Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
What is Plain Language?
 “Plain English is clear, straightforward expression, using
only as many words as are necessary. It is language that
avoids obscurity, inflated vocabulary and convoluted
sentence construction. It is not baby talk, nor is it a
simplified version of the English language. Writers of plain
English let their audience concentrate on the message
instead of being distracted by complicated language. They
make sure that their audience understands the message
easily.”
 (From plainlanguage.gov.)
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Why is Plain Language Important?
 “Plain language” is the current movement in administrative
policy writing at all levels of government.
 The plain-language movement arose as a reaction against
bureaucratic style.
 Prose in the bureaucratic style is needlessly difficult to read, uses
archaic words and phrases, and is generally inaccessible to the
average citizen.
 The movement away from bureaucratic style emerged in the
1970s. Plain language advocates thought that the large volume
of inaccessibly bureaucratic documents produced by the federal
government was not appropriate in a democratic society.
 Government is supposed to serve the people.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Why Is Plain Language Important?
Thus, plain-language reform is an effort is to make
government communication readable and
understandable.
In the 70s and 90s, a series of executive orders
mandated plain language in the federal government.
The Plain Writing Act of 2010, signed by President
Obama, requires heads of federal agencies to use plain
language in documents produced by their agencies.
So what is plain language?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Bureaucratic Style
 Before we discuss the elements of plain language, let’s
look at what it isn’t to give you a sense of what the
plain language movement is struggling against.
 The following is a “before and after” from
plainlanguage.gov.
 The National Oceanic and Atmosphere
Administration (NOAA) published a quick-reference
document for boat operators “skippers” who are
required to participate in training workshops put on by
the NOAA.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Before and After
 Before:
 Huh???
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Before and After
 After:
 What are the differences?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
What are the Elements of Plain Language?
 We are going to talk about the following elements of plain
language over the next two weeks:
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Audience
Paragraphs
Sentences
Word choice
 Our discussion today borrows a good deal from the Federal Plain
Language Guidelines, a document published at
plainlanguage.gov.
 You should download this document and review it to prepare the
writing assignment for this unit. The link is on the course
calendar.
 This week we are covering audience and paragraphs.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Audience
 Documents written in any context are usually directed toward one or
more audiences, whether real or imagined.
 An audience may be one particular person or a group of people:
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Your boss
A regulated industry
The public at large
Chemists
State representatives
A government agency
 Identifying your audience and writing for that audience and their
expectations will enhance clarity and increase your ability to be
persuasive.
 Decisions about word choice and presentation of material will depend
upon your audience.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Audience
Chapter 1 of your textbook discussed the concept of
audience. The purpose of web-document rewrite was to
exercise your ability to adapt word choice and sentences to
make the document accessible to a defined audience.
This concept applies to writing plain language. The idea is
to write in a way that is clear and understandable to your
audience.
One example of such adaptation is the use of jargon.
Jargon is “the vocabulary, peculiar to a particular trade,
profession, or group.” (dictionary.com).
When you are writing in a plain-language style, is it ok to
use jargon?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Audience
 Answer: it depends on your audience.
 If you are writing to members of a group that has a unique jargon, they
may expect to see it. If you are writing to the general public, you should
seek to minimize it.
 In fact, you may need to understand and use an audience’s jargon in
order to establish your own credibility with a particular profession or
other group.
 Jargon can include
 Technical vocabulary: “The company has installed two electrostatic
precipitators.”
 Terms of art: “consideration” has an everyday meaning and a completely
different legal meaning.
 Acronyms: NPDES (National Pollution Discharge Elimination System)
 Consider the following manual published by the EPA.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Audience
 An electrostatic precipitator is a piece of pollution-control
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equipment used in various industries.
It removes fine particles called particulate matter from an emission
source (a smoke stack). Particulate matter is a form of air pollution.
Who is the likely audience for a training manual on industrial
pollution control equipment?
Notice the document use of terms like “particulate matter,” “coal-fired
utility boilers,” and “electrostatic precipitator” without any explanation.
If the audience is already familiar with these terms, is the previous page
written in plain language for that audience?
