It Must Be Clear
1
An introduction to good writing practice
Dr Cormac O’Raifeartaigh
Waterford Institute of Technology
Overview
I What constitutes good writing?
 Clarity, precision and conciseness
 Easy examples
 Technical papers vs general articles
II How do we achieve good writing?
 Planning
 Draft writing
 Re-writing
 Proof-reading
Punctuation
Sources
 Good Writing Guide
University of Wales, Aberystwyth
 Mind The Stop (G.V. Carey)
Pengiun
 Eats, Shoots & Leaves (Lynne Truss)
Profile Books
 A Field Guide for Science Writers
Oxford
(Blum, Knudson and Henig)
 Sentence Clarity and Combining
Purdue University Writing Lab
What is good writing?
4
Good writing is
 clear:
 precise:
 concise:
easy to understand
says exactly what is meant
to the point
appropriate to audience and context
Six rules (Orwell)
• Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are
used to seeing in print
• Never use a long word where a short one will do
• If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out
• Never use the passive where you can use the active
• Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can
think of an everyday English equivalent
• Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
George Orwell "Politics and the English Language", 1946
Example: inappropriate writing
6
“In view of the restrictions on the use of acetyl hydride
derivatives as anti-bacterial agents imposed by recent
secondary legislation, the attention of members of the estates
maintenance staff is drawn to the need, subject to any
overriding health and safety considerations, to avoid using
proprietary anti-bacterial agents that do not display the relevant
certification mark”.
[from instructions issued to cleaners]
See RM
Writing that is unclear
7
Three types of unclarity
 the meaning can be guessed
 the meaning cannot be guessed
 the meaning can be misunderstood
good writing cannot be misunderstood
Example: writing that is unclear
8
When entering the data regarding the student’s registered modules,
modules that are core to the scheme or schemes for which the student
originally entered the institution should be entered before optional or
elective modules, except in the case where such modules can be the
subject of accredited prior learning, in which case the registration for them
should be entered using the APL screen, unless it is known that the
programme/module combination is specifically excluded by the programme
specification.
[from the user manual for a student record system]
Example: writing that is unclear
 Leonora walked on her head a little higher than usual
 Don’t guess, use a timer or watch
 He shot himself as a child
 No dogs please
 The convict said the judge is mad
 The people in the queue who managed to get tickets were satisfied
 The driver managed to escape from the boat before it sank and swam to the
riverbank
 “FAN’S FURY AT STADIUM INQUIRY”
 “Now I must go and get on my lover”
Eats, shoots and leaves
Example: writing that is imprecise
10
“Due to the installation of new doors, keys may be collected in the
estates office”
“Tickets may be purchased upstairs”
“Re-fills will be brought to the tables in the mornings”
“I, Graham Greene, grant permission to Norman Sherry, my authorised
biographer, excluding any other, to quote from my copyright material..”
 “Am I looking at my dinner or the dogs?”
Examples from science
 Four fundamental forces in nature exist: gravity, electromagnetism, the
strong nuclear force and the weak nuclear force
 It is now thought that the four ‘fundamental’ forces originally comprised a
single superforce; this force gradually split into four separate forces shortly
after the Big Bang
 Because the speed of light is finite, we see distant galaxies as they were
many millions of years ago
 Kepler discovered that the orbits of the planets are elliptical
How is good writing achieved?
12
 Reading
 Critical reading
 Distinguishing between good writing and poor
 Planning
 Early writing
 Re-writing (x 10)
 Proof-reading
Type of Article
13
•
•
•
•
•
•
Scholarly writing (specific)
Original research paper
Research letter
Funding proposal/report
Talking about research area (general)
Overview article for funding body
Feature article for magazine (RM)
Feature article for newspaper
Type of Audience
14
• Researchers?
Display knowledge of area
Be accurate and to the point
Present results clearly
Offer interpretation
• General audience?
Don’t assume prior knowledge
Use plain language
Don’t be too specific
Beware of over-simplification
Planning: Stage One
15
• Am I clear on the precise topic?
• Which journal/magazine?
• What format of article?
• Who is the reader?
• What is the length of the article?
• What are the points you wish to make?
