Fade in to Midnight in Paris style montage of Newvic with Resin playing.Setting: Newvic corridor- in front of English classroom in A Block
One is waiting for Main, he is listening to French music – either Masculine Feminine theme song or
something by Chapemlon (prioritise MF theme).
Main: Sorry I’m late
One (he takes out one ear-piece and cowboy swings it to latch onto the other and yanks it off): Nah,
It’s alright
Main: Were you waiting long?
One: 15 minutes but I was with Marlene, she just left.
Main: Marlene.
One: She had 10 minutes before her classical civilisation class started so she was just teaching me
some French.
Main: Isn’t she German?
One: …She’s multilingual.
Main: Let’s talk inside?
Cut to them inside the classroom sitting at a table with a bunch of papers and books (inc Pride &
Prejudice)One: Ever since watching that Woody Allen movie you know, I just want to go to Paris. I don’t know
there’s something about it.
Main: It’s just the way it was filmed and the music that was used, it romanticises the city…like
Manhattan.
One: Yeah but I just want to go, see for myself you know – experience it.
Main: Why don’t we all go for a couple of weeks after these exams are over?
One: No. I don’t want to go there on a holiday, I want to go and live there for a year. I just want to
absorb myself in the Parisian culture, you can’t do that in a week or two as a tourist.
Main: That’s why you’re learning French.
One: Yeah. For the past three weeks. I’ve got one of these books, help me learn phrases and stuff.
And I got a subscription to Cine Moi, that channel that shows French movies.
Main: Which reminds me, you still have my copy of Le Cercle Rouge.
One: Yeah I know, I’ve seen it but just keep forgetting to bring it in.
Main: That dvd is a collector’s item, I got it from Criterion. Do you know how much there dvds cost?
One: No
Main: Way too much. I want it in better condition than I gave it to you in.
Enter Third.
One: Well if isn’t Mon frère
Main: Hey here’s our boy!
Third: Hey man, what’s up? (to Main) What’s up? (to One)
One: So how was Florida?
Third: It was…unbelievable, now that I’m back it all kinda feels like a dream. The weather, the
beaches and best of all I got to see The Supervillains live!
Main: That’s crazy
Third: Yeah, they played all the hits and they did this cover of Billy Joel’s Antony’s Song, It was
insane.
One: Which one’s Anthony’s Song?
Main: It’s just another name for Movin Out, its track one on The Stranger.
Enter Girl:
Girl: Err, Sorry I’m looking for the English Literature study group.
One: Yeah that’s us
Girl: You’re the study group, the one that’s doing Pride & Prejudice?
Main holds up a copy of P&P
Girl: Alright then, Richard told me come here to prepare for the exam. He told me you guys run a
study group.
Third: Who’s Richard?
Main: Dickers, English teacher, tall.
Third: Oh yeah, what did he say about us?
Girl: He just said come to this room, there’s a study group for English literature students.
One: But we only do Pride and Prejudice, that’s out main focus, we don’t do any of the poetry stuff.
Girl: That’s alright; I only need help on Pride and Prejudice.
Main: Okay that’s cool, sit down - I’m Main, this is One and that’s Third, he just came back from
Florida
Girl: Oh really, was it a holiday?
Third: Yeah I spent two weeks touring with bands from the Florida Ska Scene.
Girl: Oh…what’s the Florida ska scene?
Main: It’s just ska bands; it’s kinda like Reggae but with like bit of rock n roll and little bit of punk
sometimes. It’s really cool music. You can borrow my records.
Third: Yeah I just came back last night, it was fantastic.
Girl: I’ve been to Florida once about two years ago.
Main: Yeah, did you have fun?
Girl: Erm, I was there for about 3 weeks, the first two were fun but then I contracted conjunctivitis.
Third (concerned): How did you contract conjunctivitis?
Girl: I was swimming in the pool and some dirty kid’s shit particles got in my eye…It was awful, I had
to stay in my hotel room for the rest of the week before going home. (One gets scared and starts to
touch the corners of his eyes gently)
Third: See that’s why I always swim with my goggles on.
One: Are your eyes okay now?
Girl: Yeah there alright, it’s not a big problem.
Enter Filmmaker –
Main: Hey FM
FM: Hey, Main can I just speak to you for a minute.
They both go outside the room.
FM: It’s a romantic comedy, the plots not that important; it’s all about character, so naturally I need
the best actors I can find that will work for free. I’ve got someone for the Male lead but the
character of the girl is more important so I need someone who’s just brilliant.
Main: Okay
FM: Now, there is this 2nd year drama student who’s supposedly a great actress, she’s considered
very promising by her acting teachers. Her name is Sara Smith, but here’s the thing, I just can’t get
hold of her. I tried looking her up on the school system but I couldn’t find anything.
