Emotional Intelligence
Bob Cole
American Student Assistance
Background
 E.L. Thorndike – Behavior explained by reflexes
 1970s Human Potential Movement
 1985 Reuven Bar-On Defines EQ
– “Are there factors that determine one’s ability to be effective
in life?”
 1995 Time Magazine – Daniel Goleman
What is Emotional Intelligence?
 Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to understand
their own emotions, the emotions of others, and to act
appropriately using these emotions.
 Emotional intelligence never stops growing. Because
we are always evolving as people, EQ is something that
must be nurtured.
How IQ Differs
 IQ
–
–
–
–
Measure of an individual’s personal information bank
Memory, vocabulary and visual motor skills
IQ is set and peaks at age 17
Remains constant through adulthood
EI Model
Intrapersonal
Interpersonal
Knowing and managing People skills – the ability
yourself
to interact and get along
with others
Stress Management
Ability to tolerate stress
and control impulses
Adaptability
Ability to be flexible and
realistic, to solve a
range of problems as
they arise
Intrapersonal
 Self-Awareness – the ability to recognize how you’re
feeling and why you’re feeling that way and the impact
your behavior has on others
 Assertiveness – the ability to clearly express your
thoughts and feelings, stand your ground and defend a
position
 Independence – the ability to be self-directed and self-
controlled, to stand on your own two feet
Intrapersonal, cont.
 Self-Regard – the ability to recognize your strengths
and weaknesses and to feel good about yourself
despite your weaknesses
 Self-Actualization – the ability to realize your potential
and feel comfortable with what you achieve at work and
in your personal life
Interpersonal
 Empathy – the ability to understand what others might be feeling
or thinking, viewing the world through another person’s eyes
 Social Responsibility – the ability to be a cooperative and
contributing of your social group
 Interpersonal Relationships – the ability to forge and maintain
relationships that are mutually beneficial and marked by give and
take and a sense of emotional closeness
Adaptability
 Reality Testing – the ability to see things as they actually are,
rather than the way you wish or fear they might be
 Flexibility – the ability to adjust your feelings, thoughts, and
actions to changing conditions
 Problem Solving – the ability to define problems, then move to
generate and implement effective, appropriate solutions
Stress Management
 Stress Tolerance – the ability to remain calm and focused, to
constructively withstand adverse events and conflicting emotions
without caving in
 Impulse Control – the ability to resist or delay a temptation to act
–
Tale of the Marshmallow
EI Model
Intrapersonal
Interpersonal
Knowing and managing People skills – the ability
yourself
to interact and get along
with others
Stress Management
Ability to tolerate stress
and control impulses
Adaptability
Ability to be flexible and
realistic, to solve a
range of problems as
they arise
General Mood
General Mood
 Optimism – the ability to
 Happiness – the ability to
maintain a realistically
positive attitude,
particularly in the face of
adversity
feel satisfied with life, to
enjoy yourself and
others, and to
experience zest and
enthusiasm in a range of
activities
ABCDE – Resolving Emotional
Conflicts
A
B
2. Write down 3. Internal
the
dialogue or
trigger
self-talk
C
1. Unpleasant
feelings and
behaviors that
accompanied
them
D
4. Debate,
dispute, and
discard the
beliefs in C
E
5. Write down
the effect of
filling in D, and
how your
beliefs have
shifted
EQ Value
 Creativity
 Stress Management
 Decision Making
 Relationship Building
 Can be enhanced
 What else is important to you?
High/Low
Stephen King
Cher
President
George Bush
Helen Keller
Shannon
O’Brien
Scarlett O’Hara Rudolph
Giuliani
Cosmo Kramer George
Costanza
Winona Ryder
Frasier Crane,
PhD
Michael Jordan President
Bartlet, The
West Wing
Oprah Winfrey
Britney Spears
Harry Potter
Additional Resources
 The EQ Edge, Steven J. Stein, PhD and
Howard E. Book, MD: Stoddard, 2000
 Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman