Aberconwy MIND - Anger Management Programme
Anger Management Programme
In this first session, you will get a general overview of the anger management programme. This
includes the purpose of the group, group rules, definitions of anger and aggression, myths about
anger, anger as a habitual response and the introduction of the anger meter used to monitor anger.
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What we will be doing in session 1 …

Introduction

What is anger?

The aggression cycle

Anger – 4 myths

The function of the amygdala and neocortex

Triggers and cues – ‘red flags’ exercise

‘Emotional’ and ‘wise mind’

Stress vulnerability

Resilience – 5 ways to wellbeing

The ‘Mood Meter’ – record forms and assignments
Group Rules
Group Safety – Violence or threats of violence toward staff or other group members will result in
discharge from the group
Confidentiality - Group members should not discuss outside of the group what other members say
Behavioural assignments - Brief assignments will be given each week
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When Anger Becomes a Problem
Anger is an emotion that ranges from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. People sometimes
confuse anger with aggression. ‘Aggression’ is behaviour that is intended to cause harm or injury to
another person or damage to property. ‘Hostility’ refers to a set of attitudes and judgments that
motivate aggressive behaviour.
Anger becomes a problem when it is unwarranted, felt too intensely, felt too frequently or is
expressed inappropriately. Feeling anger too intensely or frequently places physical strain on the
body and emotional strain on ourselves and the people around us
Payoffs and Consequences
The inappropriate expression of anger initially has apparent payoffs (e.g., releasing tension,
controlling people, making something happen). In the long-term, however, these payoffs lead to
negative consequences. The long-term negative consequences often outweigh the short-term gains.
The Aggression Cycle
An episode of anger can be viewed as consisting of three phases: escalation, explosion, and postexplosion. Together, these three phases make up the aggression cycle.
The escalation phase includes cues that show anger is building.
‘Cues’ are warning signs, or responses, to anger-provoking events.
If the escalation phase is allowed to continue the explosion phase will follow. The explosion phase is
marked by an uncontrollable discharge of anger that is displayed as verbal or physical aggression.
The post-explosion phase is characterized by the consequences that result from the verbal or
physical aggression displayed during the explosion phase. These consequences may include going to
prison, making restitution, being terminated from a job, being discharged from a drug treatment or
social services programme, losing family and loved ones or feelings of guilt, shame and regret.
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The Aggression Cycle and the Anger Meter
The ‘escalation’ and ‘explosion’ phases of the aggression cycle correspond to levels on the anger
meter. Points below 10 represent the escalation phase, the building up of anger. The explosion
phase corresponds to a ‘10’ on the anger meter.
‘10’ on the anger meter shows when you lose control and express anger through verbal or physical
aggression that leads to negative consequences.
One of the objectives of anger management treatment is to prevent reaching the explosion phase.
This is accomplished by using the anger meter to monitor changing levels of anger, attending to the
cues or warning signs that indicate anger is building, and using the appropriate skills to stop the
escalation of anger.
If the explosion phase is prevented, the post explosion phase will not occur and the aggression cycle
will be broken.
•
What phase of the aggression cycle are you in if you reach ‘7’ on the anger meter?
•
What phase are you in if you reach ‘10’ on the anger meter?
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Based on the Cycle of Violence by Lenore Walker (1979). The Battered Woman. New York: Harper & Row.
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Aberconwy MIND - Anger Management Programme
Four Myths
1 Anger is inherited
•
Evidence from research studies suggests that people are not born with set and specific ways
of expressing anger (probably different levels of emotional reactivity though)
•
The expression of anger is at least in part learned so more appropriate ways of expressing
anger can also be learned
2 Anger automatically leads to aggression
•
Effective anger management involves controlling the escalation of anger by learning
assertiveness skills, changing negative and hostile ‘self-talk’ challenging irrational beliefs &
employing a variety of behavioural strategies
3 You must be aggressive to get what you want
•
The goal of assertiveness is to express feelings of anger in a way that is respectful of other
people. Expressing yourself in an assertive manner does not blame or threaten other people
and minimizes the chance of emotional harm
4 Venting anger is always desirable
•
Research has found that people who vent their anger aggressively simply get better at being
angry
•
Venting anger in an aggressive manner can reinforce aggressive behaviour
Anger Is a Habit
Anger can become a routine, familiar, and predictable response to a variety of situations. When
anger is displayed frequently and aggressively it can become a habit. A habit, by definition, means
doing something automatically, over and over again without thinking. The frequent and aggressive
expression of anger can be viewed as a maladaptive habit because it results in negative
consequences.
•
Has anger become a habit for you? How?
•
In what ways has it been maladaptive?
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Breaking the Anger Habit
You can break the anger habit by becoming aware of the events and circumstances that trigger your
anger and the negative consequences that result from it. In addition, you need to develop a set of
skills to effectively manage your anger.
List some anger control skills that you might know or that you may have used in the past.
Anger Meter
A simple way to monitor your anger is to use a 1 to 10 scale called the anger meter. A score of 1 on
the anger meter represents a complete lack of anger or a total state of calm, whereas 10 represents
an angry and explosive loss of control.
For each day of the coming week, please monitor and record the highest number you reach on the
anger meter.
In this session, you begin to learn how to analyse an episode of anger. This involves learning how to
identify events and cues that indicate an escalation of anger.
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Events that can Trigger Anger
Angry reactions are often caused by the interplay of some trigger in the environment, the
interpretation we place on that trigger (which may have its roots in things we think or believe) and
our own temperament (whether we are naturally calm or more readily roused)
Event
Behaviour
Interpretation
Temperament
Some events make many of us angry. They ‘push our buttons’. These sensitive areas or ‘red flags’
usually refer to long-standing issues of us that can easily lead to anger. In addition to events in the
here and now, we may also recall an event from your past that made us angry. Just thinking about
these past events can make us angry. Here are examples of events or issues that can trigger anger:
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•

