Things I’ve Tried
One thing I think I found myself to come to realize, though, is that the path I need to take to be who I am
meant to be is not the same path that others need to take. There are some things in here that may work
for others, but just really don’t work for me, and there are some things in here that worked for me that
might not work for others. And, I think that’s okay. I don’t know that some people were supposed to
grow up to be gentlemen, skeptics, and scholars (or at least, that’s what I’m hoping to be).
So, yeah, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is an answer. There is a way out. I’ve just got to find it.
I’m so close- I can almost taste it. After 5 years, I’m right there. I’ve just got to put 2 and 2 together to
figure out what it is that is working and why, and how to keep what works, working. It has to be
something incredibly simple- all of the important speakers in the world have something really simple
when they talk about their redemption story from sin, so it must not be incredibly complex. Yet, it must
be that is not impossible to achieve- I am beginning to believe that it has to be something that is unique
to me, and that there is no universal way out. But, alas.
This list isn’t really comprehensive, but it should give you a good idea of what I’ve tried
Seek and you shall find- for 5 years, I’ve kinda defied that.
Stuff I’ve attempted:
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Relying only on God
o You know, those people who say to put it all on God, take on His yoke, for His is easy,
and His burden is light. That doesn’t work. I’d still get desires, and God wouldn’t stop
me.
Relying all on myself
o I have come to the absolute that “just trying harder” doesn’t work. In my current state, I
can’t just rely on myself that just working harder would fix things. But maybe, I can do
something that’ll work that doesn’t involve working harder...
Various mixtures of the two
self-discipline
o I would do stuff like to go bed thinking, “There’s no way I’m going to fail. I’m going to
war. Get ready for an epic battle.” You know, stuff like that. But the harder I tried, the
more I realized that you can’t hype up your mind and turn it into a brick wall, yet still fall
asleep. So, I found that whatever the solution is, it doesn’t entirely involve hardening
your mind and becoming God’s soldier.
disciplining myself
Things I’ve Tried
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I would hurt myself. Seriously. I came so close to cutting soo many times. It just makes
you feel worse. Punishing yourself never really helps create a solution- it just reminds
you that pain hurts.
self-help programs
o I tried this one program that guaranteed, 100%, on the authority of the Bible, that it
would work if I honestly did what it told me. Well, about a few weeks in, I knew it wasn’t
going to work. I was totally failing at the program when I was supposed to be doing okay
at it (at least, at that point). I decided to drop it before I broke their reputation of never
failing someone who enlisted in their program.
crying out to God
o I tried this a lot. A lot of the time, I would literally cry. I just didn’t get it. I thought He
listened and answered. I thought He loved me enough to help me through this- because
obviously, I couldn’t do this on my own. If I couldn’t rely on Him, and I couldn’t do it on
my own, what hope did I have?
fasting
o I wanted to be as serious and extreme as possible, but I wanted to be genuine- so I
didn’t want anyone to know about it (even my parents). So, I fasted water. I drank
absolutely no liquid, ate no juicy foods, and stayed away from stuff like yogurt. I did that
for 10 days. I really wanted God to talk to me- to say something, anything. I didn’t really
get anything out of that, except that more determination isn’t the answer to my
problems- I had more than a lot of other people have, and they could get out. If there
was a universal way to get out of this stuff, I realized that if I had enough determination
ot fast water for 10 days, yet not enough to get out of my addictions, then
determination wasn’t going to cut it.
crying
o just- that. I cried a lot.
eating a lot
o some people said that having carbs in your body help quell your carnal desires. For me,
this was not so- it’d make things slightly easier, but it would never be enough.
not worrying about it
o I thought that maybe I was overworking myself and that whatever it was, few people
tried as hard as I have (at least, and stay enraptured by porn). Although worrying makes
things worse, and denial is a sign of weakness, I have found that putting stress on it is a
bad idea, yet just saying that “you’re free” from pastoral sermon and moving on doesn’t
do squat.
