George Stainko
Mrs. Baldinger
COMM 102-01
26 March 2012
Self Esteem
Many people wonder why self-esteem is important. The fact is that it is simply the
underlying quality for achieving anything in life. Without self-esteem how would someone
overcome obstacles, challenges, or problems? In all areas of life self-esteem is needed: financial,
mental, social, relational, emotional, and spiritual. Many people see the true value of self-esteem
when they do not feel they have it or when they see it in others the way they desire to feel about
themselves. Self-esteem is the part of the self-concept that involves an individual’s evaluations
of his or her self-worth.1 With self-esteem, self-concept is the relatively stable set of perceptions
each individual holds of himself or herself.2 Being discussed will be how these two concepts are
related to one another in-depth. Also being discussed is the causes of having low and high selfesteem, how football players get high self-esteem, why it is necessary to have high self-esteem,
and how to build self-esteem.
The two concepts, self-esteem and self-concept, are intertwined with the actions
that people rub off to others. A hypothetical communicator’s self-concept might include being
quiet, argumentative, or self-controlled.3 If someone is feeling any of these three ways, their
self-esteem with totally be different from each other. In other words, a person’s self-esteem
1
Ronald B. Adler, and Russell F. Proctor, Looking Out/looking in (Australia:
Wadsworth/Cengage Learning, 2011) 448.
2
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 448.
3
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 41.
would be determined by how he or she felt about these qualities.4 Say the person is being quiet,
they would think to themselves that, “I’m a coward for not speaking up”, versus “I enjoy
listening more than talking.”5 It is almost like the persons mood has change, but in reality it is
their self-esteem. The same concept with being argumentative and self-controlled goes hand and
hand. If you are being argumentative you could feel either, “I’m pushy, and that’s obnoxious”,
versus “I stand up for my beliefs.”6 The same deal with being self-controlled, one could think,
“I’m too cautious”, versus “I think carefully before I say or do things.”7
Various teenagers and adults are in search of gaining high self-esteem. There are
numerous causes of why someone has high or low self-esteem. Here listed are seven reasons
that cause a person to have high self-esteem: they are likely to think well of others, they expect
to be accepted by others, they evaluate their own performance more favorably then people with
low self-esteem, they perform well when being watched, they work harder for people who
demand high standards of performance, they are inclined to feel comfortable with others they
view as superior in some way, and lastly they are able to defend themselves against negative
comments of others.8 Having high self-esteem gets one into a positive cycle, which will help a
person maintain their high self-esteem. This cycle of one’s high self-esteem has four main parts:
having a high self-esteem, gaining positive thoughts such as “I can do it”, having a desirable
behavior, and ending with more positive thoughts such as “I did well”. 9 The way someone gets
low self-esteem is by having the exact opposite ideas of high self-esteem. Children with low
4
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 41.
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 42.
6
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 42.
7
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 42.
8
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 42.
9
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 43.
5
self-esteem are those who often say, “I can’t.”10 Having a low self-esteem can really take a hit
on a person. People with low self-esteem immerse themselves in self destructive behavior.11
Failure is a rough path to go through if you have been having a high self-esteem, but people with
a low self-esteem may actually feel more comfortable in failure than in success, because of the
familiarity of failure.12 This is almost always the case in sporting events. The teams with a great
record usually have a high self-esteem that has built up from winning countless games. This
build up from winning will make more of an impact when the team losses then a team that
consistently loses and has no self-esteem. The team losing all the time is very familiar with it, so
they would feel more comfortable with losing. Having low self-esteem can be seen by thinking
or having any of these seven qualities: likely to disapprove of others, expect to be rejected by
others, evaluate their own performance less favorably than people with high self-esteem, perform
poorly when being watched; sensitive to possible negative reaction, work harder for
undemanding, feel threatened by people they view as superior in some way, and finally those
that have difficulty defending themselves against others’ negative comments.13 These seven
qualities make up a negative cycle that a person uses when they are feeling negative. The low
self-esteem cycle, similar to the high self-esteem cycle, has four parts: Low self-esteem, then
carrying over to negative thoughts such as, “I can’t do this”, followed by undesirable behavior,
and finished with more negative thoughts such as, “I failed again.”14 When someone starts
having low self-esteem they tend to lead down the wrong path in life. This path can lead people
10
John Kelly, and Brain J. Karem, Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents: How to Read the
Early Signals of Low Self-esteem, Addiction, and Hidden Violence in Your Kids (Washington, D.C.:
Lifeline, 2002) 34.
11
John, and Brain, Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents, 35.
12
John, and Brain, Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents, 34.
13
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 43.