Queues

Selfish driving

Being ignored

Crowds

Jealousy

Being falsely accused

Having to clean up somebody else’s mess

Rumours being spread about you

Witnessing crime, cruelty or bullying

Being lied to
What are some of the ‘red-flag’ events and situations that can trigger anger for you?
The Amygdala and the Neocortex
The amygdala is a small almond shaped structure deep inside our brains. It is associated with strong
emotions such as fear and anger. When the amygdala is triggered is ‘switches on’ a rapid release of
hormones which put us on high alert and make us ready for action. It developed to help us survive,
many times our ancestors needed to react quickly, without thinking, to threats to save their lives.
Other parts of our brain, for example the neocortex, have developed to help us think through
problems. They are rational, more considered and slower to react.
The interplay between this fast, emergency response part of our brain and the more considered part
usually allows us to react with emotion to something, yet also think and consider what is best to do.
When we are enraged we don’t think at all well.
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Another way of thinking about this is to think of our ‘emotion’ reasonable’ and ‘wise’ mind.
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Cues to Anger: Four Cue Categories
It is important to identify the cues that occur in response to the anger- These cues serve as warning
signs that we have become angry and that our anger is escalating.
Cues can be broken down into four categories: physical, behavioural, emotional, and cognitive (or
thought) cues.
1)
Physical Cues (how your body responds; e.g., with an increased heart rate, tightness in the
chest, feeling hot or flushed)
2)
Behavioural Cues (what you do; e.g., clench your fists, raise your voice, stare at others)
3)
Emotional Cues (other feelings that may occur along with anger; e.g., fear, hurt, jealousy,
disrespect)
4)
Cognitive Cues (what you think about in response to the event; e.g., hostile self-talk, images
of aggression and revenge)
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Monitoring Anger for the Week
Identifier
Session Completed - 1
Your anger meter scores
2
3
4
For week beginning (date) __________
Please record your highest anger score each day below
Monday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Tuesday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Wednesday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Thursday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Friday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Saturday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Sunday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
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What was the highest number you reached on
the anger meter during the past week?
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
What event triggered your anger?
What cues were associated with the anger-provoking event?
Physical cues
Behavioural cues
Emotional cues
Cognitive cues
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What skills did you use to avoid reaching ‘10’ on the anger meter?
Skills used
What happened?
Mindfulness
Acting opposite
Distraction
Grounding
Other …
Other …
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Anger Meter
Loss of control
Adverse consequences
You lose!
Distress tolerance and
Affect regulation skills
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John has a pretty ordinary life. The wavy line (‘ambient stress’) shows how John’s stress levels vary
from day to day. Some days are, of course, more stressful than others.
Time ‘B’ and time ‘D’ are particularly stressful for John. At time ‘B’ things are not going well at home
and at time ‘D’ John is having a tough time at work.
The lower dotted line (‘stress tolerance’) shows the level of stress that John can cope with without
becoming ill.
At time ‘A’ John has an argument with his teenage son. John was quite upset and would rate the
argument about 5 out of 10 on a stress scale. Because at the time John was feeling quite relaxed he
coped well with the argument. Though unpleasant it didn’t exceed his capacity to deal with it.
At time ‘B’ John has, an argument (‘Y’) with his boss. John would have rated this at about 5 out of 10
on a stress scale too, except this time John’s ambient stress level was high.
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John hadn’t been sleeping and was working too hard. The result of this stress addition was that John
took time off work – the extra stress was more than he was able to deal with.
