Writing Paragraphs
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING FOR PARAGRAPH UNITY
• Read the following paragraph carefully.
• Find the main idea, state it in a single sentence
(topic sentence).
• Revise the paragraph to support that idea.
• Omit irrelevant details.
• Rearrange and condense material as
necessary.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #1
Now 97, Margaret Prescott remembers that the friends she made in her
childhood were people who lived within two or three blocks of her
house, and that was it. Today, we visit people who live 10-100 miles
from where we are located on a daily basis with no problem. She
remembers when McKinley was shot in the third grade; the newsboys
who ran through the streets shouting “Extra! Extra! Extra!” she went to
Mt Holyoke College in south Hadley, Massachusetts. Getting to the
college was a chore: “To get to South Hadley you had to get yourself to
Boston by train, transfer stations, catch the train for Springfield, take a
trolley car to the nearest town, which was Holyoke, and then get from
there to South Hadley by horse and wagon and unload your bags.
Once you were there you were lucky if you got to go home for
Thanksgiving.” Her husband worked for a family-owned firm which was
a blacksmith shop. They made steel rims which would go around
wooden spoked wheels on horse-drawn carriages and some other
various parts. Then, as cars came with time, they made custom parts
and did interior work. The first car they ever had was made by Ford and
was called a “Falcon Night”; it was made in 1919 and had fold-out
rumble seats in the back.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISED FOR UNITY
Listening to Margaret Prescott, 97, it becomes apparent that she lived
through the evolution of transportation in America. Although we think
nothing of visiting people who live 100 miles away, she remembers that
in her childhood, the only friends her family made lived within two or
three blocks of her house, and that was it. Later, when she went to
college (Mt. Holyoke, South Hadley, Massachusetts) she found getting
there a chore: “To get to South Hadley you had to get yourself to
Boston by train, transfer stations, catch the train for Springfield, take a
trolley car to the nearest town, which was Holyoke, and then get from
there to South Hadley by horse and wagon and unload your bags.
Once you were there you were lucky if you got to go home for
Thanksgiving.” When she married, her husband worked for a familyowned blacksmith shop which made steel rims for the wooden-spoked
wheels on horse-drawn carriages. When cars came, the shop switched
to custom parts and interior work. The first car she and her husband
ever had was a “Falcon Night,” made by Ford in 1919; it came
complete with fold-out rumble seats in back.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING FOR COHERENT SPATIAL
ARRANGEMENT
• Descriptions are easier to follow when
organized according to a coherent spatial order:
top to bottom, left to right, inside to outside, and
so on.
• Revise the following paragraph.
• Place sentences in a coherent spatial
arrangement so your reader can stay located.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #2
Everything about the family home in Fairfield, Connecticut, reminds me
of my heritage. Its attributes include various steep swirling staircases, a
trap door, and several small compartments. The great stone wall
surrounding the house, with no mortar to hold the stones together, was
placed there by my ancestors. The cast-iron fireplaces have special
areas for baking bread. The massive front door has a character of its
own and breaks up the monotony of the thick windows. The uneven
floor consists of long wooden planks, sagging because the foundation
(the original) has settled unevenly. As a child, I loved to hide in the
secret compartments just as my grandmother must have. The high,
decorative ceiling creates a feeling of airiness. Above the door is an
elaborate stained-glass window shaped in a half-circle. The door’s two
sections open separately; the upper section sports an antique brass
eagle knocker. The stone wall, though authentic, also had a practical
purpose: the rocks were left behind by glaciers and the wall was a
convenient way to get rid of them.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISED FOR SPATIAL ARRANGEMENT
Everything about the family home in Fairfield, Connecticut, reminds me
of my heritage. The great stone wall surrounding the house, with no
mortar to hold the stones together, was placed there by my ancestors.
The wall, however picturesque, also served a practical purpose: it
made a convenient way to get rid of the rocks left behind by glaciers.
Looking beyond the wall to the house itself, one sees the monotony of
the thick windows broken up by an immense door with a character of its
own. Its two sections open separately; the upper section sports an
antique brass eagle knocker. Above the door is an elaborate stainedglass window shaped in a half-circle. Stepping inside the house one
immediately notices the floor of long, wooden planks whose
unevenness makes the house seem unbalanced. The foundation - the
original foundation - has settled unevenly. The cast-iron fireplaces have
special areas for baking bread. The high, decorative ceiling creates a
feeling of airiness. Other attributes include various steep swirling
staircases, a trap door, and several small compartments. As a child I
found these compartments a place of refuge - just as my grandmother
probably had.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING FOR COHERENCE: CLIMACTIC
ARRANGEMENT
• Paragraphs can often be made more coherent
and more emphatic by arranging details or
examples in order of increasing importance saving the best for last.
