The Development of Sexuality
By Makepeace Sitlhou
The Definition of Sexuality
•
The common understanding of the term.
•
The accurate and complete understanding of the term – ITS NOT JUST ABOUT SEX!
Sexuality is everything that goes into making you a human being. This includes sex, gender identities and roles, sexual
orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction.
Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life (WHO, 2004). It is restricted by laws, moral standards,
family and personal values and social norms that are determined by the distribution of power and decisionmaking in society (Instituto Promundo, 2002; WHO, 2004).
Sexuality is one part of a larger continuum of thinking about identity and how humans share their most intimate and
vulnerable feelings with others.
Nordstedt (2006) claims that sexuality is not only about knowledge and facts, it is also very much about basic existential
questions such as:
 Am I good enough?
 Who am I?
 Am I normal?
 Will I find someone to love and someone who will love me?
 What does sex feel like?
 What is love actually about?
•
Cultural meanings
The History of Sexuality
 Ancient and medieval India
-
-
In Vedic India, women were treated with grace and consideration. However in the postvedic age, there was a
slow but steady decline of their importance in the home and society. A decline, indeed a distinct degeneration
in their status, is visible in medieval India. The purdah system of female seclusion, the sati tradition of
immolating the widow on the husband pyre, dowry, and child marriages were obvious in the preindependence
period.
With respect to classical and medieval Hinduism, the paradigms in myths, rituals, doctrines, and symbols are
masculine. However, with the encroachment of female deities, there was an increased impact of women’s
religious activity. A general lack in acknowledgement of feminine roles in Hinduism.
-
Traditional Indian folklore provide an important theme - the perennial, cosmic-based conflict between man and
woman - that flows through much of male-female relationships in Indian culture and domestic life. For e.g.,
Shiva and Parvati argue interminably about who is the better dancer, while Vishnu and Lakshmi are constantly
debating which is the greater divinity.
-
The custom of nigora officially recognized the erotic importance of the brother-in-law - in the sense that he
would or could have sexual relations with his elder’s brother’s widow. The nigora custom has been traced back to
the times of the Rig-veda where a man, identified by the commentators as the brother-in-law, is described as
extending his hand in promised marriage to a widow inclined to share her husband’s funeral pyre.
-
Kakar (1989:19) says that it is stated in the smritis (the Law codes) and elaborated in the puranas which are not
only collections of myths but also contain chapters on the correct conduct of daily life, modified for local
usage by the various kinds of religiosi, the message that seems to be “No sex in marriage, we’re Indian.”
 Biblical background
10,000 to 3,000BC
A family was viewed as belonging to the male as his property. A female in a family had to be monogamous but a male could
mate with unattached females. and he sure did! The world's population exploded to over one hundred million by 3,000BC.
About 400BC
One of the most sacred positions for a single women was as a temple prostitute.
If a Babylonian wife committed adultery, it was the husband's choice whether she lived or died. Likewise if she spent too much
money, the husband could divorce her or make her a slave. If the wife could not bear children, she was required by law to find
her husband a surrogate!
The Hebrews in Biblical days also allowed the man as many wives as he could support. Then the Hebrews started worshiping
one God as opposed to many. They discovered they were the "chosen" people to bring this new message to the world, and to
prove it they instituted a number of sexual practices and prohibitions, starting with circumcision to show Gods preference for
their race. Likewise the Jews began to impose monogamous standards in part as a way to ensure the purity of the race and
the multiplication of the "chosen ones".
The First 1000 years A.D.
While the political empire fell in the next century, the Church stepped in as the new central authority. Threats of burning in hell
were even more effective than the army for controlling large and diverse populations.
Augustine (354-430A.D.) was a primary theological shaper of thought and went so far as to argue that sex was sinful even
within wedlock unless the specific purpose is always conception! This reflects the need at the time for many more children.
Infant mortality was very high, the economic and political structures were based on families. Likewise clerical celibacy was in
part shaped by fear that offspring would fight over Church property.
Christianity
whatever the Church said was now law. Intercourse was no longer natural and good, sex was dirty and only for procreation.