14
Ronald, and Russell, Looking Out/looking in, 43.
to self-destructive abuse or addiction, but before they get there, often there is another factor, a
traveling companion with low self-esteem: anger.15
Weight control can play a big part in people’s self-esteem, girls especially. As soon as
someone is not happy with their personal body weight or appearance usually they become down
on their own self and lose self-esteem. One of the most obvious ways that football can boost
self-esteem is by helping you lose excess weight or maintain a healthy weight.16 Getting there
helps your mental state. Exercise helps improve the state of your mental health, allowing you to
view yourself more clearly and helping to boost your self-esteem.17 Alone with yourself, your
teammates will be next to you doing the same exercise. In football and other team sports,
camaraderie is a big part of gaining that high self-esteem. Wearing team colors, attending every
game and receiving support and encouragement from other members of your team help create a
positive image of yourself and the way others feel about you.18 Another thing football requires is
skills. Not only in football, but every sport you need to have a certain set of skills to play. Many
athletes that play at a high level usually do not work at it, but instead are born with these skills.
When you build a skill set and you are good at something such as football, it makes you feel
good about yourself, improving your self-esteem.19
Many teenagers may ask why is self-esteem necessary? Many of them do not realize
how crucial it is during those teenager years to have a high self-esteem. It is necessary, because
positive self-esteem is the immune system of the spirit, helping an individual face life problems
15
John, and Brain, Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents, 45.
Lindsay Boyers, "How Does Football Boost Self-Esteem," Jan 13, 2012,
<http://www.livestrong.com/article/553368-how-does-football-boost-self-esteem/> (accessed March 20,
2012).
17
Lindsay Boyers, “How Does Football Boost Self-Esteem”
18
Lindsay Boyers, “How Does Football Boost Self-Esteem”
19
Lindsay Boyers, “How Does Football Boost Self-Esteem”
16
bounce back from adversity.20 After a teenager realizes that it is necessary to have high selfesteem, their next question would ask how to build a high self-esteem. The process to building is
easy, but the work put into it is hard. The main concept to building self-esteem is by the
experience of success.21 This sounds way easier than it is to do, but once a person is having
success doing something then they receive confidence. Building this leads evenaly to a high
self-esteem. Stacey Chillemi, an H.O.P.E. mentor, believes that developing high self-esteem is
just like learning to read or dance.22 She believes that there are four main qualities to building a
high self-esteem: strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge.23
In conclusion, self-esteem is one of most important keys in a person’s life. Without
having a high self-esteem or one at all will already put yourself in a hole and make you think low
of yourself. Self-esteem is what makes you live a well life and have a successful career. As a
teenager it is the most important to build up ones self-esteem and maintain it in the long road of
life. Having high self-esteem at an early age will lead that person down the right road and bring
good things instead of the wrong path that intertwist with low self-esteem. The future for a
young person can easily be determined for weather what type of self-esteem they had growing
up. What type of self-esteem you have is what will shape a person into an adult and will usually
last that way. Having a high self-esteem will get one step closer to the ultimate goal in life,
which is the pursuit of happiness.
Ken Chisholm, “Self-esteem,” Aug 11, 2011, < http://www.livestrong.com/article/13925-selfesteem/> (accessed March 20, 2012).
21
Ken Chisholm, “Self-esteem”
22
Stacey Chillemi, “DEVELOPING HIGH SELF ESTEEM,” <
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Chillemi1.html> (accessed March 20, 2012).
23
Stacey Chillemi, “DEVELOPING HIGH SELF ESTEEM”
20
Bibliography
Adler, Ronald B., and Russell F. Proctor. Looking Out/looking in. Australia:
Wadsworth/Cengage Learning, 2011. Print.
Kelly, John, and Brian J. Karem. Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents : How to Read the
Early Signals of Low Self-esteem, Addiction, and Hidden Violence in Your Kids.
Washington, D.C.: Lifeline, 2002. Print.
Chrisholm, Ken. "Self-Esteem." LIVESTRONG.COM. Livestrong.com, 11 Aug. 2011. Web. 20
Mar. 2012. <http://www.livestrong.com/article/13925-self-esteem/>.
Boyers, Lindsay. "How Does Football Boost Self-Esteem?" LIVESTRONG.COM.
Livestrong.com, 13 Jan. 2012. Web. 20 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.livestrong.com/article/553368-how-does-football-boost-self-esteem/>.
Chillemi, Stacey. "DEVELOPING HIGH SELF ESTEEM." Self Improvement from
SelfGrowth.com. Selfgrowth.com. Web. 20 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Chillemi1.html>.