“Choose Your Future!”
Think about how long you will probably live – 78 years. The decisions you make in the next 4
years will affect the next 60 years of your life. The consequences of your current decisions will
affect 60 years. It is so important to make good decisions now, because every decision you make
has a cost or a reward. Make decisions based on your future, not on your “right now”. Some
parts of our future we have no control over, all we can concentrate on are those parts we can
control.
 What are your goals for the future? 5 years? 15 years? 50 years?
(Jobs, marital status, kids or not, family relationships, good health.)
 Know basic steps to reach goals!
Set priorities and goals now. This should include good grades, college plans, being married to the
same person all of your life or not, spending habits, saving money.
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Practice good spending habits now with your money, your parent’s money, and
others. Challenge yourself to be a good steward of money! What are some concrete
ways you can do this?
Place a value on your gift of sexuality now. Do you want to save this special gift
for your future husband or wife? Do you want to bond strongly with your future
spouse for your entire life on this earth, to share children, grandchildren, happiness
and sadness – to always be there for each other, or do you want to experiment with
that gift of sexuality early, and risk emotional distress, bad health and a strong
possibility of divorce(s). How do you want your future spouse to be using their
gift of sexuality right now?
“Opposites attract when it comes to personality, but opposites never attract
when it comes to character and integrity.” What does this mean to you?
Exercise: What are some character traits you want in your future spouse?
……… [trust worthy, truthful, sociable, respect, faithfulness, funny, smart, helpful, patient, cute,
hard worker, ambitious, honest, Christian, leader, adventurous, family oriented, easy to talk to,
ethical, goal oriented, good character, integrity, lovable, motivated, etc.]
What are some character traits you absolutely will not tolerate in your future spouse?
……… [lying, dishonest, lazy, rude, anti-sociable, disrespectful, unfaithful, bad mouth,
condemning, impatient, hard to talk to, unethical, selfish, bad character, arrogant, domineering,
temperamental, conceited, unreliable, dependent, pessimistic, condescending, etc.] {Have them
consider these same traits in people they date, since every date is candidate for future spouse.}
You need to really commit to having these character traits yourselves. You cannot change anyone
but yourself. You can influence others by your actions – good and bad, but you can only change
yourself! “Opposites attract when it comes to personalities, but opposites never attract when
it comes to character, respect and integrity.”
Now is the time to choose the value of your future spouse!
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Everyone is born with a sex drive. During adolescence/puberty it awakens inside each person and
is totally normal. Each of you knows what stirs up sexual desires in your own body. Control
your body - do not let it control you! Make a conscious effort to recognize these things and to
avoid them. Just like your favorite cake or hot chocolate chip cookies, if you keep looking at them,
you will have some. The same is true for sexual activity if you dwell on sexual thoughts, look at
seductive pictures, or watch movies or television with casual sex involved, you will experiment
with sex. Even song lyrics desensitize our beliefs. They encourage having “casual” sex outside of
marriage. Our society is so centered around “love”, but it really means “sex” and these two terms
are VERY different. Our hearts are often preoccupied with it, and these thoughts control/shape our
life pursuits. Many people believe they must have a boyfriend or girlfriend to be worth anything.
The opposite is actually true! People that are truly confident do not need anyone to make them feel
valuable. The way to be a confident and mature adult is to practice making good choices now
based on your personal goals, and you will be a mature and confident teenager. Only You can
determine your value!
You are so valuable and powerful! Only you can control your response to situations, and only
you can use self-control to protect yourself. If you have already begun experimenting sexually, it
is time to change your ways and begin again! You must get yourself checked for any STD’s
(Sexually Transmitted Diseases) you might currently have, get treatment if needed and change
your ways! In order to change your habits and pressures, know that you can and must avoid certain
TV, music, movies, magazines, even certain friends, etc. to help you with your personal
convictions/commitments. You are so very powerful! You can get through making these lifestyle
changes, and ultimately change your ways and form good habits. You, however, must have the
commitment and conviction to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Respect your future
spouse enough to commit to this!
Girls, it is completely up to you what you awaken inside yourself. You can awaken 1 of 2 needs
- the need to be ”conquered and controlled” or the need to feel “protected and loved”.
 conquered and controlled – dressing & acting seductive – giving into the culture.
Girls can be predators. They feel power with sexual promiscuity. They actually come
across this way, even though deep down they are truly afraid, insecure and fearful.
 protected and loved – being feminine and modest, waiting for your future spouse and
marriage with true intimacy. With this choice, you must choose for your sexual desires
to rest and wait for that one true love. Only with a commitment to yourself, and with
determination and perseverance, can you accomplish this. That is true for guys and
girls.
With each sexual encounter, you diminish the possibility and capacity to experience true intimacy.
Sex exists to be the ultimate expression of “true love”. If mishandled, it has the potential to be the
ultimate expression of disrespect, selfishness and degradation.
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You can only control yourself! Because of this it is important to surround yourself in friends,
situations and places that exhume safety. What are some ways you can do this?
 Know what situations and things arouse you sexually and avoid them; use
self-control. Some things you can’t avoid, but there are things you can. This self-control
can be as simple as not watching movies that awaken sexual desires in you. This may be
television shows, movies, music, hanging around certain people. “Bad company corrupts
good morals.”
 Certainly alcohol and drugs of any kind contribute to these inappropriate feelings. Avoid
alcohol, drugs and parties that will lead to situations out of your control.
 Group outings are definitely the way to go to avoid temptations, but be careful what group
you are with! Hang out with people with high values and morals. Group outings are much
more fun and bring on less pressure than individual dating.
 Have structured plans. Girls, if a guy asks you out, always ask “What are we going to do?”
Don’t just go and “hang out” – either have a plan or “hang out” with your family! Guys
should spend time and creative effort on you (and money if he can). People get in trouble
just “hanging out”. Women should always challenge guys to be more. Demand to be
treated like a queen – demand respect!
 Guys can’t control the way girls dress, but they can control what kind of girl they hang out
with. A girl dresses in order to either have guys look at her or get to know the real her?? If
girls dress to get guys to look, they are double dipping in temptation because they are
causing guys to think about sex as well as creating more pressures for themselves!
 Make sure you set goals for your future, short term and long term - including marriage and
your future spouse. Before marriage, do not do anything in the dark that you would not do
in front of your parents! You can’t live your life aimlessly, wondering around and expect to
succeed in life. You must have goals, commitment and determination.
 The number one way to awaken “love” in us is music. Healthy music really helps us to
think appropriate thoughts. I would like to challenge each of you to delete inappropriate
music from your ipods and phones that awakens inappropriate thoughts. Secular music
might not bother you, but it doesn’t always build you up. Much of the music I hear
degrades women (after I figure out what they are actually saying!).
 Be free from worry and guilt! We teach abstinence only, which is 100% effective in
keeping you free from worry, guilt, sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) and unwanted
pregnancies. [If however, you or a friend finds yourself in an unplanned pregnancy,
adoption is an awesome option, since many young couples who unknowingly have
Chlamydia, can’t have children & would love to have a child.] That couple could one day
be you and your spouse since at least 50% of sexually active women have Chlamydia. If
you are found in an unplanned pregnancy situation, 2 wrongs do not make a right. Humble
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yourself for 9 months and give the gift of life to a young couple so they can complete their
family!
 Also know that sex outside of a committed, married relationship not only results in
pregnancy, STD’s (physical consequences), but also, spiritual and emotional consequences.
Emotional consequences are the hardest to overcome since they result in severe depression,
insecurities, and many other harmful character traits and often result in future divorce(s).
 As a last thought, when it comes to dating, value your time. Our lives are all so busy,
therefore our time is very valuable. Choose dates carefully. Every date you have takes time
from your life, and is a candidate for your future spouse. So, value your time – it is a gift.
We may not have the gift of tomorrow, so make sure you enjoy the time we do have so that
you can enjoy life instead of being burdened with worry and guilt.
It is an attachment to all of these kinds of things that makes you succumb to temptation and give in
to peer pressure. Know what stirs up sexual desires in your body and avoid those things,
people, situations or whatever!
“Why Should You Wait for Sex?”
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To protect yourself from heartache.
To channel your energies into future goals
To discover deeper friendships
To escape peer pressure
To stop the need for lying
To protect yourself from disease or pregnancy
To avoid bad memories
To share something special with your future spouse
To avoid guilt or disappointment
To respect yourself!
All of your decisions obviously affect people around you. Be a leader. Be a good example! Guys
look around, and may want to have immodest, flirtatious girl friends, but they DO NOT want to
keep these immodest girls as wives! When girls dress immodest, they disrespect themselves and
others!
 Guys ultimately want to either honor or conquer women. You should all crave modesty.
You guys must choose to honor women! Girls, what kind of guy do you want?
 Each of you girls must demand to be honored, loved, respected and protected by men.
If you have been sexually active in any way, you can and should change your ways! This culture
does not control you!! Leaders are always different, they stand-out from our culture. Be different!
Set good examples. Be set apart. Guys and girls, look for high character qualities and morals in
your future mate and future dates. You can both be demanding. Girls, you are so powerful. Always
inspire men to be more by being respectable leaders! You have such a huge part to play!! Do not
listen to the culture around you. Basically, anything society tells us is OK – the exact opposite is
true!
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Each of us must pursue something in life – Set your goals high and do not accept anything less.
Don’t take a chance on unfulfilled dreams! Prepare for your future as if you would live to be 100
years old, but live everyday as it were your last. There is so much power and peace in purity!!!
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