Friendship Development
KNR 253
SK Opinion…

One of the most important things we can do

One of the most critical areas of Leisure
Education

Perhaps even more important than Leisure
Awareness, Leisure Resources, & Leisure
Activity Skills

Not programmed as much as the other
areas
Social Interaction Skills
(Leisure Ability Model: Stumbo & Peterson, 2009)

Communication skills

Relationship-building skills

Self-presentation skills
Communication Skills: Skills that
enable someone to communicate with others
(p. 51)
Assertiveness skills
 Negotiation, disagreement, conflict, &
compromise skills
 Conversation skills

Introducing self & others
 Asking questions
 Responding

Communication Skills: Skills that
enable someone to communicate with others
(p. 51)
Active listening skills & responsive
behavior
 Receptive skills


Reading body language
Expressing feelings & thoughts
 Information-seeking & informationgiving skills
 Empathy & perspective-taking skills

Self-Presentation Skills:
Social etiquette rules
(p. 52)
Politeness, etiquette, manners, taking
turns, sharing, etc.
 Hygiene, health, & grooming skills
 Appropriate attire & dressing
 Responsibility for self care

Relationship-Building Skills:
Assist people in locating, maintaining, &
developing friendships & other relationships
(p. 51-52)
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
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Greeting & initiating…locating leisure
partners
Friendship development skills
Self-disclosure & privacy issues
Cooperative & competitive skills
Negotiation & compromise skills
Developing & maintaining social networks
Reciprocal social support

Expressing care & concern for others
Facilitating
Friendships
2006 National Institute on Recreation Inclusion
Sandra Klitzing, Ph.D., CTRS
Friendships in General

ABC’s of Friendship
What is a friend?
 Someone who...

Friendships in General:
Definition

Mutual involvement between 2 people
that is characterized by affection,
satisfaction, enjoyment, openness,
respect, and a sense of feeling
important to the other.
• Lawhon, 1997
Does 1 size of friendship fit
all?
Does 1 size of friendship fit
all?

Age

Gender

Ethnicity
Circle of Friends
Best friends
 Good friends
 Acquaintances you play

with

People who are paid to be in your life
Friendships and People with
Disabilities
Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Program Ideas

Children
Work with parents to arrange play
dates
 Help select peers with similar interests
 Use staff to facilitate play dates at
home of child with disability

• Koegel et al., 2005
Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Program Ideas

Teens

Include teens with disabilities in existing teen
recreation programs

Collaborate with general recreators or
educators to design inclusive teen programs

Design programs that facilitate reverse
inclusion
Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Program Ideas

Friendship program
How to build friendships
 How to maintain friendships
 Why friendships end
 What you can do to reconnect

Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Special Events

International Friendship Day

First Sunday of August

A time to recognize friends
Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Activities
Music
 Videos
 Art
 Friendship bracelets
 Friendship mobile
 Friendship poem

Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Facilitation
Techniques

Preschool

Turtle technique
• Fold arms and use words to say angry

Floor time with adults and peers
• Burton & Denham, 1998
Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Facilitation
Techniques

Children

Peer-support committees
• Spencer, 1999



Prevent adult interference
MAPS
Support clusters (formal & informal support)
• Turnbull et al., 2000

Program directories
• Searcy, 1996
Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Facilitation
Techniques
Be aware of isolation
 Design cooperative activities
 Divide participants into smaller groups
 Provide for a small area of
participation
 Choose interactive materials &
equipment
 Serve as connector & reconnector

Suggestions for Friendship
Development: Environmental
Clues
Bulletin board
 Posters
 Others????

Facebook:
Implications for
Therapeutic Recreation
Sandra Wolf Klitzing, Ph.D., CTRS
ILRTA Central Region Workshop
Urbana, IL
March 10, 2009
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


More than 175 million active users worldwide
Number 1 social network, followed by Myspace & Twitter
Each user spends an average of 25 minutes/day
Each user has an average of 150-200 friends
Learning Objectives
Explore social networking / Facebook
 Explore implications for TR

Connection
 Promotion
 Programs

• Discuss the importance of social
networking on friendships
• Identify skills and precautions our
participants need to safely use social
network sites
Social Networking Defined

A broad class of websites and
services that allow you to connect with
friends, family, and colleagues online

Interactive communication in which
participants share thoughts, photos,
etc. with members of their own
personal networks

2004




2005


Started in February
Initially only Harvard students
Later expanded to any university student
Expanded to high school students
2006


Open to anyone with valid e-mail address
Must be 13 years or older
Wikipedia, 2008
Facebook Used To…






Maintain relationships
Update others about activities &
whereabouts
Share photos
Get updates on what friends are doing
Coordinate activities
“Phatic” communication


No real information
Hope you are doing fine
• Dwyer, Hiltz, & Passerini, 2007
Rationale for Programs
(Professional)

Leisure Ability Model

Relationship-building skills
• Addresses skills that help people develop
and maintain friendships

Nontraditional leisure skills
• Computer & internet activities
• Stumbo & Peterson, 2004
Rationale for Programs
(Friendship)