Would an ordinary member of the public consider this document to be
written in plain language?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Paragraphs
 The Guidelines list four elements of clear paragraphs:
 Have a topic sentence.
 Use transition words.
 Write short paragraphs.
 Cover only one topic in each paragraph.
 We will talk about each of these in turn.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Have a Topic Sentence
 The Guidelines provide: “If you flood readers with details first,
they become impatient and may resist hearing your message. A
good topic sentence draws the audience into your paragraph.”
 You have to be intentional about writing topic sentences because
it is contrary to the way we think.
 often we think about a topic in a haphazard way.
 or we start with a conclusion, and then think of the reasons or
necessary background information later.
 The topic sentence is not your conclusion. Rather, it is the
general subject-matter to be developed in the paragraph. The
ultimate conclusion of the paragraph may be near the end.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Have a Topic Sentence
Also, the Guidelines point out that, especially in
government documents, readers want to be able to
skim the document and gather the essential
information.
Suspense, allusion, and metaphor are not valued in
this genre of writing.
Nobody is cozying up with a copy of government
regulations or reports to read before bed.
Clear topic sentences help your readers get the
information they need quickly.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Topic Sentence Example
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Topic Sentence Example
 Notice how the topic sentence orients us to the subject.
 We are talking about B&E Concrete. They manufacture
construction materials. That is the preliminary information we
need to understand this paragraph.
 The last sentence expresses a conclusion that is based on this topic
and additional facts.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Topic Sentence Example
 If the conclusion were placed first, the paragraph would be harder to
read.
 It would introduce too much information to process:
 the idea of this B&E company
 feedstock reports
 EPA enforcement
 Also leading with the conclusion is frustrating for the reader. The
reader must take it as true and read the entire paragraph. The reader
has to maintain that trust until the end of the paragraph.
 At that point, the reader might have to go back to the first sentence,
read it again, and decide if your conclusion makes sense.
 Don’t require your reader to put in this extra effort. Use a topic sentence
that logically leads to a conclusion so the reader can see how you got
there on the first reading.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Use Transition Words
 Often topic sentences serve another purpose: they
link one paragraph to another.
 Use transition words to show the reader you are
linking ideas.
 The Guidelines discuss the following types:
 Pointing words: this, that, etc.
 Echo links: words or phrases that repeat previous ideas.
 Explicit connectives: therefore, accordingly, thus, etc.
 Let’s look at how they are used in topic sentences.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Use Transition Words
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Use Transition Words
I would add that the idea of transition words also applies within
paragraphs.
A well-constructed paragraph makes it easy to see the logical
connection between ideas.
Organize sentences so that they develop the idea of the previous
sentence and ultimately reach your conclusion.
Think of a paragraph as a chain of reasoning.
Use transition words that refer back to a previous idea or show
that you are constructing a chain: this, that, therefore, etc.
Consider the example paragraph we have been using. Notice two
things about:
 The logical development of ideas based the prior sentences.
 The use of transition words to signal this development.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Write Short Paragraphs
Short paragraphs are easier to understand.
They ask readers to process the text is smaller, bite-sized chucks.
Accordingly, short paragraphs are more likely to actually be read.
This is especially true when writing in a public-policy context.
Government regulations are extremely boring reading material.
Thus, the subject matter of public-policy writing itself means
you are starting with the distinct disadvantage in keeping an
audience’s attention.
Look at the following example. Do you want to read this?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Write Short Paragraphs
 Me neither!
 But the hard reality is that public-policy writers must deal with
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tedious and boring information.
And often they have to communicate it to an audience that is
distracted, has a short attention span, or doesn’t care.
Use short paragraphs to make tedious writing less painful.
Short paragraphs can mean as few as two sentences, or
sometimes even one. (Yes, one.)
Then use subject headings to break up the material into
identifiable parts.
Notice the short paragraphs and subject headings in the
following guidance document on public drinking water systems.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Write Short Paragraphs
 What would the same document look like without the
short paragraphs and subject headings?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Cover One Topic per Paragraph
 The Guidelines also suggest limiting the subject matter
of paragraphs to one topic.
 For example:
 If you are discussing a procedure one must follow, make
paragraphs based on each step. Don’t combine steps in
one paragraph. It is easier for readers to skip a step.
