Clustered Newswriting Lessons
I’ll explain in class day 1—this page is for later reference.
Page 1
Newswriting is a focused and specialized writing process with several rules that will be new to you. It also requires
attention to detail on certain basics of mechanics and grammar that you should know by now.
It is not practical to teach or review these one-at-a-time since they are all required at the same time. Some of them
overlap. For example, students who are weak on use of quotations and paraphrases will have difficulty mastering
punctuation of those choices, because quotes and paraphrases are punctuated very differently.
The solution is to cluster the lessons together and ‘flip’ the class activities.
During class we will have workshop time during which students should check in exercises, get help on concepts they can
not yet master, work and re-work exercises for credit, and take brief quizzes to claim mastery of each concept.
GOAL—move through these basics as quickly as possible to save time and energy and get to the writing.
Step 1: study the concept at home.
Step 2: practice the concept in exercises.
Step 3: check your work so you know your progress.
Step 4: get help if you need it.
Step 5: ask for mastery credit or quiz for it.
Step 6: if you don’t master the concept on the quiz, move to the next exercise or get more help.
Step 7: move to the next concept.
One exercise is required for each concept. Later exercises don’t get credit; you work less if you progress.
Quizzes are multiple choice, open-answer, or true/false. In some cases students might quiz by dictation. In other cases
mastery credit will be given based on exercises.
I assume that quiz grades will be 10/10 or perhaps 9/10, so all grades should be A’s.
Each set of exercises is ‘clustered.’ This is because they overlap or are very similar. In some cases a single concept quiz
can demonstrate mastery of multiple concepts.
Our major grades come from writing stories, which will require precise use of these skills. You may earn good scores on
quizzes and demonstrate mastery of the skills, but you will still be expected to be consistently correct in your writing.
Tentative list of the clusters and lessons for the first two weeks:
CLUSTER 1 SENTENCE MECHANICS
1.
Punctuation in Journalism Writing
2.
Attribution statements
3.
First and Second Reference, TGA
4.
Quote and Paraphrase
CLUSTER 3
PARAGRAPH ORDER
10.
Importance Order
11.
Ordering References
12.
Inverted Pyramid
13.
Clustering
CLUSTER 2
PARAGRAPH MECHANICS
5.
Minimize Text
6.
Paragraph Focus
7.
Paragraph Division
8.
Comma Splice
9.
Combining Sentences
CLUSTER 4
LEDES AND HEADLINES
14.
4W ledes
15.
Soft Ledes
16.
Byline
17.
Headline, Subheadline, Lede Flow
Cluster 1: Attributions, Punctuation, Quotations, and Sourcing
Lesson 1
Attribution Statements
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STANDARD SENTENCE, ATT PHRASE FIRST
first reference+ TGA
attribution verb
open quote
no space
no space
close
quote
Communications teacher David Motes said, “This type of writing is very different from what you are used to.”
complete attribution phrase
comma
space
period
STANDARD SENTENCE, ATT PHRASE LAST
“This type of writing is very different from what you are used to,” said Communications teacher David Motes.
Newswriting is like research writing. We never write in our own first-person voice. We get statements from others. We
present information from people or documents. We call those people sources. The process of gathering information from
sources and writing the story is called reporting.
Sources must be named with enough information to check that they are real.
Attribution statements tell the reader who gave us the information. It’s the same as “citing a source.”
Attribution verb: use ‘said.’ No alternate words like ‘replied’ or ‘explained. Readers don’t notice the repetition. Never
‘claimed,’ ‘suggested,’ or ‘insisted—they are not neutral. Exception 1: Use ‘according to’ when the statement is not
from spoken words but from writing: a website, the WHS Student Handbook, a Wikipedia page, a Facebook Page, etc.
The source name plus attribution verb is called the Attribution Phrase. In a proper newswriting sentence there are only
two parts: the quoted or paraphrased words and the attribution phrase.
Attribution phrases can be in the standard subject/verb order: John Whitney (9) said, “I think…
Or they can be inverted: “…that it’s a lot worse now,” said John Whitney (9).
Starting a sentence with ‘said’ can sound pompous or over-formal: Said John Whitney (9), “I think…
But putting the verb after a lengthy first reference (the information included the first time a source is mentioned) can be
confusing: “…last week,” Cub Foods Director of Marketing and Public Relations Ellen Wynne-Barkato said.