What are the benefits of friendship?
 To you
 To adolescents and young adults with disabilities

What is a social network?
 Number
 Function

What are the social networks of adolescents or
young adults with disabilities like?
 Impact of inclusive education
 After graduation
Rationale for Programs
(Friendship)

“Perhaps more than any other aspect of
development, friendships are an expression
of a person’s inclusion in the community.”
•
Guralnick, Conner & Hammond, 1995 as quoted in
Dattilo, 1999
Rationale for Programs
(Social Capital)
Resources accumulated through relationships
with others
Coleman, 1988
Bridging social capital Bonding social capital
Loose
connections
between people who
can give information
or new perspectives
Typically not
emotional support
Found
in tight-knit,
emotionally close
relationships, such
as family & close
friends
Putnam, 2000
Rationale for Programs
(Social Capital)

Maintained social capital

Allows people to keep in touch with social
networks after changes
• Graduate, move, life changes

Research and Facebook


Strong bridging and maintained social capital
Weaker bonding social capital
• Ellison, Steinfield, & Lampe, 2007
People with Disabilities and
Social Networking

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Removes problems of transportation &
physical access
Removes communication barriers
Decreases isolation
Affords communication between people with
the same disability
Keeps in touch with friends
Builds confidence in social aspects due to
interaction not being in person
People with Disabilities and
Social Networking

“I can reveal as much or as little about my
cerebral palsy as I choose: although I don’t
hide my disability, many times it doesn’t
even come up and I can be me without my
disability taking center stage. People get to
know me based on my words, thoughts,
ideas, opinions and wit. They don’t get hung
up on their misperceptions or assumptions
about what my disability is or isn’t, which
allows us to get right to the task or topic at
hand.”
• disaboom
Senior Friendships: What
Can We Learn From the
Red Hat Society®?
Midwest Symposium on Therapeutic Recreation and
Adapted Physical Education
Lake Geneva, WI
April 28, 2008
Rationale for Presentation

Leisure Ability Model

Relationship-building skills
• Addresses skills that help people develop
and maintain friendships
• Healthy relationships contribute to quality
of life
• Stumbo & Peterson, 2004
Rationale for Presentation

Number of people who are older

35 million over 65 years
• US Census, 2000

137% increase by 2050
• Baby boomers
• US Census, 2001

Increase in TR jobs working with
seniors
• Occupational Outlook Handbook, 2007
What Is a Friend?

Are the benefits of friendship similar
for seniors?

Are the effects of loss similar for
seniors?
Benefits of Senior
Friendships

Physical health



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Mental health
Social health


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Immune system
Cardiovascular
Companionship
Social support
Life satisfaction
Optimism
Maintain identity

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Decrease
loneliness
Increase feelings of
usefulness
Provides
socialization into
old age
Helps adjust to
losses
And more…
Benefits of Senior
Friendships

Friendship identity is strongest
predictor of well-being

Even if family is largest percentage of
social support network

Why???
• Siebert, Mutran, Reitzes, 1999
If no friends…

Women are more vulnerable to
loneliness

More likely to withdraw
• Martina & Stevens, 2006

Women are more depressed

Importance of same-sex BFF
• Antonucci, Lansford, & Akiyama, 2001

Friendlessness is a risk factor for
disease and death
• Frazier, 2007; Siebert, Mutran, & Reitzes, 1999
Red Hat Society®
Red Hat Society®

Started 1998

Warning


Jenny Joseph
Now a huge
“disorganization”

Women over 50
Red Hat Society®

Mission:

Use age as license to be silly and
build relationships with women
• Yarnal, Kerstetter, Chick, & Hutchinson, 2005
Say goodbye to burdens,
responsibilities & obligations for
awhile
 Gain higher visibility for women in age
group & reshape how they are viewed
in today’s culture

• www.redhatsociety.com/
Red Hat Society®

Central Tenets

No rules
• EXCEPT
• Over 50 “full regalia”
• (red hats/purple outfit)
• Under 50
• (pink hats/lavender outfits)
• No men



No jobs
No responsibilities
No penalties
Red Hat Society®

Members need to enjoy
Being with other women
 Playing dress-up
 Doing “girl things”
 Deepening laugh lines

• Cooper, 2004
Ruby RedHat’s Top Ten Rules
For Living, Plus One
1. Accept reality, live in the here & now


No what-ifs or regrets
Don’t try to control life & others
2. Accentuate the positive


Look at the good in self, others, situations
Have gratitude for all the good in life
3. Nurture yourself


When you need a break, take one
Take long walks, curl up with a book
4. Indulge your sense of humor



Have a broad grin and a belly laugh
Develop laugh lines rather than frown lines
Be silly
Ruby RedHat’s Top Ten Rules
For Living, Plus One
5. Play!


Girls just wanna have fun
Have a slumber party or any party
6. Dress up!




