The Development of
First-time Mothers'
Feelings for their Babies
in Early Postpartum
Madeleine R. Kerrick
Doctoral Candidate, UCSC
Berkeley ~ Stanford ~ UCSC
Developmental Psychology Symposium
University of California, Santa Cruz
Saturday, May 2, 2015
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What to Expect When You’re Expecting
The process of bonding is different for every
parent and every baby, and it doesn’t come with
a use-by date...Believe it or not, before you know
it, you’ll feel like the mother you are (really!),
bound to your baby by the kind of love you’ve
dreamed of.
Murkoff & Mazel, 2008 (p. 430-431)
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From the journal NeuroImage:
The tender intimacy and selflessness of a
mother’s love for her infant occupies a unique
and exalted position in human conduct... [It] has
been celebrated throughout the ages—in
literature, art and music—as one of the most
beautiful and inspiring manifestations of human
behavior.
Bartels & Zeki, 2004 (p. 1155)
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Maternal-Infant Bonding
From a ‘sensitive period’ (Klaus & Kennel, 1976)
to backlash (e.g., Lamb, 1982)
to surveys and behavioral measures of ‘bonding
disorder’ (cf., Kinsey & Hupcey, 2012)
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Master Narrative
• How mothers should feel about their babies
• But what do mothers themselves say they
feel?
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The Present Research
• How do mothers describe their feelings for
and connection to their babies?
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Participants
•
•
•
•
n = 34 interviewed, singleton pregnancies
23-39 y.o., M = 31
100% married/partnered
80% White, 5.9% Latina, 5.9% Other, 8.8%
Biethnic
• 100% had at least some college
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Interviews
• Semi-structured interviews (29-135 minutes,
M = 75)
– in person, or by Skype or phone
• 9-17 weeks postpartum (M≈12 wks)
• Interviews were audio-recorded and
transcribed
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Identifying ‘Feelings Talk Episodes’
• Mother’s feelings/connection toward her
baby.
– talk of feelings (+, -, absent ) toward or about her
baby (in utero or since birth).
And/Or
– talk of connection to her baby (in utero or since
birth; including lack of connection).
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• A mother of twins on being pregnant:
• Um I actually loved being pregnant...
– Not feelings talk – about state of being pregnant
• I loved being pregnant and I especially when I could
feel them (1) moving around inside of me ...that was
just really (.) special I feel very (.) felt very connected
to them
– Feelings talk – about babies
•
•
(.) – micropause
(1) – 1 second pause
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Coding
• Each Feelings Talk Episode coded as:
– Instant
– Delayed
– Questioned
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Instant
Connection or love that is:
intimate
instant
easy
rewarding
strong
certain
exciting
amazing
a flood of emotions
overwhelming [positive] feelings
love at first sight
falling in love
an area of capability
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Delayed
Connection or love that was:
difficult
missing/absent
taking time
lacking
no wave of emotions
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Questioned
Connection or love that is:
Questioned
Doubted
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Preliminary Results
Of 16 analyzed transcripts:
– Only 1 had no ‘Feelings Talk Episodes’
– M # of episodes/transcript ≈ 3 (0-9)
N = 44 episodes
Instant
Delayed
Questioned
32
11
1
15
100%
90%
Proportion of Episode
80%
70%
60%
50%
Instant
40%
Delayed
30%
Questioned
20%
10%
0%
2
1
4
6
2
1
1
3
3
1
3
9
3
3
2
0
Participants by # of Episodes
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Case Studies
Sally, 35 y.o., White & Latina
Caitlin, 28 y.o., White
• Married
• Bachelor’s degree
• Wanted to be pregnant when
conceived
• Trying
• Uncomplicated pregnancy
• Planned natural hospital birth w/
Certified Nurse Midwife, doula
• Gave birth by cesarean at 40 wks
• Partnered
• Bachelor’s degree
• Wanted to be pregnant when
conceived
• Not trying
• Uncomplicated pregnancy
• Planned home birth w/ Certified
Professional Midwife
• Gave birth at home at 40 wks
