I had to prove it, so I had texted him pictures on
Mom’s phone. Anika and I played a detective game and guessed what people did in real life and
181
if any of them were bad guys. Then we would introduce ourselves and Anika would ask them
what they did. Sometimes we got it right.
There was one guy sitting by himself. He had on sunglasses with mirrors on them, and he
had big muscles and dark hair and I did not like him one bit. I told Anika I didn’t want to play
the game with him.
“Oh come on, Billy,” she said. “Let’s play the game with him. Your mom and my dad are
right over there. It’s broad daylight, what could happen? Besides, I have a feeling about this guy,
like he’s hiding something.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “And I don’t want to know what he’s hiding.” But Anika didn’t give up.
Gampa said Anika was “a real firecracker.” Mom said she was persuasive and Jim said she was
his “little lawyer.” So eventually she talked me into playing the game with the guy.
“Okay,” she started. “I think he’s a spy. I think he works for another country. Mmm, I think
he works for Columbia, and he’s a drug smuggler, too.” I looked at her like she was crazy, but if
what she said was true, no way did I want to meet that guy. All I knew was that something was
up with him. I got a tingle without even touching him.
“I think he hurts people,” I said, looking at the man. He was staring at girls in bikinis, like
all the guys were. “I think he works somewhere close by.”
“So why’s he staying at the hotel?” she asked.
“Maybe he works here,” I replied. But it was just a guess. We tried out different ideas, and
then Anika said, “Let’s go meet him. Come on, Billy.” She took me by the hand ‘cause she knew
182
I didn’t want to go, and before you knew it, we were in front of the guy. I didn’t want to look at
him.
The man looked up as Anika said, “Hi, I’m Anika and this is Billy Blue Sky.” The man
quickly stood and shook hands with Anika. I looked at him. He didn’t look so scary up close, and
he was smiling. He had nice teeth.
“My name is Ronaldo,” he said, with an accent. “Very nice to meet you, Anika.” He kept
holding her hand until it was what Mom would call awkward. Anika pulled her hand away, and
then Ronaldo looked at me. His eyes were like the eyes of the man who put his daughter in the
box. They were snake eyes. Gampa taught me snake eyes are when you roll two ones with dice,
but I wasn’t afraid of dice.
He put out his hand to shake with me and said, “Hello, Billy Blue Sky. I’ve heard about
you.” I looked away and did not want to touch him. Anika whispered, “Shake his hand, Billy. It’s
polite.”
So I did and wished I hadn’t.
I could feel the blackness coming and lightning crackled inside my head. I didn’t want to
see anymore so I pulled my hand back as quick as I could and walked away over to where my
mom and Jim were talking. I sat in a chair and watched Anika as she finished talking with the
dark man. She came back and sat next to me.
“We were both right,” she whispered. “He’s from Uruguay. That’s in South America.”
“I know where Uruguay is,” I shot back. “I got an A in geography, Anika!”
183
She put her arm around me. It felt good. “I’m sorry, Billy. I didn’t mean to put you down.
Okay, so he does work for the casino, so you were right about that. He said his job is security. He
wouldn’t tell me much about it. He seems pretty nice, but I would not want to get on his bad
side. So what did you feel when you shook his hand?”
“He’s a black cloud man,” I said. “I didn’t want to see what he’s done, but it’s bad.” This
seemed to excite Anika, who kept talking about bad guys and being a detective and maybe we
could catch him doing something bad. I had to stop her. I walked into the pool, away from the
grown-ups, and she followed me in.
“Listen, Anika. He is a bad man and we need to stay away from him or we could get hurt.”
That made her get serious and pay attention to me.
“For real?” she asked.
“For real,” I answered. That was the first time our detective game had ever actually found a
bad guy. I told Anika I didn’t want to play the game anymore, so we played volleyball and had a
diving contest. Jim joined us and Mom was the judge. Jim won with a huge bellyflop that
drenched a bunch of people sitting in chairs. They yelled at Jim, but he just laughed and said he
was sorry. They moved their chairs back.
184
Linda
Being together with Billy, Jim, and Anika was the closest I had ever been to a real family.
My mom and dad were family, of course, but this was different, and I couldn’t help feeling so
thankful for this time we had together. I watched Jim do another huge water geyser dive, with
Billy trying to follow him with one of his own, executing a perfect belly flop that made everyone
around the pool cringe from the sound of the smack his stomach made.
Billy came up dog paddling, which I knew meant he was hurt, but he made it over to the
ladder and Jim helped him out and wrapped him in a towel. He was shivering when he came over
to me, and I figured he’d need some love. But he whipped his towel open and proudly exclaimed,
“Check that out, Linda!” I let him get away with calling me Linda every now and then, and this
was a good time for it.
Anika robbed Jim of some money, and took Bill over for an ice cream at the snack bar. They
were truly like brother and sister, and I could not get enough of seeing them together. Billy loved
her and I knew trusted her. Otherwise no way would he and Jerome have let her into their
detective club. She was a big hit with the boys. And she loved Billy with simple devotion. Jim
and I had commented many times how lucky we were that our kids got along, as that is
something that can never be guaranteed.
“They’re pretty cute together, aren’t they?” asked Jim, reading my mind. “Too bad they
can’t be together all the time.” He said it completely innocently, but I knew from experience that
there was always some kind of purpose in everything he said.
185
“Would you care to explain yourself, doctor? I asked.
“No, not really,” he replied. “Just pointing out the truth. They really are good together and it
would be neat to be together all the time, that’s all.” He looked at me, a twinkle in his eyes. My
heart rate increased and I gasped. He laughed.
“Come on, Linda,” he said. “You have to admit they really are like brother and sister. Look
at them.” I did, then sat on Jim’s lap and pushed him back in his chair.
“Listen, Mister! We both know the only way that’s going to happen is if we make it happen.
And the only way that’s going to happen is if you take the first step.”
“Why does the guy always have to be the one?” he asked with false anger.
“Cut the crap, doctor. Did you have something you’d like to ask me? Because the answer
will be yes if you do.” He took my hands and looked into my eyes in that way he does that makes
me weak. He stroked my face and just smiled at me. I waited for his words to come.
“I knew you were the one when I met you in the hospital,” he began. “I don’t know how or
why, but I knew that you were a gift from God. I was so surprised that you felt the same way.”
By now I was crying. He pulled me to my feet, and knelt in front of me, again taking my hands
in his. “Linda Marie Pearlman, I want to spend the rest of my life with you as my wife. Will you
marry me?” I threw myself into his arms, saying, “Yes, oh yes, Jim, I will marry you.”
Several people around us applauded. They had been tuned into us after Jim kneeled and took
my hand. We waved at them as Billy and Anika came over. We gave them the good news and
they jumped up in down with excitement. For the first time ever, my life felt complete.