Avoid the computer at this stage
Early writing: the first drafts








Write, write, write
Include all possible points you wish to make
Ignore grammar, syntax, spelling
Impose rough logical order on points
Use multiple drafts in series
Parallel drafts? Plan B
Consider order of paragraphs
Consider order of sentences
Re-writing
 Do not re-write too early
 Re-read background material, early drafts
 New points to include?
 Discard minor points, discard Plan B
Eventually…..time to rewrite…send in the grammar police
 Impose the laws of grammar
 Impose basic punctuation
 Improve sentence clarity
 Improve paragraph clarity
Another 5-10 drafts: rd x 2
The final drafts: proof-reading
 Take time over re-writing
 But not too much…
 Show to others – internal, external
 Ask for feedback on structure, content, language
 Incorporate new ideas
 Re-write carefully
 Final proof-reading:BE VERY CAREFUL
It Must Be Clear
II:Punctuation
19
Keep it simple





Avoid long sentences
Use semi-colons and colons
Use commas judiciuosly
Use brackets, italics and other aids
Avoid too much passive tense
Exercise: sentence formation
20
When the proposals for establishing the Institute of
Rubber Technology were under discussion, it was
agreed that the Director would be accountable for the
management of the Institute and its budget to the ViceChancellor of the University, and that a Steering Group,
representing the interests of the University and the
rubber industry in Britain and including one or more
eminent figures from the world of rubber technology,
should be formed to provide an independent source of
advice to the Director and sponsors of the Institute
about the Institute’s policies, research programmes and
business plans, together with a Management Committee
appointed by Senate to promote close links between the
Institute, on the one hand, and the University and the
National Rubber Authority on the other.
Solution
21
When the proposals for forming the Institute of Rubber
Technology were under discussion, it was agreed that
the Director would be accountable to the ViceChancellor of the University for the management of the
Institute and its budget. A Steering Group would be
formed to provide an independent source of advice to
the Director and the sponsors of the Institute about the
Institute’s policies, research programmes and business
plans. The Steering Group would represent the
University and the British rubber industry and would
include one or more eminent figures from the world of
rubber technology. A Management Committee would
be appointed by Senate to promote close links between
the Institute, on the one hand, and the University and the
National Rubber Authority on the other.
Punctuation
22
 The full-stop
 The semi-colon and the colon
 The comma
 The apostrophe
Special guest
 The passive tense
The semi-colon
23
semicolon = semi full-stop
Def: if a sentence can be split into two independent sentences without adding,
deleting, or changing any words, the correct punctuation mark is the semi-colon
“The candidate did not make a very good impression; he looked as
though he needed a good wash”
“WIT has 5000 students; most drive to college”
“Ireland is a small country; issues of scale arise”
Note: the second phrase is related to the first
The semi-colon vs the splice comma
24
“UCW has about 7,000 students; almost all of them are full time.”
but not
“UCW has about 7,000 students, almost all of them are full
time.”
Possible:
“UCW has about 7,000 students, almost all of whom are full
time.”
The colon
25
Similar to semicolon but:
Provides specific information relevant to the preceding clause
Used in a list
Used for effect
Examples: colon
“The chief exports of the country are: coal, copper, lead, wool, timber, and small
boys”
“All sorts of people turned up for the seminar: doctors, scientists, and even
philosophers”
“The following articles were found on his person: a wallet containing a three-euro
note, an empty brandy flask, two pipes and a matchbox”
“My circumstances are now different: I am married, with a home of my own”
“You have two chances: fat and slim”
The comma
27
Four main types of comma use
 The listing comma
The conjunctive comma
The sub-clause commas
The speech commas
Note: avoid the splice comma
The listing comma
28
In a list of items, use a comma after each one except,
possibly, the last
“Non-linear data structures include trees, graphs and
heaps.”
“The PDP11 proved to be a fast, cheap, and reliable
computer that everyone liked”
“Trees, graphs, and heaps, are all instances of non-linear
data structures.”
Note: omission of final comma not fixed rule
The conjunctive comma
29
“Trees, graphs, and heaps, and many others, are instances of non-linear
data structures.”