freak my brains out
o I thought- hey, why not train my brain to withstand this? as punishment when I would
sin, I would freak my brains out with something like a Slenderman documentary. I
thought that if I could freak myself out with that and find immediate rest and comfort in
God, I could do whatever I did there to find rest and comfort when being tempted. That
kinda worked- when your mind is so freaked out, being tempted to look at porn is a hard
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thing to do. In the end, though, I just began to get numb to horror- scary things weren’t
really as scary anymore.
listening to music
o TOTAL fail. It’s like drinking alcohol to be happy. For a while, you’re energized and all
like, “yeah, I ain’t never gonna sin!” but then the emotion wears of and, you know, you
kinda just p’d off some demon. It doesn’t take long for him to get you.
reading my Bible
o again, I don’t think anyone who recommends this has actually tried it. It does nothing. In
fact, it made my temptations worse. Especially if you start in Proverbs like everyone tells
you to- you start reading all about the sultry characteristics of the harlot or whatever,
and then suddenly I’m all like “yeah, uh, I want that.” And Solomon just says don’t do itnot how to make sure you stay away. Even in other books, this never really helped- it
just gave a demon a way to constantly say, “you know, you could be doing something a
lot more fun right now.”
becoming a leader and an example to others
o this helps, but it really doesn’t fix anything. This is why I held the Crazy Love book study,
the reason why I chose to try to be a Chaplain, and various other things. It may even be
part of the reason why I wanted to counsel Seth (yeah, maybe not). But even still, just
about everything that I did in life for a good few years, I did so that I could get out of
porn. It’s nice and all, but once you screw up even once, it’s all over. There’s little point
in acting like you can keep up your integrity in that position because it’s already gone.
80% of pastors (or something like that), I’m told, has done some “personal viewing”
within a year.
giving myself a bedtime
o this helps a lot- sorta. Temptations don’t really go away or anything, but when you’re
sleep deprived and it’s 11 PM and you’re in bed watching YouTube videos, it’s reaaly
easy to just tap the search bar button and type in something that your mind’ll “really”
enjoy. I get a device like that in my bed every night (because I use a soft timer for my
evening routine), and just because you get rid of the YouTube app and Safari and
whatnot, it doesn’t meant that it’s hard to hack an app so it works.
putting on deodorant
o fair warning- this bit touches on the graphic side. Yeah, you want to always have
something on. If I’m in bed and smell sweat (remember my pit fetish), I’ll be tempted to
keep smelling it or even start licking it. When I see my bare feet (and foot fetish), I can
easily get the temptation to start licking those as if they were a female’s. When I smell
my groin... you get the idea. Just masking that smell morning and night helps a lot.
everything twice
o If you see anything on here, I’ve no doubt done it more than once, even if it failed,
especially if it worked. I’ve tried loads of different combinations of stuff here.
letting my parents find out
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bad idea. I’ll be honest- it scared me to heck to know that my dad was watching
everything I did (and even more to find that he had already been doing that), but I could
always find a way around it without his detection. I knew things. Lectures to me were
just desires to defy them- I didn’t feel like they totally understood what I was going
through, and honestly, I wanted to get violent at times. So, the desires just came all the
stronger when they knew.
letting other people find out
o I would tell other people, but their encouragement to stay strong wasn’t very, well,
encouraging. People would make promises and immediately break them. They would
have sympathy and walk away. What kind of followers of Jesus are these people? Or are
they just Christians?
pleading and consulting other people for help
o I wanted the counsel of someone- anyone. I tried everyone’s counsel, but to no avail.
Every last thing that people recommended me to do, I tried; none of it was effective.