Attributions Ex 1
ATTEX1
For each of the following quotations, add an attribution phrase from any source and proper punctuation.
1. Frankly, I don’t think it’s any of their business what I wear to school
2. Since the beginning of the school year, I’ve lost nearly $10 in those machines
3. We do our best to remove the snow from the parking lot before students arrive
4. Our primary goal is to maintain a safe and comfortable environment for our scholars
5. It was easily my favorite movie from the last five years or so
6. Parking is a real hassle this year. About half the time I have to park in the senior lot and risk getting booted.
Attributions exercise 2
ATTEX2
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Write 10 proper news sentences using all or part of a quote from the notes below. You may handwrite or computer
generate. Make punctuation clear and proper. Use all 5 sources at least once. The first time you use each, use the entire
first reference as given (notice that they don’t have any commas). The second time you use any source, use the proper
second reference—last name only. Only two of your sentences may use the entire quote as given; the others must use a
part of the quote.
FIRST REFERENCES
Principal Mike Trewick
Airman Andrew Tomalcuk
QUOTES
I just want to make sure that all of our scholars are safe.
Alarms were going off, then the fire suppression system went KAPOW and we were
scrambling out the hatches. I didn’t have time to notice that I was hurt. Then, to make
it worse, my EE is the aft cabin hatch, puts me out on the lifting body, and I was
soaked with hydraulic fluid which is slippery as heck. Of course we’re trained to go
out two-by-two but jeez—we’d just crashed, after all, guess I forgot and stepped out
and voop! I shoot off and land on my ass in the dirt and add insult to injuries.
Lieut. Col. Valerie Porter
The aircraft then experienced a further cascade of system failures. Captain Manés
identified an open area and made a very skillful deadstick landing in an open area
about 400 meters northeast of Wayzata High School. The aircraft had a crew of five:
Captain Roşansa Manés, a loadmaster, an information officer, a copilot, and a civilian
technician. All were transported to Abbot Northwestern Hospital. Two were treated for
burns and released; one has been admitted for treatment of broken ribs, a broken
humerus, and concussion but his injuries are not life-threatening.
Communications teacher David Motes I heard a rushing sound and this huge plane came swooping in over the trees. It
took me a minute to realize why it was so weird—it wasn’t making any engine noise.
Plymouth Police Chief Mike Goldstein Peony Lane North will be closed for at least 48 hours. Citizens are required by law
to remain at least 1000 feet from the accident perimeter.
Punctuation/Capitalization and Sourcing Exercise 2
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Write five different sentences for you, or three each for you and for another person you know. Each must be a complete
sentence with error-free capitalization and punctuation. Each should include a first reference and a quotation (either five
with you as source, or three with you and three with another person you know.) The source is you. Each sentence should
be part of a story on a completely different topic and so should have a different first reference (except for the full name
of the source) and a different quote. Do not state or explain the story topic—we should be able to infer the topic from
the sentence.
Examples:
1. Communications teacher David Motes said, “I approve of the changes in curriculum, though I’m going to miss not
teaching ‘Adventures of Huckleberry Finn’ which is one of my favorite books.”
2. “The Kinnikinnic is among the best brown trout rivers I’ve ever fished, and I’ve been on many of the great ones,” said
long-time fly angler and former guide David Motes of Plymouth, MN.
3. David Motes, 52, said, “I’m very happy with the road maintenance and improvement program in Plymouth, especially
the recently completed Hwy. 101 improvements.”
Punctuation Points for Journalism Writing
“““““
”””””
Study the following rules
Open-quote and close-quote in different fonts. A space always comes before an open-quote. A
space always follows a close-quote. Not all fonts have quotes that ‘hook.’ Quotation marks hook
inward toward the quoted material and away from the space. MSWord chooses open or close
based on where the space is. If you get the spacing wrong, Word will choose wrong.
s, l, z, r, m,
(((((never)))))
!!!!! ?????
Commas (with a letter in the same font). Place a comma at the end
of quoted material and inside the close-quote. If you start a
sentence with the attribution phrase you don’t need a comma
before the ATT phrase—‘said’ or ‘according to.’ To simplify, we avoid
commas when possible by rearranging or rephrasing.
Parentheses (parens). Parentheses are subjective and can confuse
the attribution of a statement, so journalists seldom use parens
except in quoted material to add information, usually a name,
necessary to adjust the quote’s context so a reader can fully
understand it as the speaker intended.