The second dotted line, ‘improved stress tolerance’ shows how John can deal with mores stressful
events without becoming ill.
Increasing resilience – 5 ways to wellbeing
‘Resilience’ means our ability to ‘bounce back’ after dealing with problems and challenges. It
means ‘rolling with the punches’.
Without fail, life will challenge us with unexpected problems. Being able to deal with them
and to ‘bounce back’ is an essential skill.
In some ways, life is like a house of cards. At some point, our ‘card house’ will collapse.
There are skills relating to protecting our ‘house of cards’ and there are ‘rebuilding’ skills.
‘Rebuilding’ skills are vitally important, because no matter how hard we work to stop our
‘house’ falling down, it is bound to fall down eventually.
Vince Lombardi famously said:
“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up again.”
We can strengthen and develop our resilience.
Write down the strengths you know you have, or the things you do well. Identify at
least five.
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1
2
3
4
5
This can be quite difficult, especially if we’re used to thinking about ourselves in a harsh or
critical way.
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Developing resilience
1. Develop a positive self-image - learn to view yourself in a positive light.
2. Focus on building and maintaining relationships - develop strong social networks.
Being, or feeling, alone makes us more vulnerable
3. Show appreciation - focus on the more positive things in your life rather than
dwelling on problems
4. Be proactive - take responsibility to change things for the better
5. Some things cannot be changed - pick your fights, accept that which cannot be
changed
6. Identify your goals - keep your goals in mind
7. Take a long-term view - develop the ability to ‘helicopter’ over problems to keep a
sense of perspective
8. Be optimistic - resilient people maintain a hopeful outlook and mostly expect
positive outcomes
9. Keep learning - We never stop learning, keep open to new experiences
10. Notice the positive - focus on the positive, rather than dwelling on the negative
11. Take care of yourself - respect and attend to your own needs and feelings.
12. Accept your vulnerabilities – don’t hassling yourself over them
13. Enjoy - learn to appreciate natural things. Have fun, enjoy life
14. Stay flexible - welcome new challenges and experiences as opportunities, focus on
possibilities rather than fears and anxieties
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Ten ways I look after myself
1 = not at all, 10 = a great deal
1
I say ‘no’ to things I don’t want to do
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
2
I put aside time each week to relax and unwind
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
3
I exercise regularly
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
4
I take regular holidays and breaks
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
5
I make time for hobbies and for learning something
new each week
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
6
I look after my health
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
7
I praise myself for a ‘job well done’
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
8
I feel in control of my life
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
9
I eat regularly and healthily
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
10
I make time to connect regularly with my friends
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
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Session 2
Contents
•
Mood meter review and recap on previous session
•
Reducing vulnerability - please master
•
Emotions and action impulses
•
‘Acting opposite’
•
Mindfulness
•
Self-soothing
•
Half-smiling
Another way of increasing our stress tolerance is to ensure we are healthy – physically and
emotionally. Certain common sense things need to be in place to maintain our health use the
following checklist to see how you’re doing with regard to the fundamentals of staying well.
PLEASE MASTER
•
Treat Physical Illness
•
Balance Eating
•
Avoid Mood-Altering drugs
•
Balance Sleep
•
Take Exercise
•
Build MASTERY – do things that make you feel happy and proud
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Three things I do which improve my health.
1
2
3
The function of emotion is to elicit motion. Emotions provide us with information about
what is going on around us and motivate us to act accordingly.
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Here are some common emotions and the ‘action urge’ they convey:
•
Sadness
–
To recognise, reflect & mourn