186
187
Chapter _____
Billy
I was so happy when Mom and Jim told us they were getting married. That meant I got to be
Anika’s brother and Velvet got to live with us! Super cool. Mom cried a lot that night. She called
Gampa and Gamma and put it on speaker so we all could hear. Jim asked Gampa for Mom’s
hand, but it seemed like he wanted all of her to me. Anika explained it to me later. Gampa said
yes and Gamma squealed like a little girl. She never does that. Gamma said a prayer of thanks to
God and we were all real thankful.
I felt bad for my Daddy ‘cause I wanted him and Mom to get back together. But maybe Jim
is who God has for my mom and my dad was just a short-timer. Gamma said he’s part of the
plan, and she meant the plans made in Heaven. Dad seemed happy when he heard later that
night, but I could see his heart hurt a little. But he was a good sport about it, which means even
though he didn’t feel good, he acted like he did. That is a hard grown-up thing to do, and I could
not help cry a little for my dad.
The next day we were going to the big church, but that wasn’t until at night. So after
breakfast Anika and I went on Boardwalk patrol, as she called it. She said we were gonna have
fun and look out for crimes and bad guys. I told her I didn’t want to meet any more bad guys and
did not want to shake hands with anyone who looked like a bad guy.
188
Mom gave me twenty bucks to spend. I felt rich. She told me that it was from the money I
had made on the tour. She said it was a lot of money and she had put it in the bank, but she was
going to give me twenty a week to spend if I wanted to. No way, Jose, I said. Yes way, she said.
I could buy a new model with that much money, a lot of candy. Two DVDs. If I waited five
weeks I would have a hundred bucks. It took me a year to save that much before. But not
anymore.
I held up my twenty dollar bill and waved it at Anika. “Put that away!” she told me. “Don’t
flash your money around, Billy.”
“Why not?” I asked. “I like money!” I had never had much money, so I didn’t know the
rules. Anika took my twenty and put it in my pocket.
“Because if you show off your money,” she said, “bad guys might see it and want to take it
from you.”
I looked around at all the people walking on the Boardwalk. Some of them were looking at
me, but I figured that was because they knew I was Billy Blue Sky. But what if they were bad
guys? I promised Anika I would never show off my money again.
We walked along the Boardwalk and looked at all the casino hotels. There was music and
people dancing and acting crazy. Anika said some of them were drunk. Gampa told me people
waited until after five to drink, but not those people. We saw the Hilton, the Tropicana, and the
Trump Plaza. Anika told me about Mr. Trump and showed me a big picture of him on the wall
with lights flashing around it. I wanted to know if he was wearing a wig ‘cause his hair stood up
189
so high. She laughed. We walked all the way down to the Taj Mahal. Mr. Trump’s name was on
it too. He must be rich. I bet he has lots of twenty dollar bills.
Anika called her dad and said, “We’re ready,” and hung up. That’s it. Usually she talks a
long time on the phone, but she only said two words to her dad. I asked her what were we ready
for and she said it was a surprise. I asked was it something cool and she said it was waiting for us
out at the street. I love surprises.
We walked out to the street and a big black limo pulled up. It was huge! Once I told Gampa
I wanted to be a limo driver and meet VIPs. He told me I was a VIP so maybe I could just drive
myself around in my limo. I liked that idea so when I grow up I will have a limo and take all my
friends wherever they want to go.
The driver got out and I asked him if he was the surprise. He smiled and I hugged him
‘cause I knew he was the surprise. He opened the door and Mom and Jim were inside and they
said SURPRISE really loud and Anika and I piled into the car. I got to bounce around on the
seats and watch TV and drink sodas. I kept asking where we were going, but Mom wouldn’t tell
me. She just handed me my bathing suit and a towel and said, “You’ll need these, sport.”
We went to the Water Park! It was awesome.
190
Linda
We went to church that night for the big prayer meeting and it seemed almost normal to me.
I was actually beginning to get used to Billy as the star, Billy as the healer. The church was huge
by any standards. They told me it could hold five thousand people, and it looked bigger than that
to me. A modern open style with high ceilings and just enough stained glass to create an unusual
glow. The band played upbeat praise music and we clapped along. Billy loved it and ran up to
the stage and got everyone to wave their hands and do the wave. Cameras were everywhere, two
of them just on Billy. He ate it up.
After the worship songs we had a break. They took us out to the atrium where we met a lot
of VIPs. Then I met the three guys and everything changed. They were fairly well dressed and
seemed decent enough. They wore ties. The short one seemed nervous but the other two were
confident and sure. They seemed like nice guys.
They pigeonholed me as we were heading back to the church. My parents and Steve were
being interviewed with Billy, so I chatted with the men and listened to their tale. At first I felt
like I was being set up or these guys were trying to sell me something. They were very sincere,
but also intense.
Jimmy Ray was the leader, the charismatic one. I liked him instinctively. He was honest and
down to earth, Southern to the core. He was charming, athletic and I could feel his will wash
over me. Doc was quieter, more intellectual. He seemed more interested in how I responded then
191
what he said. Bobby was short and kind of sweet in a simple way. Down to earth and spiritual,
yet I sensed a kind of strange tension in him.
“So what brings you guys down to Atlantic City?” I asked after introductions were made.
They shared a look and all of them pulled out a photo of a child. Jimmy Ray handed me his
and said, “That’s my Becky. She’s got stage four Leukemia.” Oh no, I thought, how awful.
Bobby handed me his photo, saying, “That’s Daniel, my son. He’s dying. We brought him
home for hospice about two weeks ago, figuring he’s got maybe two more left.”
Doc gave me his photo, revealing a beautiful little girl of about twelve. Blond hair, bright
blue eyes so much like Doc’s. Doc motioned to the photo. “That’s my girl, Marybeth. She is the
light of my life. She’s dying. We brought her home for hospice just like Danny, Bobby’s boy.
We’ve given up hope.”
I slowly looked through the photos again, one after the other. Beautiful kids. Dying kids. I
knew why these three men had come. If I was in their shoes I might have done the same. I
wondered if there were other parents and brothers and loved one on the way to see the boy who
could heal people. But they were pinning their hopes on a little boy who happened to be my son.
I was getting upset.. I liked these men, and oh did I feel for their kids. But they were grasping at
straws.
I handed the photos back. “I am so sorry about your kids.”
192
“Our kids are dying and there is no cure for them,” said Jimmy Ray. “There is no hope of
them being saved. We done prayed for a miracle, but seems that God is plumb out of miracles
these days.”
“Why did you come here?” I asked again.
Doc put his hand on Jimmy Ray’s arm. “Billy’s our last and only hope, Misses Pearlman.
We are all out of hope. We want our kids to live and your son is the only person on the planet
who stands a chance of saving them. The doctors are done trying. Billy is our last hope.”
“Did you bring your kids with you?” I asked, hoping that perhaps we could do a good thing
and get this over with quickly.
