Welcome to Session 4! Meeting Developmental Needs: Loss Remember the Core Competencies of PRIDE: 1. Protecting and Nurturing Children 2. Meeting Children’s Developmental Needs and Addressing Developmental Delays 3. Supporting Relationships Between Children and Their Families 4. Connecting Children to Safe, Nurturing Relationships Intended to Last a Lifetime 5. Working as a Member of a Professional Team Supplemental Handouts for This Session • Copy of PRIDE Connection Exercise on Loss The Child Health Program • Partnership between the UMDNJ School of Nursing (Francois-Xavier Bagnoud Center) and DCF/DYFS, established in 2008 • The purpose of the Child Health Program (CHP) is to support DCF/DYFS to ensure that the medical/dental/mental health needs of children in out-ofhome placement are met • The CHP develops child-specific health care plans • The CHP adheres to recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) The Child Health Program “Health Care Management is the responsibility the of the child welfare agency, but it is a function that requires medical expertise.” 1 • Numerous studies indicate that children and adolescents in foster care have multiple physical, emotional and developmental needs • Health Care Management is provided by the CHP to overcome barriers to ensure that children & adolescents receive high-quality, comprehensive and coordinated health care 1 Fostering Health: 2nd Edition, Task Force on Health Care for Children in Foster Care, AAP, 2005 The Child Health Program • Responsible for managing the health care needs of children in out-of-home placement through Health Care Case Management • Ongoing interaction with DYFS staff regarding health and medical needs of children in placement • Provide nursing summary and Individualized Health Care Plan for children Components of Health Care Services • The American Academy of Pediatrics indicates there are four primary components to health care services: 1. 2. 3. 4. An initial health screening (pre-placement exam) within 24 hours of placement A comprehensive medical and dental assessment (CHEC or CME) within 30 days of placement A developmental and mental health evaluation (part of CHEC) Ongoing primary care and monitoring with the child’s Medical Home • Continuity of care for children in out-of-home placement is paramount! Initial Health Screening • Pre-placement or re-placement physicals are completed within 24 hours of placement/re-placement • Physicals are to be completed by CHU nurse, Urgent Care Center or Medical Home • DYFS policy prohibits pre-placement and re-placement physicals in hospital emergency rooms unless deemed necessary by the Local Office Manager Comprehensive Medical Exam • Comprehensive Health Examination for Children (CHEC) includes a mental health assessment (detailed interview and evaluation) • Comprehensive Medical Examination (CME) includes a mental health screening (just a few general questions) • CHU Staff Assistant will coordinate and schedule – must be completed within 30 days of placement Developmental & Mental Health Evaluation • If during CHEC/CME needs are identified, CHU will follow up to assure that appropriate follow-up is obtained • Children under age 3 should have an evaluation by the Early Intervention Program (EIP) Ongoing Primary Care and Monitoring with Medical Home • Medical Home refers to child’s primary care physician • Medicaid HMO must be selected • Continue with prior Medical Home when feasible (continuity of care) • Early Periodic Screening, Diagnosis and Treatment (EPSDT) exams at specified intervals as per Bright Futures/AAP • Immunizations per Centers for Disease Control (CDC) • Routine dental exam and care every 6 months, starting at age 3*. How It Works: The Child Health Unit • Group of child health care staff (nurses and assistants), dedicated to serving DYFS children in a given area: – – – – – Ensure that children receive their immunizations, dental and medical appointments according to the American Academy of Pediatrics and Bright FuturesTM Access immunizations records Obtain medical records and medical information Assist Resource Parents with advocating for a child’s health care needs Manage the health care needs of children in out of home placement How It Works: The Child Health Unit • Group of child health care staff (nurses and assistants), dedicated to serving DYFS children in a given area: – – – – Health care resources, support, and education for Resource Families A “bridge” to the healthcare community Communicates with those involved in care of child, keeping them informed of child’s health status and participating in key case conferences concerning the child May attend regional placement conferences, family team meetings, court hearings, etc. The Child Health Unit Ensuring That A Child’s Health Care Needs Are Met • Physical Health Needs – Children receive Early and Periodic Screening Diagnostic and Treatment (EPSDT) examinations