• Revise the following paragraph.
• Position the sentences and parts of sentences in
climactic order.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #3
Parents should spend more time providing their children
with guidance and assistance, as opposed to punishment
and criticism. Part of ensuring a child’s mental and physical
well-being is letting her know she is loved for what she is.
But parents all too often place conditions on their love.
Children learn to understand that they will be loved only if
they get good grades. A “B” grade may be all right, but we’ll
love you more if you get an “A.” As Kathie Durbin points out
in her article “Grappling with Grades,” children are an
investment in time. Knowing the child and her abilities and
limitations takes time and care. That means time spent just
talking about anything that’s important in the child’s eyes. It
means time spent together learning “for fun.” And it means
time at the library and at home reading together. These are
the things that can motivate a child, i.e., mold a child’s
positive attitude toward learning at an early age.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISED FOR CLIMACTIC ARRANGEMENT
Part of motivating a child is letting her know she is loved for
who she is. All too often parents place conditions on their
love: a “B” grade may be all right, but we’ll love you more if
you get an “A.” Children learn that they will be loved only if
they get good grades. As Kathie Durbin points out in her
article “Grappling with Grades,” children are an investment
in time. Knowing the child - abilities, limitations and all takes time and care: time at the library and at home
reading together, time spent together learning “for fun,”
time spent just talking about anything that’s important to the
child, time providing guidance and assistance as opposed
to punishment and criticism. These are the things that can
motivate a child to learn.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING PATTERNS OF DEVELOPMENT:
COMPARISON AND CONTRAST
• Comparison (which usually implies contrast) is a
strategy of development that allows you to
emphasize your point by inviting the reader to
see how it is like (or unlike) something he or she
is familiar with.
• Revise the following paragraph, strengthening
the point by introducing comparison to the roles
expected of boys.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #4
Sex role stereotyping begins in early infancy and
develops into outright discrimination by the age of
puberty. Right from birth, certain prejudices and
preconceptions are telegraphed to girls. Girl
babies are coddled and cooed over. Toys are also
chosen with specific connotations in mind. Girls
get Barbie dolls, tea sets, nurse’s kits, mini-stoves.
Later they go to ballet classes, piano lessons, and
bake brownies with mom. Girls are isolated at
home and learn to fear the world at large.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISED TO INTRODUCE COMPARISON
Sex role stereotyping begins in infancy and develops into
outright discrimination by the age of puberty. Right from
birth, boys and girls are treated differently; different
prejudices and preconceptions are telegraphed to them.
Boy babies are hoisted and roughhoused, girls are coddled
and cooed over. Toys are also chosen with specific
connotations in mind. Boys receive do-it-yourself kits,
chemistry labs, baseballs, model ships. Girls get Barbie
dolls, tea sets, nurse’s kits, mini-stoves. Later, boys ski,
camp and play football with dad. Girls go to ballet classes,
take piano lessons, and bake brownies with mom. Whereas
boys are taught about organization and are exposed to
social contacts, girls are isolated at home and learn to fear
the world at large.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING FOR DEVELOPMENT: CAUSE AND
EFFECT
• When you find yourself trying to explain why
something happened, or happens, you are
probably thinking about cause and effect
relationships.
• Recognizing that you are doing so may help you
to sharpen the focus of an otherwise sprawling
paragraph.