“No mam,” said Bobby softly, looking down. “They are at a hospice center about forty
miles away in a town called Vineland. Becky could maybe make the trip, but mine and Doc’s are
too sick.” He looked up, into my eyes. “The trip would kill them.”
“Well guys, I hate to break this to you but Billy has to touch the people he wants to heal. So
if your kids are in Vineland and Billy is here, we have a geography problem.”
“Do you believe in God?” asked Bobby in his quietly intense way. I just stared at him for a
beat, wondering how he could jump from geography to God.
“What I believe in has nothing to do with this, with any of this,” I replied. I was starting to
get irritated and reminded myself to stay calm with these men. These hurting men.
“It has everything to do with it, Misses Pearlman,” said Bobby. He took a step closer to me.
“God is working through your son, just as sure as I’m standing here. Billy has healed a bunch of
193
people already. We think—Doc and Jimmy Ray and me think—that God may have provided
Billy as the tool for healing our kids.”
“My son is not a tool! He is a ten-year-old little boy who just had open-heart surgery.”
“My daughter is twelve,” said Bobby with restrained passion. “I have done everything I
possibly can to save her life. Nothing has worked. Your son may work. I am asking— we are
asking—no, begging for you to please bring your son to Vineland and save our kids. We’re
talking about one hour to save three lives.”
As he was saying the words, Bobby had started crying, so that by the end he was sobbing. It
was touching and made me want to help them. And maybe I would have if Billy had not run up
at that exact moment and hugged me. I introduced him to the three men and watched them
watching Billy.
The only word to describe the way they looked at him would be ‘hunger.’ Not lust, but a
deep hunger for him. They knew he could save their kids and they wanted him. They wanted
him. I knew then that I couldn’t do it. If I went along with them and Billy saved their kids it
would open a floodgate of requests and our life would be over. I knew I was being selfish but in
that moment I selfishly decided in favor or my son and my family.
I grabbed Billy and pulled him against me. “The answer is no, guys. This church and our
agent has us booked solid the rest of the weekend. I’m really sorry.”
Bobby was sobbing at that point. Billy wanted to go to him but I held him back.
194
“Can’t we at least talk to Billy?” asked Jimmy Ray. By now he and Doc were on either side
of Bobby, literally and emotionally holding him up. I was touched by their friendship, but
resolute in my decision.
“No you can’t. I’m sorry. I really hope your kids make it.” I turned away and took Billy
with me. Jim and Anika arrived and he saw the look on my face. We walked back into the church
so I could settle down and explain to Jim what had happened while Billy and Anika played
together.
I felt awful, like I had done a bad thing. Jim consoled me while I cried for the dying kids.
***
Steve and Jim convinced me that I had done the right thing. Billy was not a bottle of pills to
be passed around so people could be cured. They helped me to see things logically and
systematically built the argument for me. But I still felt awful. The look in their eyes and the
hope they had when they saw Billy was wrenching. I felt wrung out and used.
By the time we finished the interviews, endless healing ceremonies, prayer circles galore
and more, the church was nearly empty except for the TV and production crews packing up their
gear, a few people cleaning up and putting away chairs and tables. Steve agreed to follow us to a
local restaurant for dinner and we walked out to the rear parking lot. There was a large white
195
pickup truck parked next to mine. I noticed there were no tags on the back, and that it was a work
truck of some kind, with equipment and gear stowed neatly in the back.
The doors opened as we approached and out came the guys from Vineland. They had smiles
on their faces, but I was wary, worried that they were going to try and talk me into taking Billy to
try and save their kids.
I introduced Jim and Anika to the guys and said, “Have a nice trip back home, boys.”
Things moved really fast at that point. Sometimes you hear that moments of drama go in
slow motion, but it has never seemed that way to me. For me it always moves really fast.
Bobby pulled out a gun and said, “We’re taking Billy with us.” Jimmy Ray grabbed Billy
and pulled him away from me and started walking him towards the truck. Billy tried to turn away
but Jimmy Ray was strong. He got behind Billy so he couldn’t see what was going on, lifted him
off his feet and carried him toward their truck.
Doc stood next to Bobby and held me firmly when I tried to go after Billy, who was yelling
my name. Anika was screaming Billy’s name. Jimmy Ray put Billy in their truck and shut the
door, heading back our way.
Jim stepped in to get me away from Doc. I was fighting like a wildcat by that time,
screaming and spitting and clawing, but Doc was very strong and outweighed me by almost one
hundred pounds. Jim tipped the scale back in my favor and I was able to rake my nails across
Doc’s face. He cried out, and I saw I had left three red marks across his cheek, blood already
welling.
196
Bobby pushed the gun against Doc and said, “Back off or I’ll blow you away.” Jim was
angry and his anger almost got him killed. He grabbed the gun and tried to force it away from
Bobby. The gun went off and Jim went down. My ears were ringing. Anika screamed and ran to
her dad. I knelt down and checked Jim’s wound; it was high up on his chest, near the shoulder. It
was bleeding freely, but not spurting, so it appeared to have not hit an artery. Jim was moaning
and writhing on the ground, beginning to go into shock.
I went ballistic at that point. I screamed and lunged at Bobby, but Doc grabbed me from
behind. He put a cloth over my face with some kind of nasty liquid on it. It smelled awful. I tried
to hold my breath. I tried to scream but had to breathe in more of that awful smell. I tried to fight
back but I was going to sleep, right there in the parking lot. I was so tired. The light was fading
and nighttime was coming. I remember thinking that I had been shot and was dying.
Steve
To say I was conflicted in Atlantic City is putting it lightly. And I don’t just mean about the
gambling. That was a powerful draw, but different now. I still liked the flavor but could live
without the candy. I had already walked through the casino twice and made it out of there in one
piece without gambling. Maybe the accident and getting healed by Billy had changed me,
hopefully for the better. Definitely for the better.
Watching Billy work the crowd at the church and healing people left and right was amazing.
I was really paying attention to it this time, and it felt different than in Norfolk. Maybe I was
different.
197
Part of me wondered if there was some kind of magician behind the curtain, that what I was
seeing could not be possible. I kept wondering if the church had planted people with fake
illnesses who would suddenly be cured, like on old-time religious TV shows. But I knew it was
real because it had happened to me. I got interviewed and broke down on TV. What a complete
pussy I had become!
I was feeling things I had never felt before. All that Bible crap about a new life was in fact
feeling pretty new and true for me. Thing is, I did not feel like I deserved a new life. And I felt
guilty that I’d gotten Billy into this mess. Don’t get me wrong, he was clearly doing God’s work,
and that’s what he kept telling me.
“I have to do this, Daddy,” he said during a break. “I was made for this and God needs me
to do it.”
