Kristina Cowan
Professor
ENGL2089
6 Sep 2015
A Mother’s Reflection
Wideman’s mother has some very different attitudes throughout her story. We get to see
her as a loving mother to her boys, in a time of frustration, and also showing acceptance and
hatred of the world around her. Her story is unique, and yet is reflected in the stories of her sons,
John and Robby. They pick up on her traits and use them in their own situations that life has
thrown at them.
Despite how troubled Robby and Garth were, Robby’s mom was always looking on the
brighter side of things. She mentions that although Garth was no good, he still pursued a job and
helped out his mother. She feels sorrow for how Garth’s life played out. Putting blame on the
doctors for his death is easy, and that’s exactly what she does. At this moment, her personality
shifts, from being an accepting person of a troubled boy, to being resentful of the world she lived
in. John himself even states “I guess I hadn’t realized how much my mother had begun to
change” (Wideman 430). This marks the point where she becomes a different person. She all of
the sudden hates the thought of Garth, as it connects to her son. “They had killed Garth, and his
dying had killer part of her son” (Wideman 431). She makes these chain linked connections in
order to put blame on someone else for the state Robby is now in.
Even though she has so much hatred in her now, she still finds a way to be there for her
son. On page 432 John says “Throughout the ordeal her love for [Robby] wouldn’t change,
couldn’t change” and she begins to show her acceptance of her troubled son once again
(Wideman). Their mother is very good at paying attention to both sides of a situation. She
acknowledges that her son’s crime was wrong, but she was still his mother and that was
something she would always stand by. In recognizing the punishments that Robby would face,
the word “fair” is discussed. Being “fair” is what Robby’s mom expected, but it is not what she
received. His punishments were only based off of the criminal side of his actions, and not on the
fact that he is still human. Mom has trouble with this and this is another turning point for her as
she sees how cruel this world can be. After these moments spent standing by her son in this
devastating time, she “expects the worst” (Wideman 433). The world seems to be an unfair and
awful place, and she does not want a part in it.
We’ve all heard the saying “you learn what you live”, and this applies directly to John
and Robby. Their mother’s attitude are reflected in John and Robby, each one containing a
different part of her. John is seen to have a good head on his shoulders, yet Robby is seen as the
rebellion that never broke his old habits.
While visiting Robby in prison, John shows good composure and calmness in the
presence of his brother. On page 436, John realizes how similar him and Robby are, and for
those moments talking with Robby, John just listened and allowed himself to “forget the
difference” (Wideman). Looking back, John’s mother was once described as “radiating a deep
calm” (Wideman 430). In this segment of the story that focuses on John’s reactions in the prison,
he is patient and understanding toward Robby, which mirrors the image his mother used to hold.
He also shows a side of his mother in how much love he still had for his imprisoned brother. He
knows that he and Robby are two completely different people, but he is still there, and is open to
hearing his side of the story. Even though he admits to hearing what he wants to hear, and
rejecting the rest, he tries to push past this flaw of his in order to hear out his family member
(Wideman 436).
Their family they grew up with as a whole also affects both of these boys when it comes
to communication. Their family was never the type to share thoughts or feelings, and that is very
much seen in the conversation and actions in Wideman’s story. One way this absence of
communication is seen is through John’s writing. He writes feelings and thoughts in order to
share them, rather than saying them aloud. John says “the stories I’d send to Robby were an
attempt to reveal what I thought about certain matters crucial to us both” and this statement
shows evidence for the lifestyle they grew up in (Wideman 439). If something is a crucial topic
to discuss between brothers, they should be able to speak of it, rather than keep it on a piece of
paper. Their family is very private and refers to personal thoughts as everyone’s own “hut” that
“certified your separateness” (Widmen 439). John found new ways to communicate by writing,
but the separateness in their family had a more negative affect on Robby.
Robby saw the privacy in his life as a sign to do things his own way and because of that,
he became a rebel, stating that he “had [his] own territory and [it] was bad” (Wideman 444).
Working backwards from Robby’s words, he mentions that vigilance and awareness seem to
come together in their own pair. His mother was one to understand both sides of the situation,
and while Robby was careful about the dangers he put himself in, he was still aware of the other
side that could ruin his life. He recognized these opposing sides that came from his own actions,
just as his mother did when it came to fairness. However, like his mother, Robby too, now sees
the worst scenarios possible in the world. “To pretend you could control your own destiny was a
joke” is a line from page 442 that sums up Robby’s feelings of his entire situation (Wideman).
Robby is being sentenced to death, the worst possible outcome that could come to him, and now
he grasps the bitterness his mom now has.
These two boys take on a mirror image from the personalities that their mother has
exampled for them. From Mom’s words spoken to John, to her actions and feelings that are
identified by the people around her, her sons have picked up on these personality characteristics
she illustrates. They have retained her examples in their personal lives and possess these similar
characteristics in order to deal with circumstances they face.
Works Cited
Wideman, John Edgar. "Brothers and Keepers: Our Time." Ways of Reading: An Anthology for
Writers. 10th ed. New York: Bedford/Martin's, 2005. 422-59. Print