A Drop of Poetry STUDENT A Drop of Poetry STUDENT White Humanities March 15, 2010 Checklist Poem Topics EQ 1 ballad EQ 2 EQ 3 acrostic Poetry Slam X X free choice Poetry Slam Free choice X cinquain free choice CCB X limerick Poem Types EQ 4 X X X Fearful Felony is avoided, thus avoiding hell Events are held daily to honor saints and Christianity Attend mass often Resignedly comply to orders Feign agreement to avoid punishment Unadulterated loyalty Ludicrous ideas not put forward EQ1 Acrostic Reflection: The rules of an acrostic is that you take one word and write it vertically, and that word becomes your topic. The lines consisting of words or phrases that you write describe the topic. Each line has to start with the corresponding letter of the topic. Through this poem, I wanted to give the reader a feeling of complexity, so I decided to use words that aren’t used as often in everyday language. For example, I used the word “felony” instead of crime because felony is the technical term whereas crime is a word that someone would use in a casual conversation. I also used the word “resignedly” because not very often do you hear that word being said. I’ve only came across the word resignedly a couple of times. “Unadulterated” is also a fairly complex word that really helps to show the meaning that I wanted to express. The word “unadulterated” just rolls on your tongue in a way that seems confusing and hard to pronounce. I used an acrostic to write about how fear affects people’s answers because I think that when someone is in fear, they don’t have the time or the care to create sentences with conjunctions that help to make their ideas flow. That’s the same with and acrostic. There aren’t any conjunctions in an acrostic, it’s just choppy words or phrases that describe the topic. Perfect, STUDENT. You nailed the EQ answer and the Middle Ages connection. Well done. Feudalism Serf, Bound to the land, Giving crops to those who demand, Just living by the system. Knight, A manor he is the owner, When war comes he’s a goner, Just living by the system. Baron, Dressing in fancy garments, Guiding the king through every moment, Just living by the system. King, Possesses all power, Nobles he shall empower, Just living by the system. EQ2 Ballad Reflection: The first rule for writing a ballad is that it has to tell a story. All the stanzas in a ballad are quatrains with a predictable rhyme scheme. The rhyme scheme can vary amongst stanza to stanza, but the variation still has to be a pattern. Lastly, ballads have a part of it that repeats over and over again. I chose to make the line “Just living by the system” repeat because that was what people in the Middle Ages did. Nobody really questioned things, they lived simply to what was expected of their class. Anyone who questioned “Why?” were laughed at and probably scolded or hit for being so stubborn. I chose the word “empower” in the line “Nobles he shall empower”, because the king has the power to instill power in others, the definition of empowerment. Plus, having the word “power” show up again in the word empower really helps to emphasize to the great amount of power the king possessed. Through this poem, I wanted to let the reader know what social roles did people play in life in the Middle Ages. The style of how a ballad consists of quatrains is a good format for explaining the social roles of each social class. Each social class’s roles can be summarized in every quatrain, leaving the reader with a very clear idea of what the role of each social class was. I like the setup. It’s a smart way to cover everything. I think the word choice could have been better. Your rhymes are too easy and not that close of rhymes either. The Church’s Impact Cloths depicting Holy scenes Hanukkah practitioners are shunned as devils Uptight rules to avoid sinning Reaching for God in times of trouble Courtesy consists of saying grace Happiness deprived during Lent EQ3 Free Choice Reflection: The rules of an acrostic is that you take one word and write it vertically, and that word becomes your topic. The lines consisting of words or phrases that you write describe the topic. Each line has to start with the corresponding letter of the topic. Through this poem, I wanted the reader to have the feeling that they were just stepping into the shoes of a Christian, so I decided to use words wit meanings related to Christianity. For example, the word “Holy” is used because God is often described as the Holy God, thus connecting the word “Holy” with Christianity. I also used the word “grace” because almost all Christians take a moment to say grace before a meal and thank God for giving them food. I also referred to the Christian holiday Lent, which is very bluntly connected with Christianity. I used an acrostic to write about how a religious group impacts a society because the way you can answer this poem is in a list of examples, which is exactly what you can do with an acrostic poem. While writing this poem, I used many examples shown in the book Catherine, Called Birdy because in that book, the characters were quiet willing to let their religion run their lives. You have told me what people did. How did what they did affect and set the path for life in the Middle Ages? Fight for Power There once was a young, brave knight, Who yearned and lusted for a fight. He went here and there, And fought on his mare, Thus gave everyone a big fright. The men saw him as a great threat, So punched and battled up a sweat. As people picked sides, Society died, Left them in a state of