Sibert 1
Paige Sibert
Dr. Murdock
Intermediate Composition 2089
15 October 2015
Wideman Project
Our Time by John Wideman tells a story of two brothers who, even though they grew
up with the same family, lead two completely different lives. Though the main focus is on
Robby and John, Wideman also tells the stories of the environment and people
surrounding. For instance, Wideman interrupts the main plot to talk about Robby and his
mother.
John moved to Wyoming leaving his mother to deal with Robby on her own. Robby
wasn’t a little kid, and he was old enough to make decisions for himself, but he hardly ever
made the right decision. Like all mother’s, John and Robby’s worried excessively for
Robby’s safety. “My mother worried about Robby all the time. Whenever I visited home,
sooner or later I’d find myself alone with Mom and she’d pour out her fears about Robby’s
wildness, the deep trouble he was bound for, the web of entanglements and intrigues and
bad company he was weaving around himself with a maddening disregard for the
inevitable consequences.” (Wideman 428) She never blamed Robby or thought of him as a
terrible son. She had unconditional love for him. “He was a good boy. No saint for sure, but
deep down a good boy. Like your brother. Not a mean bone in his body” (Wideman 430)
“She could love her son, accept his guilt, accept the necessity of punishment, suffer with
him, grow with him past the stage of blaming everyone but himself for his troubles, grieve
with him when true penitence began to exalt its toll.” (Wideman 433)
Sibert 2
When one of Robby’s friend’s died, she blamed the doctors for letting him die. She
felt they just didn’t care about him and pushed him to the side. This made her fear for
Robby’s safety and well being even more. Before Garth’s death she use to be a laid back,
slow to react kind of person. She wasn’t quick to judge. She would put herself and her
opinions off to the side and consider the other party’s proposal. “She reacted strongly to
things but at the same time held judgment in abeyance. Events, personalities always
deserved a second, slower appraisal, and evaluation outside the sphere of everyday hassles
and vexations. You gave people the veneift of the doubt. You attempted to remove your ego,
acknowledge the limitations of your individual view of things.” (Wideman 430) Authority
didn’t make her nervous. It didn’t matter what class you fell in, she would treat everyone
the same. She was just like your every day ordinary American. When it came to arguments
and fixing situations, she always sought the middle ground, the solution, even when her son
was being arrested. “She didn’t invent the two sides and initially didn’t believe there
couldn’t be a middle ground. She extended the benefit of the doubt. Tried to situate herself
somewhere in between, acknowledging the evil of her son’s crime while simultaneously
holding on to the fact that he existed as a human begin, before, after, and during the crime
he committed.” (Wideman 432) She knew Robby was guilty, but she never gave up hope on
him. She was always there to support him and love him. He was constantly at the center of
her attention.
Many pose the question, “How does one develop their self identity?” Self identity can
be influenced by many different external and internal factors. A person’s family,
community, and friends play a vital role in a person’s self identity. We are with our family
everyday. We spend the majority of our lives with them. The way our parents raise us plays
Sibert 3
a huge role in the beliefs we adopt. They serve as our basis. We make the final decision and
form our own beliefs and opinions, but having that foundation helps guide our thought
processes. Our family also keeps us stable. Even if we make a mistake, no matter what it is,
our family is always there. They are there to lend a listening ear, give advice, and provide
the support we need when times are tough. Unfortunately not every one has a good
relationship with their family. This still influences who a person will become. They may
find their own “family” to be apart of, even if they are not blood related to them, or they
may grow up and never create a family of their own because they don’t know how.
The area we live in and the people surrounding us can change what we believe very
easily. During our adolescent years, we are very impressionable. We may have the
foundations our parents gave us, but we often look to our peers and surroundings for new
guidance. Many people look for good communities to raise their children. Where we live
may seem like an insignificant detail, but it truly does make a difference. Like in Our Time
Robby and John grew up in two different neighborhoods. John grew up away from the
ghetto. He focused on his school work and hung around the “right crowd”. Robby didn’t
care about school. He only wanted to be hanging out with his friends. If a community is full
of people stealing items to sell for money to buy drugs, it often desensitizes a person to
stealing. It can give a person the mindset of “If everyone in the community is dong it is
must be fine.” Depending on the type of friends we pick, our futures and potential to do
well can fluctuate. If we pick a group of friends who listen to their parents, follow the rules,
and generally stay out of trouble, we will most likely follow suit. When we get into the
wrong group though, we tend to follow them down the wrong road. It may just begin as
innocent fun, like going to parties just to hang out with a group of friends. But many times
Sibert 4
what was suppose to be just hanging out can turn into something very different. Many
parties have alcohol and drugs present. In order to stay apart of the “cool” crowd, many will
feel pressured to take the drugs or alcohol. This is where many kids are lost. Both
substances are extremely addictive and can swallow a person whole. Before we know it, we
have let our friends talk us straight into addiction.
Sibert 5
Works Cited
Bartholomae, David, Anthony Petrosky, and Stacey Waite. "Our Time." Ways of Reading: An
Anthology for Writers. Tenth ed. Bedford, 2014. 422-59. Print