Celibacy was the new standard for the clergy. And it was a great money maker! If you sinned by enjoying sex, you must come
to the Church for repentance which required a donation to demonstrate your faith.

Michael Foucault’s, ‘History of Sexuality’
Foucault questions the popular Freudian notion of ‘repressive hypothesis’. Foucault disagrees with the claim that sex
has been repressed and silenced. He argues that Discourse about sex has only intensified and proliferated since the
eighteenth century.
How it is that we have come to see sex as the key to explaining us, has to do with the relationship sex has with power
and knowledge. Sexuality is the conduit of power. The deployment of sexuality in family and society with the rise of the
bourgeoisie, who saw sexual deviance as hereditary and dangerous to the continued survival of their class. The controls
they placed on sex were thus primarily intended to ensure their own health and longevity.
The bourgeois would want to control and confine sex because it is a dangerous opponent to their work ethic. The
desire to control discourse and knowledge about sex is essentially a desire to control power.
The rise of the bourgeois did not suppress sexuality, as such, but only its open discussion which has fueled more
interest in the discourse.
Repressive hypothesis is actually a political rebellion against the bourgeois society.
According to Foucault, sexuality is thought of as the essence of a being, as the thing that makes us what we are, when
in fact, it is just a social construct that makes us easier to control.
Our talking about “it” as if it were a secret, as something hidden, is what drives us to uncover it, to learn about it.
Theories of Sexuality
 Freud’s Psychosexual stages of Development
The basic premise of his theory is in the five distinct phases of development: the oral stage (0 - 1.5
years), the anal stage (1.5 - 3.5 years), the phallic stage (3.5 - 6 years) culminating in the resolution of
the Oedipus conflict followed by a period of sexual latency (6 years to puberty) and the genital, or
adult, stage.
The Oedipus & Electra conflict, described as sexual feelings of possessiveness to either parent and
subsequent identification with the object or the parent of desire, is significant in identity and
personality formation.
In each stage, parents need to strike a balance between permitting too much gratification or too little
gratification of their child’s basic needs. If the parents make a fine line between the two extremes
and the child harnesses or sublimates these innate drives, then the latter grow into well-adjusted
adults with the capacity for mature sexual behavior, investment in family life and rearing for the
next generation.
 The Evolutionary Perspective
•
•
•
•
Human Sexuality: Uniform or Distinct?
The human organism is neither a passive mediator between stimulus and response nor a mindless vehicle of
culture, but an active assessor and planner.
In understanding human sexuality, Montaigne observed that. “Nature makes us live in the future, not the present”
Selection can be expected to favor the existence of desires, though they may rarely be translated into behavior.
•
Sexual Arousal – Playboy vs. Mills & Boon
•
•
Sex differences in the psychological processes that produce sexual arousal.
Kinsey et al. (1948, 1953) reported that men are sexually aroused far more easily and frequently by visual stimuli
than women are.
Current trend attempts to minimize the sex differences in visual arousal and to break the myth about women
being sexually repressed.
Heiman’s (1975) study with college students found sex differences in response to erotic tapes and especially
major differences in response to the “control” tapes. The male response to a control tape was found to be
stronger than the strongest female response to an erotic tape.
Kinsey reports (1953) revealed that 54% males reported arousal by visuals of nude females while only 12%
females were aroused by nude depictions of males and females.
Readership of adult magazines, cases of peeping toms, sex differences in dress and posture are exemplary.
•
•
•
•
Darwin's illustrations of beak variation in the finches of
the Galápagos Islands, which hold 13 closely related species that
differ most markedly in the shape of their beaks. The beak of
each species is suited to its preferred food, suggesting that beak
shapes evolved by natural selection.
•Men objectify women which is why they are instantly aroused by the sight of women’s genitals while women are aroused by a
subjective process of identification with the female participant or a wish for future sex/relationship with the male participant,
which is, not the same as immediate arousal.
•Symons quips that the modesty of women in reporting sexual arousal as a basic female adaptation to use sexual intercourse and
the possibility of sexual intercourse to advantage in an environment in which males wield physical and political power.