The most spiritual pastors I knew couldn’t help me. Other people’s prayers didn’t seem
to have any effect on me. It’s almost like I didn’t exist to God. It’s a wonder that I still
believe, is it not?
burning testosterone by exercise
o this has pros and cons. Pros: it burns testosterone, making you less likely to want to
wank. Cons: it burns testosterone, which means that your body is going to
overcompensate for the testosterone lost, giving you even more testosterone in the
long run. It’s why I ran cross-country last year, though. Still a bummer.
being a brony
o of all the things that I’ve tried so far, this by far is the one with the most promise
(actually, it’s the one with any promise). By embracing weirdness, I can stop this other
weirdness from weirding me out. I don’t know- all I know is that when I am overtaken by
the innocence of the show, I can’t help but think that porn is the silliest thing in the
world, and desires leave. I don’t care how, or why. It works. Usually.
laughing/insulting the devil
o I thought that commanding the devil to submit to you in the name of Jesus would be a
good thing- nope. It just makes him mad. I thought commanding him to stop tempting in
Jesus’ name would make him stop tempting. Not really, in my experience. I tried making
this whole thing a big joke, and calling the Devil stupid if he thought I was going to
succumb. That worked for about 5 minutes. You feel unstoppable for about 5 minutes,
and then you start grieving for a few hours. Even if you withstand 10 minutes, you’ll be
out in a few days. Always happens.
fearing the devil
o so, what did I do? I went to the opposite side of the spectrum. I tried to stay away from
the guy and his minions. I wanted nothing to do with him, and I respected the fact that
he was the second most powerful being in the universe. I didn’t want to mess with the
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second most powerful being in the universe. Apparently, though, he still liked to mess
with me just as much.
preparing your mind for battle as you went to bed
o again, not very effective. You have to relax your mind before you fall asleep, thereby
letting your guard down. The Devil just gets angry when you do that, and he attacks.
Actually, I may be wrong about this whole Devil stuff (this whole letter). I really don’t
know what I’m talking about. It’s probably just the fact that I think about not doing porn
for so long right before I go to bed that it shows up.
wallowing
o a lot of that. God’s s’post to interpret that as prayer. I did a lot of wallowing.
trying to stay busy
o how could you have time to watch porn when you give yourself so much work to do?
Right? Not quite- surpressing a thought during a huge, stressful workload is like pushing
down a spring- whenever you get a second to relax, it explodes, and all the rest of the
time, you have to give a lot of energy to keep it pressed down, thereby making you less
productive in the long run.
writing this
o bringing back remembrances of carnal desires isn’t always all that good for the mind.
Ugh. Why did I just do that?
playing video games
o the trick is to find a game that has a great payoff, but isn’t too hard to get to. If you get
too aggravated with it, your enemy will immediately give you something much more
satisfying to do; however, if there’s no huge achievement to be unlocked (and you
aren’t unlocking it), you’ll get bored, and your enemy will immediately give you
something more satisfying to do.
falling in love with God
o Francis Chan in Crazy Love says that if you are so lost in love with God, you won’t want
these sins anymore. So, yeah, I did my everything I could to fall in love with God. I could
say that I did it at one point. What I noticed, though, is that yes, I did not want to
commit the sins- I hated the idea of it, the temptation, what happens immediately after,
actually doing it- everything. For some reason, though, it didn’t stop me. Like an
automaton, I just kinda did it without knowing why. It’s almost as if my soul didn’t have
a choice in my matter- my brain said that I was going to do it, and I couldn’t do anything
about it. The enemy would constantly say “yeah, you hate it, and you don’t want to do
it, but you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?” and I would go “uh-huh.”
being public with that love/sharing that love with others
o I was hoping that if I could get a strong community of believers around me that honestly
wanted to change and be better people, working together as a group of people that love
Christ, I could actually get somewhere. Unfortunately, it seems that people just want to
follow the rules to get the benefits, not fall passionately in love with God and jump
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headfirst into a new kind of life that would change them forever. I can’t find anyone like
that. Maybe they’re just skeptical like me. It’s just really annoying.
being a freakin’ samauri warrior!