All these years I had tried to teach my son worthless things of little importance and now he
was teaching me stuff that was priceless, life giving.. He was like a little holy man who
descended from a mountain. I didn’t think about him as being a silly little retarded kid anymore,
but as a kid who was connected to a force I had begun to feel. Now at least I was beginning to
understand what everyone was so excited about. I could sense something, the first surge inside of
me that seemed to come from somewhere outside of me. Magic.
Linda noticed the change in me right after the accident. Our relationship changed almost
instantly, both of us focused on Billy, our son. That’s all there was and now we agreed on the
importance of the best thing we had every done together.
198
We agreed to take Billy to dinner. I put the top down and squealed wheels out of the lot. As
I was turning into the back lot, a white pickup came hauling around the corner and nearly
sideswiped me. Two guys were in front and Billy was between them. He was crying. I didn’t
think, I just turned, just like the movie stuntmen do, and took off after the truck.
***
Billy
The only thing I could hear was the tires screeching as Jimmy Ray floored it onto the road.
Daddy liked to floor it too, but this wasn’t Daddy. I was kidnapped! I cried at first, but then I
stopped when I remembered I was a detective just like my mom. I reached into my pocket and
felt the detective badge BB gave me. It made me feel better.
“Slow down!” barked Doc. “We don’t need to attract any attention. I’m calling for an
ambulance. That guy was bleeding pretty bad.”
From the backseat Bobby started moaning, rocking back and forth. I looked back at him. He
was very sad and crying big tears; Gamma called them “alligator tears.” “Dang it!” he said.
“Why the heck did he have to grab the gun. I didn’t mean to shoot him.”
“Settle down, Bobby Bruce,” said Jimmy Ray, looking in the rearview mirror at Bobby.
“We got company, and small ears need small words, buddy. We know you didn’t mean to shoot
no one. It just happened, and it looks like he’ll be okay.”
199
I was sitting between Jimmy Ray and Doc in the front seat. I looked from Jimmy Ray to
Doc, waiting for them to take me back to my mom. I had heard mom and Anika scream, and I
was scared. I knew that these men were taking me to help their kids. I could see them in my
head. I didn’t think they were bad men.
“Billy could fix Jim,” I said, looking at Jimmy Ray.
“Too late now, Billy,” said Jimmy Ray, patting my knee. “Jim is gonna be A-OK. Trust me
on that.”
“My Gampa says that.”
“What does your Gampa say?”
“A-OK.”
“Well then, your Gampa must be one fine fellow, wouldn’t you say so, Doc?”
“Indeed I would say that,” replied Doc. “I heard his hip is A-OK since Billy fixed it.”
“God fixed it,” I told them. Bobby started moaning again from the back. The tires hummed
like a dog outside the closed windows.
We drove for a while and the men didn’t say anything.. Then the GPS said, “Turn right onto
state Route sixty seven.”
“Hey Billy,” said Jimmy Ray, “What’s it like when you heal someone?”
“Billy feels hot inside.”
200
Jimmy Ray looked down at me and smiled. I decided I liked him and he was not a criminal.
When he touched me I did not see any bad stuff inside him. But I still figured he might go to jail
because kidnapping is pretty bad stuff.
“You’re not a bad guy, Jimmy Ray,” I told him. “So why did you kidnap me? The police
will put you in jail when they catch you.”
“You’re right, Billy. We did this because we want our kids to live and if we don’t do this
they will die very soon.”
“How soon?” I asked him.
“In a few weeks, Sport.”
“My mom calls me Sport.”
“Well then, Billy Blue Sky, she must be a very fine lady.”
“The best,” I agreed. “Billy will heal your kids,” I told him.
“I know, Billy. I know you will.”
201
Chapter ________
Steve
By the time I got onto Ventnor they were way ahead of me, turning onto Albany Avenue. I
floored it and weaved in and out of traffic. The light at Albany turned red, but I ran it.
Unfortunately there was a cop sitting at the intersection. I passed him doing fifty in a twenty five,
driving recklessly, running a red light, up on two wheels. His mouth was hanging open and his
eyes were wide as saucers. Then he hit his lights and siren and the chase was on. But I had a lead
on and nothing to lose, except my son. I left him in the dust.
Traffic was lighter on Albany and I quickly caught up to the Ford pickup. I flashed my
lights and pulled up next to him, motioning him to pull over. The rear window came down and a
guy stuck a revolver out and aimed it at me. Pop, pop! My side window imploded, glass flying
everywhere, including on my arms, neck and face. I could feel blood trickle down my cheek. I
pulled out my gun from the glove box and put it on the seat. If ever there was a need for personal
defense, it was now.
I took up post behind the truck. That’s when the cop caught me. I refused to pull over. So he
pulled up next to me and motioned me to pull over. I tried to pantomime that he needed to pull
over the truck, but he wasn’t buying that, so I flipped him off. Seriously, what was he going to
do, take me to jail? What else could possibly go wrong?
202
Billy
Jimmy Ray was telling me about his little girl. Then he looked in the rearview mirror and
said, “Who the heck is that? Some guy is flashing his lights at us.”
“Oh crap!” said Bobby. I can say crap around my Gampa, but not Gamma and no way
around Mom. We turned around to look. It was Daddy. Bobby had his gun out again.
“That’s my daddy!” I yelled. “Don’t shoot!”
Daddy drove real fast, flashing his lights and honking his horn. He came right up behind us,
like a stunt driver on TV where they say “Don’t do this at home.” I was so happy to see him I
clapped my hand. Then he pulled up next to us. His window was down and he was yelling and
waving at us. I waved back. “Daddy!”
Bobby rolled down his window behind me. I could feel the wind and the heat come in like
an oven. I looked back and Bobby was pointing his gun at Daddy’s car. Bang, bang bang! The
gun was so loud inside the truck it hurt my ears bad. I screamed, “Don’t you shoot my Daddy!”
Jimmy Ray yelled, “Stop that shooting Bobby, you dumbass!” Once Gampa called a guy on
TV a dumbass and Gamma turned off the TV and took me outside to play. Gampa is smart.
“Crap, there’s a cop coming up with his lights on!” said Jimmy Ray.
203
“Hooray the police are here!” I said, pumping my fist in the air. These guys were going to
jail for kidnapping me. Bobby was the scary one, but I liked Jimmy Ray and Doc, so I was gonna
tell the cops to let them go.
We kept driving and then Jimmy Ray said, “We’re in luck. They’re pulling over Billy’s
dad.”
Steve
In retrospect flipping off the cop was not way up there on the genius scale. He pulled back
behind me and used his loudspeaker. “This is the Atlantic City Police. Pull your vehicle to the
side of the road immediately!”
I pulled over and watched the truck with my son speed away from me.
The cop pulled his cruiser in tight behind, got out and approached my car. I expected a
tongue lashing but all he said was, “License and registration, sir.” I turned to get my registration
and saw the gun sitting on the seat. I had forgotten it! The trooper saw it too. He pulled his gun
and said, “Get out of the vehicle, now!” The barrel of his gun looked like a huge tunnel staring at
me. I got out of the car with my hands up.
