REFERENCES:
1.
Cohan, C.L. and S. Kleinbaum. 2004. Toward a Greater Understanding of the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital
Cohabitation and Marital Communication. Journal of Marriage and Family 64: 180-192.
Kline, G. H., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., Olmos-Gallo, P. A., St. Peters, M., Whitton, S. W., & Prado, L. M. 2004.
Timing is everything: Pre-engagement cohabitation and increased risk for poor marital outcomes. Journal of Family
Psychology 18: 311-318.
Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., S Markman, H. J. 2004. Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or
nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues 25: 490-519.
Thomson, E. and U. Colella. 1992. Cohabitation and marital stability: Quality or commitment? Journal of Marriage
and the Family 54: 259-267.
2.
Nock, S.L. 1995. A Comparison of Marriages and Cohabiting Relationships. Journal of Family Issues 16: 53-76.
Stafford, L., Kline, S.L, & Rankin, C.T. 2004. Married Individuals, Cohabiters, and Cohabiters Who Marry: A
Longitudinal Study of Relational and Individual Well-Being. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21: 231-248.
Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., S Markman, H. J. 2004. Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or
nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues 25: 490-519.
3.
Axinn, W. G. and J. S. Barber. 1997. Living Arrangements and Family Formation Attitudes in Early Adulthood. Journal
of Marriage and the Family 59:595-611.
Axinn, W., and A. Thornton. 1992. The Relationship between Cohabitation and Divorce: Selectivity or Causal
Influence? Demography 29: 357-374.
4.
Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., and Amato, P. R. 2003. The relationship between cohabitation and marital quality
and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 539-549.
Stafford, L., Kline, S.L, & Rankin, C.T. 2004. Married Individuals, Cohabiters, and Cohabiters Who Marry: A
Longitudinal Study of Relational and Individual Well-Being. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21: 231-248.
Thomson, E. and U. Colella. 1992. Cohabitation and marital stability: Quality or commitment? Journal of Marriage
and the Family 54: 259-267.
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Rhoades, G. K., Petrella, J. N., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. 2006. Premarital cohabitation, husbands'
commitment, and wives' satisfaction with the division of household contributions. Marriage and Family Review 40:
5–22.
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DeMaris, A., Rao, K. V. 1992. Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability in the United States: A
Reassessment. Journal of Marriage and the Family 54: 178-190.
Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., & Amato, P. R. 2003. The relationship between cohabitation
and marital quality and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 539-549.
Phillips, J. A. and M. M. Sweeney. 2005. Premarital Cohabitation and the Risk of Marital Disruption among White,
Black, and Mexican American Women. Journal of Marriage and Family 67:296-314.
J. Teachman. 2003. Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among
Women. Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 444-455.
Stanley, S. M., Amato, P. R., Johnson, C. A., & Markman, H. J. 2006. Premarital education, marital quality, and
marital stability: Findings from a large, random, household survey. Journal of Family Psychology 20: 117-126.
Paik, A. 2011. Adolescent Sexuality and the Risk of Marital Dissolution. Journal of Marriage and Family 73: 472 DOI:
10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00819.x.
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Cohan, C.L. and S. Kleinbaum. 2004. Toward a Greater Understanding of the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital
Cohabitation and Marital Communication. Journal of Marriage and Family 64: 180-192.
Kamp Dush, C. M., Cohan, C. L., and Amato, P. R. 2003. The relationship between cohabitation and marital quality
and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and Family 65: 539-549.
Kline, G. H., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., Olmos-Gallo, P. A., St Peters, M., Whitton, S. W., S Prado, L. 2004. Timing
is everything: Pre-engagement cohabitation and increased risk for poor marital outcomes. Journal of Family
Psychology 18: 311-318.
Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., S Markman, H. J. 2004. Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or
nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues 25: 490-519.
Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J. 2000. Pre-engagement cohabitation and gender asymmetry in marital
commitment. Journal of Family Psychology 20: 553-500.
8.
Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., S Markman, H. J. 2009. Couples' reasons for cohabitation: Associations with individual
well-being and relationship quality. Journal of Family Issues 30: 233-258.
Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K, & Markman, H. J. (2006). Sliding vs. Deciding: Inertia and the premarital cohabitation
effect. Family Relations 55: 499-509.
Is Living Together Before
Marriage a Good Idea?
by Rich Deem
INTRODUCTION
Common "wisdom" says that living together in a "trial marriage" is a
good way to determine if couples are compatible before marriage.
Does this idea really work? What are the factors that lead to a good
marriage and how can we know if the other person is right for us?