in accordance with the periodicity schedule – Children receive timely immunizations – Children receive appropriate follow-up care to address their health needs (includes follow-up of the recommendations of health care providers) The Child Health Unit Ensuring That A Child’s Health Care Needs Are Met • Mental Health Needs – Children receive mental health assessments – Child Health Unit will work with DYFS to ensure referrals that service are in place • Dental Health Needs – Children 3 years and older receive semi-annual dental examinations- unless indicated otherwise. New recommendations began screening at age 1. The Child Health Unit Communication is KEY! • In-Person Contact: – The Child Health Nurse will contact Resource Parents and make a home visit within 2-3 weeks of placement and visit about every 2-4 months depending on the child’s healthcare needs. • Phone Contact: – Resource Parents are expected to contact their child health nurse to inform them of any changes in health care status of the children in their care, doctor visits, new medications, etc. The Child Health Unit • In the Beginning … – Ensure pre-placement and re-placement physicals for children in placement are completed within 24 hours of initial placement or a change in placement. – The child health nurse will complete a DYFS form that is the child’s Health Passport. This is mailed or given to the Resource Parent. – The nurse may be calling you to discuss significant health care issues before receipt of the Health Passport. The Child Health Unit • Ongoing care… – A child health care plan is developed by the Child Health Nurse which will include their nursing plan and recommendations from health care providers and other community sources as well (e.g. School). – The Health Care Plan is a living document and so it changes as the health care of your child changes. The Child Health Unit staff and Resource Parents will be communicating often. Child Health: YOUR Responsibilities • Maintenance of a “Medical Log” by the Resource Parent is expected and will be reviewed by the nurse at visits. The Medical Log should include all health care visits (well & sick), medications, illnesses, injuries, appetite. • According to DYFS policy, if a child has a fever of 100.4°F, you must contact your child’s primary doctor. • The Resource Parent must maintain a copy of the child’s immunization record. • Psychotropic medications require DYFS approval • CPR Certification is recommended for all Resource Parents and caregivers. The Child Health Unit Questions? Activity – Guided Imagery The Removal Definitions • Separation is the change that occurs when there is a break up in a relationship • Loss is the effect on people when something important is withdrawn • Grief is the process that helps people work together through the pain of separation and loss Challenges of Dealing with Loss • Separation, loss and grief are painful experiences to think and talk about • It makes us uncomfortable to be with children and adults who are sad and angry • The grief of others can remind us of our own losses and trigger painful memories • Our own painful experiences can either help or hinder the way we respond to other’s losses • We often feel unsure how to help others people deal with their pain • Dealing with painful losses can take a long time, sometimes forever Categories and Types of Losses • Loss of physical/mental health • Loss of significant people • Loss of self esteem or sense of well- being Expected Losses • Usually shared by all human beings • Usually a lot of support for expected losses • Usually considered “normal” and we therefore feel normal in our need to grieve • There may be regrets, but typically no great sense of blame or shame • Usually prepared by life for these to occur Name Some Examples of Expected Losses • Death of a parent or older family member • Moving to a new home, leaving friends and community behind • Moving to a new job or retiring • Children growing up and leaving home • Loss of senses or abilities as a result of aging • Loss of certain privileges and freedoms as we mature from children to adults Unexpected Losses • Usually unprepared to cope • Usually not shared equally by all humans • Sometimes there is little understanding or support from society about the need to grieve • Often a sense of personal shame or blame • Often not regarded as “normal losses” and this sense of being different complicates the grieving process Name Some Examples of Unexpected Losses • • • • • • • • Loss of a child Sudden loss of a job Financial losses Serious Illness or injury Car accidents, fire, natural disasters Infertility Theft of property Divorce Why Do We Need To Know These Categories? • Important to understand that the majority of significant experiences in life can involve a loss of some kind • Some losses are not as apparent as others • The most frequent loss people suffer is loss of self-esteem • All people who experience loss respond to it with feelings and behaviors Name Some Losses that Birth Families May Encounter When Children Enter Foster Care • Loss of the child/children • Loss of home (housing assistance may be discontinued when there are no children) • Loss of health (drug addiction, HIV, depression) • Loss of spouse/significant other • Loss of self-esteem (society looks down on offenders of child abuse and neglect) • Loss of control/self direction (must negotiate the return of their children with DYFS/Courts) Name Some Losses that Resource Families May Encounter • Loss of family stability • Loss to own children in assuming role of resource family (having to share time with other children) • Loss of self-esteem (children who do not respond or are difficult to manage) • Possible loss of status in the community (perception of anything having to do with DYFS is negative) • Loss of important people (other team members when a child returns home) • Loss to own children and extended family when a child returns home • Loss of autonomy in parenting (need “permission” from DYFS) • Loss of privacy • Loss of health (exposure to children being placed, mental stress) Name Some Losses that Adoptive Families May Encounter • Loss of the family experience as they “expected” it to be if they were unable to have their own (birth) children • Loss of exclusive parenting role in children’s lives (children are likely to be curious about their birth family) • Loss of control in their family development (need to work with other team members to identify a child that is “right” for them) Pathway Through the Grieving Process • Resource families need to understand how people grieve their losses • Grief is a healthy process that we must go through to heal the painful feelings of loss • The “Pathway Through the Grieving Process” is described on PRIDEBook Page 136. • The entry point into this process can be any significant loss (health, significant person or selfesteem) Pathway Through the Grieving Process Loss Health This pathway illustrates responses to grief, not necessarily stages of grief. Self-Esteem Shock/Denial/Protest Bargaining Significant Persons These responses may not occur in orderly progression, as illustrated. Anger Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Many people may go back and forth from one response to another … Coping Managing Loss … or they may exhibit several of these responses at once. Shock Denial and Protest Loss • We try to stop the loss from occurring or deny Health Self-Esteem Significant that the loss has occurred. Persons Shock/Denial/Protest Bargaining Anger Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss What Behaviors Might Be Expected of Children Experiencing Grief in Foster Care & Adoption? Loss Health • Flat emotions, noSelf-Esteem evidence of beingSignificant upset Persons • Denial that theyShock/Denial/Protest have been removed by Bargaining showing no reaction to the separation • Continually asking Anger to go home Acting Out Depression • (Outward Refusal to eat, sleeping problems, being Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding susceptible to injuries or developing Coping illnesses (real or imagined) Managing Loss What Behaviors Might Be Expected of Children Experiencing Grief in Foster Care & Adoption? Loss Health Self-Esteem Significant • Denying that there is anything is wrong in Persons Shock/Denial/Protest their family • Living in a fantasyBargaining world that their parents will show up any minute to reclaim them Anger Acting Out to please and show compliant Depression • Eager (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) behaviors, pretending that nothing really Understanding bad or scary has happened Coping Managing Loss How to Handle Shock/Denial Responses Loss • Recognize that the absence of outward expression of feelings doesn’t mean thatSignificant there is Health Self-Esteem no feeling Persons Shock/Denial/Protest • Provide information to the child about the situation in a reassuring and age-appropriate or Bargaining developmentally-appropriate manner • Ensure a comfortable Anger and comforting environment Acting Out Depression Anger) • (Outward Reassure the child that he or she is safe(Inward Anger) Understanding • Provide close supervision to prevent injuries and Copingneeds are being met to ensure child’s physical Managing Loss Bargaining Loss • Feeling that there must be some type of Health Self-Esteem atonement where they may make a dealSignificant and the Persons situation will go away. Shock/Denial/Protest Bargaining Anger Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss What Behaviors Might Be Expected of Children Responding to Grief Loss by Bargaining? Healthmay have conversations Self-Esteem • Child with self Significant Persons • Use of inappropriate behaviors as a way of Shock/Denial/Protest getting “kicked out” or sent to where the child Bargaining