“I have a li…” I began.
204
“Be quiet!” the cop cut me off. He turned me around and cuffed me. Just like that. He
walked me to the back of my car, and pushed me against the trunk. He put his gun away. He
called in my name and driver’s license on his radio and then he stared at me.
“Mr. Pearlman, my name is Patrolman Brimley. You just ran a red light, drove recklessly,
failed to pull over for a police vehicle, your window looks like it was shot out and you have an
unconcealed gun on your seat. You want to tell me what’s going on, sir.”
“The guys in the truck in front of me kidnapped my son,” I explained. “My son is Billy Blue
Sky, the kid who can heal people.”
His eyes got wide at that, and he asked, “The kid on TV? Wasn’t he just at Living Waters? I
go there.”
“Yes, we just left there. We were just leaving the church when…” He put up his hand to
stop me when his radio squawked, “Suspect has a clean record, no warrants. Sounds like he
could be the father of Billy Pearlman, dad of Billy Blue Sky, who was just reported as two-zeroseven. Copy?”
“Copy that, out,” replied Brimley.
“What’s a two-zero-seven?” I asked.
“Kidnapping,” he replied, as he spun me around and uncuffed me. I showed him my gun
carry permit, and he said, “Okay, Mr. Pearlman. We have different laws for handguns in New
Jersey. That permit is no good here. I really should arrest you for this, but your story’s legit and
you heard the call from my dispatcher. I’m sorry about your son. Did you get a license number?”
205
“No, the rear tag was missing.”
He let me go with a warning and drove away in the direction the truck took, lights still
flashing, siren screaming. I punched up a short cut on my iPhone and took off. I called Linda. It
rolled to voice mail.
206
Linda
I was running. Running hard down a dark street. It was either just before sunset or just after
sunrise. Couldn’t tell. The wind was blowing hard and my hair was trailing out behind in fourfeet tentacles. I knew I was dreaming but it felt real. Maybe I had died. Maybenot. But
something bad had definitely happened.
There was an awful sickly sweet smell in the air and I couldn’t breathe. I knew I needed to
stop running to catch my breath but then I would never find the thing I was running to find. The
people I needed to find. They were just up ahead of me.
I could hear Billy and Jim. Billy was crying and Jim was trying to soothe him. Billy was
calling out my name. I cried out to him but the wind tore my words away. I saw them come out
of my mouth. Letters were coming out of my mouth. It was a dream.
What was that awful smell? It must be sunrise because the light was getting brighter. I could
hear the distant sound of Jim and Billy running away as the sun rose, blinding me. I have to catch
them. I can’t breathe and now I can’t see.
“Please help me….I have to catch my son……I can’t see.”
“Open your eyes mam,” said a man’s voice from behind the light. So I did. Then I
remembered Billy was gone and tried to get up. Strong arms held me down. He wore a white
shirt with epaulettes. An embroidered patch on his pocket said Atlantic City Rescue Squad. A
207
name tag said “Frank Jones, EMT.” For some reason that seemed funny to me. I tried to laugh
but it came out as a cough.
I was lying on an elevated stretcher, still in the church parking lot. Flashing lights were all
around me and I could see several police vehicles along with two ambulances. They were just
rolling Jim into the open doors. I could see that his eyes were open. I called out to him but my
voice was weak.
“Take it easy, ma’am,” said Jones, bending over me.
“Linda, not a mam,” I said, slurring my words together.
“Linda Nottingham? Your license says Linda Pearlman.”
I nodded my head, which was still foggy. Then I got sick. I leaned over the side of the
stretcher and puked onto the tarmac. Jones held me, which I appreciated, though I was strapped
onto the stretcher and doubted I was going to tumble off. He wiped my face and gave me some
water to drink. That helped and my head was beginning to clear.
It all came back to me in a rush: The three men from Vineland, the shooting of Jim, the
abduction of Billy.
“They took my son!” I said, grabbing Jones weakly by the shirt.
“We know that, Misses Pearlman. The police got descriptions of the men from the wounded
man and his daughter. They already have an Amber Alert up.”
“How long have I been out?” I asked.
208
“About half an hour, ma’am.
“I have to go!” I said, pushing up against the straps again.
“Take it easy, Pearl,” said a voice behind me. It was BB. He was my friend. I started crying.
He unstrapped me from the bed and lifted the back so I could sit up. He held my hand and told
me it was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay. I thought he was full of bull and
told him so. He laughed.
“Now I know you’re gonna be okay, kid.”
“BB, I think they used chloroform on me.”
“No kidding they used it on you, Pearl. You can still smell it on you, like some kind of
cheap flavored liquor.”
I stretched, feeling better already, reliving the moments in the parking lot. Then I realized
BB shouldn’t be there. “Why are you here, BB?” I asked him.
“Lucky for you I was on my way up to visit my family in New York. Got a call from one of
the desk sergeants up here I used to work with in Brooklyn. He knew I was connected to you and
Billy. Badda bing, badda boom!”
“Tell me what’s going on, BB.”
“Yeah, sure Pearl. Here you go. You, your boyfriend Jim and his daughter came out here
after church. The three wise guys jumped you. They kidnapped Billy, shot the Doc and snuffed
you out like a light. Nasty stuff, very effective. You been out for about thirty minutes.”
209
“Did you get the Amber Alert out?”
“Sure did. Three men, white pickup, Jersey plates, ten-year-old boy with Down syndrome.
No rear tag.”
“Wait, what about Jim?”
“EMTs said he’d be okay. Shoulder shot. Lucky guy. Why’d they shoot him?”
“He tried to take their gun away.” I thought about Jim instinctively trying to help. It was a
stupid and instinctive act that could have gotten him killed, but I loved him for it. Steve probably
would have run away or put his hands up, but Jim risked his life for me.
I felt good enough to stand with BB’s help. He fended off one of the EMT’s who scuttled
over to try and get me to lie back down. But my head was clearing and I was already thinking
about tracking down the kidnappers to get my son back.
I told BB everything I knew about the three men. That they had their kids at some kind of a
medical facility in a nearby town called Vineland.. He agreed there could only be a couple placed
there capable of treating terminally ill kids. We could figure out which one pretty quickly.
“These guys are not criminals, BB. They are men pushed over the edge because their kids
are dying and Billy is their only hope.”
“You sound like you’re defending them, Pearl.”
“I’ve got to go after them, BB,” I said, staring off at the road where they took my son.
210
“Not yet you can’t,” replied BB. “EMTs said that stuff you sniffed can affect you for a
couple of hours—you can’t drive. But guess what kid? I can. Come on.”
“What about the Feds?” I asked.