regret. Reflection: EQ4 Limerick The very first rule for a limerick is that it has to tell a story, and it’s often funny. The first, second, and fifth lines in a limerick have to rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines have to rhyme with each other. As tempting as it is, you cannot make internal rhymes in a limerick. One of the most important rules of a limerick is that it has to follow the correct rhythm. Lines one, two, and five have to follow the stress pattern da-DAda-da-DA-da-da-DA. Lines three and four have to follow the stress pattern da-Da-da-da-DA. Lines one, two, and five may have seven to ten syllables each, and lines three and four may have five to seven syllables each. The first line introduces the character and the setting. The second line establishes the main character’s situation. Lines three and four show how the situation went out of control, and line five resolves the story and brings it to a close. By writing this poem, I wanted the reader to have a good idea that the setting was in the Middle Ages and how a simple piece of greed could tear down an entire society. I used some words that are linked with the Middle Ages such as “knight” and “mare”. I wrote the line “He went here and there” to signify that the knight rode from one shire to another quiet easily, because back then there was no immigration to go through. I used the line “So punched and battled up a sweat”, because it gives you an idea of how it started out as punches and small battles in a bar and then turned into a massive war. I ended the poem with the word “regret” because that’s a pretty powerful word that brings many different personal examples of regret to a reader, so I think that’s a good way to wrap up the poem. I used a limerick to write about what can cause a society or civilization to regress because that question can be answered in an example which can be elaborated into a story, which is what a limerick does. Plus, the example that I thought of was a silly thing to do in the knight’s place, which is the type of thing a limerick is used to write about. Limericks, personally, remind me of the type of poems and songs that medieval minstrels would perform. Thus I used a limericks, which reminded me of the Middle Ages. Well done. When you do it right, you really do it right. This is masterfully written. I appreciate all the thought that goes into your writing. Aelis CCB Cinquain Aelis, Poised and cultured. Living with a young duke, But smitten with handsome, suave George. Forlorn. Reflection: A cinquain is a poem with five lines. The first line has two syllables and states the poem’s topic. Line two has four syllables and describes the topic. The third line has six syllables and expresses an action. Line four has eight syllables and expresses feeling. Lastly, line five has two syllables and describes the topic again. I chose the words “poised” and “cultured” to describe Aelis because that’s what everyone perceives her as, and that’s what she is most of the time. I wouldn’t use words like “rebellious” and “free” to describe Aelis because she’s quiet willing to bend with society, she just likes to enjoy certain moments of freedom. I used the word “smitten” to describe her feelings towards George, because Aelis was really keen on having a future with George the moment she met him. George, to Aelis, is the dream man, handsome and suave. However, when Aelis was ordered to marry a young duke and George was betrothed to the widow Ethelfritha, Aelis was feeling quite forlorn, wishing that she could be wed to George instead of a duke that was still in the care of his mother. I chose a cinquain to describe Aelis because she is quite full of emotions, and a cinquain is a nice, concise way of describing all those emotions that are swimming around in her head. When I think of Aelis, I just have to sigh in sympathy. She’s in quiet a difficult situation, but she manages to straighten her life together in the end. I like the unique choice. I can honestly say that no one else wrote about Aelis. Nice portrayal of a minor character. Excellent word choice. Winter Wonderland Free Verse: Free Choice Icicle. Water beads, Falling, Falling. A land of blue, Like a cold heart, Like a clear sky. Cold, Oh so cold. My breath, An innocent cloud floating in front of my face, Dancing, Twirling. Another type of nature, No warmth, No birds chirping, No breeze, Just angry gales. Frostbite, Snow, Ice, Loneliness, Perfection. Paradox? I think not. For me, This is wonderful. This is, Peace. Reflection: There’s quiet a bit of liberty in a free verse poem. There isn’t a requirement about rhyming, although you can rhyme if desired, and there isn’t a specific rhythm. Similarly, there isn’t a specific syllable count for each line, and you only need at least five lines. However, the one thing that is concrete is that you are expressing feelings and emotions, not a story. In this poem, I chose words that reminded me of the cold. Whenever I think of the cold, I think of icicles, water beads dripping down the icicle, snow, ice, frostbite, loneliness, fog from my breath, and angry gales. I used these words in my poem in hope that it will give them the same kind of feeling, coldness. However, I gave the poem a twist by saying that I liked the cold and the loneliness. To express this point, I used the word “paradox”, because this word is quiet confusing and frustrating to me and that’s a feeling most people get when they’re in a snowy environment with little or no people nearby. I used a free verse poem to write about