Personal
Statements
Writing Winning Papers
What’s it about?
• It’s always all about you!
• So make your experiences work for
you.
• Make your story memorable.
• Make it come alive to that anonymous
reader.
• Let him see your past, present, and
future.
You Need Two
Types of Essay
• A general personal
statement about
your background
and your goals.
• An essay about a
topic that is
important or
interesting to you-your inspirations,
your greatest value,
your consuming
interest.
General Personal
Statement
This encompasses past, present, &
future.
• Background, which has made you
• Who you are now, leading to
• Who and what you hope to become
Readers want to
know
• That you are resilient, i.e. you can face
difficulty and overcome obstacles to
success
• That you are able to adapt to new
environments and challenges
• That you are disciplined, yet curious
• That you want to give back in some
way
Organizing
• Background
• You right now:
school, grades, awards, etc.
• The future: goals, dreams,
plans, etc.
40%
20%
40%
First Steps
Write a compelling beginning
• Use a powerful quotation that means
something to you
• Or reflect on a difficulty you face or an
idea you find interesting
• Or describe a person, an experience
or an incident that is important to you
A Quotation
• Martin Luther King Jr. once said “The ultimate
measure of a man is not where he stands in
moments of comfort and inconvenience, but where
he stands at time of challenge and controversy.”
When I was a little kid, I always thought that life
was going to be easy; however, my impression was
different as the time passed. I have faced many
obstacles and challenges since I started my
education. But every time they appeared in front of
me, I would do my best to break them and not be
afraid of them.
A Challenge
• Growing up, I have ever walked in the shadow of
my older brother. I am a quality swimmer, but my
brother had always been better. Because of this, I
have always had to work my hardest to achieve
what came naturally to my brother. Even in
school, it seemed that he performed better than I
did. With his natural talents shining through at
every turn, I decided to push myself to give my
best and surpass him.
A Reflection
• Growing up in a Mexican household yet living in an
American world was very tough. The culture from
my family has been passed down to me and it
flows through my blood as it does with everyone
else in my family. On the inside I am a full blooded
Mexican, and I am proud to be that and wouldn't
change it for anything. But on the outside, I am a
typical American teen who does everything that
American teens do like play football and watch
television. Family is very important to me because
without them I don't know if I would be the same
person that I am today.
Idea or Inspiration
• A community is a group of people that have agreed to
live in an area and share their lives. The community of
people will grow and experience things as a whole.
This will only happen for a while, because a
"Community cannot for long feed on itself, it can only
flourish with the coming from beyond, their unknown
and undiscovered brother.” Because growing means
that you have experienced many things in life whether
they are happy or horrible moments. These
experiences can only be witnessed when someone new
enters the party, and it's not just the same old people all
the time.
Organize
• Think about the most logical order for
your ideas. You can try:
• Past, present, future
• Present, past, future
• Future, past, present, future again.
Choosing Details
•
•
•
•
•
•
Keep the details vivid and powerful.
Don’t use too many words.
Stay within about two pages typed.
500 to 800 words
Avoid unnecessary repetition
Make every word count
Powerful words
• During my early childhood, I lived in
Oaxaca, Mexico with my parents.
While living there I learned the true
meaning of poverty. It is living in a
shack made of sticks and boards with
dirt floors next to a field littered with
trash and the bodies of dead dogs.
Just say it!
Don’t overthink. Write from the heart.
• “Yet many of my classmates would make
fun of me and even tell me to go back to
Mexico. I was so sad during those early
days of education, but I proposed myself a
new goal, and that was to give all of my
effort to my education. Meanwhile, I spend
my time studying much harder; as a result, I
noticed that I went even further from where
my eyes had seen.”
Your goals,
Your dreams
• This may be the most important part.
• The readers want to see:
That you have a clear set of goals
That you are building your future on your
present behaviors
That you can adapt to challenges and
persevere
Building on the
Present
•
I fight for the rights of students who are now not
able fund a higher education due to the law that
passed this year, regarding undocumented
students here in Arizona to pay out of state tuition
for college, making it impossible for a higher
education on students with low income families. I
have recently worked with a group of students in
Metro Tech High School to win a grant to inform
others of the DREAM Act, an act that will help
undocumented students have a chance to pursue a
higher education.
For the Future
• I have been accepted to Arizona State University
and plan to major is in Concrete Industry
Management, not only because of personal
interest, but because it will give me an opportunity
to help others. By working in such a field, I will be
able to network with major companies that can
assist me in building homes for people in need. I
also plan to open a center where Hispanic families
who wish to learn English can come and learn how
to speak and write the United States native
language, in a manner where they are able to
communicate with others.
Big Dreams
• Make yours come alive:
• “My goal is to one day become an Accountant and in
order to obtain such goal I must attend college and
university. Unfortunately, I am a low-income person
where my parents can not afford my educational career.
Therefore, I lift up my hand to ask for help, I have my
goals set. I just need the financial support. Because I
know that I will not let my helper down I will keep trying
until I get what I want. I also know where I am heading
and I also know how to take advantage of all the career
opportunities. Many laws have been approved by
Congress so students like me don’t get to receive
scholarships; however, I have a light of hope.”
Concluding
• Conclusions in a personal statement
should be, of course, intensely
personal.
• They should leave the reader thinking
about you.
• They are your last chance to impress.
• Finish with a bang!
Extending on the
Lead
In addition, Martin L. King also said, “I submit to you that
if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he
isn’t fit to live.” Perhaps Martin L. King also meant to
say that challenges will never go away, but keep in
mind that without the obstacles, there wouldn’t be
anything to fight for in this life. Martin L. King fought to
end segregation against African Americans and it was
a fight with no violence. Likewise, I fight for my
education and career goals. I treat this country as my
home and I would like to be treated as a good example
in the eyes of society. Becoming an outstanding and
high-performing student is not easy but this nation has
inspired me to be what I am now.
Conclude with
your big dream
. I hope that one day I will be able to build a structure
that will be remembered by everyone. A building
that I can go back to and proudly tell my
grandchildren that I built that. With the skills that I
am learning in school I hope to one day own my
construction company. With my bilingual skills I
will be able to communicate with my workers and
with contractors who want me to do their building.
Math and Science are really important in this triad
and I know that with the education I am receiving at
school that my dream can come true.
Connect to the
main idea
My brother’s talents have given me reasonable envy
because I have always had to work harder than he
did. So far, I have succeeded in achieving higher
marks in nearly every class that my brother and I
have taken. Looking back, perseverance and hard
work has taken me far, but I will never stop in
hopes of achieving the ambitions I have made and
have yet to formulate. No matter what gets in my
way, I will face it head-on like a rampaging bull.
Whether it is in the pool, academic performance, or
an everyday occurrence, I put myself into it 100
percent.
Writing Tips
• Write a draft (or 2 or 3) of each
section.
• Revise and edit each before
combining the sections
• Read it aloud to others
• Make it perfect
We can’t say it
enough!
• No matter what the prompt is, it’s all about
you.
• Revise, revise, revise
• Edit, Edit, Edit, Proofread. Make it perfect.
• Always look to the promise of the future,
whatever your past is.
• Never come across as “poor little me.”