 If you are discussing a subject that has many
alternatives, treat each alternative as a separate
paragraph.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Practice!
Complete the plain-language exercise for this week.
Link is on the course calendar.
No writing project this week.
Next week we will continue our discussion of plain
language with sentences and word choice.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Plain Language Part II
Sentences and Word Choice
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Sentences
We’re talking about writing in a “plain language” style.
It is now the preferred style for government communication.
The purpose is to make government communication clear and
accessible.
We’re using the Federal Plain Language Guidelines.
The Guidelines include four elements for writing clear sentences
I want to discuss:
 Write short sentences.
 Keep subject, verb, and object close together.
 Place the main idea before exceptions.
 Place words carefully.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Write Short Sentences
This seems like pretty straight-forward advice. But it is
often more difficult than it sounds.
Public-policy writers have the challenge of conveying
complicated information.
Suppose a writer is tasked with explaining a series of
requirements.
However, this is made difficult by the fact that each
requirement has different exceptions and other nuances.
Consider the following sentence that tries to cover too
much ground.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Write Short Sentences
 That is one sentence.
 Notice how hard it is to understand.
 What exactly is a public water supply system?
 How could this sentence be split into several?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Write Short Sentences
 That is much easier to read. Use of bullet points also
helps.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Keep SVO Close
 The subject, verb, and direct object of a sentence usually
convey the essential meaning.
 Other phrases and modifiers limit or qualify that essential
meaning.
 When writers insert modifying phrases between subject
and verb, the sentence becomes harder to read. Compare:
 The investigator observed an explosion.
 The investigator, after climbing to the roof-top of the refinery,
observed at or near the time the suspect valve was opened an
explosion.
 Consider the example given in the Guidelines:
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Keep SVO Close
 If all the modifying information is important to the
writer, how could the sentence be reworked?
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Keep SVO Close
 How could you rework the example about observing an
explosion?
 “The investigator, after climbing to the roof-top of the
refinery, observed at or near the time the suspect valve was
opened an explosion.”
 Assume all the information is essential to the writer’s
purpose.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Avoid Confusing Constructions
It is clearer to phrase an idea in positive terms rather
than negative terms.
Negative: You may not enter the pool unless the
lifeguard is seated on the chair.
Positive: You may enter the pool if the lifeguard is
seated on the chair.
Positive (emphasizing the exclusive condition):
You may enter the pool only when the lifeguard is
seated on the chair.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Place the Main Idea First
Government regulations are often structured in a way that includes a
general idea or requirement, and then a number of exceptions to that
requirement.
Sentences that put the exceptions first are difficult to read. Such
sentences ask you to keep in your mind an exception to something
which has not yet been revealed.
Anytime you ask a reader to understand something you have not yet
explained, you have lost clarity.
“Except for carpeting, dishwashers, power tools, and yard equipment,
everything at the hardware store is on sale.”
 About mid-way through the exceptions, you are probably wondering
what this sentence is about.
 This is a very common fault in public policy writing. A textbook
example from Texas solid waste regulations:
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Place Words Carefully
 The word “only” emphasizes the word or phrase that
comes immediately after it.
 “The program is available only to those who make less
than 150% of the federal poverty guidelines.”
Versus
 “The program is only available to those who make less
than 150% of the federal poverty guidelines.”
 If the sentence is emphasizing that the program is
limited to those people, the first is preferable.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Place Words Carefully
 Put conditions after the main clause of a sentence.
 Why? Beginning of the sentence is position of emphasis.
You usually want to emphasize the requirement you are
talking about rather than the condition that triggers it. …
 But not always. Compare:
 “You must prepare a site investigation if H2O is found at
the site in concentrations of greater than 2.0 ppm.”
Versus
 “If H2O is found at the site in concentrations of greater
than 2.0 ppm, you must prepare a site investigation.”
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Words
 The Guidelines include elements for clear word choice.
We will talk about four of them:
 Use active verbs
 Don’t turn verbs into nouns
 Omit unnecessary words
 Use words consistently
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Active Verbs
You were probably told in English class to avoid the passive voice.
What is the passive versus active voice?
Active voice: The subject of the sentence performs the action.