Cohabitation - the studies
There have actually been numerous studies that have examined
whether living together before marriage is a good idea. The data shows
that people who have multiple cohabiting relationships before
marriage are more likely to experience more negative communication
in marriage,1 lower levels of marital satisfaction,2 the erosion over time
of the perceived value of marriage,3 higher perceived marital
instability,4 lower levels of male commitment to spouse,5 and greater
likelihood of divorce6 than people who do not cohabit before marriage.
Although some of these effects might be due to the characteristics of
people who cohabit (e.g., they tend to move from one relationship to
another), recent studies suggest that selection is not involved,7 but
that the cohabitation experience itself contributes to problems in
marriage. The reason why cohabitation may setup couples for failure in
marriage is because cohabitation is just a test. Since all couples suffer
from some incompatibility, when the other partner "fails" the test, the
person moves on to the next partner. A succession of cohabitation
failures results in an inability to maintain commitment - the most
important part of a marriage relationship. Recent research shows that
most couples who cohabit do not do so as a trial marriage, but just
slide into it without any particular intent.8
http://www.godandscience.org/doctrine/livingtogether.html
DIRECTIONS: On a separate sheet of paper answer the following
questions:
COHABITATION ARTICLE:
1. List 6 things that studies show about Cohabitating Relationships:
2. Why does the Cohabitation Experience Contribute to Problems in
Marriage?
3. What are arguments that couples may offer for reasons to
cohabitate?
4. How does recent research show that most couples start
cohabitating?
5. What is the basis for the moral reason that the Church opposes
cohabitation? Which of the 7 deadly sins is involved?
6. Which of the 10 Commandments are put at risk in cohabitation?
(Exodus 20:1-17; Deuteronomy 5:1-21)
7. How does Cohabitation violate the Greatest of Commandments?
(Matthew 22:36-40)
OXYTOCIN = HUMAN SUPERGLUE ARTICLE:
1. What impact does oxytocin have in a cohabitating relationship?
2. What is the impact of oxytocin and multiple sexual partners on the
ability to bond with a future spouse?
3. Narcissism is defined as: “Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose
view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration.” Thinking
about the impact of oxytocin, how does pornography and
masturbation lead to narcissism?
SCIENCE AND THE THEOLOGY OF THE BODY:
Oxytocin = Human Superglue
In the January 2006 issue of Discover magazine, a summary of the top 100 scientific
stories of 2005 was published. Number 83 was entitled "Inhaled 'Cuddle' Hormone
Promotes Trust." The article was referring to oxytocin, a neuro-peptide (hormone)
that is released by the pituitary gland of the brain during childbirth, breastfeeding,
and intercourse, working as human "superglue."
It has long been known that oxytocin causes emotional bonding and impairs critical
thinking ability and memory. New research shows that it also increases trust.
This trust factor was discovered when scientists had several people inhale the
hormone prior to testing them in a financial investment game. The subjects who had
taken a whiff of oxytocin were "substantially more willing to trust strangers with their
money." In fact, they were more than twice as likely to give all they owned toward a
foolish investment. The article concluded that when it comes to relationships,
"Oxytocin may affect the extent of these negative evaluations, causing us to say, 'Oh,
this won't be too bad.'"
How does this all apply to sexual relationships? Since oxytocin is released during
intercourse, sexually-active couples experience emotional bonding, decreased critical
thinking abilities, impaired memories of negative experiences, and increased trust. In
marriage, this is ideal. But when it comes to sexually active teenagers, it can be
disastrous.
For example, have you ever had a friend who was in a dead-end relationship where
he or she was getting used, and no matter what you tried to say to the person or how
bad things got, he or she just couldn't seem to see the problems? Or, the person
couldn't muster up the will to break off the relationship. This is partly because
oxytocin blinds us and binds us. Not only does this prolong bad dating relationships, it
often impairs a couple from making a smart marriage decision. They feel so close
because of the sexual intimacy that they are unable to see the real value of the
relationship. In other words, they're more likely to make a bad decision and enter
into marriage that could end in divorce.
Since estrogen enhances the oxytocin response, women are capable of more intense
bonding than men and usually suffer more from broken bonds. According to Drs.
Diggs and Keroack, “People who have misused their sexual faculty and become
bonded to multiple persons will diminish the power of oxytocin to maintain a
permanent bond with an individual.” Can you imagine the ramifications of this in a
culture that openly embraces unbridled sexual relationships? People who damage
the ability to bond-due to too many past, intimate relationships-will have a harder
time bonding with their future spouse.
God created us to become one flesh with our spouses, but when we disregard His
laws, we disregard the design of our own bodies.
SOURCE: “Theology of the Body for Teens: Discovering Dos’ Plan for Love and Life” by
Ascension Press (2006). Student Workbook. p. 122.