Introductions and Conclusions
Let’s look at the way some students
have done it!
Quick Write
 What makes a good introduction?
 Turn to your partner and discuss what you
wrote.
 Share with the class.
What makes a good introduction?
Why is it important?
Purposes for Introductions
The introduction:
grabs the reader’s attention.
clearly implies an organizational structure of the paper
includes support that is specific and relevant, and provides a
clear, connected lead-in to paper’s main idea or thesis.
includes a thesis that is stated or implied
Quote by William Zinsser
The most important sentence in any article is the first one.
If it doesn’t induce the reader to proceed to the second
sentence, your article, your story, YOUR ESSAY
IS DEAD.
Of such a progression of
sentence, each tugging the
reader forward until he is
hooked. . .
INEFFECTIVE Introductions
 You are going to learn about…
 This essay/letter is about…
 I am going to tell you about…
 There are three reasons…
 My opinion is that....
 The point I wish to make is. . .
 The fact of the matter is that…
Strategies for Introductions
A writer may begin with:
 an anecdote or
A vivid description
scenario
a current eventa quotation or series
Citizen of the World
of quotations
opening
a brief
Contrast two
history/background
opposing aspects of
information
the topic
a startling statement
(could be a fact,
statistic, or opinion.) The best thing to do is to
combine two or three of the
above strategies.
An anecdote or scenario
I lead a stressful life. I try to escape from my daily homework
by taking a ten-minute walk, but often that does not work.
After about two hours straight, I look for a different kind of
relief – my television set. Forms of entertainment, ranging
from the soothing sounds of Beethoven to the bloody
spectacles of the Roman Coliseum, have had a huge impact
on both the individual and society’s culture as a whole.
However my case and the case of many of my friends, these
forms of entertainment have shown us ways to build bombs,
protest against our parents, and resist the relentless aim of
education. Many fear that these forms of entertainment have
the ability to destroy the values of society. These fears are
well placed, as modern entertainment’s never-ending search
for the next “sensation” can lead to the subversion of
society’s values and traditions.
A quotation or dialogue
“Think: all men make mistakes, but a good man
yields when he knows his course is wrong, and
repairs the evil: The only crime is pride.” says
Teiresias in Antigone. In this play and many of the
other Greek plays, the protagonist often has
excessive pride or hubris. Because of pride the
hapless main character makes a tragic mistake that
causes his ruin. This pride and consequences have
been the downfall of literary characters
throughout the ages, from Hamlet to Sethe of Toni
Morrison's Beloved.
A brief history or background information
Lyndon B. Johnson, as President, came up with a
plan to get rid of poverty across the United States.
He called it an "unconditional War on Poverty."
Many organizations resulted from the plan and
then many world organizations resulted from
those, like UNICEF and Oxfam America. People
have always tried to come up with ways to avoid
and even abolish poverty, including a man named
Peter Singer. Singer came up with "The Singer
Solution to World Poverty."
A startling fact/statistic
China now produces as much as 70% of the merchandise
sold by Wal-Mart. For many years, America’s economy
was so dominant on the world stage, so out front in so
many key areas, that we fell into the habit of thinking we
were competing largely against ourselves. However, in
recent years, with the leveling of the global playing field, it
should be apparent that we are not just competing against
ourselves. The opening up of countries like India, China,
and Russia means that their young people can compete
more easily and cheaply than ever before. And they are.
This situation poses a large problem for the United States
in the long run and we are coasting along as if we have all
the time in the world. In fact, a solution must soon be
found to reverse this outward flow of jobs.
A vivid description
Imagine walking into a bathroom that has no doors
on the stalls, a massive scrapped piece of wall where a
mirror used to hang, and age-old graffiti, shouting
“Mary Ellen is a slut” covering the stall walls. Picture
no toilet paper, the sanitary disposals overflowing,
and the urinals stained with a dark brown substance.
If a student tries to wash his or her hands, there is no
soap, and if a student tries to dry his or her hands,
there are no paper towels. Welcome to rest rooms in
most suburban high schools. These and other
conditions need to be examined. High schools in this
country are not equal.