wants to be Anger • May try to be “perfect” as way of making the Acting Out Depression situation “perfect” (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) • May have feelings Understanding of guilt and self blame Coping Managing Loss How to Handle Bargaining Responses • Provide opportunities Loss to talk and express feelings Health Self-Esteem Significant Persons • Give permission Shock/Denial/Protest to express sad, guilty, angry and blaming feelings Bargaining • Help them understand returning home depends Anger primarily on family’s behavior, not theirs • Provide Acting Out consistent and supportive reminders Depression (Outward Anger) are safe (Inward Anger) that they Understanding • Give factual and nonjudgmental information about what happenedCoping and the reason for it Managing Loss Anger Loss • Shows itself in two different ways: Health Self-Esteem Significant Persons Shock/Denial/Protest Acting Out - “Outward Anger” Bargaining Depression - “InwardAnger Anger” Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss Acting Out Loss • Expressing angry, hostile behaviors Health Significant • Realization that the Self-Esteem loss has occurred and it Persons Shock/Denial/Protest cannot be undone Bargainingto express these • Children may find it easier feelings toward resource families rather than Anger toward their birth families Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss How to Handle Acting Out Responses Loss • Give permission to feel angry, while giving them Healthto express this Self-Esteem Significant ways in a healthy and non Persons harmful manner Shock/Denial/Protest • Give them daily, consistent Bargaining and structured support in managing their angry feelings Anger • Connect them to counseling or therapy Acting Out Depression • (Outward Teach good behavior management strategies Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding • Openly support child’s relationship with birth families and siblings Coping Managing Loss Depression Loss • Can be less visible to resource families, Health Significant teachers and socialSelf-Esteem workers Persons • Equally importantShock/Denial/Protest to manage these feelings Bargaining Anger Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss How to Identify Depression Responses • May have excessive fear Loss • Lack of interest or ability to engage in the normally expected Health Self-Esteem Significant activities Persons • Clingy behaviors Shock/Denial/Protest • Lack of feelings in response to happy or sad experiences Bargaining • Anxious behaviors • Withdrawn from peers or adults Anger • Suicidal gestures or ideation • Substance Acting Out abuse and sexual promiscuity Depression • (Outward Poor school performance Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding • Poor hygiene and physical appearance Coping Managing Loss How to Handle Depression Responses Loss • Reassurance that the child is valuable, important and lovable • Permission for the child to feel sad and reassurance that over Health Significant time things will feel betterSelf-Esteem Persons • Time to be left alone without expectations of joining the family Shock/Denial/Protest life • Encouragement for even small accomplishments Bargaining • Close structured supervision Angerand sense of hopefulness • Comfort, reassurance of safety • Availability and nurturing child without pushing child to talk Acting Out Depression • (Outward Opportunity Anger) for the child to cling, while providing reassurance (Inward Anger) for independent actions Understanding • Collaboration with mental health professionals Coping • Collaboration with substance abuse professionals Managing Loss Understanding Loss • Children are beginning to let go of their powerful Health feelings of grief andSelf-Esteem begin to understandSignificant in a Persons more realistic way what has happened to them Shock/Denial/Protest and why it happenedBargaining • They begin to express why they felt ashamed, Anger guilty, mad, sad or glad Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss Coping Loss • This is moving beyond understanding, allowing more energy to accomplish the tasks of life and providing a Healthof hope for the future Self-Esteem Significant sense Persons • May begin to demonstrate new behaviors and feel a Shock/Denial/Protest sense of having changed or grown Bargaining Anger Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss What is a Loss Manager Loss • When one is successful in completing the Health Significant pathway through theSelf-Esteem grieving process, they are Persons able to offer theirShock/Denial/Protest awareness and skills to help others grieve Bargaining • Children need Loss Managers to help them on Anger the pathway through the grieving process Acting Out Depression (Outward Anger) (Inward Anger) Understanding Coping Managing Loss Factors that Influence How Loss is Experienced • • • • • • • • • Nature of the Loss Age