o I would try to level up my status by imagining myself as a lone-ranger-ninja-type guy,
who would constantly battle temptation in secret among everyday life. Like Code Lyoko
or something, walking down the hallways or in classrooms or at home, I would suddenly
confront a temptation- so I would make literal sword-swiping motions to kill it. I’m just
really good at this kind of stuff so no one sees it. I would rank myself and tell myself to
live up to whatever title I gave myself (like “warlord” or something)- but when you can’t
live up to your own name given to you at birth in ways that are actually real and
tangible, and more determination does no good, what hope do you have?
trying to not realize that doing these things could be beneficial
o there was a point where I realized that I didn’t like doing as I was told. I didn’t like being
controlled. I didn’t want to do stuff just because of the benefit. So, I didn’t want to be
controlled by a “path of righteousness,” so I tried to not convince myself that I was.
o I didn’t want to get self-help, because that’s humiliating and I don’t trust people who
end up being just as blind as me. I didn’t want to give myself self-help; I just wanted to
be okay- and that didn’t help at all.
o If I realized that these things were actually beneficial, I wouldn’t want to do it, or it
wouldn’t help- I had to do it just because I felt like doing it. This kinda helped.
removing all access to porn
o worst. idea. ever. Everyone says to do this- and it’s stupid. RULE #1- you will ALWAYS
have access to porn, and it will ALWAYS be pretty easy to get to. It didn’t take me that
long to figure that out. Yet, people keep telling me to do this. And I keep trying it. And it
does squat.
committing myself to every day/trying really hard every day
o that kinda works for like 2 days. But those days are torture, and again, I only remember
lasting like 2-3 days doing this. It’s a total flop. It’s like all the other emotion-driven
things I try- the emotion wears off, and then you either tick off some demon, or it’s just
your mind that is constantly thinking about not doing it. It’s kinda (but not quite) like the
purple gorilla experiment. I tell you to stop imagining a purple gorilla, and if you
constantly try harder and harder, it will just get harder and harder.
depression
o This is supposed to make it so you think back and say with a determined face, “I’m never
going back there again.” But, you know, you end up depressed. Although I didn’t like the
responses, I kinda liked being depressed. There’s something about being really
depressed that feels kinda good- like forgetting your problems because you are drunk
on hurt or something. I enjoyed crying and stuff- it felt good. I definitely felt that I could
relate to others who had depression, and that felt good. Maybe the joy was in the desire
all along.
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I never got the knife to make me bleed, but I got my fingernails to do it, though. To this
day, I enjoy washing my hands with reealy hot water- the rush of sensation of cold and
hot, like your brain doesn’t quite understand how hot it is, feels good. But I don’t do
that anymore (or I at least catch myself when I do), because I know it’s wrong.
think of something else when you think of it
o yeah, right. Been there, done that. Once you start thinking of it the first time, it haunts
you. Even if you get it out of your mind, it invades your thoughts and dreams without
warning. The only way this would work is if you stopped thinking of it the first time.
Understanding porn/nudity/masturbation
o There’s one site that really hammers on “and the truth shall set you free!” thinking that
if you understood how terrible porn was and how abusive it was to the people you see,
you wouldn’t want to do it anymore. It’s a cool and interesting thought when you are
wanking, but in reality, it doesn’t stop you.
feeling un-exclusive
o many people say that you shouldn’t meet other people with the same struggle as you
because it would make it harder for the both of you to get out. But, as you have seen,
I’ve grown skeptical of others. I don’t know if they’re wrong or right, but I do know that
knowing that there are others who struggle with the same stuff as me helps a whole lot.
It gives me drive- like I am not alone, and they can get out, I can, too.
Acting like I’m free
o putting up a façade is not hard for me- I have learned to do it every day, though I don’t
like doing it anymore. Yet, I’ve found that just acting like I’m free without doing anything
doesn’t work. If you are trying to be a great actor, you don’t just act like an actor, you
train to be tons better than the great actors you know. I don’t know- this made me feel
good for a while, but I would always get struck down.