“I talked to the State Police. They’re watching the roads, rest stops and the state lines. Go
get your iPad and get in. Let’s go get Billy.”
211
Billy
Jimmy Ray let me hold the steering wheel on the way to fix the kids. Sometimes Gampa let
me do that but only when we were alone ‘cause once Gamma saw him let me and she shouted so
loud it made my head hurt, even though she wasn’t yelling at me. I asked Jimmy Ray if I could
call my mom and he said okay and handed me his phone. Just like that. I figured maybe that
wasn’t a thing real kidnappers would do. I dialed the phone from memory ‘cause I remembered
and put it on speaker like Jimmy Ray said.
“This is Linda Pearlman,” my mom answered. That was her work voice. She didn’t know it
was me calling so I told her it was me.
“Mom, it’s me Billy!”
Mom started crying and talking at the same time. Gampa said only women could do that and
guys can’t, ‘cause we don’t have the right genes or something. I couldn’t understand her at all.
She kept crying and talking without making sense.
“Hey Detective Billy, how they hangin’ son?” It was BB, my favorite detective!
“They’re hanging out, BB!” That was what we always said. Mom didn’t like it, but BB and I
always said the same thing.
“Hey Sport, we’re coming to get you. Let me talk to Jimmy Ray.” Wow, he knew their
names already. BB was super smart. I gave the phone to Jimmy Ray.”
“This is Jimmy Ray McCoy speaking,” he said.
212
“This is Detective Bowling. I’m with Linda Pearlman, Billy’s mother. I believe you’ve
met?”
“Yeah, we’ve met,” said Jimmy Ray. “Mrs. Pearlman, we are really sorry about this. It was
not the way we wanted things to go down, but we are willing to go to jail for our kids.”
“I’m pretty sure we can help you with that, pal,” said BB. He calls lots of people pal, even
when he’s not really their pal. “Why don’t you tell us where you guys are heading? We’ll meet
you there and get Billy after he’s done his thing. Waddaya say?”
Jimmy Ray laughed. He had a good laugh. “Aw shucks, Detective, you must think we’re
dumber than dirt. We’ll get in touch after our kids are healed, not before.” He drove for a bit,
then asked, “How’s the doctor?”
“He should be fine,” said BB. “Look, Jimmy Ray, and the rest of you guys, I understand
what you are trying to do. I might do the same in your shoes. But do not hurt Billy. Promise me
you will do everything in your power to protect him.”
“I promise,” said Jimmy Ray, and Doc and Bobby in the back. I felt good knowing they
wouldn’t hurt me. Though I was already pretty sure they weren’t that kind of bad guys. They
were the kind of bad guys who try to do good. Really bad guys try to do bad.
“We gotta get off the phone now,” said Jimmy Ray.
“I love you Billy,” my mom said. I tried to say it back but Jimmy Ray had already closed his
phone. That was the first mean thing he had done.
213
Linda
When Billy called I was overcome. I couldn’t talk right. All the right words lined up in my
brain but what came out was complete garbage. I was the one with a speech impediment. The
combination of tears and gibberish did nothing to help my son, but at least he knew I was there.
Thank goodness for BB and his quick thinking to talk with the kidnappers. He was so calm and
matter-of-fact. I knew that this was one of the things they teach for hostage situations, but I was
still amazed and thankful to have him doing it in my—and Billy’s— behalf.
As soon as we were off the phone, I started doing searches for medical facilities in
Vineland. There were more than I thought, but we got lucky on the third call.
“Vineland Direct Care, Shelly speaking. How may I help you?”
I put on my best pushy New Jersey accent. “Hi Shelly this is Susie McCoy. I can’t reach my
husband Jimmy. Is he there, honey?” There was a pause on the other end of the line.
“Misses McCoy, your husband is here at the moment, but I thought you were with him. I
could have sworn I just saw you.”
“That’s okay, Shelly. I had to step out. See you in a bit.” I hung up and pumped my fist. BB
joined in. “We got ‘em.” The GPS said we’d be there in fifteen minutes. Steve called. I gave him
the address.
BB called the Vineland PD to arrange backup.
214
Billy
Jimmy Ray parked his truck in back of the medical place “so the bad guys don’t find us.”
But I knew he meant the police. I didn’t like that but they were big men. Gampa always told me
never fight someone if you knew they could beat you up. All these men could beat me up. Plus
Bobby had the gun.
It smelled like cancer when we walked in. I could smell the sick in the air. The smell hurt
my heart ‘cause I knew people were dying. Including the three kids I was there to save. I had a
job to do.
A pretty lady named Shelly said Hi, then a little bald-headed girl in a gown walked around
the corner, pushing an IV cart. She said, “Daddy!” and Jimmy Ray said, “Becky!” and ran for
her. But before he got to her she slipped and fell. She hit her head hard. I saw her eyes roll up
and there was blood on her head. Jimmy Ray started crying, saying, “Oh my poor baby,” over
and over. He picked her up and carried her down a hallway and into a room. We followed him.
There was a pretty lady sleeping on a chair by a window. She looked like a princess but her
eyes were real tired. She opened her eyes and jumped up from her chair. “Oh dear Lord I fell
asleep. What happened?”
“She slipped in the foyer and hit her head pretty good,” said Jimmy Ray, as he lay Becky
down on her bed. The mom looked at Becky’s head and wiped off some of the blood that was
still coming out. Blood never does gross me out. But it makes Jerome throw-up.
215
“It doesn't look so bad,” said the mom. “Probably gonna need some stitches. She’s pretty
hard-headed so I think she’s going to be fine.” Everyone let our breath out like a bunch of busted
tires. Hisssss. Just like tires. Ellen said, “Let’s let her rest a little while.”
She turned to me and said, “Hello Billy, my name is Ellen. I’m married to Jimmy Ray.” She
pointed at Becky asleep on the bed. “This is our Becky. She’s real sick. Do you think you can
help her, Billy?”
I went up and gave her a big hug. “If God wants it then it will happen,” I told her. She
hugged me again. We waited for a while then Ellen said it was time. Becky reminded me of how
Maggie looked on her bed at the hospital. It was like I could see through her skin into her heart.
She was so pretty but there was black stuff in her. Killing her. It was just like that with Becky. I
could feel the black stuff in her.
“She’s got black stuff in her,” I said. “ She’s real sick.” She was hot to the touch. That
meant she had a fever ‘cause Gamma taught me that. I put one hand on her arm and the other on
her head. I closed my eyes and nothing happened. I opened my eyes and said, “Something’s
wrong.”
All four of the grownups got in a circle, closed their eyes and started talking to God, all at
the same time. It made my heart feel good and I remembered I had forgotten to talk to him before
I put my hands on Becky. I forgot where my power comes from. Sometimes I’m an ignoramus.
Gampa said that was a type of dinosaur but Gamma got real upset and threw a potholder at him
when he said that word, so now it is a secret word we use, but never around Gamma.