•Explained in terms of ultimate causation, selection favored the basic male tendency to become sexually aroused by the sight of
females, the strength of such arousal being proportionate to perceived female reproductive value. Females strategize on finding
the fittest available male as reproductively they put a lot more at stake. Hence, arousal by visual stimulus doesn’t favor them. E.g..
massage parlours.
•Male display of genitals, a threat, while female display of genitals, a sexual invitation
•Colette coined an “instinct for spontaneous comparison” in women interested in looking at women’s bodies or aroused by
pornographic depiction of women to increase their reproductive success by learning to manage and manipulate their desires.
Sexual Attractiveness
- Because it is directly related to genes and distributed undemocratically, this factor has been highly underplayed by social
scientists.
-The perception of physical attractiveness in three different kinds of psychological mechanisms –
Absolute – baby blue eyes
Relative – a pair of beautiful hands, rare among many
Interactionist/Cultural – big built women preferable in societies where there’s shortage of food and essential nutrients whilst in
societies in surplus revere the concept of, “thin is in” alias size 0.
Important Adaptive Characteristics
Selection for wife/husband detecting or sexual partner detecting (Williams, 1975)
 Health
Complexion, cleanliness, skin condition, evidence of disease or deformity, muscle tone, teeth, hair, gait/mobility.
 Age
-Especially important for women than men.
-The male evaluative mechanism (unconscious) has been designed more for detecting the most reproductively valuable
wives than for detecting the most reproductively valuable sex partners.
 High status/position/skilled/prowess
-Especially relevant for men.
-Selection can be expected to favor the female desire for high status sex partners, as distinct from husbands, only to the
extent that the variance in male status has a genetic basis. E.g. she wont choose between brothers of the same status and
lineage.
-The ideal age for a wife is different from an ideal age for a sex partner whereas a high status male is both the best choice
for a husband and for a sex partner, for a female.
-The human female evaluative mechanism is speculated to be designed to select reproductively the most valuable husbands
than for detecting reproductively the most valuable sex partner.
 Racial selection/variation
-Darwin (1871) believed that sexual, rather than natural, selection is primarily responsible for racial differences.
-Racial differences are primarily the result of natural selection and the tendency to prefer one’s race is an artifact of the
tendency to prefer the norm, reinforced by sexual selection.
The Coolidge Effect – the desire for sexual variety
• A man may increase his reproductive success by copulating with many women (other than his wife) whereas a woman is
bound to have the same no. of offsprings whether with one man or several men.
• Since a man may benefit more and lose little as compared to women, selection universally favors the male desire for a
variety of partners. Women, in exceptional cases, may benefit from more partners but it is contingent on the reproductive
value of the base partner.
• Experiments have shown that the cessation of the male’s sexual activity with a female is not a result of fatigue.
• Copulation per se does not render a female less sexually attractive to males in general. From this point, the biological
value of virginity is a social myth!
• The phenomenon of male rearousal by a new female is called the Coolidge Effect. Derived from an incident including
former American president Coolidge and his first lady.
• Coolidge effect undiminished even when the bodies and the heads were disguised (Beamer et al. 1969). However, the
magnitude of the effect is variable (Wilson et al. 1963).
• An estrous female that continued to experience sexual desire after a male had ceased to copulate with her might solicit a
second male, not in search of variety per se but in search of sexual stimulation.
• In human societies, commonly manifests in the archaic practice of polygamy or the habit of keeping mistresses. Women,
with re]spect to extra marital relations, seek out emotional bonds or in passion rather than sexual variety.
Shortcomings
-This theory may favor male sexual promiscuity without adequately referring to the threat of STDs.
-Reduces sexuality or sex to the purpose and point of procreation. Doesn’t fully appreciate that sex, as an act, may be
fulfilling in itself.
Sexual Development
TWO BASIC VIEWS –
•
Biological – medical approach
•
Social – cultural/societal approach
1.
Non-Normative/symptomatic behavior
Cases of abuse, behavioral problems, post traumatic stress disorder etc.
1.
Normative Behavior
Peel Public Health (2007) list the following stages of children’s sexual development Note: It is not a standard for all children but the general path to discovery that is often taken.
Birth to Age 2
•Learn about love and trust through loving relationships with
parents and their caregivers.
• Explore their bodies, including their genitals.