Acting like a slave
o this is just depressing. Many think that experiencing enough pain because of something
causes people to want to change- on the contrary, it just makes me depressed. I feel like
I get chained up in the basement of the Devil, screaming and crying for someone to save
me, but to no avail. Only the devil will come, and when he comes, and uses his
tantalizing “are you ready to play?” I get forced to destruction. I try and I pull from my
chains, and sometimes, I get so crazy that I think they break, and I get these visions,
thinking I am free, and running wherever I want to- but no; I’m still in my little cell, cold
and chained, alone. After a while, I decided that this isn’t the best way to thinkalthough it feels good to think this way. I guess a lot of us get depressed because deep
down, depression is the only thing that gives us comfort. Feeling like there is no way out
is a heck of a lot better of a feeling than there’s a way, but I just can’t figure it out, or
people aren’t willing to help me get out. But alas, I’ve got to think differently- I’m trying
to get out, after all
o The other way to think is like a slave of Christ. But that is also pretty depressing, because
for some strange reason, I’m not getting disciplined like I should- I sin, and I ask for
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discipline so I can learn from my mistakes, but I get nothing, which makes me kinda sad
that God isn’t helping. Or maybe He isn’t there. Either way, I try to discipline myself to
compensate. ... I don’t like going there- but anything’s fair game at this point.
Being uber-confident
o this has had potential of working, depending on how you do it. If you’re just all like, “Yo
dawg, there ain’t no way in the world that I’m ever gonna screw up- I’m totally better
than that!” That won’t work. Plus, you are using a double-negative, which is logistically
stupid. The way temptation works is like water. It’ll wait. It’ll wait as long as it takes. This
gives you energy for about 30 minutes or something, and then it’ll be ready to strike. Or
maybe not- but it definitely won’t last you 2 weeks or something
o the other option is to say that you realize that you can fail, and that it is very real.
However, you are going to chug through as hard as you can- you will go simply until you
cannot go anymore. Some weightlifters go until their muscle tissue literally too ripped
up to do anything more- it’s just impossible. This is what this kind of confidence is.
No reason
o Trying to use the words of the big wolf against him- you aren’t gonna watch porn simply
because you aren’t. No particular reason- you know you want to, but you just aren’t. It’s
hard to pull off sometimes, but it works if you can get it to. Definitely not a failsafe, but
it’ll get you out of a strange snitch if the conditions are right.
counting days/setting goals
o bad idea. many people can tell you that. if you set a goal, once you complete the goal,
you go back to just as bad or worse than you were, and nearing the end, things always
get really hard, no matter the goal. If you count days, as soon as you get near to your
record, things get really hard, and if you pass it, it gets a ton easier to slip up. Best to
stop trying to count- it takes a bit of practice to forget counting, but it is much more
worth it to not have that hang over your head- having anything that hangs over your
head is almost always an indicator of a bad thing.
“Not this day!”
o This is great for some situations- when you are within the 1-3 week range, this is great.
“There may be a day when I fap, but it is not this day!” Again, about as failsafe as you let
it be, but it is helpful in certain situations.
Pick yourself up v. think about the weight of what you did
o I’ve run into this controversy a ton. Do you think about what you did, so you can
understand that you sinned and attempt to understand the weight of what you did (so
that you can learn not to do it again), or do you immediately pick yourself up, brush
yourself off, and charge again? What I’ve noticed is that when you don’t feel terrible
about what you did every now and again, when being tempted, it’s hard to say that
you’ll feel bad about it later- especially if you just brush yourself off and keep going. Yet,
if you feel depressed and such, it makes it a lot easier to slip up next time because you
think, “What’s one more? I’m already screwed.” or “The day isn’t over, and His mercies
are new every morning- you still have got a bit left you can do without shame”- and you
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fall much more easily in this time. So, basically, between the two, I recommend brushing
yourself off, but I think that just collapsing and crying is okay, too. I do that.