at the time of the Loss Degree of Attachment Ability to Understand Why Amount of Emotional Strength Cultural Influences Circumstances Causing the Loss Number of Previous Separations and Losses Help given Prior to, During, and After the Loss Why is it important for resource families to understand their own experiences with loss? • If you are overwhelmed with your own losses, it will be difficult to help children manage their losses • Thinking about how we have been helped to grieve may help us help others with their grieving • Cultural influences and “rules” about grieving may lead us to expect others to grieve in the same way we grieve • Seeing how we have been able to manage losses in our past may give us confidence in helping someone else • Children experiencing losses may “trigger” sad memories and feelings related to losses in our own past Losses Specific to Adopted Children • Finality of the separation from their birth family • Loss of their foster family • Loss of friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches and others they knew • Loss of the hope that they might return to their birth family Grieving is an Ongoing Process! • Children may proceed through the grieving process and come to an understanding of their loss and develop healthy ways to cope • During adolescence or adulthood, they may need to grieve the loss again, this time, with greater cognitive and emotional capabilities Using a Loss History Chart • PRIDEBook Page 137 shows a template for a Loss History Chart • Helpful tool to help foster/adoptive parents understand losses a child has experienced • You will complete your own Loss History Charts as “homework” Loss History Chart • Overview of child’s history • Information to help understand how well they have grieved old losses • Information on what early developmental stages may have been affected by the losses • Information to prepare us for what we might expect the child to experience with current losses • Information about past behaviors that may help with handling current behaviors and predict future behaviors • Better understanding of emotional age and problems with attachment • Assess if past losses may have prevented child from achieving expected physical, intellectual, social, emotional and moral development • Assists us in planning for the child The Importance of Teamwork • Resource families need to work with other members of the professional team to help children manage their losses • Managing loss is an ongoing process as the feelings of old losses are triggered by life experiences CLOSURE • • • • Review Key Points, PRIDEBook Pages 141-147 Review You Need to Know!, PRIDEBook Pages 148-151 Read A Birth Parent’s Perspective, PRIDEBook p. 152 Complete the PRIDE Connection exercise on PRIDEBook Pages 153-154 (copy in packet) • Read Making A Difference!, PRIDEBook Page 155-156 • Session 5: Strengthening Family Relationships Group Exercise: “Nathan” • Remember Nathan from the “Making a Difference” video • PRIDEBook Page 122 contains a vignette that provides more detail about Nathan • Consider the losses Nathan has experienced, how the team can help him, and what supports he may need Group Exercise: “Nathan” • What losses has Nathan had to grieve? Of these losses, which will he need to continue to grieve and why? – His mother (killed in a random shooting) – His father (alcoholism led to placement) – Extended family – School (quit school to care for his father) – Childhood (had to care for his father) – Self-esteem Group Exercise: “Nathan” • How might the team help Nathan now with his past and present losses? – Give him time to grieve and heal – Nurturing, structure and consistency at home – Gentle encouragement – Acknowledgement of successes and efforts – Help him to understand the nature of alcoholism and its impact on the family – Refer him to counseling Group Exercise: “Nathan” • What supports may Nathan continue to need in the future? – Continued contact with the resource family – Counseling for Nathan to deal with separation, his father to continue his sobriety, and for the family to help them heal – Guidance for Nathan when he graduates high school (college, training, life skills) Activity • Picture a loved one in your mind • Think about how important this person is to you and how they impact your life • Write down this person’s name on a piece of paper and concentrate on how important they are to you • Fold the paper in half and set it in front of you, keeping your eyes closed and focusing on this person • Now … Open your eyes What Kevin’s Loss History Teaches Us • Being a Loss Manager for Kevin will be a challenging job • Seeing how Kevin’s behaviors changed over time and after many losses may help us predict future behaviors (running away, continued inappropriate behavior) • May help Kevin’s foster family not to take his reactions personally • Can help the foster family set realistic expectations for Kevin