• Interviewed at 12 weeks
• 3 Delayed Love/Connection
Episodes, 1 Questioned
• Interviewed at 11 weeks
• 2 Instant Love/Connection
Episodes
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I:
um (0.7) so (0.9) what were your first thoughts after he was born
S:
I- Tom reminded me cause I didn't remember what I said um I said “I
love him so much” (.) an and just cause he was just like on me an and and
just sort of clinging to me and like crying an- and um and um just like (.) it
was just awesome awesome experience and and you know just it's so
visceral [you know=
I:
S:
[mm
=u:m eh- that (.hhh) there aren't (.) really(.) a lot of (.) words you [know=
I:
[yeah
S:
=it's just like because an- and especially with (.) the surgery and
everything like that I mean your whole (.) body is shaking with
medication and stuff like that (.) part of the side effect is that you have
uncontrollable [shakes you know=
I:
[mm mhm
S:
=and u:m and also you're paralyzed from the waist down
I:
ye:[ah
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S:
[um um an- and you remain↑ that way for a while afterwards
[you know=
I:
[yes
S:
=you don't get the feeling back um (.) and you're hooked up to all these
things and then you have just like this little warm little baby on ya- I
mean it's it's it's you know kind of like no other experience [um=
I:
S:
[°yeah°
=and and but very very visceral very (0.6) you know um (.) very primal
[you know=
I:
[mhm
S:
=and and so it's just like (.) you know tears of joy and just you know your
baby and (.) yeah
I:
yeah
S:
yeah mhm
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C: I had her in my arms and it was still like(.)it still didn't hit me you
know I didn't have that like wave of emotions like oh my my
wonderful little being that I created I was still kinda of like(.)oh my
god like(.)there’s a baby you know ohkay is it’s still happening like
it really happened the whole time I was really growing a baby and
here it is in my hands and and there she was and I had just a short
cord so I couldn't get her all the way up she was just like right at
my stomach right at the level of the water and they’re like bailing
water out you know cause its like this on her ((puts hands around
chin)) (.)and uh(.)so so there she was you know and that(.)then she
was there [((laughter)) =
I:
[yeah
C: = and she's been there ever since and I an it’s and it’s amazing to
me like that that actually happened but it’s still like you know I I
was I think I just was always waiting for that just wave of just
overwhelming emotion
I: mhm
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C:
I:
C:
I:
C:
I:
and it just never really happened it was like okay alright now we
have a baby now we got to take care of the baby you know it was
kinda like business more like by maybe my pregnancy and
everything was sort of like just business it was like just gotta take
care of [business you know I gotta go through the steps an the
motions and like alright here we are (.7) and um (1) and I still I
mean I I look at her and I love her and I you know she snuggle her
and she's mine and everything but I still don't feel like I've really
had that full like realization of like (.) where you just kinda of I just
imagine that it just sort of comes over you and its like whff I just
you know this little being [(.)and I don't know =
[yeah
= if its going to come (hhh) when she's [older =
[yeah
= I don't know when it you know but we'll find out ((henh))
totally
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Discussion
• Some but not all mothers talk about an
immediate, overwhelming love for and
connection to their babies
• Others describe a slower developmental
process
– Reference expectation, outside cues
– Feel guilt, shame
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Implications
• Delayed feelings complicate an already
difficult time
• Need more awareness around the range of
typical experiences
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My gratitude to
– You!
– The mothers who participated
– Avril Thorne
– RAs: Rachel Henry, Diana Rivas, Itzel Soto-Liu,
Catherine Spurrell, Kyle Sloan, Karen Piñon, Jose
Mariscal, Lisa Nunez, Wendi Pacheco
– Erin & Gunnar DiFazio, pictured in photos
Questions?
This work is supported by the National
Science Foundation (Grant # DGE13339067)
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