taking everything off my bed/sheets (or completely sleeping on the floor)
o This is really nice. Whatever I can do to make myself feel like a lone ranger-man guy, like
a gentleman survivalist, the better. When I think of myself as becoming a true man, I
think of being righteous, strong, dependable, chivalrous, firm, you know, stuff like that. I
also kinda figure that the less I have to depend on for survival (like a mattress and
pillow), and the more I can get used to not having that stuff, the more I can do with my
life. Besides, I’ve personally found that stuff like sleeping on the floor is good for the
mind, soul, and body. I just love it, and I hate going back to my bed now- it feels weird,
and it’s a heck of a lot more tempting. Being in a bed under covers is just the perfect
place for your manhood to go crazy and have a party- slight pressure on your body, but
not too much; warmth, but not too warm; sweaty, but just smelly; dark; quiet; soft and
smooth; I can’t think of any better place for your mind to get ideas. So, I do whatever
possible to make my sleep not only safe from temptation, but also to train me to be a
totally awesome survivalist gentleman guy. I just learned last night (1/17/14) that you
don’t even need a pillow if you sleep stomach-down or put your hands behind your
head.
talking to God
o kinda works- but only if you are willing to do what He says. And when I am being
tempted, I don’t always want to just flat-out trust Him and just not jizz. It’s kinda hard to
do .
not stopping
o okay, so there was one instance where I came to thinking, “well, guys were made to be
ready to get down to biz since they were 15, so maybe they are supposed to be able to
relieve themselves without thinking sexually.” Or, at least, I was recommended this
thought. Now, although this is a marvelously workable plot, I must say that I do not
agree for now. Yes, I do say that it stops interaction with myself pretty well and for a
good while, for I feel that my desires are just a desire to ejaculate, not to fantasize, and
that I am free to do the former. When I come to terms on this, I tell myself that I can
really wait a good while longer before I need to let out data. However, I have found
three potential problems with the philosophy behind this- 1. many others from 2000
years ago were able to withstand, so I can, too. I doubt that Joseph from the Nativity
Story did this before he met Mary- indeed, many use this as argument that because
both of them were so young when they wed, it was not unnatural or all too difficult for
Joseph to wait that long. However, reports have found that Joseph had the potential of
being thirty when he married Mary, so that argument cannot be used for or against our
situation. 2. It may have been against Levitical law. In Leviticus, the Law said that any
man who was to eject semen from his body was to sacrifice 2 doves- my point being
that here, the Law condones the action, not the thought. Yes, some may counter with
the accusation that all Levitical law was action, not a state of being, thereby meaning
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that there were commonly thoughts behind the actions, or reasons behind each law.
However, not only is “love the lord thy God” not an action, but a state of being, but God
would not have gone overkill on His own commandments. Yes, if God proposed
exceptions to His laws, He would have pointed out the exception here of being
unmarried and just doing the natural duty of a body. Many men back then were actually
quite old when they married- they still had to obey the law, and God did not make any
exceptions for them. Why, then, would He make exceptions today? Because of these
reasons, I have found that God does not shine favorably on this whole idea of
ejaculation- yes, He does not like the motives behind it, but I do not believe that He
intended for us to do stuff to ourselves to fulfill some natural bodily addiction, like
eating and drinking. Finally—and I am spending so much time on this one subject
because some find themselves very strong in their case for this—I have never had the
pleasure of being able to experience an excretion of memory from my manhood without
some sort of stimulation apart from a physical one. I have come to the conclusion that it
is impossible. The whole process is a mental one, and just about everything happens in
the brain. Even physical motion to stimulate such a thing, if not accompanied with
specific thought, will produce nothing. At least, this has been my repeated experience. I
have found, based on experience, that this is an entirely mental process, manifested in
the physical- if the physical is the only thing to exist, than the mental stimulation to
carry it out will not work. Even when the great desire for mental stimulation is present,
without it, the physical reaction does not seem to occur.