Shop in thrift shops
The more glitz & boas the better
Clothes don’t have to be “age-appropriate”
It’s easier to act silly when you dress silly
7. Cultivate an openness to new things



Learn to be satisfied with who you are
Challenge yourself to learn and grow
Try almost anything
8. Express your creativity



Try silly ideas
Create outfits with flair
Think outside the “hatbox”
Ruby RedHat’s Top Ten
Rules For Living, Plus One
9. Exercise compassion


Help each other face challenges
Cry with others
10. Have courage

Face your own challenges or whatever
comes your way
11. Make up for sobriety of your youth



Make up for all the duties you performed
There is an awful lot of quirky stuff left to do
Instead of buying staples, buy toys for
yourself
• Cooper, 2004
Red Hat Society®

Play can be seen in chapter names:
The Grateful Red
 Above Bored
 Well-Red Ladies
 B.O.M.B. (Bodacious Ozark Mountain
Babes)
 O.H.M.Y! (Outrageous Hats,
Misguided Youths)
 Barely Beyond Pink

Red Hat Society®

Play can be seen in activities:
Pajama parties
 Glamour shots
 Chick flicks
 Thrift shop scavenger hunt
 High tea
 Senior prom
 Longest chorus line

What are the key
components of the Red
Hat Society’s® success?
How can we use the Red Hat
Society® as a model to help design
programs or interventions to facilitate
friendships for our senior clients?
What We Can Do


Find a Red Hat chapter for our clients
Start a Red Hat chapter for our clients





www.redhatsociety.com/
Apply concepts to our existing friendship
programs
Apply concepts to new friendship programs
Infuse fun and friendship in all our
interactions with clients
Infuse fun and play in our own lives
Webkinz: Makebelieve, Virtual, and
Real-life Friends
Midwest Symposium on Therapeutic Recreation and
Adapted Physical Education
St. Louis, MO
April 16, 2009
Who were
your childhood friends?
Real-life Friends

Preschool
Form preferences as early as toddlers
 73% have 1 mutual friend
 Prefer peers who are similar in age,
sex, and race
 Based on proximity and playing
together

• Lindsey, 2002: Yugar & Shapiro, 2001
Real-life Friends

Grade School

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


Most have mutual friends
Most friends are same-sex
Choose peers from classroom,
neighborhood, or recreation activities
Based on qualities like keeping promises
and secrets and telling the truth
Involved in sleepovers
• Yugar & Shapiro, 2001; Rotenberg & Morgan,
1995: Graham et al., 1998
Real-life Friends

Grade School: Boys
Play in larger groups
 Few demands for intimacy
 Concern about mastery, status,
autonomy
 Increase in cross-race mutual friends

• Graham et al., 1998; Meurling et al., 1999
Real-life Friends

Grade School: Girls
Spend much time with friends
 Concern about relationship issues and
emotional closeness
 Dependency in relationships
 Exclusive & intimate friendships
 Small friendship networks

• Graham et al., 1996; Meurling et al., 1999
Real-life Friends Help To…..
Provide a context for social learning
 Serve as resources for emotional
support and security
 Function as precursor for later
relationships

• Yugar & Shapiro, 2001
Real-life Friends Help To…..

Develop social competence
Initiate interactions
 Learn give and take
 Learn to set up rules
 Learn to lead and follow
 Learn how different situations call for
different behaviors
 Maintain ongoing relationship
 Solve conflicts with other children

• Rose & Asher, 2000
Make-believe Friends

Imaginary companions or friends

Invisible character

Impersonation

Personified object
Make-believe Friends Help
To…
Stimulate creativity and imagination
 Feel less lonely
 Have a confidant to tell secrets to
 Figure difference between right and
wrong

• Brott, 2009

Develop language skills
• Wikipedia, 2009
Make-believe Friends Help
To…
Learn to talk to people
 Learn to get along with others

• Maschke, 2006
Virtual Friends

What are virtual friends?

Did you have virtual friends when you were
a child?

Do you have a virtual friend now?

Do you know of children that have virtual
friends?
What are friendships like for
children with disabilities?
Friends and Children with
Disabilities





Rarely engaged in social interaction with
peers in school or classes
Had no consistent friends
Were alone on playground during free time
Had infrequent contact with peers in
extracurricular or recreation activities
Were not invited for play dates, birthday
parties, or sleep overs
• Koegel et al., 2005
Friends and Children with
Disabilities
Often more helping relationships than
friendships
 Girls more frequently than boys “work
with” a classmate who has a disability

• Turnbull et al., 2000
Webkinz Outcomes







Encourage reading
Encourage writing
Learn about saving & spending money
Learn responsibility by caring for pet
Learn 21st century technology skills
Increase ability to get along with others
Place to socialize with friends in a fun &
safe environment
Webkinz Outcomes
Virtual friends
 Make-believe friends
 Real-life friends


Talk about Webkinz were part of
interactions with real friends in and
out of online environment
• Spires, Lee, & Lester, 2008
Group Work

What do you currently do to facilitate
friendship with your child clients?

How might you use Webkinz as an
intervention to facilitate friendships?

Will Webkinz work better with certain
populations?
Computer games & Webkinz
previously used:

Children with autism
• Altshuler, 2009

Children with fetal alcohol syndrome
• Padgett, Strickland, & Coles, 2006

Hospitalized children
• Webkinz Foundation