Avoiding Self-Serving Protective
Motives
January 10, 2014
Gregory Sowles,PhD, HSPP, LMHC
CornerstoneVision Counseling & Psychological
Services, PC
Fort Wayne, IN 46825
Info@corvision.org 1-260-387-6340
u
Avoiding Self-Serving Protective Motives = Submitted
Service
Goals: Be able to…
• Identify where there could be unintentional
violations of ethical care.
• Recognize that the most ethical care process
matches the integration of spiritual values –
believing and investing in their ability to heal.
• Provide optimal integration –
through growing an awareness that maintains
the practice of honoring the client as we too
would want to be honored.
1/10/2014
Gregory Sowles, PhD, HSPP, LMHC
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Avoiding Self-Serving Protective Motives = Submitted
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Our Therapeutic ‘Heart’ Challenge:
‘Living in Galatia’
 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I
trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would
not be a servant of Christ.”Gal. 1:10 NIV
 “But now that you know God-or rather are known by God-how
is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable
principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?”
Gal. 4:9 NIV
 “It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be
so always …” Gal. 4:18 NIV
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“…‘Heart’ Challenge” con’t:
Gal. 6:1-5
V.1.“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should
restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.“(Do we
break the ethical codes or Biblical Commandments?)
(vs. Engage through the Lord with a carefulness and cautiousness)
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of
Christ. (Are we being aware of what our recommended treatment
strategies will mean in each client’s life?)
V.2.
If anyone thinks his a something when he is nothing he deceives himself.
(Are we the ultimate source or is the Holy Spirit?)
V.3.
Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself,
without comparing himself to somebody else,
V.5. for each one should carry his own load. (Do we rejoice with clients and
celebrate their victories or do we take credit for their successes?)
V.4.
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Manipulations are in the Air…
We can get baited by sin
effects in others lives.
For Example: Wounded individuals can get to be
‘Needy,’ ‘Dependent’ or ‘Controlling’. We can get
reactive to these Personality Traits or Disorders as we
have contact with them. Trying “to minister” or
“disciple,” when these established defenses are in
place, can in turn result in our too getting defensive
(transference) as we attempt to keep from getting
‘sucked-in’ while also trying to draw them out.
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Manipulations… (con’t):
Repeated exposures to these struggles in
others can set us up to develop our own type
of survival strategies. Trying to keep up can
turn into developing our own self-serving/selfprotective strategies and emotional isolation.
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APA Survey 2/2013- Healthcare System failing
at Stressor Management:
Ouch!




35% of Americans say their stress has increased
Millenials (18-33) say they struggle the most (5.4/10pt)
49% Don’t believe healthcare providers do enough
Only 23% believe their providers are supportive “a lot or a great
deal”
 25% of the Chronically Ill group say they get a “Great deal of
help,” and they claim they do much better than those who
don’t receive such help.
‘Moral of the Story’: Survival and/or Better health
comes with engaging and sincere help, worse illness
without it.
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Gregory Sowles, PhD, HSPP, LMHC
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Tasking vs. Relating
Note: as we have seen, emotional and/or relational
isolation can leave us vulnerable to sin effects/illnesses.
• The subtlety of serving can get turned
into a focus on the subject/’illness identity’
to the loss of personal/interpersonal intimacy.
• We can lose personal, shared/empathic
conversations with others while we ‘work’ at
the task of fixing their problems.
• The result of being so busy “doing ministry”
for (to) others can result in our getting “ burnt-out”.
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• ‘Plank and Speck’
• Beware of the Plank and Speck
Syndrome… Matt. 7:3-5 Are you into:
Debating
Posturing
Playing-off Goofs
Hiding Mistakes
Avoiding Answers
(white)Lying
Sarcastic Jabs or Humor
Distracting to another subject
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Keeping “the Horse before the Cart”:
”…by grace you are saved through faith,…not by
works, so that no one can boast…created to do
good works…which God prepared…”(Eph. 2:8-10)
Disciplines or rituals we employ can be “works”
traps through our being ‘in charge’. Vs. Christ Jesus
being in charge (of us: our care-giving, needs,
wants, will, ambitions, desires, mind, body, heart,
spirit). (Mk 12:30-31)
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Gregory Sowles, PhD, HSPP, LMHC
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“…Horse…Cart” con’t:
Working at a discipline, like an exercise routine,
community services, a diet regime, set prayers, a
bible study devotional, researching for clinical care
interventions, or even attending CEU trainings can
keep us from really looking at what is at work
during those disciplines – habits, rituals, etc.
Note: even while I was working on this material I was being pulled
back and forth by the tension of being with the family or doing the
discipline to stay at the commitment to finish it.
Paradox: Works can create Isolation!
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Discussion Focus:
1. What are you protecting?
A. How do you put up “blocks” to personal
intimacy while serving others?
B. Where do you have “works”/“taskings” that
can tend to end up then isolating you?
C. What does this do to your “witness” if you’re
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2. Who would you identify as your “chargers”—
those people you need regular time with to be
re-filled after getting drained by service/ministry?
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3. How can therapists add “pauses”: to create
accountabilities that can then help us
monitor
our sense of interpersonal connectedness?
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