Face to Face in the Workplace
Strategies for dealing with
conversations at work
Julie Cooper
Spring Development
www.springdevelopment.net
What we are doing today:
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•
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Tell you about Face to Face in the Workplace
Explore how you impact on others
Discover why conversations go wrong
Learn some simple strategies that work
Our first book.....
• Regularly on Amazon best
sellers lists since 2008
• Widely used as course text
book for advice and guidance
qualifications
Then along came books
two and three....
What worked....
• Practical “how to” approach
• Clear structure, simple language
• Friendly illustrations
• Theory made accessible
• Toolkit of models, ideas and
strategies
• “It’s hard when....”
• Stories as examples – including
how to get it wrong!
What’s in the book:
The Basics:
Self awareness
Personality styles
Assertive behaviour
Credibility
Rapport
Explaining
Listening
Questioning
Body language
Positive regard
How to challenge
Shutting people up
Saying no
On the hop
• Influencing
• Back from Sickness
and Persuasion
interviews
• Instructing
• Challenging attitude • Interviewing job
and negativity
applicants
• Change, Introducing • Managing your Boss
• Coaching
•Mentoring
• Conflict
• Negotiating
• Dark Triad
•Performance gaps
• Delegating
• Praising
• Disciplinary meetings • Redundant, Making
• Feedback
someone
• Exit interviews
• Dismissing a member
• Grievance, handling a of staff
• Inappropriate
• Supervisory meetings
behaviour
• 360° Feedback
• Appraisals
Why strategies for conversations?
Because....
• We think we’re understood
• We think we’ve explained
• We don’t challenge enough
• We don’t explore issues to get to the heart
of the matter
• We’re under pressure to get quick results
But the real
results are...what?
OCEAN – Who are you?
The Big Five:
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Openness to experience
Conscientious
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Neuroticism
Know your own personality
What do we bring?
Perception and filters caused by our:
• Motives
• Sexuality
• Learning history
• Values and ethics
•Thinking skills
• Capacity to feel
• Sense of worth
• Fears
•Culture and Crosscultural Skills
•Experience
•Social Class
How can each of these affect a conversation?
Past and Present Anxiety
What is the impact on our behaviour?
Pussyfooting
What are the
characteristics of
pussyfooting?
Sorry to disturb you....I
wonder...could we talk
about....would you mind
awfully...Oh, I can see you’re
busy...
No, it really doesn’t matter...
It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?
It can wait...
Clobbering!
What is the likely reaction of
Topi?
What impact does it have on
you?
• Be aware of your emotions
and the impact they may have
on others
•Remember that others will
assign different levels of
importance so may not react
as you expect
When do we need a plan?
If there is a purpose, an agenda, an important
decision, a need to connect at a new level...
When it matters!
DOTS....
Definition
Think Ahead
What
exactly is
going on
here?
What do I need
to prepare in
advance?
Outcomes
Steps
What is it
I want to
achieve?
What needs
to happen
during the
discussion?
The Three Step Tango
1.Listen until you understand where the
other person is coming from.
Gather all the facts, feelings and
circumstances. Try and get to the bottom of
Topi’s interests and motivation. Let him
know you have heard and understood.
2. Say what you think and feel about the
situation.
But don’t say but!
3. Say what you would like to happen next,
considering the consequences for yourself and
the other person
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OFFA’s Agenda
Think of a discussion you have
had at work recently.
What did Topi say?
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Opinion
Facts
Feelings
Assumptions
Were they present in your example?
How did they affect the outcome?
Nip it in the Bud
Three stage perception checking technique:
1. State the behaviour
“Sarah, every time I mention the project deadline,
you roll your eyes”
2. Say what it means to you
“I take it this means you have a problem with
the time scales”
3. Ask for confirmation
“Am I right?”
Final Words
• The impact you have on others is
critical to relationships
• Relationships are critical to successful
outcomes
• Adapting your style to help others
understand you is not a cop out!
www.springdevelopment.net
Thank
you!
20% discount
at the checkout
for Unimenta
members at
www.
springpublishing.co.uk
Use the code
Unimenta
Thank you for taking part.
Please do let me know if you have any
questions or feedback.
julie@springdevelopment.net
If you would like to be kept informed on
upcoming webinars. Please join my mailing
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