•
Fear
–
To flee from or to avoid
•
Happy
–
All is well, enjoy
•
Angry
–
Approach, attack, change
•
Shame
–
Hide away
•
Guilt
–
Make amends, repair
•
Surprise
–
To notice
•
Disgust
–
To learn quickly, to communicate danger
•
Interest
–
To explore, find out more
One way of dealing with angry urges is to ‘act opposite’ to the urge. Anger calls us to action, often
without thinking. It calls us to approach and to challenge and confront. It makes us preoccupied with
the perceived insult or outrage. It makes us ‘wound up’ and tense, and makes us want to hurt
someone or ‘pay them back’.
Sometimes anger is necessary, sometimes we are in danger or have been attacked, manipulated or
damaged in some way. But much more often anger is unwarranted and will only make things worse
in the long run.
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Acting opposite
–
Gently avoid (both ‘being with’ and ‘thinking about’)
–
Distract self
–
Do something kind
–
Notice the positive
–
Self soothe
–
Resist acting immediately – count from 20 to one backwards before speaking or
acting
Mindful Breathing
•
Sit comfortably with your eyes closed and your back comfortably straight
•
Centre your head over your spine
•
Place your feet flat on the floor if it is comfortable to do so
•
Some people prefer to close their eyes for this exercise though it is not essential to do so
•
Direct your attention to your breathing. Just notice your breath
•
When you notice thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, simply accept them, giving them
the space to come and go without judging and without getting involved with them
•
Just notice the experience - notice without getting caught in the experience
•
Experience without reacting to the experience
•
When you notice that your attention has drifted off to thoughts or feelings or when you
realise you are attending to something other than your breath, just notice that your
attention has drifted away and gently bring your attention back to your breathing
•
It's absolutely natural for our attention to wander; this is what our minds do. No matter how
many times this happens, just keep bringing your attention back to your breathing
•
With practice we can allow feelings, thoughts and experiences to move on without ‘sticking’
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Self-soothing
•
Soothe each of your five senses – Sight
•
Find one beautiful thing, make one space in a room restful, light a candle & watch the flame,
go for a meal, go to a museum with beautiful art, sit in the lobby of a beautiful old hotel, go
to the theatre, cinema or other performance or watch one on TV, be mindful of each sight
that passes in front of you, without lingering on any one …
•
Soothe each of your five senses – Hearing
•
Listen to beautiful or soothing music or to invigorating and exciting music, pay attention to
the sounds of nature (waves, birds, rainfall, leaves rustling), sing to your favorite songs, hum
a soothing tune, learn to play a musical instrument, call 0800 or other information numbers
to hear a human voice, be mindful of any sounds that come your way, hearing them and
letting them go …
•
Soothe each of your five senses – Smell
•
Use your favorite perfume or after shave, or try them on in the shop, spray fragrance in the
air, light a scented candle, put polish on your furniture, put potpourri in a bowl in your room,
boil cinnamon, bake bread or cake, make fresh coffee, smell wild flowers, walk in a wooded
area and mindfully breathe in the fresh smells of nature …
•
Soothe each of your five senses – Taste
•
Make a special meal, have a soothing drink such as herbal tea or hot chocolate (no alcohol),
treat yourself to a dessert, put whipped cream in your coffee. Sample flavours in an ice
cream shop. Suck on sweets. Chew your favourite gum. Get a little bit of a special food you
don't usually spend the money on, such as freshly-squeezed orange juice. Really taste the
food you eat; eat just one thing mindfully …
•
Soothe each of your five senses – Touch
•
Have a bubble bath, put clean sheets on the bed, stroke your dog or cat, have a massage,
soak your feet, put lotion on your whole body, put a cold compress on your forehead, sink
into a really comfortable chair in your home or find one in a luxurious hotel lobby, hug
someone, experience whatever you are touching; notice touch that is soothing …
What do you do to soothe yourself?
What else could you do?
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Semi-smiling and serenity
As our moods and emotions alter our bodily responses, so changing what we do influences our
emotions …
Bodily
responses
Emotions
Semi-smiling practice