• May have erections or lubricate vaginally.
• Experience genital pleasure.
• Begin to learn expected behaviour.
• Begin to notice differences between the bodies of boys and
girls, children and adults.
Ages 3 to 5
•Become very curious about bodies, and the differences between
boys and girls.
• May play house, or doctor or other forms of body exploration or
"sex play" with friends.
• Learn that they are either male or female.
• Learn about male/female roles by observing others.
• Enjoy learning about and talking about body parts and functions.
• Find adult bathroom activities very interesting.
• May ask questions about pregnancy and birth such as: "Where
did I come from?"
• May learn words related to sex and try using them.
• May mimic adult sexual behaviour.
• May begin to masturbate.
Ages 6 to 8
•Begin to have strong friendships with children of the same sex.
• Be affected by stories they hear in the media (e.g. about AIDS or
abuse).
• Have definite ideas about male and female roles.
• Have a basic sexual orientation and identity.
• Want to be like their peers; for example, boys may feel pressured
to choose the type of toys and activities that other boys choose.
• May engage in name-calling and teasing.
• May continue with sex play.
• May begin to masturbate.
Ages 9 to 12
•May begin the changes of puberty.
•Become more modest and want privacy.
•Continue to value same sex friendships.
•May experience increased sexual feelings and fantasies.
•Develop crushes on friends, older teens, teachers, rock stars,etc.
•Romantic feelings may be directed towards the same sex and / or
the opposite sex.
•May take part in sexual exploration with peers.
•May masturbate to orgasm.
•May have to face decisions about sex and drugs.
Ages 13 to 18
•Complete the changes of puberty.
•Place great value on independence.
•Experience increased sexual feelings and desire physical closeness
with a partner.
•May face peer pressure to be sexually active whether or not they
feel ready.
•May change close friendships in favour of romantic relationships.
•May make choices which lead to pregnancy or sexually transmitted
diseases
•May have to face violence in relationships (sexual harassment, date
rape).
Sexuality and Gender Roles
•
Male and female sexuality are constructs of society.
•
The stereotypes about male and female sexuality have the purpose of connecting sexuality to
reproduction, and of confirming male power and control.
•
Societies expect girls to abstain, not be interested in sex and passively wait for the man to court
her. Men and boys are supposed to be strong, have many sexual partners, get what they want
through forms of aggression and have a lack of sensitivity for feelings.
•
Even in sexual intercourse, a man believes his maleness is sufficient to make him a know-all in this
area. The act, many a times, is aimed at male gratification only and that a woman, who expresses
dissatisfaction or in very rare cases, desires for orgasmic release, is considered wanton and
shameless (H.C. Ganguli, 1988)
•
Norms related to masculinity and sexuality, such as those which claim male sexual needs are
uncontrollable, multiple partners as evidence of sexual prowess, and dominance over women (both
physical and sexual) can place young men and women at high risk of HIV/AIDS and perpetuate
cycles of violence (Barker and Ricardo, 2005).
Gender Identity:
Different From Gender Role
•
Gender identity refers to one’s sense of maleness or femaleness and may be distinguished
from ‘Gender Role’, which refers to the masculinity and feminity of one’s overt behavior
(Money, 1988). It has the strongest and an imperfect correlation with biological sex.
•
What differentiates children who don’t behave in traditional play roles of girls and boys
from kids with gender identity disorder is that the latter has a strong desire to grow up as
and to be the opposite sex.
•
The vast majority of children with gender identity disorder probably become homosexual
or heterosexual adults, with only a small minority becoming transsexuals.
•
Is it really a mental disorder of an individual or the lack of fit in a society that has narrow
perspectives on gender behavior?
•
Ideally, it shouldn’t be labeled as ‘sick’ since, unlike cruelty or criminality, cross gender
behavior harms no one.
Sexual Identity
•
Sexual identity is our ability to be attracted to or fall in love with the opposite or same sex. Sexual orientation is not
always constant in life, a person may experience periods in life where they are more attracted to persons of the
opposite sex and other periods when they are more attracted to persons of the same sex.
•
In most societies, the norms are based on heterosexual relationships even though global studies have shown that at
least 3-7% of all populations are homosexual (Kontula, 2004; Samelius and Wågberg, 2005).