the cold, because I couldn’t think of any other way to express the cold. A limerick was too upbeat, I don’t think poems about the cold should rhyme, ruling out any rhyming poems, so I stuck to a free verse poem where I had the freedom to create a format for my poem that would be suitable. Your best writing comes when you are free to express whatever you want to express. That doesn’t mean your mandatory poems aren’t great, it’s just that your free poems are exemplary. Taking Advantage Poetry Slam It’s raining. I watch the raindrops trickle down the shop window, Dancing, Twirling, Tantalizing. A boy walks in, Sporting a grin. “Gummy bears?” He asks innocently. I point towards the back shelf. “Go help yourself.” I narrow my eyes at him, As he touches the jar’s shiny rim, And sticks his slimy, sticky, snot-covered hand into the jar. A sight I find quite bizarre, For he is the mayor’s son, And probably pampered quite a ton. Ah well, I think. It’s no crime, To be covered in slime. That was before he gave me a dime, Not two, Just one. And looks at me, Like I should excuse him this one time. I decided to just relax, For he could bring up my tax. And I could not risk that, So I just told him to scat. The next day he came, Determined to play the same game. And I did not exclaim, But played along with shame. This happened, Again, And again, And again. But one day I felt empowered, And decided to stop this act most call absurd. It was raining. I watched the raindrops trickle down the shop window, Dancing, Twirling, Tantalizing. The boy walks in, And reaches into the bin, And places one dime on the counter, Leaving me feeling quite bitter. “One dime is going to get you half a handful.” I stated. He stared at me blankly, Wondering why I was suddenly angry. “Look, this has got to stop, so please get out of my shop.” He ran out, I finally won a bout! The sun was shining, And the birds were chirping, I chewed on some candy, And didn’t feel any pity, For the boy was staring at me. Looking at me gloat, And gloat, And gloat. Reflection: A SLAM poem is a free verse poem. In a SLAM poem, there’s an element that is repeated that lets the reader come back to the same central focus. The entire SLAM poem is never completely rhyming, however rhymes are used to direct the audience to a particular idea or theme. Alliteration and repetition is used in the same way. A SLAM poem is written about something you’re passionate about and has a certain stress factor. However in the end of the poem, hope is provided. I used the words “slimy”, “sticky”, and “snot-covered” to describe the boy’s hand because I wanted to emphasize the fact that it was disgusting, so I used alliteration. I used the word “exclaim” in the line “I did not exclaim”, because that shows that I did not scream or yell at him for trying the same thing again, but I “played along with shame”. I used the word “scat” instead of “go away” because it is a much more powerful word and really shows that I was annoyed and wanted the boy to go away but didn’t want to scream at him completely. Some people may be confused when they read my poem. “You never owned a candy shop!” they might comment. However, this poem was written completely in a metaphor. The idea that I was writing about was people taking advantage of me. By nature I like to share what I have with other people, but there’s a point when I get annoyed when people use me. That’s when they do it too often. I get even more annoyed when they don’t repay me in any way. This was symbolized with the boy paying me one dime instead of two and looks at me like I should excuse him that one time. The sad thing is, I find it hard to say “no”, and this often causes me to carry a much bigger burden. This concept was symbolized by “The next day he came,/ determined to play the same game./ and I did not exclaim,/ but played along with shame.” However, in the cases where I do manage to say “no”, I always feel liberated and free. This was symbolized in the last stanza. I like the imagery and sensory language in this poem. Your performance was great, too. The metaphor goes on a little too long. I think it’s easy for people to miss the point because of the story line obscuring the message. Rubric Organization 3/9/2011 2:49:00 AM Apprentice Journeyman Master (90- (70-79) (80-89) 100) *still unsure of poem structure *followed almost all of the rules of the poem *followed the rules of the poems *does not have a good understanding of the essential questions *has a good understanding of the essential questions *poems written *has a thorough understand of the essential questions *poems *poems hastily put together or written with very little/no references to the Middle Ages with some thought with some references to the Middle Ages thoughtfully written with clear references to the Middle Ages *very little thought given to word choice *used the same *most words were well chosen, clear and accurate *words well chosen, clear, visual, and accurate words over and over again *used tired out clichés or phrases *words and phrases so vivid the reader won’t soon forget them *little evidence of editing for spelling, capitalization, punctuation *some evidence of editing for spelling, capitalization, punctuation *thorough editing for spelling, capitalization, punctuation 99 Ideas 94 Word Choice 98 Conventions 98 STUDENT, your portfolio includes some of the best ones in the grade. Still, there are a couple that don’t work perfectly. Again, I appreciate the thought and work you put into this portfolio. The quality shows. FINAL GRADE – 97%