CONFLICT
Greenville UU Fellowship
Covenant Group Session Plan
Welcome, Chalice Lighting: Let our sharing together provide a place where memories are rooted, where
mysteries are pondered, where dreams are nourished, where love is freely given, where failures are owned
and accepted, where sorrows are transformed, where our lives are deepened, challenged and uplifted and
where we can share the gift of laughter. Let this be such a time and place.
~Adapted from Rev.David E. Bumbaugh
Personal Check In: Share something from your life since we last met and how you are feeling now.
Opening Words:
Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.
~Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the USA from 1981-1989. 1911-2004.
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable,
unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step
out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
~M. Scott Peck, American psychiatrist and author, 1936- 2005.
Questions to prompt and guide discussion:
1. What is the most difficult conflict you have ever faced? How did you deal with it?
2. Do you agree that “All conflicts can be traced back to someone’s feelings getting hurt”? Why or why
not?
3. What kinds of moral conflicts have you experienced?
4. Is there a difference between “compromise” and “giving in”?
5. Describe a conflict that occurred because your needs or your understanding of someone else's needs
were unmet.
6. How does communication play a role in conflict?
7. Do you agree that a person must figure out how they contributed to the creation of a conflict before
resolution can take place? Why or why not?
Readings
[W]e are not going to deal with the violence in our communities, our homes, and our nation, until we learn to
deal with the basic ethic of how we resolve our disputes and to place an emphasis on peace in the way we
relate to one another.
~Marian Wright Edelman, American activist for the rights of children and author.
At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.
~Marshall Rosenberg, American psychologist, creator of Nonviolent Communication, 1934-2015.
The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.
~Martin Luther King, Jr., American Baptist minister, activist, humanitarian, and leader in the African-American Civil
Rights Movement. 1929-1968.
If you want to bring an end to long-standing conflict, you have to be prepared to compromise.
~Aung San Suu Kyi, Burmese opposition politician and chairperson of the National League for Democracy in Burma.
Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn't
listening.
~Emma Thompson, British actress, comedienne, screenwriter, and author.
Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
~Marshall Rosenberg
All conflict can be traced back to someone’s feelings getting hurt, don’t you think?
~Liane Moriarty, Australian author.
Resolution, like responsibility, is a product of ownership, and kids can't resolve a conflict until they figure out
how they contributed to it.
~Richard Eyre, Consultant, speaker, and author .
The best weapon is to sit down and talk.
~Nelson Mandela, South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, politician, and philanthropist who served as President of
South Africa from 1994 to 1999. 1918-2013.
Sharing - (This is a time to speak without interruption and for deep listening. Deep listening means no
interrupting, no fixing, no saving, no advising, and no setting each other straight. Please share one or more
responses to the session questions)
Sitting in Silence
Open Discussion: -(This is a time to respond to something another person said about the topic or to relate
additional thoughts that may have occurred as others shared their thoughts on this topic. Continue to
practice deep listening.)
Closing reading:
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. All works of love are works
of peace.
~Mother Theresa, also known as Teresa of Calcutta, MC, was a Roman Catholic religious sister and missionary.
Announcements / Plans
Check out: As we close today, how are you feeling now?
Extinguish the Chalice