•
Homosexual young women and men often recognize their attraction for persons of the same sex early in life,
sometimes even before puberty. Because of the stigma against homosexuality, many are not open and can be in
heterosexual relationships because of social expectations to enter family life and have children although they are not
comfortable in doing so.
Childhood origination
o The psychoanalytic hypothesis states that homosexuality is associated with dysfunctional parent-child relationships.
o Sex a-typical behavior in childhood
o Homosexual people subjected to early, possibly prenatal, hormonal influences more typical of the opposite sex. Goy
McEwen’s (1980) study with deprivation of hormones in rats.
o Homosexuals different from heterosexuals in the size of one region of the hypothalamus that affects sexual behavior
(Simon LeVay, 1991).
o Genetic factors
o Environmental influence: Prenatal or Social?
o No scientific data for child abuse / seductive recruitment by homosexual adults
•
The distinction between sexual identities is a matter of degree rather than kind. E.g. Lisa M. Diamond’s
(University of Utah) 10 year longitudinal study with female bisexuality from adolescence to adulthood (2008)
Sexuality Education And Development Stages
The developmental stages are classified into four very broad categories:
•
Younger children (five to seven)
•
Intermediate children (eight to ten)
•
Older children (eleven to twelve)
•
Teenagers
Younger children (five to seven).
•
•
•
•
•
Ego centric sexuality
Modesty about their bodies.
Parents shouldn’t overreact to their child’s sex plays.
Exchange of sex information emerges in the form of sexual jokes, riddles, and rhymes which can become their
primary source.
Emphasis on knowing and being comfortable with one's sexual self while simultaneously avoiding negative
modeling.
Intermediate children (eight to ten).
•Differentiate between self and others, between internal and external bodily events.
•Sexuality education at this age can illustrate causality and thus more complex information.
•At this stage, children become intrigued with reproductive mechanisms.
•Sexuality programs should provide relevant and scientific knowledge and instructions to implement them.
Older children (eleven to twelve).
•During this time children integrate internal and external phenomena into one system.
•They can easily see how one factor (lack of knowledge) may interact or combine with another factor (lack of selfesteem) to produce risky sexual acts and teenage pregnancies. Such interactive relationships are crucial in sexuality
education designed to foster self-protective thinking among students.
•With the advent of puberty, the biological side of development now begins to play a major role.
•There is a strong sense of one's external appearance and how it may be perceived as significant by others.
•Crucial stage of sex ed. Girls and boys need to be informed about the internal and the external body changes with
accompanying feelings and the resultant behavior.
•Most importantly, that these body changes are part of normal sexual development.
Teenagers (12 – 20 approx.)
•The teen years are considered by most authorities in development to be the most stressful. Personal appearance and
social popularity grow to be overwhelming forces in teens' daily life.
•Teenagers naturally make sexual behavior a part of attaining peer affirmation.
•Teenagers at this level possess a strong sense of autonomy. They easily detect in adults, especially their teachers, hidden
strategies designed to alter their behavior or thinking.
•Sexuality education for teens must be presented in a factual manner that avoids the appearance of preaching or
admonishment.
•Reproduction, contraception, and communication are among the more meaningful at this stage, but prevention of sexual
assault and information on sexual varieties also generate interest among teenagers.
Sexuality in Contemporary India
•
-
Children
Pampered till they reach their puberty and are prepared for future domestic roles.
Segregated at puberty.
Some remote tribes practice a natural approach to sexuality.
Major influence of the media, which is also the main source of information.
Indulge in sex play and exploration.
•
-
Adolescents
In traditional Indian society, adolescents were initiated into their sexual roles, more or less, in a clearly defined period
and by a series of ceremonies and rites.
Present day generation conflicted between the evolving values of the society and western influence coupled with
media exposure.
Curiosity quenched in literature and sexual experimentation.
Faced with the widening gap of the physical age at which they are ready and the age at which it is culturally
acceptable.
•
•
-
Adults
Pre-marital sex considered immoral and only a marriage bond sanctions this kind of a relationship/interaction
between a man and a woman.
More live-in couples in the metros which has now been legally sanctioned.