Main: Are you sure?
FM: I just figured there was something wrong with the school system.
Main: Yeah, probably.
FM: But why wouldn’t she be on there.
Main: Yeah, see they probably haven’t updated her thing on the school system yet. Is she a new
student?
FM: No she’s a 2nd year.
Main: Who told you that?
(cut to drama class with Mr H during this line)
FM: Mr H, he’s this new guy who’s teaching Chris’s classes.
Main: What? What happened to Chris?
FM: No he’s still here, this Mr H guy is just training, he isn’t like a proper teacher yet. He’s only here
for experience, he’s one of those student teacher types.
(cut back to conversation)
Main: And he’s the one who told you about this girl?
FM: Yeah, so I was wondering if you could look into it you know, get her contacts or something. The
way Mr H was going on about her, I think she would be right for my film.
Main: Didn’t you audition any other girls?
FM: Yeah I did a few last week, but none of them are any good.
Main: (as he scribbles down her name on a piece of paper) Yeah, Okay I’ll look into her and let you
know what’s up.
FM: Alright man, see ya (he walks away)
Wide shot - Main stands there and looks at the paper with Sara’s name on it – fade to black
Side note – make FM and Main scene longer.
Fade out-Fade in
It’s a different day. – (the following dialogue is happening with a over the head shot of a chess game
between One and Third)
Main: I didn’t know you wear contacts.
Girl (smiles): This morning I wore my sister’s jeans around my neck because I thought it was a scarf.
Everyone chuckles
Main: Jeez that’s bad. Aren’t contact lenses supposed to be real uncomfortable though?
Girl: Nah, You kind get used to them after a while. If it does get uncomfortable, I have these eye
drops, so you just pooppoop and you’re good to go. Glasses are a major pain in the ass anyway, I
used to have them you know years ago but I kept losing them.
Third (to One): Checkmate old boy!
One: Set it up again
Third: Nah, we already played four times, I’m going home now.
One: Exactly, it’s a tie; we need to play one more game to settle the score… come on.
Third (thinks for a bit): Hmm, Nah. I’m going home.
One: Okay Girl, let’s go.
Girl: Fine (moves seats to sit opposite One), (to Third) But could you guys get like a monopoly set or
something next time.
Third: I don’t own a monopoly set.
Exit Third
Girl (to One): I’m gonna be white. (He turns the board around)
Main: Hey have you guys tried these Satsumas, they’re pretty good.
Girl: Gimme (Main puts a Satsuma wedge into Girl’s mouth)
Main: Let me tell you what’s good about Satsumas, they’re like oranges but… (peals Satsuma
effortlessly) they’re easy to peal.
One: In that case bananas are even better. They come in their own little case, you eat ‘em – chuck it
away - no fuss no muss.
Girl’s phone rings (Supervillains ringtone) – she checks it and puts it back in her pocket.
One: Who was that?
Girl: Oh it was nobody, I keep getting this stupid chain letter that says ‘forward this to 16 bagazillion
people in 2 seconds or else you’ll be constipated’
Everyone chuckles
Third enters, and walks over to the table.
Third: Forget my book (picks up Pride and Prejudice)
Cut to Filmmaker interview
(FM is sitting on the sofa with Erik next to him)
FM: I wanna make this movie, hopefully by next year –err it’s a romantic comedy, I’m in the middle
of casting right now, I held a few auditions but I still need to find the female lead.
Interviewer off screen: What’s it called?
FM: Err the working title is Fuzzy Grubs…so hopefully I’ll make that by next year but there’s too
many characters I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it.
Cut to FILM montage
Cut back to interview
FM: It’s hard you know, you have to think about a lot like the story, the casting – acting,
cinematography, location – because the technology to make films is so cheap now, a lot of people
think anyone can do it and people who want to break into the movie business, a lot of the students
worry about all this new competition but at the same time, all those crappy movies aren’t really
competition if your movie is fucking badass. Sure they’re a lot of PEOPLE out there now but if you
make something that fucking grabs the audience and shakes them, then people will notice.
Cut to FILM 2
IOS: What’s the hardest part of a making a movie?
FM: I think for young indie filmmakers, finding the right actors is always tough. Especially for people
like me who make films with no budget. The casting process can take a lot of time. I kinda put up
posters everywhere for casting calls and hold auditions but …err yeah the auditions are always errm
pretty…interesting.
Cut to Auditions
FM: Err Let me see… I think it’s forty…one short films, with Fuzzy Grubs it’s forty two. So yeah, and I
write, direct and edit all of the movies myself. On location they’re will be me working the camera
and Erik on the sound (Erik nods), there is no proper crew or anything which can make it pretty hard
sometimes. – Cut to them on set – The good thing is that since my films are made with no money
and no crew, people don’t criticise them that much, so I don’t really worry about how bad they look
some times.
