Denise McAllister
20 September 2014
IDIS 201
Short Essay
What Every Body is Saying
What principles of non-verbal communication in Navarro’s book can you take with
you to the workplace and to your relationships? Are you noticing things during your
interactions that you did not before? What are some examples of “tells” that you
will be looking for?
Provide a short list of what you consider to be body-related “do’s” and
“don’t’s” in professional settings. These might include actions related to body
language, clothing, verbal communication, signs of rudeness or politeness.
I have worked in the restaurant industry for most of my adult life and have had the
opportunity to learn how to read people based on how people interact with me and with
others. I am not an expert on detecting how people feel but it is part of my job to ensure
that people have a pleasant dining experience. Reading non-verbal cues is a valuable tool
that I use to determine if customers are enjoying their dining experience. I do not need to
do this all of the time; most people express themselves at restaurants effectively. There
are occasions where a customer is obviously unhappy but will not say so. When this
happens, I try to determine if the unhappiness is the result of the quality of the food or the
overall ambience of the restaurant. I can approach the customer with solutions if I think
that is the case. I might notice however, if someone is unhappy when she enters the
restaurant. She might be unhappy with her seating arrangements based on her hesitation
when sitting down. If the table is not satisfactory to the customer, her neck will stretch
around the room searching for a better option. I have learned to read some of the cues that
Navarro discussed in his book. Customer’s facial cues are not always obvious but usually
they cannot hide when they are not happy. They try to smile, but usually the “polite
smile” gives them away. The placement of hands and arms are important in determining
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whether a dinner is business or pleasure. It makes my job easier if people are happy with
their dining companions. Noting the relationship that the customers have with each other
helps me estimate if the table will be available sooner rather than later. A couple that is
celebrating an anniversary or date night will spend more time at the table than casual
groups getting a quick snack before “clubbing”. The couple will spend more time in
conversation with each other rather than eating. They will also sit close together. While I
am not always able to see customer’s lower body parts, there are situations where it is
obvious that customers are “wrapped around” each other! I do notice hands and arms, but
not necessarily the way that Navarro discusses in his book. I have seen the hands as a
way to determine age and employment status. I have to check customer identification
cards a lot because many of my customers are college students. I try to notice if the
person’s hands are worn, weathered, or soft and smooth. I am checking to see if the hands
match the age listed! It may seem unscientific and I have never had to question and
identification based on this theory but I still inspect the hands anyway.
My observations about people are intuitive. I have years of experience in
numerous types of restaurants. I use my observations to determine the kind of service that
I provide. I treat everyone with courtesy and kindness but I can serve people better if I
understand their needs. Customers are many and varied; they do not always have the
same needs. After reading Navarro and learning about other types of cues, I hope to
become an even more efficient waiter.
It had never occurred to me to observe the feet and legs. Reading about the
“gravity defying” behaviors of the feet makes perfect sense. I can look back at my
daughter’s behaviors and understand what Navarro means. My daughter is very animated
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and she exhibits the “happy feet” example when she is excited about something. She is
also a fidgety person, so I do have to notice when she increases her usual movements.
Learning how to detect feet movements based on torso and shoulder movements was
interesting. I am going to try to see if I can observe these types of behaviors in the future.
I will also notice how people interact with each other more than in the past. It will be
helpful to notice the neck behaviors especially. Neck tilting and the touching of the neck
were behaviors that I am sure that I have not given any attention. It will be interesting to
see if I can a) notice them, and b) if those observations influence my service.
I would like to see if I could alter some of my own non-verbal behaviors to
provide my customers with a more pleasant dining experience. I have to ask myself if my
presentation is putting the customer at ease and do my hands and feet communicate
honesty and warmth. I do not always pay attention to where I hold my hands when I greet
my customers. I do try to make a concerted effort to convey respect although I am not
always conscious of hand placement. I will try to be mindful of my own body stance
when I am greeting people at their table. I do not want to stand in an aggressive manner
but I need convey some type of authority. My job is a customer service position but I
also have some control over the nature of the customer’s experience.
I hope to use these behaviors when conducting the faculty interviews assigned for
this class. I want my own demeanor to be professional but I would also like to put the
interviewee at ease. I am of course aware of professional “do’s” and “don’t’s” and feel
that as an adult I have a firm grasp of what behaviors are acceptable and proper.
Dressing in a professional manner appropriate to the setting is important.
Thankfully, nylons are no longer the “norm”, but wearing casual clothes normally
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reserved for weekend barbecues are unsuitable when you need to make a good
impression. Ensuring that clothes are clean and pressed is important as well. Obviously,
good hygiene and basic grooming are important. People notice little things like clipped
nails and polished shoes. Good posture, whether standing or sitting is important as well.
The chair slouching behavior that Navarro discussed is an obvious “don’t” but I am
surprised at how often people display that behavior. “Splaying out”, the territorial display
that Navarro discusses is rude and unprofessional.
Not making eye contact with people is also rude. It is not necessary to stare
awkwardly at someone when being addressed, but it is discourteous to check email and
Facebook accounts during a conversation as well. I agree with Navarro that facial
expressions do not always give a true account of someone’s character but I also agree that
most people are honest and speaking directly and making eye contact helps to convey this
point.
Reading body language and non-verbal cues is interesting but it can also be
tiresome and difficult. Despite my intuitive skills with people in a restaurant setting, I
find it hard to focus on the physical aspects of others. After reading What Every Body Is
Saying, I have spent some time trying to make the observations Navarro discusses and I
have found it to be a difficult job. It will take a lot more time invested in practicing the
skills of observation to become more proficient in learning about body cues and
language.
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