challenge the Devil
o This’un’s a toughie. It’s really what got me started in this whole mess in the first place,
but you’ve gotta be confident that you can get out, right? I guess be confident and sure,
but don’t be arrogant and stupid. Just about everyone I’ve told that I challenged the
devil told me that I was doing a great thing and that the Devil didn’t know what was
coming to him or something. Uh, I think he did. And I think he just goes, “really? Okaylet’s see how you like this- I’ma make your life totally miserable, and make you totally
separated from God.” Not cool, bro.
awesome friends
o enough said- I had one friend who was there for me 24/7, and we normally talked about
my problems. But that’s okay- we were like best friends, and he was an invaluable ally in
this battle-thing (I don’t even know what to call it).
crazy weird solutions to crazy weird problems
o how do you solve a crazy weird problem? with PONIES!!! I just think that you’ve gotta
find something that distracts you well, and is weird and as much of a social outcast-type
thing as porn, and has strange qualities about it that are kinda attractive for who-knowswhy. I’m not saying I understand any of this- but it really helps me.
don’t worry
o Worrying is a total enemy. I spent like 4 years brainstorming ways to get out, day in and
day out. That just made me think of it a heck of a lot more, which means that I stumbled
Things I’ve Tried
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a heck of a lot more because I had a ton more battles to fight than otherwise. Basically,
just don’t sweat it- emotion and determination seem to get me nowhere. I prefer just
calm, serious, It’s-just-not-going-to-happen-itiveness.
“That’s not me”
o telling yourself that this is you are a changed man, or a changed person through Christ,
and that this porn is not a part of your identity, and that it’s not a part of you, actually
helps. Like a lot of other things, it’s not a miracle worker, but it does help a good bit.
Acting normal
o being just like everyone else is the goal, so why not believe and act as if you are normal?
It’ll help in certain circumstances.
being a gentleman
o this is nice, and pairs extremely nicely with uber-hydra (next). the site
artofmanliness.com is all about reviving the real man in every man that has been
clouded by the attitudes of modern society- it’s about being the way a man used to be
known to be- a strong, firm, sure man with loads of character and stuff (my explanations
really don’t do it justice).
going uber-hydra
o this isn’t even my final form! This is just as great as being a brony, and is the other of my
two most recommended things. We, as citizens, get comfortable, and when our bodies
don’t have trouble, our minds make trouble (if you get my drift). So, I’m talking about
being a hydra- one who deliberately seeks problems and disorder to gain from it. What
do I mean? I mean doing crazy stuff like taking showers using only cold water, sleeping
on the floor with no pillow or blankets, working out like your life depended on it, stuff
like that. What’s awesome is that all of this stuff is actually much better for your body
than the alternative, and it makes you totally feel like a James Bond (who spent several
minutes a day thinking about a lost love in his morning cold shower before he walked
out and killed the hired assassin hiding in his closet with only a towel and a brandy) or a
MacGyver or something. When you force your body into stuff like that, not only does it
make your body kick-butt amazing, but it forces it to grow out of that stupid, apathetic,
I’m-comfortable-so-I’ll-look-for-mental-excitement deal. Sure, doing this skyrockets your
testosterone, which is supposed to make you tons more susceptible to porn, but I have
found it to help a whole ton- because if you can deliberately freeze your butt numb in a
shower every day just because you want to, temptation’s got nothing on you. The
Vikings would jump from a really hot room right out into the snow or in an ice-cold pool
because it was manly. That’s what I’m talking about. Do crazy things that will make you
kick-butt amazing.
YouTube
o Think of it this way- you are being crazy tempted to type into the YouTube search bar,
“teen feet lesbian” because you know you can get a whole ton of unrestricted stuff
there that no blocker filters. What do you do? At the last moment, you randomly type
“Cartoon Hangover”! After that, you don’t normally want to go back. I kinda just make
Things I’ve Tried
compromises with myself in my brain- I say “Yo dude, I don’t want this, but you do. How
about I watch this video, and if you still want to do it just as much, I’ll watch what you
want?” (me and my brain are bros).That works pretty well- if I can get myself to the
point of doing that.