Cut to FILM 1
FM: I wanted to make a pornographic epic once, with a complex narrative and lots of special effects
but unfortunately I could never come up with a good story.
Interviewer: Do you think you’ll still make movies when you’re older?
FM: Yeah…yeah, I think I’ll always keep on making films you know, even if it’s not what I end up
doing to make a living….(pauses and looks down) cos you know without my films I’m nobody.
Cut to third scene in the classroom
Girl: *Hamlet’s monologue*
One, Main and Third who are sat in a line start clapping. Third has a bag of pretzels in his hand,
which he puts down on the table to clap.
Darjeeling limited style shot of three guys clapping
Girl: Yeah you guys like it?
One: No, that was really good, just the fact that you memorised it all in the original script. That’s
Brilliant. It’s gonna be weird seeing all the characters played by girls but no it was pretty good.
Girl: (as she grabs the bag of pretzels and starts eating) Yeah, I hope that’ll impress Mr H –
Third: When do you have to do it?
Girl: The actual auditions were actually about two weeks ago I think, but the girl who was supposed
to play Hamlet, she was brilliant but her family joined some sort of weird religious cult where acting
is like one of the seven major sins or something.
Main (to third/one): Yeah, she has to shave her head every full moon and she can’t eat peas
Girl: No, she can eat peas but only a Wednesday after sunset.
Third: That’s alright
One: That’s some freaky deaky shit.
Main: I gotta go use the toilet. (gets up and goes out the room) (as he goes out, he and girl glance at
each other)
Girls: Anyway since, she isn’t gonna do the play anymore; Lucy, Chris and Mr H are doing special
auditions again just for that one role.
One: Why do they call this guy ‘MR’ H?
Third (to Girl): Didn’t they have a fall back option?
One: Yeah they usually have understudies in plays, in case the actor falls ill or something.
Girl: Yeah they usually do but I don’t know what happened. (Smiling) I guess it’s just the universe
giving me another chance.
Third: A girl joins a religious cult, so you get to act in a play. That could make a good short story.
(starts scribbling stuff on a piece of paper)
Girl: These…pretzels are making me thirsty. I’m gonna go get a glass of water. (she gets up and
leaves)
One looks at Third writing and looks away.
Cut to FM and Main scene
FM: More than anything it’s the building I like. If they had just the empty building I would still go.
Main: What about the dinosaurs?
FM: Yeah the dinosaurs are good too. – Little to the right…
Model: …Is that good?
FM: Hmm…Back a little bit…Perfect!
Main: How long were you there?
FM: Couple of hours. We tried to see as much as we could before lunch. I took some photographs.
Then we went over to Victoria and Albert.
Main: I like the V&A they’ve got some good stuff there.
FM: Yeah, I go there sometimes for inspiration. They’ve got a real variety. Overall I would say it was
fun. A fun day.
Main: …So?
FM: What?
Main: Come on.
FM: Honestly…I’d just like to be friends with her right now.
Main: Yeah, well you can try selling that bullshit to the tourists cos I’m not buying it.
FM: I’m not saying I don’t like her, it’s just that whole ordeal with Jane has…left a bad taste in my
mouth. I’d just like to take things slow with Wanda.
Cut to room, FM is painting a portrait of a model, Main is sitting beside him.
Main: Slow
FM: Real fucking slow. Anyway, did you find her?
Main: Well you see that’s what I came down here to talk to you about.
FM: So?
Main: There is no one - that goes to this school by the name of Sara Smith.
FM: What do you mean?
Main: There is a SANDRA Smith and six Sara’s but not one Sara Smith.
FM: What are you trying to say?
Main: What I’m trying to say is that Mr H or whatever his name is, was just fucking with you. This girl
doesn’t exist.
FM: …
Main: So what now?
FM: Forget about it…I think I know a way to make it without a girl. (sips drink from cup in Wes
Anderson style)
Cut to Exam
Over head shots of all four of them doing their English exam. Blow out style. See how it feels when
you start the sitar music now instead of the tick tocks.
After the Exam – the scene near the pond area. Main and Girl are together on the bridge. He kisses
her on the cheek (woody Allen style). Shot of One setting paper boats assail on the water. Another
shot of him from far behind like in the virgin spring when the father is asking god way. Shots of
fish/insects PP style maybe. Shot of third reading Ghost World, shot reveals only the back cover of
the book though. Shot of One getting up and going over to Main, he goes over and gives him a dvd
(long shot with everyone in frame. Cut to black, start credits. Throughout the whole scene play
Resin.