Passive voice: The subject of the sentence is acted upon.
In a passive sentence, the actor is either left unstated or is named in a
“by” phrase.
Examples:
 Active: The motorcyclist hit the pedestrian.
 Passive: The pedestrian was hit by the motorcyclist.
 Passive: The pedestrian was hit.
 The motorcyclist is the actor. In the first sentence, he is the subject.
The subject of the second two sentences is the thing being acted upon,
not the actor. The pedestrian is the one who was hit.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Active Verbs
 The passive voice can be problematic because it buries or
obscures the actor.
 Thus, in order to write sentences with clear meaning, the active
voice is usually better.
 Especially true in government writing that concerns obligations
and responsibilities. If a sentence imposes an obligation on
someone, you should always be clear about who that someone is.
 “The permit will be approved no later than sixty days from the
submittal date.”
Versus
 “The State will approve the permit no later than sixty days from
the submittal date.”
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Active Verbs
 The passive voice is appropriate in situations where
you want to de-emphasize the actor or when the actor
is unknown.
 “The store was robbed six times last year.”
 Robbed by whom? We might not know.
 Or the identity of the robbers might not matter in the
context.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Don’t Turn Verbs into Nouns
 Sentences with strong main verbs are clear. Sentences
are made weak by turning the verbs into nouns.
 When verbs are turned into nouns, they often require
an additional phrase that makes the sentence
unnecessarily wordy.
 “The FAA conducted an investigation of the site.”
Versus
 “The FAA investigated the site.”
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Don’t Turn Verbs into Nouns
 You can identify weak verbs by words like make, have,
reach, or take.
 “The committee has reached a conclusion”
 “The committee has concluded.”
 Verbs that have been turned into nouns can often be
identified with endings –ment, -tion, or -sion.
 “Please provide us an extension to file the letter.”
 “Please extend our deadline to file the letter.”
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Omit Unnecessary Words
 If the audience clearly knows an abbreviation, it is ok to use
without explanation.
 A letter addressed to the Federal Aviation Administration can
use “FAA” to refer to the agency. (They know what it means.)
 Otherwise, use the standard convention for introducing an
abbreviation or acronym.
 Spell out the term the first time it is used.
 Then put the abbreviation in parenthesis . Afterwards, use the
abbreviation.
 Example: “The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) finds that
you are no longer registered as a Type 3 pilot. Pursuant to FAA’s
rules, pilots must maintain a registration.”
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Omit Unnecessary Words
One feature of bureaucratic style is the information
dump. The writer fills sentences with as much information
as possible without regard to whether it is relevant.
It is a defensive writing tactic: If you include every
possible detail, reservation, or qualification, no one can
ever fault you for not including it.
But such writing becomes tedious and your message can be
lost in the weeds of details.
It is also a lazy way to write. The writer doesn’t want to
think about which details or qualifications are really
necessary. So just include them all.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Omit Unnecessary Words
 Sometimes it is necessary to include qualifications and
supporting details like we saw in the above examples. You
have to be judicious about it.
 Consider whether details are relevant to your audience.
 “The Board has finished reviewing your application as
required by Rule 21 and the 2006 amendments to Rule 21.”
 If the recipient of this communication is someone who wants
a permit, is it really relevant which rule requires the Board to
review the permit? Maybe. But probably not.
 It all depends on the context. The lesson here is to consider
whether such detail is really necessary.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
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Use Words Consistently
If your writing refers to some object or entity, make sure
you refer to it consistently.
Suppose an entity has applied to renew several permits to
conduct offshore drilling.
Correspondence concerning this application may refer to
multiple permits: the old ones and the renewed permits the
entity is seeking.
In such case, using the term “permit” may become
ambiguous. Which permit? The old one or the new one?
This is often where the use of defined terms comes in
handy.
Consider the following example:
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Use Words Consistently
 Notice how the defined terms “2001 Permit” and “2002
Permit” help avoid confusion.
Administrative Policy Writing
Spring 2011
Practice!
 Complete the plain language exercise for this week.
 Then complete the letter revision project.
 Please note, the project incorporates several units:
 Professional Style
 Business Letter Formatting
 Plain Language