Love
Love in Modern Society
An Impersonal Society exaggerates the rational and
economic aspects of human and tends to ignore
people’s need for affection and human conduct (p. 102).
Placing a greater value on achievement and
consumerism than on attitudes and behaviors necessary
to maintain long-term loving relationships
The Paradox
4 Things Love “Isn’t”
Martyring:
Manipulating:
Limerence:
Romanticizing:
Love:
A deep and vital emotion that
satisfies important and significant
human needs, coupled with caring
for and acceptance of the beloved,
resulting in an intimate
relationship
Need Satisfaction (Crosby)
Legitimate Needs:
Illegitimate:
Intimacy:
The capacity to share one’s inner
self and to commit to that person
even if it involves personal sacrifice
Two Kinds
Triangular Theory (Sternberg)
Three “Components” of Love
Love Types
1. EROS
2.
STORGE
3.
LUDUS
4.
AGAPE
5.
PRAGMA
6.
MANIA
(Lee)
Relationship Types (Crosby)
A-Frame
H-Frame
M-Frame
Labeling Love
(Schacter)
Emotional experience consists of 2 parts
Love Stories (Stenberg)
4 Stage Model of
“How Love Progresses”
(Goldstine & Weiner)
1.
2.
3.
4.
Falling in Love
Disappointment
Requests for Change
Acceptance/Resolution
Wheel of Love
(Reiss)
1. Rapport
4. Personality need
Fulfillment
2. Self-Revelation
3. Mutual Dependence
Wheel of Love
(Reiss)
Sociocultural background
Role Concept
Love Vs. Friendship
(Davis & Todd)
Prototype of Friendship
1. Enjoyment
2. Acceptance
3. Trust
4. Respect
5. Mutual Acceptance
6. Confiding
7. Understanding
8. Spontaneity
Love Vs. Friendship
(Davis & Todd)
Involves all the Friendship characteristics
as well as two broad clusters:
Self-Worth (i.e., self-esteem)
and the ability to be loved
Refers to one’s self-concept: involving the feelings that people
have about their own value (p. 110)
The Six “Pillars” or practice of building self-worth (Branden)
1.
Live consciously (default vs. knowledgably)
2.
Self-acceptance
3.
Self-responsibility
4.
Self-assertiveness -- honoring our wants, needs, & values
5.
Live purposefully -- set attainable goals & reach them
6.
Personal integrity -- congruent behaviors
Misconceptions of Love
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Love conquers all; if the relationship is tough,
than you have the wrong partner
Love is static; once you fall in love, you get on a
high and stay there
If it isn’t perfect, it wasn’t meant to be
You can’t rekindle passion; once love dies, you
can’t get it back
There’s one true soul mate; if you meet the “right
one”, you will live happily ever after.