216
I closed my eyes again and started to feel the tingle as God poured down my arms and into
Becky. Then I heard the lady out front say, “You can’t go in there!” The tingle stopped and I
opened my eyes just as the door flew open. My Mom ran in and hugged me. Then Bobby hugged
us both. He had his gun out and it was aimed right at BB, who was standing at the door. He had
his gun out too. And his detective badge!
Linda
BB told me to wait, to let him do the talking and the police work. But when he cracked the
door and I saw Billy I forgot everything and ran to him. I needed to hold him, to feel him, to
prove that he was okay. It reminded me of the time when he was three and walked out of our
yard, down the street, and crossed a busy four-lane highway on his own. I ran across the road,
nearly got hit, and snatched Billy from the nice man who had pulled him out of traffic. I never
did thank that man.
Bobby got behind Billy and me and aimed his gun at BB. “Put down your gun, sir, or I will
shoot you. I already shot one guy today. I am not stable and you do not want to mess with me.
Billy is going to heal three kids right now and you are going to let him. Then I will turn myself
in. Now put down your gun. Put it down!” BB put his gun on the floor and slid it into the room.
217
“Jimmy Ray!” barked Bobby. Jimmy Ray picked up BB’s gun and motioned him into the
room. “Hands behind your back, sir,” said Jimmy Ray. Those boys were polite, I’ll give them
that. Even while committing a crime. Doc taped BB’s hands together using white medical tape.
Billy had a horrified look on his face, about to cry, while they taped BB’s hands behind his
back. BB noticed and smiled at Billy, saying, “Hi ya Billy Boy, how they hangin’?” Billy looked
surprised, then laughed, realizing that BB was okay.
Bobby covered BB while Jimmy Ray came back to the bed and put his hands on Billy’s
shoulders. BB said “Boys, you’d better make this fast because in five minutes this place will be
surrounded by the local police who want a reason to bust in here. If we’re not out in a few
minutes, they’re coming in. Now, don’t be stupid; you’ll already in a lot of trouble.’’
Jimmy Ray ignored BB and looked into Billy’s eyes. “Are you ready, Billy? My Becky
needs you.”
“I know she does,” said Billy with certainty. He took Becky’s hand in his and looked into
her face. He laughed.
“What’s so funny, honey?” asked Ellen.
Billy pointed at Becky, saying, “She looks like Maggie. Maggie had cancer.”
“So does Becky. Do you think you can help her?”
“Maggie got better.”
He bowed his head and closed his eyes. He put one hand on Becky’s forehead and held her
hand with the other. Doc and Ellen stepped forward and took Jimmy Ray’s hand. They closed
218
their eyes and prayed for God to work through Billy and save their Becky. The lights flickered
and their cell phones beeped once. Jimmy Ray took his out and saw that it was powering up.
Becky opened her eyes. They were clear and free of pain. It was that fast. Sick, then healthy.
She stared at Billy for a while, then said, “I saw you outside. What happened?”
Billy smiled. “You fell down and hit your head.”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
“I know.”
“I have leukemia. I’m going to die soon.”
Billy shook his head no. Ellen lifted Billy’s chin up and said, “Billy, did you heal Becky?”
Billy shook his head no again. Ellen cried out and began weeping. We all did. My son was
kidnapped, my boyfriend had been shot, BB and I were hostages, but the overriding emotion in
the moment was about saving these kids. The grief was overpowering.
“I’m all better!” said Becky. The crying stopped. She held up her arms and flexed them. “I
feel strong. Billy healed me!”
“God did it,” said Billy.
Jimmy Ray began sobbing. Doc had to hold him up or he would have gone down on the
ground, so great was his relief. Ellen rolled Becky back over on her side to look at her head
wound again.
219
“Oh my God. My God,” she said. The others came closer and looked. There was blood
matted in Becky’s hair, but the wound was gone. It had closed up without a trace. Ellen rolled
her around and checked her entire head to be sure—the wound had disappeared.
Jimmy Ray was on the floor now, on his knees in thanks to the God he thought did not care.
He was overcome with guilt for his lack of faith and for committing the sinful act that resulted in
the healing of his daughter. But mostly he was overcome with relief that Becky was healed. He
believed now, after seeing the head wound magically healed.
Ellen joined him on the floor, while Bobby and Doc just stared at Becky, who was talking to
Billy about rabbits and guinea pigs. BB and I stood there watching the tableau.
Jimmy Ray and Bobby herded us to the next room where Doc’s daughter Marybeth lay in a
coma. Ellen remained with Becky. I could tell that Jimmy Ray and Bobby were well acquainted
with the guns, maybe from hunting in the farm and Pine Barrens surrounding this isolated New
Jersey town.. They made BB sit against the wall while Billy did his magic on Marybeth.
Doc introduced him to her. “Billy this is Marybeth. She’s twelve. She has a brain tumor and
doctors can’t operate on it. She’s in a coma. Do you know what that is?”
Billy nodded his head slowly. He looked tired. “It means she’s sleeping and may never
wake up again.” He took Doc’s hand and shook it, saying, “Let me see if God can wake her up,
Doc.”
220
Chapter
Steve
I arrived at the facility just ahead of what looked to be the entire Vineland police. I could see
and hear them behind me. There were cruisers, unmarked vehicles, a van and a couple of
motorcycles pulling in right behind me. They were fast, but I was faster: I parked next to the
front door, grabbed my gun and ran inside.
I yelled, “Where did they take my son?” to the terrified young woman at the front desk. She
put up her hands and pointed down the hallway.
I raced to the end of the hall and turned right, the only direction possible. Billy came out of
a door thirty feet away from me, quickly followed by one of the kidknappers. Behind them a
woman, then Linda, BB and the other two bad guys.
Billy saw me, and yelled, “Daddy!” He broke free from the guy holding him and ran
towards me.
Everything moved really fast at that point. The big guy with the gun pushed BB and Linda
against the wall. The short guy aimed his gun at me. Billy was between us so I didn’t think he
would fire. But he did, just as Billy reached me. I saw a red rose of blood unfold on his T-shirt.
He fell into my arms and said, “Hi Daddy.” Then he closed his eyes and went limp. Everything
went red. I laid him on the ground and began firing at the guy who shot Billy. He fired back. It
221
sounded like a war movie. We were maybe twenty feet apart. How could we miss? Then there
was pain and I was on the ground, staring at my dead son. I fell asleep, hoping I was going to see
Billy again in Heaven.
Linda
At first I thought it might end well. All the things I had ever held against Steve were erased
in the moment he came around the corner, gun in hand, a hero come to save his son. Jimmy Ray
slammed me into the wall just as Billy broke free and ran to his daddy.
Bobby raised his gun, and I tried to swat it away, worried he might hit Billy. He fired and
the back of Billy’s T-shirt bloomed red and he fell into his father’s arms. I could not believe
Billy had been shot, refused to believe it, even as Steve and Bobby began shooting at each other.