A citizen of the world opening
In an era when all the frontiers of civilization's expansion seems to
have vanished, when the settling and industrialization of all the Earth's
land and resources seem to have reached a limit, we, as innate pioneers,
look towards space as our next domain of conquest. Despite a hostile,
belligerent beginning to the Space Age, in the midst of global tension
and a treaty of total cataclysm, mankind has since returned to space as a
medium of peace and progress. But space is not free, space is not safe,
and space is not easy. With millions of dollars of the Federal budget
tied up with NASA and related institutions, with unforeseeable dangers
plaguing every launch reentry and landing, and with public interest and
support dwindling, should the United States, or any space-capable
country for that matter, continue to invest in exploring the frontier in
the oncoming century?
Contrasting Two Points Of View
Rodriguez contrasts Mexico and California not as
two different places but two polar states of mind;
these cultural philosophies are indicative of his
divided mind and conflicting feelings. He
associates California with a youthful "wild child"
outlook and Mexico with a more developed
Epicurean pessimism. In the simplistic sense, he
has endured from the youthful California to the
older Mexican, but--looking back--he does not truly
sympathize with the totality of this transformation
or agree to discard wither world view in decisive
favor of the other.
Practice Task – 11th Graders
Directions: Look at our current prompt. How can we
“hook” the reader using a standard hook method?
Each table will be assigned a method. Together, using
the examples, write a hook for our current prompt.
Then, type it up and post it to your assigned padlet:
http://padlet.com/redheadlarkin/hook2
Table 1 – An anecdote or scenario
Table 2 – A quotation or dialogue
Table 3 – Brief history or background
Table 4 – Begin with a startling statement
Table 5 – Vivid Description
Table 6 – Current Event-Citizen of the World
Table 8 – Contrast 2 opposing views
What do you want to remember?
Turn to your partner and list 3 things
you want to remember.
Which one of these is the best conclusion?
 Ads are intended to do essentially one thing: make a
consumer desire a product. The scientific precision
with which this is attempted these days makes ads
potent influences on the brains of consumers. It is
important for the public to recognize that advertisers
are overtly trying to manipulate them, and every last
ad should be viewed with skepticism.
 Advertising has many goals and the consumer needs
to be aware of each and every one. This will effect
how you shop and how you manage your money.
Discussion
 Turn to your partner and discuss.
 Which conclusion did you pick and why?
 What makes a good conclusion?
 What is the purpose for a conclusion? What
should it accomplish?
 Share with the class.
 What makes a good conclusion?
 Why is it important?
The Purpose of Conclusions
The purpose of the
conclusion is to satisfy
the reader by not only
wrapping up the essay,
but also giving him or
her something to think
about. This is your last
chance to affect the
reader.
INEFFECTIVE Conclusions
 I hope you enjoyed reading my…
 In this essay/letter you have learned…
 In conclusion,…
 As you can see/tell…
 I just told you about
(exact thesis)…
IN CONCLUSION should be banned from
essays!
“It is regurgitating and not sophisticated.
To use "in conclusion" is to insult your
reader's intelligence”
-Lucile Payne
“Make sure your last sentence or
paragraph is a joy in itself. It gives the
reader a lift, and it lingers when the article
is over.”
-William Zinsser
Conclusion Strategies
Ways to Achieve Your Purpose
A writer may end with
 an “echo” from the beginning





of piece
a quotation with analysis
an anecdote
A connection to a universal
issue or American Tenet
a generalization from
information given, causeeffect
call to action
 a dire prediction
 a response to a “so what?”
question
 A wish, hope, self-reflection
 An ironic twist
 Offer a solution
The best thing to do is
use a combination of
this list.
An Echo From The Beginning of the Piece
Introduction – In an era when all the frontiers of
civilization's expansion seems to have vanished, when the
settling and industrialization of all the Earth's land and
resources seem to have reached a limit, we, as innate pioneers,
look towards space as our next domain of conquest.
Conclusion- Land has always been vanishing and yet we
always seek and find more. We have always been explorers,
consider Columbus going to the Americas, or Marco Polo for
China, or American families for the Turner frontier. But if
we, from hindsight, see how our civilization has changed as a
result, we can say, with some confidence, that moving to
space will also push mankind in the right direction. In our
culture when a door has been opened, we take it.
A Quotation
“The end justifies the means," argued Machiavelli.
