Easter 6 / Year B
10 May 2015 / Warren
John 15: 9-17
If you knew that you were going to see someone for the last time, what would you say?
You’d probably have some final instructions or words of advice. “Walk the dog. Water the
plants. Finish filing your tax return! And don’t forget to call your mother on Mother’s Day” :)
Practical advice.
But Jesus tells the disciples, “this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I
have loved you…. I am giving you these commandments so that you may love one another.”
Maybe the Beatles were right: all you need is love. But what kind of love? Love has
many faces. The Christian writer CS Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves. I’ll give you a
quick synopsis. See if this makes any sense to you.
Lewis said that the first kind of love is the fondness that family members have for one
another. In Greek, the word is storge. It’s Mother’s Day, so think of this love as the natural
affection of a mother for her child.
The second kind of love, philia, is the rootword of the city named Philadelphia. It means
the love between friends, the kind of love that grows out of companionship. Lewis thought that
this kind of love, real friendship, was very important - but hard to come by.
The third kind of love, eros, is love in the sense of “being in love” or “loving” someone
passionately. Lewis said that eros between humans can be a profound experience, but it’s also
the kind of love that can be dark and exclusive, shutting out the world. I can’t help but think of
the two teenage lovers who committed suicide this week in Garden City Collegiate, Bettina
Rodriguez, and Arvyn, her boyfriend. It looks like these two Grade 12 students had an eros love
for one another, like Romeo and Juliet.
1
The last word for love in Greek is agape. It’s where the expression The Agape Table
comes from. Agape is the love of God, and the love that God has for us: unconditional love. CS
Lewis saw agape-love as the greatest of all loves. A true Christian virtue.
And what does that kind of love look like? Maybe online dating sites could help us with
this. There are a lot of them out there: Match.Com, eHarmony, PlentyOFish, OKCupid.
Maclean’s says that about a quarter of all Canadians have tried internet dating – it’s come a long
way. Forget about hanging out in bars or churches to meet someone! Online dating sites offer
the promise of finding a soulmate whose interests and background are the same as yours. The
websites use mathematical formulas to predict compatibility, and help you find real love.
There’s a new book out by journalist Dan Slater, called Love in the Time of Algorithms.
Slater says that dating sites are now available as an app for your smartphone. It works like this:
if you’re on social media like Facebook, and you have a GPS built into your phone, all you have
to do is tap the person’s profile photo, see how close they are, see if they’re interested in
meeting, and – voila. It’s a date!
Remember that matchmaker, in Fiddler on the Roof ? Yenta? She’s toast. A computer
will do the work for you now. But here’s the problem: there’s absolutely no evidence that
computers can predict compatibility between people. There’s no algorithm for that spark, that
little skip in your heartbeat. Where love is concerned, math will only take you so far!
And here’s another concern, expressed by the sociologists. If you’re looking for love,
dating websites are in the business of offering infinite alternatives, and infinite alternatives aren’t
necessarily a good thing in a marriage. Slater tells the story of Jacob, who left his relationship
with Rachel after two years.
2
Jacob said that “he met Rachel so easily online, he was confident that if he became single
again, he could always meet someone else.” When someone believes there are plenty of fish in
the sea, they are less likely to be committed to their partner. But those who believe in a
commitment for life will fight through hard times, and succeed. The times they are a-changing;
and what “love” means in our society is changing too.
Well, for those of you who don’t have smartphones, and can’t locate dates by GPS,
there’s another solution to finding love: speed-dating. Have you heard of this? Speed-dating is
a method of meeting potential dates. You show up at an appointed venue, and you get a few
minutes to sit down and talk to somebody before moving to the next table. When the time is up,
you decide which date (if any) you want to see again. Simple. No commitment, no regrets!
What did Jesus mean when he said, “love one another”? My guess is, dating websites
won’t help us understand this. Unconditional love – Lewis’s agape love - takes commitment. I
have a feeling it’s more than speed-dating.
I’m reminded of that wonderful definition of commitment. In a breakfast of bacon and
eggs, the hen is supportive. The pig is committed.
That fits with what Jesus means by “loving one another” . “No one has greater love than
this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Agape love involves commitment and sacrifice.
Where do we see that kind of love today?
Well, it’s a Mother Teresa kind of love. It’s an Archbishop Oscar Romero kind of love.
It’s the kind of love which is not self-centred, but centred in others. We don’t see much of that
anymore; but the news from this past week give us a glimpse of someone who has shown that
kind of love, someone who puts others before self .
3
I’m speaking of Dennis Edney, the lawyer who has been working on Omar Khadr’s case.
Just to refresh your memory, Omar Khadr was captured in Afghanistan in 2002, when he was 15
years old. Khadr’s father was a jihadist colleague of Osama Bin Laden, and the young boy had
become caught up in the fight in Afghanistan. A military tribunal found Khadr responsible for
throwing a grenade which killed an American medic; and he was sent to Guantanamo Bay,
where he was held for ten years. He was the youngest prisoner in Guantanamo; and the only
westerner.
Khadr was repatriated to Canada in 2012 under an international transfer treaty. He has
always maintained he pleaded “guilty” so that he would eventually get out of Guantanamo.
He was finally released on bail this week, after an Alberta judge found that he was not a
serious risk to the Canadian public. “Give me a chance to show who I am as a person, not as a
name” Khadr said. “You can make your own judgement after that.”
Canadians are divided as to whether Omar Khadr should ever have been given bail; but
what is clear that he would never have had the opportunity without the commitment of Dennis
Edney, his lawyer, who has always believed that Khadr was innocent. A huge sticking-point in
Khadr’s release was that he did not have a home to go to, if he was set free on bail. His lawyer
offered up his own family home in Edmonton. Edney told the court that he would enforce the
curfew, and take a course in how to use tracking bracelets; and this week, Omar Khadr was
released, and welcomed into Dennis Edney’s home.
Edney and his family have shown Omar Khadr agape-love, a love which is committed, a
love which sacrifices for others. May we all have such love, one for another.
Amen.
4