As I searched through my old blog posts over my time in the Presidential Leadership
Academy for a narrative that I could rewrite, I quickly realized that I tend to always end my
posts with a positive twist – a lesson learned or a way to see the situation from a different
(positive) perspective. Then, as I thought over my life, I realized that I do not just do this in
blogs, but also in life. Whenever I am faced with a negative situation or one where a “door” was
closed on me, I always try to find the silver lining in the situation. I have found that this type of
thinking helps me continue to push through and reach my goals, in spite of the circumstances. I
am also a spiritual person. I identify as Christian, and while I might not be the most religious
person, I do believe in God. My beliefs and values greatly impact my way of thinking as well. I
am a firm believer in purpose and God’s plan, so when something does not go as I planned, I
might be a little upset initially, but I comfort myself by remembering that God still has a plan for
me. This way of thinking is also encouraged by my family, boyfriend, and some friends. Yet,
when I think back on one instance that did not go my way, I realize that I still might question
from time to time why I did not get an opportunity I so badly wanted.
Throughout my time at Penn State, I have never had an internship. In the past, I have
applied for some and things never seemed to work out. Or, I might have started thinking about
getting an internship too late into the spring semester. In any case, I thought it was especially
important that I try to get an internship for the summer before my senior year. After all, I wanted
to have something to add to my resume, and some experience in a field of interest so I could
judge whether or not this career path might be for me. I have heard friends mention how their
experiences at a summer internship made them realize the career they thought they wanted was
not for them. I’ve known since my senior year of high school that I wanted to become a lawyer,
but never had any experience working with a lawyer or even in the legal field. This worried me a
great deal during junior year, so despite previous set backs with internships, I decided to apply
for the Stephanie Tubbs Jones Summer Internship Program. The internship was for women and
worked in collaboration with the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation (CBC). The internship
was a nine-week program for students to “learn about the legislative process, leadership, and
careers in policy making” (Delta Research and Educational Foundation). Reading the description
of the program, and watching YouTube videos of past participants vlogging about their
experiences made me all the more interested. I decided to apply.
Maybe I was a little overconfident when I applied, but I was certain that I would get
selected. After all, I figured not many students knew about this internship program, and I felt I
met all of the qualifications. After waiting two months without word of whether or not I had been
accepted, I learned that I was not. I was surprised. I was so excited for this opportunity and was
sure that I would get selected, so learning that I wasn’t was a significant blow. I wondered why I
wasn’t picked. I would check their website constantly to see the biography of the student they
did select, hoping that this would help me understand why she was chosen and I wasn’t. Later
that same week, I also learned that I had been accepted for Teach for America. This was a nice
distraction from the rejection of the internship. But more than that, I now realize that being
rejected from the internship program was a significant shift in my career goals.
Of course, I accepted the Teach for America offer, because I knew I wanted to do TFA
after graduation since my sophomore year. Because I was now out of an internship, I went home
and looked for a summer camp job. I found one at a sleep away camp in upstate New York, and
was planning to do that when one of my neighbors told me about a summer camp in my
neighborhood that was hiring. In fact, the camp was based out of the community center just
below my apartment building. In the end, I applied for and started working at the summer camp
in my community. Working at this summer camp ended up being such a wonderful experience.
While it was tiring at times, it reaffirmed for me why I wanted to work for Teach for America.
Many of the children at the camp were African-American or Puerto Rican. Some had tough
home situations or had experienced a great deal in their few years of life. When I would talk to
them about school, they were so indifferent about it, which was heart breaking for me. These
campers really opened my eyes to many of the harsh realities that some children can face.
Looking back, if I would have gotten the internship I applied for, I definitely would not have had
the opportunity to work at the summer camp. Also, because of my experiences with the campers,
I decided to change my undergraduate thesis topic. At first, I wanted to explore something
related to women in the criminal justice system. However, I decided during the summer to
change my topic to the school-to-prison pipeline. I decided that I wanted to specifically research
New York City public schools and how the pipeline impacts African-American children.
As I reflect on the setback of being rejected from the Stephanie Tubbs Jones Summer
Internship Program, I realize that it was not such a setback after all. My path merely shifted from
what I thought I wanted to do, to discovering what I actually want to do. Working at the summer
camp, coupled with now working on my thesis and preparing for Teach for America, has made
me realize that I am very passionate about education. I attribute much of my success today to
being fortunate enough to have gotten a great education in elementary and high school. I realize
the value of education and I want to instill that in other children. Looking beyond Teach for
America, I am still excited about going to law school, but I now have a better vision of what I
want to do with a law degree. I would love to dedicate my life to improving the school-to-prison
pipeline, and other educational systems that only widen the education gap. I want to fight for
educational equity for all children, regardless of socioeconomic status or race/ethnicity. I realize
that my circumstances were not much different from the children I worked with this summer. I
am from the same neighborhood that they are from, was raised by a single mother, etc. However,
my opportunities have greatly shifted because I was blessed with a great education. This is so
important to me, and I am certain I would not have made all of these realizations had I been
accepted for that internship.
I realize the value in reflecting on past setbacks to see how they may have actually helped
improve a circumstance. While it all did not make sense to me then, it is great to make sense of
my situation now. I am thankful for the change in my trajectory because I have a better sense of
my career goals and my purpose in life.