Accept reality with your body

Relax (by letting go or by just tensing and then letting go) your face, neck, and shoulder
muscles and half-smile

Relax your jaw and facial muscles
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
Try to adopt a serene facial expression - because your body communicates with your mind

Half-smile while contemplating the person you despise the most

Sit quietly. Breathe and smile a half-smile. Imagine the image of the person who has caused
you the most suffering. Regard the features you hate or despise the most or find the most
repulsive. Try to examine what makes this person happy and what causes suffering in his or
her daily life. Imagine the person's perceptions; try to see what patterns of thought and
reason this person follows. Examine what motivates this person's hopes and actions

Finally, consider the person's consciousness. See whether the person's views and insights
are open and free or not, and whether or not the person has been influenced by any
prejudices, narrow-mindedness, hatred, or anger. See whether or not the person is master
of himself or herself

Continue until you feel compassion rise in your heart and your anger and resentment
disappear

Practice many times on the same person
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Session 3
Contents
•
Mood meter review and recap on previous session
•
Grounding exercise
•
Recap and review previous sessions and clarify any areas of uncertainty
Grounding
When we become very angry, it is often because we remind ourselves of something that has
happened a long time ago. We ‘justify’ the way we react by thinking about our position in the world,
believe (and remember times) that life is unfair and that people are unjust, can’t be trusted and / or
are trying to do us down.
The following exercise uses our senses to help ensure we are, as far as possible, in the present
moment. When we are fully in the present moment our anger is more likely to be warranted and
proportionate to the situation.
This exercise can be done at any time of day, or night. Many people find it especially useful when
they notice the early signs of anxiety or panic. It takes most people less than 10 minutes and with
practise many people are able to ground themselves in a minute or less. The exercise is best done
sitting or lying down with your feet in contact with something solid. Your job is to simply notice your
experiences and to let them go. Approach the exercise in an unhurried manner, simply notice any
sensations and then move on.
Step 1
•
Pay attention to the world around you
•
Have a look around you, and notice what you can see. Look for shapes, colours, patterns and
textures. Look for light and shade
•
Now, listen to the world around you. Tune into the sounds in your world. What can you
hear?
•
Now use your sense of touch, what are you touching, what is touching you?
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•
Can you feel the way your skin meets your clothing, and the way your body touches the
world around you?
•
Now, use your sense of taste and smell, can you taste anything right now? What smells can
you notice?
Step 2
•
Now pay attention to what's happening inside
•
Start by imagining yourself looking inside your body. What can you see? Lights, colours,
patterns, images?
•
Your task is simply to notice these things, not dwell on them or analyse them, just notice
them. When you've done this, listen to the sounds inside of your body
•
What can you hear? Now transfer your attention to your sense of touch. Become aware of
any physical sensations inside your body. These might be feelings of heaviness or lightness,
of relaxation or of tension. Now become aware of any smells or tastes you notice from
inside of yourself
Step 3
•
Now pay attention to both inside and outside at the same time
•
Notice experiences and events outside of yourself and sensations and experiences within
you at the same time. This can be a little difficult at first but it becomes easier with practise.
Notice what you can see, inside and outside of yourself. Now notice what you can hear,
again, inside and outside of yourself. Now what sensations can you feel?
•
Physical sensations from inside and things you can feel touching you from outside
•
Finally, notice smells and tastes you can notice from both inside and outside yourself
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Session 4
Contents
•
‘Mood meter’ and recap on previous three sessions
•
Communicating effectively with others
•
Anger and the family
•
Goal setting
•
What I have learned
Assertiveness
Often, the first reaction when we feel another person has violated our rights is to fight back.
One alternative to aggressive behaviour is to act passively or in a non-assertive manner. This
behaviour is undesirable because you allow your rights to be violated. You may resent the person
who violated your rights, and you may also be angry with yourself for not standing up for your rights.
From an anger management perspective, the best way to deal with a person who has violated your
rights is to act assertively.
Acting assertively involves standing up for your rights in such a way that is respectful of other
people. The basic message of assertiveness is that my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are important
and your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are equally important.
By acting assertively, we can express our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs without suffering the
negative consequences associated with aggression or the devaluation of yourself associated with
passivity or non- assertion.
It is important to emphasize that assertive, aggressive, and passive responses are learned
behaviours; they are not innate, unchangeable traits.
We can learn to develop assertive responses that will allow us to manage interpersonal conflicts in a
more effective way.
•
What are some problems that you may experience if you act aggressively during conflicts
with others?
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•
What are some problems that you may experience if you respond passively during conflicts?
•
What are some of the advantages of acting assertively when trying to resolve conflicts?
Feeling – Action Statements