Exclamation point (exclam), question mark. Both can be end-stops
which declare a sentence finished; both can be continuing
punctuation (like a comma). The rules apply according to how they
are used. Both are subjective so should only be used in quoted
material, and then very sparingly.
- - - - - nnnn n-dash
long-haul trucker once-in-a-lifetime chance
large semi-trailer a smart, strong, friendly man
— — — — — m-dash
I thought—Whoa! I thought, Whoa!
James—James is my brother—called me
. . .. .
…, …. …. ….
: : :: :
Short hyphen or “n-dash.” No spaces. Connects two or
more adjectives into a single compound adjective. Test:
not ‘long trucker’ or ‘haul trucker’--a ‘long-haul trucker.’
Trailer is large, and also a semi-trailer. Man is strong,
man is smart, man is friendly--commas. On the
keyboard: above/right of ‘P’. n-dash is grammatical and
objective so journalists use it. If you type one n-dash MS
Word will leave it. If you type two Word will merge them
into an “M-dash,” also called a long hyphen or just dash.
M-dash should use it only in quoted material. M-dash
indicates a stop and clarification or change of thought.
Neither dash gets a space before or after.
Period. Always ends sentence. ‘Said Ridlehoover.’ is not a complete sentence! Short, clear
sentences are the goal in journalism writing. If the quote ends the sentence, the period goes
inside close-quote—but in this case the ATT will be at the start or in the middle of the sentence
because every sentence gets an ATT. Quotes may stretch across more than one sentence.
… ... … … …
; ; ;; ;
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Ellipsis. Use to indicate that you’ve removed words from a quote. Journalists
don’t use as often as research writers. Spoken statements require more
interpretation by the journalist so ellipses aren’t needed as often. Written
sources will require ellipses more often. Create by typing 3 periods, no spaces.
In most fonts, MS Word will convert the three into a single character. If you end
the sentence on an ellipsis, type 4 periods. Word will make an ellipsis and
leave the fourth as the period, leaving distinct differences between the two.
Semicolon and colon. In sentences, these indicate compound and complex sentences, which
journalists avoid. If a semi or a colon is called for, journalists should stop the sentence and start a
new one—and probably a new paragraph. This will be important later when you are tackling
paragraph focus while avoiding the comma splice. When used in a series (Oil City, PA; Marble, WV;
Mineral, OH; Limestone, WY.) semicolons are acceptable in journalism writing. Colons can properly
be used in titles, times, and certain names but otherwise should be avoided.
Common Errors:
changed”, said
comma or period outside close-quote
RULE: punctuation inside quotes
period not comma after quote
changed.” Said
RULE: Att is part of the sentence; ‘Said Piel’ is a fragment.
no space after close-quote
changed,”said
RULE: one space before open-quote; one after close-quote
quotes left off a quote
I felt really bad said Riel
RULE: First person pronouns can be used only in quotes
paraphrase error
I felt really bad said Riel
RULE: First person pronouns cannot be used in a paraphrase
Punctuation/Capitalization
Exercise 1
PunctCap 1
Fix punctuation/capitalization. Change nothing but the punctuation/capitalization. Use a pencil to add your marks.
[proofreader’s mark for ‘make capital letter’ is three underlines, like this:
Indicate where you want something added with a carat:
ˇ
b
]
1. custodian bert pilfet said he expected the problem to be solved by early next week
2. i don’t want to confuse anybody said french club president micah porterhouse
3. the problem began when students became accustomed to leaving early said morton
4. anderson said we don’t want to exclude anyone the organization is open to all
5. according to the website the company does not discriminate
6. sophomore tiffany gold said her plans for spring break were still up in the air
7. i have spoken to the coaching staff and they are clear on our policy said head coach
rebecca martin sy kes
8. matt pell 11 said he had cleared the t shirt with activities director jaime sherwood
9. according to the student press law center website administrators are legally permitted
to censor such messages only if a disruption to the educational missio n was likely
10. in an email golden valley mayor marjorie perkins said the city’s police are not
targeting younger drivers we are committed to public safety and our police officers are as
well trained as any in the metro area perkins said
Punctuation/Capitalization Exercise 2
Page 7
For each sentence, box the incorrect punctuation, or the place where punctuation has been
omitted, and correct any capitalization errors. Each sentence includes at least one quote, and
each has at least one error.