Why not apply this to charity? Taxes are basically
funds going to causes like building up our schools,
repaving roads, and building a better community for
our children--if they are compulsory, it doesn't
make much difference; some good is happening.
So, when incentives are tied to charitable acts
(gratuities to the church) more good occurs than
when selfless charity acts alone. Even if the case is
somewhat skewed, ethics are ultimately about doing
what is good and right by humanity.
An Anecdote
It is a typical Saturday night and boredom sweeps
over like a blanket. I want an escape from the
drudgery of my life and what do I turn to—
entertainment. Besides amusement, entertainment
functions to promote artistic creativity and excellence.
More than a mindless influence on society,
entertainment informs, enlightens, and acts as an
intellectual forum. The bullets from Tom Hank’s
semi-automatic in Saving Private Ryan are not meant
to tell someone that killing is all right, but to
showcase the danger and ugliness of war, while
simultaneously astounding watchers with visual
reality.
A Prediction
If reason and logic instead of dissent were
truly present amidst the many thousands of
controversies around the world, perhaps there
would be peace in the Middle East, perhaps
new thinkers and problem solvers would get
the chance to bring hope to a fight that has
gone on much too long, perhaps there would
be no use for the excuse “he started it”
because there would be less fighting in the
world. But perhaps now is the time to start,
perhaps by next year, we will see peace in the
place where religion was born.
A Call To Action
But that means it is our job to determine what is
true and what is contrived. It is not an easy task.
But, as responsible citizens, it is one we must
embrace. We must make an effort to stay wellinformed at all times, make rational decisions about
what we believe is true, and most importantly, voice
our displeasure-via mouth, checkbook, or ballotwhen we feel we are being lied to. The public has
the ability to determine the course of society in this
matter. Together, we just need to point society in
the right direction-one of truthfulness and
accountability and make it clear that we will not
settle for anything less.
A Generalization From Given Information
While better education could maybe help to alleviate
some of the pressure and burden caused by
outsourcing, the real solution lies in having
companies realize that, ultimately Maslow's hierarchy
of basic needs should be met, but not at the expense
of America's future. Therefore, companies need to
monitor how much they outsource and limit it.
Companies need to look at the entire picture and
outsourcing must be maintained at a level to insure
security and prosperity for future generations of
Americans.
“So What” conclusion
All in all, the passage highlights a disturbing trend in
American marketing: the contents of The Onion could be
real. If not for the inclusion of certain diction, details, and
irony, the less intellectual reader would have called The
Onion to order MagnaSoles. Imagine his disappointment
when he learns they were telling the "semi-truth.”
A self reflection
As I stand here among the mourning crowd, I think
about the death of this lovely if maddening princess, and
how her death has changed something inside me.
Something, as the old song said, had to give, and perhaps
this fantastic display of public grief, so vulgar in many
ways, so unconvincing in others, has to it some spiritual
element after all. Perhaps in their hearts—as well as mine -the British people see Diana as a fellow victim of
degraded times, and have instinctively seized upon her
death as the moment for a fresh start.
**Using I reflections is extremely delicate.
Offer a Solution
All of us could make some sacrifices. We do not need a
television in every room, but one is nice to have. We do
not need a five-car garage, but owning a car is all right.
We do not need a summer home in France and a winter
home in Jamaica, but having proper heating and airconditioning is not too much to ask. We need to help less
fortunate, but giving away what we need is not a good
idea. Poverty is truly a large problem in the world, but we
need to treat its causes, not its symptoms. We need to
work on how to help people find jobs, not throw money at
them.
Pass the Paragraph
 Number off 1 to 4.
 Each number will copy its assigned topic sentence
on a piece of paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Having a car in college is imperative.
A younger brother/sister is a pest.
Parents can sometimes be a teen’s worst enemy.
Advertising can be deceptive.
Pass the Paragraph, Continued
 On the teacher's signal, pass the paper to the right.
 Write one detail that will support the topic you receive.
 Pass the paper again and layer another item of detail.
 Repeat until there are at least 3 layered details.
 Write the conclusion using one of the conclusion
strategies. Label it.
 Share with your group and pick the best one to share
with the class.
REFLECTION
 What have your learned about introductions?
 What have your learned about conclusions?
 How can you use this information?