A feeling-action statement links the way we feel to the behaviour of another person and makes a
clear, non-blaming request for change.
It’s much more effective than saying something like ‘You make me feel … ’ which is often felt as
accusatory and inflammatory.
When we tell someone they ‘make us feel’ something, we are treading a fine line between telling
them how we feel and blaming them for how we feel.
If they feel blamed, they are likely to retaliate or to respond defensively.
How to use feeling-action statements …
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•
State your feeling
•
•
•
We may say ‘You make me so angry’, which can cause a defensive reaction from the other
person
A feeling-action statement keeps the focus on the feeling which is more likely to promote
effective communication
Much better to just say ‘I feel’
Better still, try saying ‘when you do (x), I feel (y)’
•
Connect the feeling to an issue
•
Once the feeling is stated, it should be connected to an issue or event, for example:
‘I feel angry, when you walk in without wiping your shoes’
Although there is some mention of the other person’s behaviour, the focus is on the
uncomfortable feeling experienced by the speaker
•
State what you want to happen
•
A possible solution can now be offered: ‘I feel angry, when you walk in without wiping your
shoes, I would like you to take off your shoes when you come into the house’
The focus stays on the feeling, the goal continues to be alleviating the uncomfortable
feeling
•
We can also say what we imagine to be the case, for example:
‘When you walk into the house without wiping your shoes you make the carpet dirty. I think you
don’t realise how hard it is for me to clean the carpet or how upset I feel when I have to clean it
again. I feel angry and would like to you to wipe your feet when you come into the house in future’
Can you think of any times when you might use a feeling-action statement? Write one you might use
below.
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Anger & the Family
For many of us, the interactions we had with our parents have strongly influenced our behaviours,
thoughts, feelings, and attitudes as adults.
With regard to anger and its expression, these feelings and behaviours were usually modelled for us
by our parents or parental figures. The following series of questions concerns the interactions you
had with your parents and the families that you grew up in.
Discussing family issues can sometimes bring up uncomfortable feelings. Be sure to discuss these
feelings with the group leader or your counsellor.
•
Describe your family. Did you live with both parents? Did you have any brothers and sisters?
Where did you grow up?
•
How was anger expressed in your family while you were growing up? How did your father
express anger? How did your mother express anger? Were you ever threatened with physical
violence? Was your father abusive to your mother or you?
•
How were other emotions, such as happiness and sadness, expressed in your family? Was
emotional expression limited to feelings of anger and frustration, or were many different kinds of
emotions expressed?
•
How were you disciplined and by whom? Was physical punishment involved (e.g., being hit
with hands, belts, switches, or other objects)? How did you respond to this discipline?
•
What role did you take in your family? For example, were you the hero, the rescuer, the
victim, the clown, the scapegoat, etc.?
•
What messages did you receive about your father and men in general? What messages did
you receive about your mother and women in general?
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What feelings, thoughts, and behaviours carry over into your relationships today? What purpose, if
any, do these behaviours serve today? What would happen if you gave up these behaviours?
My Goals
Having considered the programme, what goals do you have for the future?
Goal
How important is the goal?
When I will have
achieved it by?
How confident am I that I
can achieve it?
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
If your ‘confidence’ scores are very low, perhaps the goal is too ambitious? How could you break it
down further to help you feel more confident that you can achieve it?
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Aberconwy MIND - Anger Management Programme
Closing Exercise
•
What have you learned about anger management?
•
Think about the skills you have learned. How can you best use them?
•
How can you continue to improve your anger management skills?
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Aberconwy MIND - Anger Management Programme
Appendix - Monitoring Anger for the Week
Identifier
Session Completed - 1
Your anger meter scores
2
3
4
For week beginning (date) __________
Please record your highest anger score each day below
Monday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Tuesday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Wednesday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Thursday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Friday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Saturday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
Sunday
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
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What was the highest number you reached on
the anger meter during the past week?
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
What event triggered your anger?
What cues were associated with the anger-provoking event?
Physical cues
Behavioural cues
Emotional cues
Cognitive cues
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What skills did you use to avoid reaching ‘10’ on the anger meter?
Skills used
What happened?
Mindfulness
Acting opposite
Distraction
Grounding
Other …
Other …
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Aberconwy MIND - Anger Management Programme
ANGER METER
Loss of control
Adverse consequences
You lose!
Distress tolerance and
Affect regulation skills
Acknowledgements
With thanks to: Finola Stephenson; Amy Bennison; Patrick Reilly & Michael Shopshire.
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Aberconwy MIND - Anger Management Programme
Version 1.0
Date written - 22-06-12
Date for review - 22-06-2013
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