Revision
Reasons and Process
What is Revision and Why?

Revision is not just proofreading or the socalled cosmetic revision.

Revision is to "enter into a conversation
with your previous thoughts." In other
words, revision may involve changing your
ideas and thus your self.
What is Revision and Why? (2)
No writing is perfect. Every piece of
writings can be revised. However,
sometimes it's not easy for the writers to see
their own problems or limitations. That’s
why you need a second or third opinion.
 For junior English majors, moreover, it's
important to learn how to revise with the
help of your peers as well as your teachers.

Other Purposes
For you to enjoy producing a(nother) master
piece which is both creative and intelligent;
 For us to attain the minimum standards of
Junior composition.  No requirement in
length and mode, as long as you do go
through “significant” revisions.

Revision: How?

1.
2.
3.
three stages:
Rethinking;
Reshaping;
Copy-editing.
Rethinking
1.Reseeing/rethinking: changing what a
piece says or its "bones."
 -- What is your essay about? What do you
want do about it and for what?
-- Are you ready to challenge yourself? Are
you able to take another perspective to look
at the same issue? Do you have anything to
add to it?

Rethinking: examples



Learning attitudes of Taiwan college students
nowadays
Most of English department students can never
memorize the exact names of gods in mythology,
but definitely, we can easily make a list of all the
famous brands, such as Prada, Cucci or Chanel.
Most of us still like studying, but are likely to be
distracted; while still some others are engrossed in
the outer world, interesting but unrealistic. For them,
the black and white textbooks can never compete
with the colorful and exciting life they long to have.
What is knowledge? What is taste? And undue
pursuit of brand names? What are the differences
between proper entertainment and distractions?
Rethinking: examples (2)
Analysis: The Charm of the Best-selling
Korean Soap Opera ― Endless Love
-- Owning to dramatic plot along with regular
patterns and delicate production ― wellchosen casts, touching lines, slow pace,
romantic atmosphere, fairylike scenery, and
appealing music, Endless Love becomes
irresistible to Taiwanese.
-- Really irresistible? To which groups of
Taiwanese? Aren’t there problems in this
lack of resistance?

Rethinking: examples (3)



Analysis:The King of Convenience Stores—7-11
In conclusion, it is very smart that 7-11 maintains
good cooperating relationships with some famous
organizations, and their useful products always
surprise people. Without imitating other convenience
stores, 7-11 sets up a creative and unparalleled model
that always renovate their products and services. Thus,
7-11 can successfully wins most customers in this
business field.
Do we really prefers going to 7-11, or is it a matter of
convenience?
Re-Thinking: examples (4)

1.
2.
3.
Women’s Magazines -Images of Beautiful and liberated women; lead the
fashion trends
Women are controlled by male gaze;
Bazaar and Marie Claire as examples
1. Images –Cover, Ads
2. Articles -- how to be pretty, sexy, fashion, and even
liberated are still the main concerns.
3. Beauty myth –relevance?
4.
Women get less and less space to develop their
own value and self-identity.
Re-Thinking: examples (4)




Women’s Magazines –All about women’s
images?
Kinds – “女性樣本較常閱讀的雜誌內容，前十
排名分別為：1名星/影劇娛樂、2休閒/旅遊、3
健康/醫療、4服飾/美容、5社會新聞、6消費/美
食指南、7烹飪/食譜、8兩性報導/婚姻、9財經/
理財/股市、10小說散文。(source)
E.g. Elle -- 時尚、美容、健康美容、性愛、職場
算命、生活休閒。
儂儂 －－ Fashion & Accessory 、 Beauty、
Lifestyle、 別冊
Re-Thinking: examples (4)


Women’s Magazines –All about women’s
images?
How do we prove that they are misleading:
–
–

Quantity and kinds of stereotypical images;
Text analysis of articles
Solution?
Re-Thinking: example (5)

Your own example
Re-Thinking: example (6)

Your own example
Restructuring
1.
Reworking, reshaping; changing how a
piece says it or changing its "muscle."
-- How is your essay presented? And for
whom?
-- Do you need a new introduction? A
better conclusion? Are the ideas logically
and interestingly presented? Do you need
more concrete details (description,
dialogue, ) or examples?
Restructuring: examples
the government is supposed to pay more attention to
this issue because the problems of cross-cultural
marriage indeed would cause social events,
domestic problems, and public security
problems.
1.
Lowly educated men or mentally retarded  the
wives disadvantaged;
2.
Elderly;  young and easy to control
3.
Veterans
4.
Agents: Prostitution in reality or disregarding
the brides’ rights;
5.
Problems in adjustment
Restructuring: examples
cross-cultural marriage  cause social and domestic
problems.
1.
Kinds
1.
2.
3.
4.
2.
3.
Electronic engineers – not the focus;
Agents: Prostitution in reality or disregarding the
brides’ rights; – not the focus;
Lowly educated men or mentally retarded  the
wives disadvantaged;
Elderly & Veterans ;  age difference
Problems -- adjustment, discrimination and
exploitation
Solutions – lessons, education of the public,
revision of laws, social workers
Restructuring: examples (3)



Your example
Of being caught stealing –start with a present
dialogue with your mother
Of two different kinds of car rides – juxtaposition
of each moment, but not two episodes?
Copyediting
1.
Copyediting or proofreading for mechanics
and usage; checking for deviations from
standard conventions or changing the
writing's "skin."
-- Is your language correct and effective?
-- Are there run-on sentences and
problematic sentence
constructions? Can sentences be
combined in a better way? Are there
other types of grammatic errors and
usage problems? Are there typos?
more creative types of revision
1.
2.
3.
Narrative: changing the point of
view; focusing on just one of the moments,
giving a different ending.
Expository essays: Change the tone of your
argument (e.g. from serious to comic or
ironic); add a story or some creative writing to
your piece.
Mixing or changing rhetoric modes: turn
your expository essay into a fiction with the
same point; do a collage of argumentation and
fictive writings; add in pictures and other
visual materials.
Procedure:
Get a partner (not limited to your section)
2. Two pairs form a group (or three)
3. Paper –(D) research paper or (C) a paper
from the past two years
4. The partner is supposed to give written
response to both the plan (rethinking,
reshaping) and one draft (reshaping and
copy-editing).
1.
Requirements: (1)
1.
Step by Step and each stage takes one
week:
1. Today -- first stage: talk about your ideas
with your groupmates (in person or via email);
2. Before this Friday -- after the first stage, write
up an outline, and your plan for revision for
your partner and teacher to respond to;
3. Writing journal: keep a writing journal to
record what you feel at each stage and
examine if you are capable of doing revision
with the help of peer comments.
Requirements: (2)
1.
End product:
1. an essay with a cover
sheet.
2. Writing journal– one
entry of your third
journal;
3. Peer comments as you
go through the three
stages.
Cover sheet:

What the paper is about and
how it is presented

Acknowledgement of help
received.

Due dates:
A note to group mates or teachers
on your chosen paper. The
end of this week.
Draft+outline+plan -- 5/6;
2nd draft – D-5/11 - C –5/18
Third:6/1 (some may need further
revision)
Requirements: (3)
Journal wks 11-16
1.
Research paper observation –
1 entry
2.
Revision Peer Response to
revision – 2 entries
3.
Revision Journal – 1 entry
with 3 parts
4.
Electronic journal on Issues
and Interest – 2 entries