Jimmy Ray pushed us down.
Then silence and the smell of cordite. Bobby whimpering beside us.
We stood and surveyed the scene. Bobby, Steve and Billy were down. Jimmy Ray gave his
gun to BB while I ran to Billy and Steve. Steve was dead: on his back, his lifeblood pooled
around him, mixed in with his son’s. His sightless eyes stared at the ceiling, a satisfied smile on
his face. His last act had been to save Billy. After so many years of denying his son, he had
finally given in completely. He was at peace.
222
But Billy! Oh God no, please not my son. He was lying on his stomach, a pool of blood
forming on either side. I was sobbing as I turned him over. He opened his eyes and gave me a
tired smile. He tried to speak but couldn’t form the words. He reached for my hand. I wept. His
breathing became ragged and slow. A tremor went through him and he was gone. Just like that.
Gone. I fell across his body and lost myself in grief.
“He’s not dead, Linda,” came a small voice in the back of my mind. It was a stupid hope, I
knew, since I had seen him die. “He’s not dead,” said the voice again, louder this time. I felt a
hand pull me off of Billy, and I looked up into brightness, a tremendous glow, as if someone was
shining a powerful spotlight at me.
Gabby had come.
She was dressed in scrubs, identical to the other nurses at the facility. She knelt beside Billy
and placed her hands on his chest. Light exploded off of her again. All lights and electronics in
the facility shut down, exactly like when Billy had healed Maggie and all the others.
Billy opened his eyes and smiled at me. “I’m back!” he said, and got up on his elbows. I
grabbed him and looked at the front of his shirt. It was covered with blood. I took his shirt off
and examined his body, front and back. There were no entry or exit wounds. They were gone. So
was Gabby. She had vanished. The lights came back on and I came out of what seemed to be a
dream and looked around me.
BB was there beside me, his gun in hand. “I thought sure he was a goner,” he said. “Could
swore I saw an entry wound. What did that nurse do to him?”
223
“Maybe she just prayed,” I offered. It was of course the truth. It wasn’t until later that I
realized BB and the others could actually see Gabby. She revealed herself to them, did what she
had come to do, and left.
BB looked at me with a funny look on his face for a long time, then he nodded. “Yeah, I’m
sure she was praying.”
A couple of fluorescent lights had exploded when the power went out and now sprinkled us
with fluffy snowflakes. By this time Billy was getting up and saw his father. He cried, “Daddy!”
He crawled to him and shook Steve. “Wake up, Daddy! Wake up!”
I tried to tell him his daddy was dead, but he would not listen. He prayed, he called out to
God, he put his hands on Steve and tried his hardest to heal him as he had so many times before.
But it didn’t work.
“It doesn’t work, Mommy,” he said to me. “Something’s wrong. I can’t feel the tingle
anymore.” He was covered in blood, his own and his dad’s, and now he put his arms around
Steve and wept for his dead daddy. The daddy he could not bring back to life this time around.
Nor could he bring back Bobby, who had been killed by Steve during the shootout. Neither could
he save Bobby’s son, Daniel, who died a week later.
Police swarmed in, guns drawn. We were all cuffed, even BB, until they sorted out who was
who. They let me go to the hospital with Billy, where they looked him over completely and kept
him there for a day of testing. He was fine. No damage. His heart was fine, but it was broken
because of his father. He was inconsolable until BB came and gave Billy a new detective badge,
this one a very real looking gold badge, with some wear on it.
224
“It’s a real shield,” BB told us. “Just out of date. Don’t flash it around, kid. Listen, your dad
was a hero. I think we should give him a badge to take with him. What do you think?”
Billy clapped and the sun came out again, but he was never quite the same again. A little
quieter, a little older. He had seen more death, violence and craziness in the past few months than
most see in a lifetime. I wondered if the Blue Sky part would remain.
As to the healing gift he had been given, it seemed that the shooting had taken it away.
Maybe Gabriel’s healing of Billy had something to do with it and she had taken the gift with her.
I wasn’t sure, but the fact that he could not heal Steve or Daniel led me to believe Billy no longer
had the gift.
Maybe that was better. Maybe it would allow us have normal lives. Normal felt good at the
moment. Family felt good, being with Billy and Jim, Anika and my family. I felt peaceful
knowing that we were part of something bigger and more spectacular than any of us.
225
Epilogue
Linda
Billy is playing with Velvet and Anika on the family room floor. My mom is knitting and
watching everyone and my dad is watching TV and keeping an eye on Mom. Jim is asleep in the
recliner, just arrived from an all-nighter on call at the hospital.
The promotional tour is on hold, but may continue soon. A book deal is about to be signed.
Two millions dollars! We just started receiving some of the tour money. Billy made national
news, once again, after the shootout. It was dubbed a miracle that he lived. Billy was never in
significant danger, though he did lose a fair amount of blood. The bullet fragment had lodged in
his liver. According to the doctors, including Jim, the liver is an amazing healing machine, His
liver, ribs, and entry wound had completely healed, seemingly on their own.
He has not used his gift since then. All signs are that it was just a temporary thing, now gone
for good. Billy understands now that bad things can happen even when you are trying to do
good. He understands that his mission may be done. He thinks of himself as God’s detective.
Maybe he is.
Whatever the case, he is not allowed to try to heal anyone, ever again, unless it is an
emergency. I explained that we want to be a normal family. He told me he’s not normal. None of
us are. I laughed. How can you not laugh and be amazed by my son?
226
We were greeted by a large crowd, including photographers and TV crews, when we arrived
home. I told them Billy had lost his gift. Maybe it was the bullet. We don’t know, but now Billy
Blue Sky is going back to being a regular boy. They were disappointed, but the accepted the
news. Jim and I are getting married in the fall. My business is booming, thanks in no small part
to my son, and to the success I had with some recent cases Billy was involved with.
For now, I just want him to grow up and live a full life. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for him.
Maybe later, when he’s grown up, he can see if he still has the gift. But for now, I just want to
hear him laugh and play.
“Owww!” cried Anika. “Velvet bit me!” She held up her hand and sure enough, there were
two small punctures from Velvet’s puppy teeth.
“Oh, you’ll be okay, Anika,” I said after taking a look at the bite. “Let me get some
antiseptic and a Band-Aid. I’ll be right back.”
As I was leaving the room I noticed Billy studying Anika’s hand with fascination. It wasn’t
until I was rummaging through the medicine cabinet that I realized what Billy might try to do. I
ran back into the room just as the lights went out and came right back on.
The sudden darkness, cell phone beeps and light woke Jim up. “What’s going on?” he asked
groggily.
Anika held up her now wound-free hand. I gave Billy a stern look, shaking my head.
“It was an emergency, Mom,” he said.
227
228