1. Donny Sigurdsson (12) said “I don’t really care what happens. I’m just tired..”
2. “I can’t wait for the issue to come out,, said editor cole hawkins in an email.
3. Plymouth Police officer Mark Thiessen said damage to the car was serious”
4. Over 3,000 votes, were cast after 4 -P-M-, according to Registrar malik harad.
5. “we know there are cracks in the mortar said district 284, Engineer Peter
mcCandless. “We watch whether those cracks get bigger over time, and we’re
just not seeing that.” he sa id
6. “sophomore,” Janet Mondragon described the perfect -movie as just long
enough for me to be disappointed when it’s over.”
7. We need to maintain a safe and respectful environment, that’s all.” “Other
than that, I have no comment,” said associate principal marion boyd.
8. The syllabus for The Course includes Directions to “submit all work at or
before Midnight on the day it is due”.
9. Last week, according to science teacher, Greta Handley, the total was “90”.
10. coach desmond morris said: “w e all want to know what happened.”
Punctuation/Capitalization Exercise 3
Page 8
Each of these sentences contains a quote. Fill in the proper punctuation.
Attribution at the start:
1. Hennepin County Fire Inspector Elise Howard said we are investigating the possibility that the
fire was started intentionally but we have no results to share at this time.
2. Debate Team Secretary Masie Minnet said the team’s funding was reduced by 50%.
3. School Board Chairman Bertie Pillock called the decision ridiculous and intrusive.
4. Jameson said the investigation would take care of any lingering uncertainty about his honesty.
5. He said the stadium repairs would be covered either under the manufacturer’s warranty or by
District 284 insurance policies.
Attribution at the end
6. I hope to see everyone out at opening night said theatre teacher David Doering.
7. I’m just taking it one day at at time, trying to do the best for the team said sophomore pitcher
Milton Perl, who threw his second consecutive shutout one-hitter on Thursday against Edina.
8. We feel it is necessary to go slowly and calibrate our response with the Belgians and the
Germans said Secretary of State Hilary Rodham Clinton.
9. The city’s boundaries have remained unchanged since 1964 according to the Plymouth website.
10. At this time we see no need to change the language in the student handbook said Associate
Principal Marian Boyd.
Lesson 3
Naming Sources First and Second References TGA
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A source must be properly named and accurately quoted or paraphrased. You may not use anonymous sources.
First Reference: The first time you refer to a source is called first reference. First references must include the
source’s full name and a piece of identifying information.
Full name is first name, last name. No honorifics (Mrs., Mr., Ms.) should be included but earned titles such as
Dr., Sr. (Sister), PhD., DDS, KG, etc. should be used.
To choose identifying information: Use the source’s title. If they have no title that relates to the story, use the
source’s grade. If they don’t have a grade, use the source’s age. Don’t use more than one of these.
Title should be properly spelled and exactly as the source explains it. Check the website for staff titles. You
should present all titles with no commas and no other words such as ‘a,’ ‘of,’ ‘the,’ etc. If the source does not
have a title that is relevant to the story, use grade either as a numeral in parentheses or as a word in context.
If the source does not have a relevant title or grade, use their age in numerals set off by commas.
Second Reference: The second time and any later time you source a person is called a second reference. There
may be many of these, or there may be none.
Second reference is always last name only. No honorifics, titles, grades, ages—just last name.
Exceptions: If you are sourcing two people with the same last name, second reference must be first and last
name. If you source the same person twice in one paragraph or in two consecutive brief paragraphs, you may
use a third person pronoun (,” he said. or ,” she said.) or in the case of a document you may use a shorter
reference such as ‘according to the website’ or ‘according to the handbook.’
EXERCISE 1 TGA/1ref, 2ref
Prepare 8 full first-reference sentences with quotes from your notes taken during the source game, played on
class Monday or Tuesday.
EXERCISE 2 TGA 1ref, 2ref
(if you are at home with computer access)
Go to this link: http://www.wayzata.k12.mn.us/domain/385
Or, if you want an exotic experience, this one: http://www.fcps.edu/OaktonHS/aboutohs/admin.html
Make up quotes for any three of the administrators on either web page. Combine the quotes with proper TGA,
punctuation, and attribution phrases to make solid, error-free first-reference sentences. Then write a proper
second-reference sentence for each of the three. Format each sentence as its own paragraph with indent.
Especially creative students might make all six of these sentences concern a single (fictitious) story.