• Revise the following paragraph, emphasizing the
various causes of the American tendency to take
sports seriously.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #5
One might ask: why are people so serious about sports? The answers
to this question could be many. For one, people can release their
aggressions through sports. Kicking a ball, hitting it with a bat, punching
another man in the face can feel good for both participants and
spectators. Just think, one man can get in a boxing ring with another
and beat him up and it’s perfectly all right. All right, people love to see
it. They cheer them on, ”Yeah, Ali, get him on the left, the left. Ah, he’s
down, he’s down!” Some people make bets on the game. If they win,
great, but think of the risk people are willing to take on a boxing match
or a horse race. Sports can be healthy. It’s good exercise, and again a
good way to get out some aggressions, it’s legal, you can almost
always find someone else who wants to play. Sometimes I think sports
can be political. When judges announce the score in Olympic games,
why is it certain countries that are allies will give the same scores to a
country they are not friendly with? Americans are always more aware of
U.S. against U.S.S.R. than U.S. against Canada.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISED TO EMPHASIZE CAUSE AND EFFECT
Why do Americans take sports so seriously? No doubt,
there are many reasons. Sports are legal, for one, and they
provide good exercise. People can release their
aggressions through sports: kicking a ball, hitting it with a
bat, punching an opponent in the face. Those who do not
participate in sports themselves can indulge their
aggressive appetites vicariously. They cheer as one man
beats up another in the ring; they may become even more
involved by placing bets. When the Olympics roll around,
rooting for the home team may even take on political
overtones. Few get as excited watching the American team
play against Canada as they do when Russia is the
opponent. Even the judges reflect this partisanship, giving
higher scores to athletes from their allies’ countries. Why
take sports seriously? Because the nation’s pride is at
stake.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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INTRODUCTORY STRATEGIES: SOME
GUIDELINES FOR INTRODUCTORY
PARAGRAPHS
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Provide relevant background information.
Tell a brief interesting story or anecdote.
Give a pertinent statistic or statistics.
Ask one or more provocative questions.
Use an appropriate quotation.
Make a useful analogy.
Define a term used throughout the essay.
CAUTION: Don’t open with a dictionary
definition of a term your audience already
knows the meaning of - unless you intend to
disagree with the dictionary.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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AVOID THESE IN INTRODUCTORY
PARAGRAPHS
• Stating the obvious:
– “In this paper I will discuss the causes of
falling oil prices.”
– “My assignment is to discuss Hamlet’s
indecision.”
• Apologizing: “I’m not sure I’m right, but here is
my opinion.”
• Clichés: “Haste makes waste,” “War is hell,” etc.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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CONCLUDING STRATEGIES: SOME
GUIDELINES
• Use the devices suggested for introductory
paragraphs; avoid using the same device in the
introduction and the conclusion.
• Summarize the main points of the essay.
• Call for awareness and/or action.
• Point to the future.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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WHAT TO AVOID IN CONCLUDING
PARAGRAPHS
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Avoid going off track: Don’t introduce a new idea or
fact that belongs in the body of the essay.
Avoid rewording the introduction: If the two parts of
your essay are interchangeable, you need to revise.
Avoid announcing what you have done: e.g., “In this
paper I have tried to show the main causes for…”
Avoid making absolute claims: “This proves that…”
Use “This seems to prove that…”
Avoid logical fallacies: Conclusions are vulnerable to
errors in reasoning.
Avoid apologizing: This casts doubt on your material.
e.g. “Even though I am not an expert…” Be positive.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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HENRI ROUSSEAU’S SLEEPING GYPSY
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SPRINGBOARD FOR WRITING: DRAFTING
AND REVISING PARAGRAPHS
As you look at his striking image by the
French primitive painter, Henri Rousseau
(1844-1910), what is your first impression
about the mood or feeling the painting
conveys?
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PLANNING AND SHAPING
• Study the painting carefully.
• Quickly jot down a list of details from the
painting together with ideas about how those
details are related.
• Include the lighting, colors, shapes, lines, and
textures.
• Re-read your list.
• Write a sentence that describes the mood this
painting conveys.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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DRAFTING
• Write a paragraph in response to the
question: “What mood does Rousseau’s
Sleeping Gypsy convey?”
• Be sure to include the details of the
painting that contributed to your
impression.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING
• Imagine that you want to describe the
process by which you arrived at your
conclusion.
• Rewrite your paragraph, organizing it
chronologically (e.g. “The first thing that
struck me about the painting was X, then I
noticed Y…” and so on).
• Save your topic sentence for the end of
the paragraph.
© 2003 Prentice Hall
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REVISING
• Review your paragraph for:
– UNITY: Does every sentence in it relate directly to the
topic sentence?
– SEQUENCE: Do you stick to chronological order?
– COHERENCE: Do you notice any unconnected leaps
of thought? If needed, add:
• transitional markers
• repetition of key words or pronouns
• parallel grammatical structure
– DEVELOPMENT: Do you provide ample detail? Did
you use any imprecise/fuzzy words?
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EDITING
• Review your paragraph for correctness of
sentence structure, grammar, spelling
and punctuation.
• Make any necessary changes.
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DISCUSSION
• Compare the two paragraphs you have
written.
• Discuss the differences with your
classmates.
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