However, arranged marriages are still the dominant norm through classifieds, match making agencies or pandits. The
impetus for arranged marriages is respect for the wisdom of one’s elders.
The Physically Disabled and Elderly
No organized attempts for assessments of these groups.
Very little training in sexuality provided to professionals who work with them and no effort to deal with their sexual
Key Dysfunctional and Problematic
Issues in the Indian Society
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Girls carry the load of family honor while boys get away unharmed.
Virgin brides.
Masturbation leads to impotency.
Sex is sinful beyond the purview of reproduction/procreation.
Contraception and religion stand at pole ends.
Sex, within or out of marriage, is a choice and not an obligation/duty.
Western media is not solely responsible for the rise in problems related to sex.
Cross gender companionship should be perceived more progressively.
Sex Education in India?
•
•
•
•
•
India had included sex education in its national curriculum
since the late 1980s, but earlier course material gave little
detail on contraception and sexually transmitted diseases
and had no illustrations.
In 2007, Six of India's 28 states have suspended a new
"adolescence education" program designed for 15- to 17year-olds in all state-run schools and devised jointly by the
National Education Ministry and the government body
responsible for combating the spread of AIDS.
Information in the curriculum on contraception and
sexually-transmitted diseases provoked anger.
Sex education is more acceptable as a part of a pre-marital
counseling programme.
2008: Condom and safe sex are terms that will find no
mention in the new sex education module being devised
for school students in India. It will instead stress on
abstinence, announced the National Aids Control
Organization. The current module would not have too
many illustrations and drawings.
SEX EDUCATION: A REALITY CHECK
•
•
•
•
•
•
-
Sex education is the process of acquiring information and developing skills.
Sexuality education is NOT about learning how to have sex or encouraging children to have early
sex. Contrary to popular belief, studies have revealed that children who have access to non
judgmental sexual education delay their first intercourse (RFSU 2004).
It is not only about the dangers and risks of sexuality nor is it about making children scared of
their own and others’ sexuality.
Sex education is not an education in morality but is based upon facts and answering children’s
queries straightforwardly.
Sexuality education should be about confirming feelings and explaining sensations of the body in
order to create strategies to understand a sexuality that is safe and secure.
However, on ground:
Children are instructed in sex education and are often not given opportunities to participate in open
discussions.
The topics of sexual transmission and sexuality are not covered
Clear gender bias in trainings which reinforce stereotypes.
Sex Ed. & Sexuality:
The greater involvement of children
•
•
•
•
Some of the policies and programs directed towards children are using messages that do not correspond to children’s
reality.
Children have the same concerns about sexuality as adults. Some children are sexually active and have been
overlooked in the field.
Children have the right to receive correct and accurate information and services in order to protect themselves against
HIV/AIDS and to be able to grow up healthy.
People working with children must be encouraged to rethink their perceptions and ideas. We are not protecting
children by hiding or ignoring facts.
WHY THE NEED?

Children are vulnerable to HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted infections.

Children benefit from early information and education to a mature healthy sexuality.

To prevent abuse or trauma that lead up to developmental or adult disorders.

To sensitize them towards soft target groups of women, homosexuals, transsexuals etc.
Here’s hoping that society treats sexuality with more
respect and integrity!
References
•
-
Book references –
Sexuality in the Time of AIDS by Verma, Pelto, Schensul & Joshi (2004)
Behavioral Research in Sexuality by H.C. Ganguli (1988)
The Evolution of Sexuality by Donald Symons (1981)
The Cultural Construction of Sexuality by Patricia Caplan
The History of Sexuality by Michael Foucault, Vol. 1, An Introduction (1990)
•
-
Net references Larsson, IngBeth. Child sexuality and sexual behaviour (2000, Swedish National Board of Health and Welfare
(report), Article number 2000-36-001. English translation (Lambert & Tudball) Article number 2001-123-20.
-
http://www.libchrist.com/bible/history.html
-
The International Encyclopedia of Indian Sexuality compiled by Jayaji Krishna Nath, M.D., and
Vishwarath R. Nayar
-
http://www.sparknotes.com/philosophy/histofsex/summary.html