“The PDP11 proved to be a fast, cheap, and reliable computer , but noone liked it much”
“The firms involved were Harrods, Lyons, Marks and Spencers, and
Woolworths”
“Hammersmith, Brentford and Chiswick, Fulham, and Wandsworth”
©University of Wales, Aberystwyth
The sub-clause commas
30
“The best way to sort a list, unless you are sure that it is nearly
ordered already, is to use Hoare’s algorithm.”
Some scientists insist, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that
cats have five legs
“Aberystwyth, a small town on the Welsh coast, is the home of the
National Library.”
“Despite the best efforts of the Bush administration, a general
consensus that man-made emissions are a significant driver of
enhanced global warming has emerged”
Don’t omit the twin
©University of Wales, Aberystwyth
The speech comma
31
She asked, “Why?”, but he did not answer
They shouted , “Out”, and out he went
“Go ‘way”, the little girl cried in response to his lullaby
Danger: the splice comma
32
Do not join two unrelated statements
Today is Monday, my name is Jack
I enjoyed the meal, we went to the cinema
Do not join two related statements
The waves were good, we went surfing
WIT is a very good college, I have been here 3 years
Apostrophes
33
Apostrophes have two distinct roles
 to indicate possession
(shortens a sentence)
 to show where letters have been omitted
(shortens a word)
They should never be used to form a plural
The possessive apostrophe
34
 if A is singular and does not end in an s or a z
write John’s book
 if A is singular and ends in an s or a z
write Charles’s beer (with exceptions)
 if A is plural and ends in an s, then write A’
e.g. the students’ rooms
 If A is plural but does not end in s, write A’s X
 e.g. the Iceni’s chariots
Example AC, RM
Counterexamples
 “The judges decision is final”
 Two Weeks Notice (film)
 “BOB,S PETS”
 “DEAD SONS PHOTOS MAY BE RELEASED”
 “Am I looking at my dinner or the dogs?”
 “CD’s, DVD’s, Video’s, and Book’s”
 Apple’s, oranges’ and pears’
 “Illiterate’s Entrance”
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Tips for apostrophes
36
Write/read carefully
Avoid apostrophes in complex expressions
The King of Spain’s daughter
 the SSADM entity life histories’ diagrammatic format
(the diagrammatic format of the SSADM entity life histories )
‘An exploration of Community Mental Health Nurses’ views
and practices in relation to The Metabolic Syndrome’
The omission apostrophe
37
Shows that one or more letters have been omitted
 we can’t go
 we mustn’t go
 we won’t go
 it’s all over
Nothing to do with possession
Its and it’s
38
A common error is to write it’s for its.
It’s :
Its:
a contracted form of it is;
the possessive form of it (exception)
It’s raining
The cat wagged its tail
The baby ate its formula
“It’s an ill wind that blows its own trumpet.”
Tip: always use ‘it is’
The passive
39
A clause is passive if it has a structure such as
“The man was bitten by the dog”
“The web page is loaded by the browser”
A clause is active if it has a structure such as
“The dog bit the man”
“The browser loads the web page”
How not to use the passive.
40
 Drinks are not allowed to be brought into this building
 Bringing drinks into this building is forbidden
 Work cannot be submitted after the semester is over
 You may not submit work after the semester
 Music cannot be performed while the red light is on
 Do not perform music if the light is on
When to use the passive (1)
41
To avoid stating who carried out an action
( if the reader doesn’t need to know)
The next module is then loaded from the disc
A dozen samples were tested
The prisoners were killed
The bodies were disposed of
When to use the passive (2)
42
To put the emphasis in the right place
The World Wide Web was invented by an English physicist
The internet was invented by the American military
When to use the passive (3)
43
To make a good transition from one sentence to the next
The TREE_SORT module invokes the COMPARE function. The
user must instantiate this module
(the references to the TREE_SORT module are far apart)
The COMPARE function is invoked by the TREE_SORT module.
The user must instantiate this module.
Summary
Clarity: make it easy to understand
Precision: say what you mean
Conciseness: don’t waste words
Good writing is appropriate to context
Good writing is easy to understand